After the birth of my son, my mother continued to act distant, her demeanor when speaking to me bordering on icy. It only added to my resentment. She'd taken my baby without giving me the chance to say goodbye. She'd refused to show sympathy to my pain and now she was keeping me at arm's length.

        Some part of me knew it was childish to resent her for things she could not control. She'd warned me again and again not to grow attached to a baby that would never be mine and I willfully ignored that advice. But I was young. I was angry. I needed someone to take the brunt of my frustration and sadness. My mother was an easy target. Somehow I managed to forget the reality I should not have forgotten. To miss the urgency with which Mama now reminded me of her rules and secret recipes. Where she had hidden the few precious belongings she'd managed to acquire in her lifetime. She was preparing for the end and in my pettiness, I was oblivious.

    Even weeks after my boy was taken I remained angry. Her refusal to offer comfort had left me feeling as barren as my womb now was and I was intent on punishing her for it. I developed the habit of rising even earlier than she to go for a walk in the field before facing the kitchen where I still labored by her side every day, denying her my presence any more than circumstances dictated. One morning, however, when I arrived in the kitchen, my mother was not there.

    Not thinking too much of it, I donned my apron and went to Lexia who was already instructing the others on their day's tasks but when she saw me, the sibla woman stopped, staring at me strangely.

    "Alice," she said. "I'm not sure I expected you so early."

    "So early?" I replied with confusion. I was exactly on time. If anything I had wandered a bit more than I ought to have. "I feared I was late," I admitted. "I'm surprised my mother has not already arrived by now."

Lexia's expression grew somber. She really was a kind woman, never going out of her way to be needlessly cruel to any of us. In that moment I saw nothing but sympathy in her gaze.

    "Then, you don't know?" she asked.

    The question and the expression on her face was all it took. I knew where my mother was. In an instant I was running from the kitchen, tearing off my apron in the process and leaving it on the floor even as Lexia shouted for me to come back.

    By the time I reached to main gates, the butcher's truck was there as I knew it would be. Dulane hadn't even had the nerve to complete the task himself. He was shipping my mother off to the slaughterhouse with all of the other cull animals. His favorite. The woman who had given him more than 30 years of service and 13 of her offspring. In the end? She was nothing to him but a used up animal. Meat.

    I caught sight of her immediately, in line with a variety of older men and women though Mama's eyes were downcast, entirely resigned to her fate. In place of her clothes, she was dressed in a burlap shift, standard for those being shipped to death. Dulane would never waste precious clothing on his animal's comfort. These poor souls were already dead in his mind.

    Wrists and feet shackled, Mama stood perfectly still as a strange sibla man inspected her, lifting the cloth covering her form and taking down notes on his clipboard. He grabbed hold of her arm and with a black pen, wrote down numbers on her wrist. Her weight. That was all we amounted to in the end. The pounds of our flesh marked in indelible ink.

    My Master was nowhere in sight. Instead, he'd left Everett in charge of the human shipment, no doubt to stop any from daring to resist. None would dare step out of line for fear of his blows. I didn't care. I couldn't let my mother go without saying goodbye.

    "Mama!" I cried out to her in desperation, so angry at myself for not having seen the signs. For having allowed my resentment to get the better of me. But I hadn't understood my mother's coldness. I didn't realize she was trying to put distance between us to make our final separation less painful. All of that would take years to comprehend. In that moment I was a child, alone and afraid, watching the only woman who had ever cared for me being taken away.

    My mother turned her head at the sound of my voice. I could see the fear in her eyes as they flashed to Everett and his hard frown before turning back to me. She was warning me away with that gaze. I didn't heed her. Instead, I ran with all of my might, desperate to reach my mother before anyone might stop me.

By now, the overseer had noticed my presence, as had the butcher and all of the condemned. I felt their eyes watching as I hurtled towards my mother.

    "You, slave!" Everett called out. "Stop where you are. I am warning you."

    But I didn't stop. I ignored his threats, reaching my mother and wrapping my arms around her tightly. Tears streaming down my cheeks.

    "Let go, Alice," Mama said, making no attempt to reach for me. Of course with her shackles, I suppose it might have been impossible to do so. I held her all the tighter.

    "That is enough!"

    The nasty snarl was followed by a grey hand that latched onto my shoulder, pulling me forcefully from my mother and throwing me to the ground. I looked up just in time to see Everett slap Mama hard across the face. She stifled a cry of pain.

    "You and your girl are nothing now," the overseer said with a smirk. He kicked my mother in the stomach so hard that she fell to her knees, the chains she wore clattering noisily. "Fucking human filth always thought you were too good to suffer. And look where you are now. In line for slaughter like all the rest."

    I watched horrified as he spit on my mother. But Mama didn't move. She kept her head bent in submission, swallowing back her tears and pain as he kicked her again. I couldn't just sit there and let him beat her. I had to do somthing! Scrambling up from the ground I'd nearly lunged for him when I felt a strong hand grab my shoulder, pulling me back.

