When Pepper finds OJ, he is sitting by the pool and reading a dumb book, as usual. She stomps over him and stands deliberately, so her shadow falls on him.

She is above him, as always.

It takes him a few seconds to realize that ignoring her would never work. He sighs and lowers his book. "Er, hi? Do you mind moving? I can't read with you here."

"We need to, like, talk."

"Okay... is right here fine, or would you rather go somewhere private?"

Pepper taps herself in thought. The pool is, at the moment, surrounded by a lot of people. The Cherries are mischievously eyeing Cheesy (who's lounging on an inflatable raft), and Pickle and Tissues are having a onesided conversation in the hot tub. Test Tube is following Knife around, explaining something nerdy (and, like, completely boring). Pepper doesn't know nor care what they might be talking about, but Tissues isn't sneezing at least. (She doesn't really care, as long as he isn't sneezing. If Salt were there, Pepper would throw Tissues out. Her heart melts at the thought of protecting her girlfriend...)

"Here is fine," Pepper replies, then sits at the foot of his chair. "I just need to, like, borrow something."

"What," he closed his book, "do you need?"

"Well... it's nothing too big..." Pepper deliberates. "Just a million dollars."

"What?! Why?"

"I, like, need to buy something."

OJ raises an eyebrow. "I got that. What do you need to buy?"

"Nosy, much?"

OJ glares. "If I lend you money, I have the right to know where it's going. For all I know, you could be buying drugs."

'Maybe he has a point. Even if he's, like, stupid and ugly.' Pepper crosses her arms. "It's an engagement ring."

OJ stares at her in shock for a moment, then laughs, dumbfounded. "What?"

"You heard me. Unless you don't know what that means?" Pepper

"But you aren't even dating anyone."

"You don't know anything."

"Who are you dating?"

Pepper sings, "It's time for a guessing game~"

"Ugh. Uhhhh... Bomb?" Pepper shakes her head at OJ's foolish guess. "Nickel? No wait, don't tell me... Pickle?"

"Gamers aren't my type."

"..Salt?"

"Ding ding ding! You deserve a prize. But I don't feel like getting one for you..."

OJ looks alarmed. "You can't be serious. Salt confessed to me literally five hours ago. You were there!"

Pepper narrows her eyes. "I don't like your tone. But listen here, Juicy, I know what I, like, want. There's no reason to play games and not get married ASAP."

"Let's back this up," he says. "Let's pretend that marrying someone after one day isn't completely mental. If I lent you the money, how would you repay me? Neither of you works or- even does chores, come to think of it."

"Well, we were thinking of, like, getting people to pay us for just being celebrities. That worked out really well for-"

"You're not fan favorites," he interrupts.

"Ugh! Well, I don't care. You can make the money back. Or you can, like, give it to us as a wedding gift, or whatever."

OJ rolls his eyes. "I don't even have a million dollars. None of you guys are paying to stay here, so our only revenue is from media odds and ends, which ALL goes towards the hotel's upkeep. I don't have the money."

"I'm losing my patience..."

"Fine. Instead of giving you all of the many reasons that I shouldn't give you the money," OJ says, "I'll just give you one. You tripped me, just last week. Oh, I didn't see it at the time because I died from that, but I know it was you. My pettiness is plenty to keep me from giving you my charity."

He doesn't sound sorry at all, and that irritates Pepper. She raises a fist. "I don't know what you're, like, complaining about, but I can trip you now!"

Paper ran between them. "Whoa, calm down! Pepper, can you honestly expect someone to give you a million dollars, no questions asked?"

"Nobody asked you."

"You're nothing but rude to OJ, all the time! If anything, you owe him a million dollars," Paper goes on, annoyingly.

"Who even are you?"

"I'm someone who wants things to be fair," Paper responds, "because I don't think you're being very fair to OJ. He has the right to refuse."

"You're wrong. You're nobody but someone who doesn't support love." She cups her hands like a megaphone and yells, "Paper and OJ hate true love! Throw things at them!"

Nobody looks particularly incensed or reaches for something to throw. In fact, some of them are looking at her funny.

But Salt walks in the front door right then! Pepper rushes to her and clings to her arm. "Hello, bae. How was your nap?"

Salt shrugs her off. "It was totally weird. I woke up and got rained on."

