P R O L O G U E

Jonah dos Santos Cavalcanti had imagined this moment a thousand times. Him. Him and her. Bones breaking. Darkness swallowing them whole. 

"Are you ready?" he asked.

Wind blew across the other skyscrapers surrounding them in a low hum—a fitting sound for the execution of their fate. Her hair whipped all around her. Something wild thrummed in his veins.

"Are you ready?" he asked again.

Her legs shook. "Are you?"

She gave him a familiar stare, hypnotic even through overgrown bangs, like she was tearing him apart. Like she was trying to figure him out, even now.

"Look," he said. "We'll still be together. Remember what I said?"

She shrugged.

"Don't tell me you've changed your mind."

Her freckled cheeks turned red.

He clenched his hands into fists, tempted for a split-second to push her off the building himself. "You know you'll have nothing left when I'm gone."

She was all trembling shoulders, watery brown eyes filled with a lethal kind of longing. He got so lost in her, staring at her, piecing together what steps fate had taken to put her in his path.

"Together or never," she finally whispered. Their mantra, what they said instead of goodbye. "Juntos o nunca."

He let out a long breath—laughed, even—and smiled for the last time. He thought to reach for her hand only to realize it already clutched his, her pulse fast as she squeezed the life out of him.

"Juntos ou nunca," he said.

The wind howled. Lightning flashed in the distant sky.

They were fifteen years old, and this was how they ran away.

  ●   ●   ● 

a torre: the tower

       ➼ 16th card in the major arcana of tarot 

       ➼ represents ♥ disaster, upheaval, & revelation ♥

a/n: so... are you ready?

if you're reading this, thank you. if you're one of the OG readers from 2016-2017, thank you 🙏 knowing that some of you have been waiting for years has given me the motivation i needed to trudge through sleepless nights and weeks spent writing, revising, and re-writing myself into circles. 

this is THE book of my mutilated little heart. if you didn't already know, i was in the process of trying to get it published. i had an agent who sent it off to editors at different imprints (like, people at harper collins literally read THIS book omg 😭), which was a really cool experience. some editors loved it but passed on it because they didn't think they could sell a book with a suicide pact as part of the plot 😬 some editors just didn't resonate with the story-telling. some gave me helpful feedback which i used to re-write (and re-write, and re-write again). 

but no matter how much i do that, i can't change the fact these characters have dealt with suicide. their newfound hope comes from dark, twisted places. and if you're up to read about that—along with a healthy dose of dark humor, parody, and absurdity—stay tuned for the next update ♥ 

love, 

destacia 

song for this chapter:

➼ ❝ você não sabe quantas horas eu passei olhando pra você ❞ by gorduratrans