    "No more, Aaron."

    I turned to see it was Lexia who held me now, her expression stern.

    "Leave her be."

    Everett cast the sibla woman a nasty glare, but he stepped away from my mother who managed to gain her feet again. Lexia had seniority among all the staff and everyone knew it. Even Aaron Everett wouldn't attempt to circumvent her command.

    "What is going on here?"

    My blood froze as I recognized Dulane's voice ringing out, cutting through the tension in the air. Lexia quickly pushed me behind her, keeping me from my Master.

    "Was just trying to load the animal's, boss," Everett answered, wiping my mother's blood from his hand. "That one was giving me a hard time." He nodded his head at Mama "Her and her little brat."

    Another cold chill ran through me. The adrenaline that drove me to latch onto my mother so desperately was gone. I was terrified of what Everett and Dulane might do to make me pay for my indiscretion. I'd disobeyed Lexia as well, directly going against the command of two head overseers. Humans might be destroyed for such offense. I'd seen it happen.

    Dulane didn't answer at first, his eyes scanning to my mother, her form covered in rags, her arms and knees scraped and dirty where she'd hit the ground, the blood trickling from her nose.

    "Is this true, Mariana?" Dulane asked, tone hard.

    My mother did not protest Everett's false accusations. She kept her gaze lowered in submission and her voice soft.

    "Please forgive me, Master," she said quietly. "I merely wished to say goodbye to my daughter. I did not intend to cause trouble."

    From my place behind Lexia, I watched Dulane stare at Mama, breath held. This was my fault. She'd done nothing wrong. Guilt and regret overwhelmed me. With one rash act I might have tainted my mother's legacy and condemned myself to death.

    I tried to interpret my Master's blank expression. Was he angry? Or was there a drop of remorse hidden beneath his cold gaze. He was already sending a loyal human to slaughter. Could he do even more to make her suffer?

    "Step forward, Alice," he said after a moment.

    I saw the concern in Lexia's expression at his command, but what could I do? I had no choice but to obey my Master. The kitchen overseer could not protect me. I went to Dulane without hesitation though my heart pounded uncontrollably in my chest as I stood before him. I'd never been in real trouble before but I knew what happened to those who crossed Cedrick Dulane

    "Say goodbye to your mother," he commanded.
   
I obeyed without question, walking to my mother slowly, all too aware of the eyes boring into my skin. The glare of the overseer, the concern radiating from Lexia, the anxiety of the other humans in attendance, temporarily distracted from their own end by the unfolding drama. And Dulane, the one whose gaze I could not parse out. Was this a trap? An act of mercy? It was impossible to tell.

    My mother watched my approach in silence, her face betraying no sign of emotion. Perhaps she'd learned the trick from our Master. My mind, however, was abuzz with fear, grief, anger. Too many emotions to pick out one I might hold onto.

    Reaching my mother, I stood before her awkwardly, trying not to look at her bound hands, at the ragged scraps of clothing that marked her as a condemned creature. I met her eyes in hopes of sending a silent message instead. I wanted to tell her of my regret in shunning her, my gratitude for all she had given me, my sorrow at losing her...

    "Goodbye, Alice," Mama said. The chains on her wrists jangled softly as she managed to reach out and put her hand on my arm. "Take care of yourself. Be obedient and remember all of your blessings. Be the woman I taught you to be."

    Tears slipped from my eyes as reality sunk into to my mind cementing the truth. My mother was gone. I had just lost my only family, though she stood before me still. I wanted to grab her close again, but I could see the decorum Mama was trying to model. She'd often warned me to never show emotional attachment to another in front of our Master. I wouldn't disobey her now. Instead, I did my best to wipe my tears away as I took her hands in mine. "I will miss you, Mama," I said, my voice trembling. "I love you."

    My mother only nodded her head, but in her expression, I saw her love, her care, her fear for my safety. Everything I'd forgotten in my childish revenge of the past weeks.

    "That's enough," Dulane said, interrupting our final moments. "Take them away."

    I turned my head to see the smug smile return to Everett's face as he took the whip from his belt and cracked it smartly on the ground.

    "You all heard your master," he said. "Up the ramp with you!"

    I watched as the butcher opened the trailer of his car and the line of humans, so weighed down by their chains, shuffled forward to the vehicle that would drive them to death. I heard the crack of Everett's whip again and again, mixing with the cries that rang out as it found bits of flesh to sting when his poor victims didn't move quite fast enough. I saw my mother, one of the last in line, walking with an impossible level of poise and dignity as she climbed aboard the trailer. I heard the clattering as the metal doors clanged shut and were locked from the outside, then the sound of the engine starting.

    Dulane remained entirely still during the proceedings, so did I, only moving enough to avoid the death caravan. Lexia had taken my arm again, pulling me to her side and away from the truck, moving my limp disbelieving body.