"I can't believe there was an afternoon shower at this time of year," Pepper says, "talk about unfair."

"I know!"

"I have a much better shower in mind for you, though."

"Ooh, like, what is it?"

Pepper sings, "A bridal showerrrr~", hugging Salt close. "Would you, like, totally marry me?"

Salt laughs lightly. "Why'd you say that? We're already married, bae..."

"Because I love you and what we have is real." Pepper clings even tighter.

The tone is more nervous than Pepper is used to, so her bright smile fades as Salt pushes her away. "Like, are you joking?

"Do I sound like I'm joking?" Pepper challenges.

"...We just got together earlier today," Salt comments, then bites her lip. "Don't you think we should talk about this a little longer...?"

"No," Pepper replies. "I already know what I want, so I think we should become wives today."

"No, we shouldn't."

Something inside Pepper cracks. "...W-what do you MEAN 'no?'"

"Sorry, Pepper, I... just can't do this today."

Tears spring to Pepper's eyes; black edges into her vision as her entire world comes crashing down.

"Then I better get going," she says, beginning to charge away. Besides the sound of Pepper running, you could hear a pin drop in there for a long moment.

"Wow, that's an argument for the seasons." Cheesy slapped his knee. "Geddit? Because they're seasoning?"

Someone knocked him into the pool.

X🧂X

Just when Pepper's getting to the Good Part of her crying session, where you start to get too tired to feel, there's a knock at the door. Pepper dramatically croaks, "Nobody's home, like... go away forever."

"I live here, too. Peppy, you can't do this to me."

It's Salt's voice. She briefly considers leaving her there, but opts to drag herself out of bed and crawl to the door.

When she faces her friend, Salt's brow is furrowed in worry. "You're too pretty to be on the floor like one of those short freaks."

"Ugh..." Pepper can't meet her gaze as she stands up, dusting herself off. "See, I listened to you! Like I always do!"

"You literally can't be mad at me for this. Sometimes I'm not the best friend, but today isn't one of those days! I'm just not ready for marriage in general right now."

"That's not what you said to OJ."

"Mmm, yeah, but... I dunno, maybe you shouldn't take love so seriously. If you let it consume you, it'll just hurt you... Trust me, I'd know." Salt's arm snakes around her. "And I don't want to see you hurt."

Salt's arm snakes around her. Pepper's heart-rate ticks up at the contact, but she struggles to respond for entirely different reasons. "B-but I've always wanted this. I-I do so much to make you happy..."

"I know, but you have to do stuff to make you happy, too. WITHOUT a relationship with someone else getting in the way." Salt gingerly wipes some of Pepper's tears away. "You're an amazing friend, but when was the last time you picked what song we danced to?"

Pepper opens her mouth, but she can't remember the last time they listened to her punk music and not Salt's bright pop.

"You have to give me a chance to be a good friend, and girlfriend, which means I get what I want sometimes, but-"

"Wait, you aren't dumping me?"

Salt exclaims, "No! Like.... I just want to take things one day at a time. We can get married when the time is right for both of us."

"Oh." Relief washes over her like a tide over seashells. She hugs Salt close. "Thank God..."

"I can't believe you thought that. If anything, I want the exact opposite, you know?" Salt holds Pepper back. "I want to make you happy sometimes and be a good girlfriend. You don't need to always do what I want to be fun to hang out with..."

"Are you sure?"

Salt laughs, lightly putting her hand on one of Pepper's cheeks. "Go wash yourself up, girlfrieeeend. You're way too pretty to have tears on your face."

Salt plants a kiss on Pepper's forehead. Pepper briefly snuggles up to her and sighs with relief. "In a minute," she mumbled into her friend.

X🧂X

"Okay, Pepper. It's just a day. Nothing that special about it."

She takes a deep breath.

It's a blank-faced lie, and she knows it. She's very familiar with those. ...But today's a different day.

Today's a day for me to be MYSELF. To listen to the music I like, to help Salt decide on our next date, maybe to cook something...'

Pepper finishes splashing her face with water and dries it with a soft towel.

It's so foreign to think that way after so long. But she may as well give it a try...

'Though, it could wait until later.'

She leaves the Hotel OJ restroom and leaps into Salt's arms as if she'd never left.