Caleb

I lost my mother, survived my father, survived my brothers, but didn’t wanna have to survive her.

I didn’t wanna have to think about the next twenty-four hours of my life, and how sometime before sunrise I’d have to see her again. I didn’t wanna see her again, ‘cause learning how to hate somebody you’ve spent five years falling in love with was a hell of a lot easier from far away.

Georgia hadn’t said a word to me since we’d left Hailey at the police station, just kept her eyes glued to the road like she hadn’t walked into the middle of an ugly fight.

Dean got it right the first time with her, he found a good woman, a faithful woman, a woman who knew when to talk and when to let the quiet do the talking.

Twenty-four hours ago I thought I’d found the same thing--the kinda girl worth keeping, maybe even the kinda girl worth giving a ring to. Good thing I didn’t, ‘cause handing over my heart to somebody who didn’t want it would’ve been crazy and stupid.

But maybe that's what I'd always been.

It took everything I had back in the parking lot to hold my shit together in front of Hailey. She’d stepped between me and that truck the same way she’d stepped between me and her father the night he buried bullets into the both of us.

I knew who she was that night. I knew what she stood for. She would’ve stood by me even if it cost her everything. That was the girl I’d pushed myself through prison to get back to.

But even after all the bullshit she’d said to me tonight, I swore I saw the old her for a split second when she tried to stop me from putting my hand through a headlight.  Maybe somewhere underneath whatever Sawyer did to her, the girl I wanted to believe in was still there.

Or maybe she wasn’t—‘cause that girl wouldn’t have screwed around with someone else.

Liam, Cillian, and Marcus were probably splitting their sides up in heaven over this. If they were still around, I’d never hear the end of it. They tried to get me to listen, but I never listened, and the most I had to show for it was a broken hand and a dumbstruck heart.

Georgia pulled into the ER parking lot, switched off the car engine, and sat staring at the steering wheel trying to figure out what to say. She always knew what to say. She always knew how to fix things whenever me and Hailey couldn’t figure ourselves out.

But tonight she was searching for answers, and if she had to look, there probably weren’t any.

            “I don’t know what happened and I’m not gonna make you tell me, but I’m not lettin’ you out of this car until you deal with it, Caleb. You’re not my son, you’re not my grandson, but you’re the closest damn thing I’ve got, and I won’t think any less of you if you’re a little less than the man you want to be right now.”

I didn’t even get halfway through trying to thank her before the hard ache pulling at my throat nearly choked me into doing the one thing I’d didn’t want to do.

I clamped my mouth shut when the jagged pieces Hailey’d made in me threatened to tear their way out. Maybe this was why she left. Maybe she hated that I’d gone soft so many times that she couldn’t see the man in me anymore.  

But she’d made me soft.

She made me think breaking down didn’t always make you weak. But it had, enough for her to leave me over it. So I wasn’t gonna fall apart anymore. Not in front of anybody. Not even Georgia.

I pulled open the car door with a broken hand and the pain blindsided me so bad I nearly fell out of the truck. Georgia yelled at me to stop but I kept walking towards the red and white emergency lights without her. I needed time without her.

The hospital signs blurred out of focus, so I dragged my good hand across my eyes ‘til I could see straight. I wasn’t gonna cry here. I wasn’t gonna cry again.

Numb or not, I'd do my Dad proud.

                                                                  ***

The emergency room was dead quiet, so much so that the nurse at the front desk nearly jumped out of her seat when she saw me. I shoved my hand in front of her hoping she’d call over a doctor but instead she sat me down with a clipboard and a bunch of questions. I didn’t want to deal with anymore goddamn questions tonight.

            “Well, look what they let out of prison.”

The same slicked-tongued son-of-a-bitch who sent me over the edge earlier slithered out of the double doors looking twice as ugly. If my right hand hadn’t been shot to hell I’d finish what I’d started without thinking twice about it.

              “Keep walking, Sawyer,” I said.

He stopped in front of my chair and stared down at me over the bruised bridge of his nose. He had to have a lot of balls and no brains to try to talk himself into two fights in one night.

            “She tell you the truth yet? Looks like it,” he said.

I was on my feet and in his face before he could blink. He talked a whole lotta trash for somebody who didn’t have the grit to back it up. Nothing would’ve made me feel better then busting apart all those pretty little stitches in his face a thread at a time.

            “You wanna say that again, Sawyer?”

He tilted his head back like the coward he was and shut his eyes like he’d memorized what my fist felt like. Good.

If there was one thing I hated it was guys like him, whisperers, the kind of men who get into your head so deep a fight won’t fix the problems they leave you with.

As much as I wanted to knock the skin off Sawyer, it wouldn’t fix the fact that he’d been right about Hailey.

She chose him and she chose wrong.

I’d let her find out what kind of man he was on her own. I might’ve been a lot things, crazy, stupid, angry, but I sure as hell wasn’t blind.

I cocked my arm back and tightened the tension in my fist when a butterball of a man came running over to stop me from killing Sawyer. The guy was about as tall as he was wide, had a patch of thin black hair slicked back over his head, and dressed like he had more money than half of Midland.

            “Sawyer, you better back off from that boy you hear me?”

Some kind of fear flashed across Sawyer’s face before he stepped down. He shuffled a few steps back, looking about as guilty as a dog who’d pissed in front of his owner.