    I'd seen the tears others shed when their friends and family were beaten or slaughtered. I knew my own pain at the prospect my baby boy would one day soon face the knife. But I'd never witnessed this macabre affair first hand. Everyone knew the slaughterhouses were the worst fate one could find at the end of their lives. Shipped far from home to be crammed in pens with other frightened animals, Passed through an assembly line of death. I couldn't believe my own mother would be forced to such a horrific fate.

    "Lexia," Dulane said as the trailer began to roll away. "Might I ask why Alice is not in the kitchen as she should be?"

    My heart pounded in my chest at the reminder of what I'd done. Without my mother, would I still have protection from the horrific punishment my Master might demand for my transgressions? Thankfully, Mama's goodwill still extended enough to influence our kindly kitchen overseer.

    "A misunderstanding, Sir," Lexia answered. "I'm certain Alice did not realize the offense she might cause in seeing her mother off."

    It was exceedingly generous of her to omit my direct disobedience but unfortunately, Everett was far less forgiving.

    "That little bitch came running at me like a rabid dog," the sour overseer said, his glare honed on me, so clearly looking to take revenge for every punishment I'd managed to avoid thus far in life.

    Dulane looked from Everett to the kitchen head, and then at me. I held my breath, keeping my head down, trying to emulate my mother's submissive reaction to his anger.

    "I will personally ensure the human is properly educated in better behavior for the future," Lexia interjected before Dulane could make a decision as to what he might do to me. "I believe Mr. Everett exaggerates slightly. You know this animal's lineage. The docile, sweet creature from which she was bred. Mariana worked hard to ensure her offspring might take on the tasks she has served in throughout her life and this creature is quite valuable to me. The knowledge and skills she possesses should not be taken for granted. I take full responsibility for any honing that might be required in her training."

    I could see the fury on Everett's face as my savior jumped to my rescue, but Lexia had been with Dulane for a very long time. He relied on her to keep the house slaves in order. My Master gave one more glance at me before turning to Lexia and nodding his head.

    "See to it that she fully understands her lesson," he said. "I do indeed have hopes that this one will be worth the time and resources I have put into rearing her." He stopped, turning his attention directly to me.

    "Know this, human," he said. "Your mother earned my esteem. Do not imagine you might somehow be able to live off of her legacy. If you step out of line again, I will indeed let Everett handle any punishment he deems necessary. Is that understood?"

    It should have been unimaginable that he would speak to me so after what he had just done to the woman who'd supposedly held his favor. I thought of my mother in the scratchy burlap shift and chains, being driven to her death like she was nothing. But rage did not fill me then. I was a slave and had all the mentality of one. Instead of anger, I felt only fear and a driving desire to please.

    "I grateful for your benevolence, Master," I replied, head down in a slight bow, eyes on the polished shoes he wore. "I beg forgiveness for any offense caused in my actions."
   
Dulane grunted a small acknowledgment of my contrition. "Come, Aaron," he said. I have some business to discuss with you."

    The overseer gave me a final glare as Lexia lay her grey hand upon my shoulder.

    I stared at them as they went, in shock from all that had happened in such a short span of time. I was an orphan. My mother was as good as dead. My Master was angry with me and I knew now how much a head overseer wished to see me suffer. I'd never felt so alone.

    Of course, my wide-eyed paralysis could not last. As soon as Dulane and Everett were out of sight, Lexia spun me around to face her and slapped me hard. I tasted the metallic tang of blood on my lips.

    "Do you wish to throw Mariana's sacrifice away so easily?" she demanded, her tone cold.

    Tears welled in my eyes but I did not cry. Even in this moment of desperation, I knew the truth. Without Lexia's aide, I might already be dead.

    "Please forgive me, Ma'am," I said, lowering my head in shame. "I should not have run from you. I give thanks for your mercy."

    I raised my eyes enough to see the true sorrow on her face, though she was masking it well behind anger.

    "Do not think you've escaped punishment," she said. "Your back is entirely free of scars. There are no humans on this estate who maintain that purity. Your mother herself had to be taught in her earlier days. If I were to ignore your misconduct, Everett would be certain to take it upon himself to help you learn."

    "I understand," I managed to say, though my heart beat unsteadily in my chest to imagine what pain she might subject me to.

    Her frown relaxed slightly as I raised my head. I knew she felt sympathy for my plight, even if she wouldn't show it. It was comforting to imagine that my mother's protection might still remain to a degree. But it was also clear I would have to establish myself as valuable if I wished to continue to avoid death.

    The kitchen overseer inflicted fifteen lashes upon my untarnished skin that evening with a thong of tanned cowhide. The offense I'd cause might have garnered as many as fifty or more for another. Each stoke on my back was an explosion of agony, growing worse as the leather came down on already raw skin, but somehow I knew she was doing her best to be gentle. She even ensured that one of the other kitchen staff prepared and applied salve to heal my wounds quickly. I was grateful that there was still one looking out for my wellbeing, if only to keep me for my labor. The painful lines etched in my skin official marked me as an adult, and to survive as an adult on the Dulane estate, I would need all of the luck and protection I could find.