All I Want is You - U2

It was the morning of Ethan's big day with Hope. He woke up long before his alarm was set to go off, his mind racing with thoughts of seeing her again. It had only been a day since their night time drive, but Ethan was already anxious to spend more time with her. It was like he just couldn't get enough.

Although he felt a nervous excitement thinking about the day ahead, he also felt a tug on his heart. The guilt he had worked so hard to keep at bay was pressing on him. It tore at him, a bit stronger than he had felt in a while. He knew it had to do with Hope. The last thing Will had done in life was console Ethan over his perceived loss of contact with her. The final moments of his time on Earth were spent trying to cheer him up. It wasn't lost on Ethan that now he had his chance with Hope, but Will was gone.

His heart told him to start opening up to her. His gut told him to let her in, she would understand. But his mind rebelled and forced those feelings aside, reminding him of his role in Will's death, telling him that waiting for Hope all of these years would seem weak. He let his mind overrule the rest of him. He would tell her, he assured himself, eventually. But not yet.

Ethan forced the negative thoughts aside and went back over their last conversation. He loved every second he had been able to spend speaking to her, even if it started out a little strange.

He had texted her yesterday morning that he would be busy all day but would call in the evening after work. Casey had come through with the favor he asked of her and switched shifts, giving him a double work day yesterday but the full day off for his date with Hope.

After all of his plans were made and he was preparing to call her, he realized he hadn't made sure Hope would be available. Real smart, Sherlock. At that point he was willing to take what he could get, even if it wasn't a full day with her.

Ethan lay in bed, remembering the call.

He waited as the phone rang, smiling as he thought of her voice. His daydream was shattered as the other line connected and he heard his mom.

"Hello, son. How are you?"

"Mom? What's going on? Is Hope there?"

"Yes, she's here, but she's laughing too hard to talk."

"At me? What did you tell her!?"

"No, not at you!"

There was a shuffling sound and then, finally, Hope came on the line.

"Hi, sorry, we were watching a movie and I guess it just struck us as really funny. I asked your mom to answer because at the time, I couldn't get any words out, I was laughing so hard."

"Oh, okay. I was confused for a minute, but I get it. So, can you talk now or are you still watching..." He really wanted to talk with her, but didn't want to take her away from his mom. She didn't spend enough time with people as it was.

"No, I don't need to keep watching. Let's talk."

Ethan was relieved.

"So, how was your day, busy?" Hope asked.

"Yup, I worked two shifts today at the restaurant. I switched with a buddy so I could have tomorrow off." Well, Casey was kind of a buddy. And now Ethan's heartrate picked up, praying that Hope was available to come out to spend time with him.

"Oh?" was all she said.

"Yeah" he continued, "and I was wondering if you wanted to come out to SLO for the day." He was nervous she would say no.

"Of course, that would be great!" Ethan had a huge smile. Not only was she available, she seemed really excited about it.

"Good. You can meet me at my place about 10am tomorrow, if that works."

"Works for me"

"Okay, grab a pen and write down some directions. It is close to campus so it only takes about thirty minutes to get here."

Ethan continued to give Hope directions to his apartment. As they finished up, he wanted to see what she had been doing that day.

"So, what were up to today?"

She told him that she had gone back to the hilltop he had taken her to the night before. He was shocked. What would make her want to go back? Was that a good thing?

Then she explained that she had wanted to find a little rock to remember her time there. His heart pounded when he heard that. She wanted to remember him there, talking with her for, really, the first time. It was exciting for him to hear her say that. But he worried she had seen the sunset up there.

"You didn't stay to watch the sunset did you?"

"No, why?"

Should he say it? Why not...

"Because I want to be there when you see it up there for the first time." He said it quietly, worried she would question him more about it. He didn't want to explain because then he would end up confessing about all the years he had spent thinking about her. He wasn't ready for that, yet.

"I would like that." She said equally quietly. And he smiled, feeling better than he had in years.

"So a rock, huh. What kind did you find?"

Hope began to describe the little white rock with a grey streak running through it. She began to open up to him, and he had been inspired. He learned that she had been working through all of her years of bottled up feelings about her parents and their divorce. She said she had gone to the rock jetty and unleashed her rage to the ocean the night she arrived. He was surprised when she told him that the experience that night left her feeling ready for something new.

That led her to tell him about her little rocks. He listened intently as she told him about her negative thoughts about herself, and that broke his heart. She was so amazing and he wanted her to know that about herself, not have negative feelings. But he was glad to hear that she had gathered little stones at the shore which helped her remember the good things she felt about herself.

Although she didn't tell him what those words were exactly, he felt he knew her well enough to know what they might be. He would be sure to tell her, and use these positive words to describe her. He wanted her to feel them, and know that those wonderful things were true about her.

After remembering the great talk they had shared the night before, Ethan got up and planned out their day together. The first thing he did was go to a little craft store nearby and purchase a small velvet bag, perfect for her stones.

When he got back from his errand, he wrote out a note, something to put your stones in, and attached it to a white rose, the same color as their stone, and left it in his truck for her to discover later. He was somewhat nervous about her reaction, wondering if she would be embarrassed to have told him about them. But, he also wanted her to know that he appreciated all that she was going through.

Just before she was set to arrive, Ethan decided to look up movie choices for the afternoon. It would be a warm day and a cool theater after their outdoor activities would be nice. After choosing a comedy and purchasing the tickets online to save time later, there was a knock at the door. Wow, she's here! He had lost track of time.