I used to look like that in front of my Dad and Liam—sad, small, and scared of everything. If there was one good thing about being alone now, it was knowing I didn’t have anybody left to be afraid of.

            “Yes, sir,” Sawyer said.

           “I’m sorry about that young man, my son doesn’t know when to stop. I’m Hal, Hal Hughes. And you are?”

He extended a hand like he was meeting one of his son’s friends. If he’d known what I done to his son he’d probably take back the salesman smile on his face.

            “Caleb. Caleb Donoghue. I’m the guy responsible for your hospital bills tonight. I’m sorry, sir. Sawyer and I had a—“

            “He’s the son-of-a-bitch who hit me, Dad!”

            “Shut up and go home, Sawyer. Half of my staff  saw you start that fight, so don't stand there and lie to me. Get on your way before I have to apologize for something else you do.”

Sawyer didn’t argue, just glared at me with two black eyes and spat in my direction before storming out to the parking lot. I didn’t know whether to thank Hal or be wary of him but I walked over to the front desk, turned in my clipboard, and sat back down without saying another word.

It took Hal about a minute and a half to decide whether or not he wanted to sit next to me. As friendly as he was, I didn’t feel too much like talking to him.

            “Did you get her back?” He asked after a long quiet. Hal may not have looked anything like his son, but he sure as hell had the same knack for nosing his way into other people’s business.

            “Excuse me?”

            “I’m sorry to pry. I got a few calls tonight telling me Sawyer got into it with you over a girl. I'm not suprised, he takes after his mother when it comes to respecting relationships.”

            “She cheat on you?” I asked.

Hal snapped his head in my direction like I’d slapped him. If he was gonna start in on me with hard questions, he should’ve been ready to get em’ right back.

            “That’s why she’s my ex-wife, son. You’re a straight shooter, I respect that.”

            “I wish my girl did too.”

            “Is she the reason your hand’s like that?”

I’d been so busy thinking of ways to maul Sawyer I damn near forgot about my hand. The throbbing started up again the second I looked at it. If I ever ended up seeing a doctor I was gonna need twice the stitches Sawyer had. I hadn’t even thought about work on Monday, and at this rate I’d lose my job. Goddamn it, Hailey.

            “Yes, sir,” I said.

            “Does my son have anything to do with her?”

            “Can we talk about something else?”

Hal reached over and slapped his hand on my shoulder. If I’d had the energy I would’ve shrugged him off, but I was too beat down by the day to care. He didn’t seem like a bad guy, he just had a bastard of a kid.

            “I’m sorry, son. I can talk to him about it, but that boy hasn’t listened to me a day in his life. I’ll try for ya’ though. God knows, when my marriage fell apart I wished somebody would’ve tried for me.”

            “Did you love her? Your wife?” I asked.

            “More than breathin’.”

            “Did you fight for her?”

He ran a hand through his hair and stared off at nothing like he was watching his love life play out in his head. When things were good with Hailey, I used to do that all the time.

She always laughed at me for it, ‘cause I’d get so far into thinking about what the rest of my life with her would look like, I’d lose myself a little bit.

I wished I’d seen Sawyer coming in those daydreams. At least then, I wouldn’t have set myself up for the kind of happiness life never planned on delivering.

            “I should’ve, but I left her. I still don’t know if it was the right thing to do, but if   you have a choice with this girl, get her back. I love my son, but he ain’t in any position to be with anybody right now. The kid doesn’t know the first thing about love.”

I liked Hal. I didn’t know if ten minutes was enough time to like somebody, but he was the only person around I could talk to about all this. I hadn’t had a man-to-man conversation in years, and God knows I was starved for it.

            “Mr. Evans? Mr. Evans?”

A nurse popped out from the ER and stood there calling me by the wrong name. A dead name. One I needed to stay buried if I wanted to stay alive.

            “There’s nobody here by that name, ma’am,” I said, trying to hold it together front of Hal.

            “I’m sorry sir but this is what you wrote on your paperwork.”

            “That’s a mistake. I’m Donoghue. Caleb Donoghue.”

            “Sorry about that, Mr. Donoghue we can take you back now."

Hal helped me up and flashed the same thousand dollar smile he had earlier.

            “It was nice meetin’ you, kid. Here’s my card. If you’re up drinks sometime we can continue our conversation when we're both a little less sober.”

            “I’m all for it. Actually, are you free later? I may take you up on that drink. I need it tonight.”

He flashed a sympathy smile, the kind I usually couldn’t stand, but I let it slide ‘cause it felt like he understood me.

            “Alright. I’ll stick around till they let you out. There’s a good couple bars in this neck of the woods. I’ll give you a ride over if you need one.”

Georgia was gonna hate this. She’d probably slap and tell me to go home, work things out, and try fix a relationship I didn’t feel like fixing. There wasn’t a quick fix for Hailey, but there was a quick fix for pain and Hal was the only one offering. I wasn’t gonna turn that down tonight.

            “Thanks, Hal.”

            “Don’t worry about it, Evans.”

            “It’s Donoghue. Not Evans. It’s never been Evans.”

            “Sorry, kid. Evans just had nice a ring to it. See you when you get out.”

He’d forget my name. He had to. With a couple drinks in him he’d forget he even called me that.

Caleb Evans was dead.

Mitch put a bullet six inches from his heart.

His daughter broke it.