"Age does not diminish the extreme disappointment of having a scoop of ice cream fall from the cone." – Jim Fiebig

■ □ ■ □ ■ □ ■ □

"I have a speech tomorrow, what do I do?"

"Do a rap!"

"Absolutely not."

"C'mon, I'd pay to see that."

"Well, what are your speeches usually about?"

"Global warming and economy issues."

"Wait, really?"

"Hell no, I usually fake sickness and stay home on the day."

"Wait, what do you mean? Do you have a fear of public speaking or something?"

"Mmhm."

"Wait, but you're so–"

"Incredibly handsome and alluring?"

"Excruciatingly obnoxious and loud."

"Wow, thanks."

"..."

"..."

"Did you just hang up?"