His heart was racing as he made his way over to the door, he called out "Hang on a sec."

He opened the door and was once again struck by this adorable girl, "Hey, you made it."

"Yeah. So what are we doing today?" She smiled at him.

"Oh no, you're not getting it out of me that easily. You'll just have to wait and see." This was a date, officially, in his mind more so than the drive the other night. Guy-code clearly stated that first official dates were all about mystery.

"I guess so, if you insist." She just shrugged her shoulders. He was glad she seemed to trust him enough that she didn't push the issue any further.

"I do. So, let's get started."

He grabbed her hand, which he was beginning to love doing, closed his door, and made his way down to the truck. Opening the door to help her in, he remarked, "I hope you like it"

Suddenly he felt nervous that she wouldn't like the little bag, the meaning it held. She looked confused for a moment, saying "Like what?" so he simply closed her door and went around to his side of the truck.

When he got in he was beyond happy to see the look on her face. She was...touched. She almost had tears in her eyes. With appreciation in her voice, she said "I love it, thank you. It's so thoughtful"

Wow, what that did to him...was unreal. He had such strong feelings for her it was hard to contain. "I'm glad, and you're welcome"

He glanced over and saw a little white stone with a streak of grey running through it, the very stone she had described finding on the hilltop. "Is that ours?" He asked.

"Yes" she said simply with a smile, and placed the stone in the little bag. Could his heart break with joy, because it felt like it could burst at any minute.

Enough of the sappy stuff, he thought to himself. He had plans to show her around campus that morning. Ethan wanted her to know him, his life there in SLO. He was going to take her to places that meant something to him, and the campus was part of his life as well as his future. Secretly he was hoping she loved it and would want to transfer there.

As he started to drive, he let her in on where they were headed. "First stop, I want you to see something about me. So I wanted to show you around campus a bit."

Hope smiled at him, "Oh, that's great! I would love to see the campus. The idea of college is a little overwhelming so maybe this will calm my nerves as well."

He figured that she would be apprehensive about starting a new school. "I know what you mean. When I started freshman year I went full time, it was a lot to get used to. When I decided to move here last year, I had to work full time to pay bills so I cut back to two classes per quarter." Ethan purposely left out the details surrounding his decision to move, getting away from his memories of Will. He wasn't ready to share that with her, and was actually worried he would never be ready.

"It'll take longer for me to graduate and I can't take any quarters off, which means no summer break, but I'm happier this way." At least that part was true, he was happier keeping busy. It wasn't until Hope came back that he felt locked in to his schedule, and actually started resenting it.

"I'm glad you're happy. I just hope I can figure it out soon. I still don't know what classes to take." Hope seemed stressed as she said this. He felt bad, but wanted to reassure her.

"Don't worry, I have a feeling you'll do just fine." He winked.

The next hour or so was spent touring the campus. Hope seemed excited to see it and made positive comments all along the way. Ethan was encouraged, maybe she would want to transfer to Cal Poly. He didn't want to bring it up though. He was still struggling to take things slow and remember that he was further along in whatever they were feeling than she was.

As they completed the campus tour, Ethan wanted to take her to get lunch at his favorite taco place. He wasn't sure Hope would be up for it, even though she had said she liked Mexican food. However, after he brought up his idea, she was all for it.

The little store front was just a window. It didn't even have outdoor seating, strictly take-out. They grabbed their order and took it with them to his truck. Ethan already knew the exact spot they would take their lunch, a small enclosed garden at the Mission. It was conveniently located near Novo, the restaurant he worked at, as well as a little stream he planned to take Hope to after lunch.

When they arrived in the downtown, they walked the block and a half from their parking spot to the Mission, talking about their surroundings. Hope had been down there before a few times but wasn't too familiar with the area. As they made their way around the iron sculpture of a California brown bear catching a fish which was part of a fountain by the Mission, Ethan noticed Hope admiring the scene. He took her up a few steps to the garden and found a bench awaiting them. It was situated just under a tree, providing the right amount of shade.

"This is really beautiful." Hope commented.

"I thought this would make a good picnic spot, plus it's got some shade." Ethan looked over toward the historic church and wondered, "Do you want to go through the Mission when we're done?"

"Sure, I love historical places, and museums." She responded while smiling. He liked that about her, a love of learning.

"Okay, good. That's what we'll do." He hadn't planned to tour the Mission and it's museum, but as long as they were there and had the time, they might as well. He also hadn't planned on making the confession about his feelings for her, but something told him he would be doing that sooner that he realized.

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Authors notes

Ahhh, the date in SLO. Once again Ethan is totally overwhelmed by his feelings for Hope. He does do a pretty good job of keeping it together. The next chapter will include their conversation by the stream, if you were wondering where that went. I also realize that the timelines of chapters don't match up (Ethan's chapters overlap with Hope's). It's just kind of the way they worked out when I wrote them, but all of the main elements will still be included.

Notes on chapter title - all I want is you

Doesn't that say it all? All Ethan wants is Hope. And he's doing everything in his power to make it happen. The week Hope returns is pretty much a roller coaster for him, not unlike the entire previous year had been. The song is his heart for her, the place he's kept her all along. So, here is a live version of U2's classic...

[There should be a GIF or video here. Update the app now to see it.]