Hours of silence weren't doing Emilee any good. During the initial shock, her isolation hadn't mattered because she'd been incapable of producing a coherent thought. She'd stared at the wall while a black hole had consumed her mind. Sometimes she'd hoped that if she dissociated enough, she'd escape to another world in which Lavia was as sweet as she'd pretended to be.

After a week of that, anger had arrived. That time had mostly been spent with the other Eseterrians to try to distract herself. The rest of the time she spent cursing Lavia and hoping she suffered.

Her anger hadn't only been directed towards her manipulator. When she'd had to entertain again, she'd told the Chèr to uninvite Ela. Emilee knew she shouldn't shoot the messenger, but she couldn't help but blame her sister. Without her mingling, Lavia would have never gone so far as attempted murder. They could have still been happy. Deep down Emilee knew that wasn't something to dream of. Lavia hadn't loved her, that much was clear. Aside from all her lying and manipulation, she'd also cheated on Emilee. A few questions to the right people had made that clear enough. So when she set off on the pilgrimage, she grew depressed.

It drove her mad that people had known. Medea had known, Ela had known, plenty of the people around the palace had known, but nobody had come straight out and told her until she'd already fallen deeply in love. Ela had warned her many a time about seemimg too naive. Now she feared that after the whole palace had witnessed how gullible she was, they'd take their shot at deceiving the most trusting Eseterrian. So she found herself trusting no-one. She even watched the crowd of pilgrims with wary eyes. It wasn't a stretch that one of them might fancy life in the palace.

Emilee found she hated the pilgrimage. The walking was tiring, her stomach always felt empty, she always felt watched, she was lonely and her thoughts had free reign. She starting blaming herself for what had happened, thinking of herself as a foolish child. For hours on end her mind twisted thoughts into daggers and stabbed her. She couldn't help but wonder whether this was how Arcane had felt after being stabbed.

The one part of the pilgrim Emi appreciated to some extent were the evenings. She could sit together with her fellow Eseterrians and listen to Merari whine about how achey she was while Medea reminded her she'd warned her about taking those shoes. The bickering was harmless and distracting.

Most times the owner of the house they were in joined them. After the Leere came a wealthy man who claimed to be a descendent of the orange pilgrim-which nobody believed. While he wasn't exactly trustworthy, he threw them a feast so Merari and Arcane found him agreeable.

The next two stops had been various noblemen's empty holiday homes, then they'd reached another religious institution. A young member of the order sat down with them and recounted some of the myths that had supposedly taken place nearby. Supposedly this was where Gadeden forgotten to keep time going one day, so everyone had been trapped for a few hours before they'd suddenly found three hours had passed. Toutelé had created an element shrine—that meant there was a spot at which it was breezy, there was a river and there was a tree that had been set on fire in the past but hadn't burn down. Toutelé did like setting fire to trees, that much had become clear in her myths. Supposedly Sorita had also possessed one of the order members once and attempted to convince them to murder a local thief in an attempt to test whether they were true Esprians. She hadn't succeeded.

Emilee couldn't go on like this. She barely slept or she couldn't wake up, leaving her exhausted everyday. She couldn't think straight and was a nervous wreck. She wondered how other Eseterrians had managed in the past. She wondered how the others weren't cracking under pressure. Even Arcane seemed to be handling herself with great grace. Emilee couldn't help but envy her and hate her for it, which in turn made her despise herself.

One night when their host was trying to impress them with his religious knowledge, the five spirits poem came up. Emilee froze. After all that had happened with Lavia, she'd forgotten all about the copy of the poem she found.

That evening, she knocked on the Chèr's door. She needed a distraction desperately and the potential sixth spirit was the perfect candidate.

The Chèr was sat scribbling away. Upon approaching him, she realised it was sheet music.

'You compose?' She couldn't help but be impressed.

'Well... I guess so.' He shrugged awkwardly, hiding it in a book. Unlike the others, he'd brought more stuff with him. He'd pointed out that tradition only dictated rules for the Eseterrians and he still had work to do.

'You should let Arcane perform one sometime,' Emilee suggested.

The Chèr looked a tad embarrassed. 'Yeah, uh... maybe I'll ask her.' He quickly recomposed himself. 'To what do I owe this pleasure?'

'I was wondering if you'd ever looked at the poem I put in your office. The five spirits, or rather six spirits one...'

He rubbed his right temple. 'I did. I must say, the whole book was... an experience to read.'

'Is there anything to it?'

'I don't know. It's no secret that even when based off reality, religion is largely the creation of the people. A lot of rules, customs and myths are not completely loyal to their origin. Many stories were plucked and trimmed until they had a nice moral or presented the spirits a certain way, even though in reality the spirits often act without reason.'

'How do you know that?'

He shrugged. 'You can piece together a lot when you understand psychology and politics. Not to mention, there are books of myths that were removed from our religious canon.'

It made sense, she supposed. The collection of religious literature in the library had been vast and had contained more than could possibly fit in the Libtoria and Libclara. It seemed ridiculous to assume all of it would just be retellings of the same few stories.

'So... You don't know.'

'It's easy to assume one young priest's imagination ran wild and he convinced himself a sixth spirit existed. But another alternative is that a sixth spirit does exist but was removed from the knowledge of the public. People don't exactly take well to destruction deities and perceive them as harbingers of doom.'

'True... Her verse wasn't exactly joyous... Still, if a spirit had once been worshipped, wouldn't there be more evidence?'

'Well, I'm hoping the pilgrimage will provide answers, but there is some evidence that would suggest the existence of a sixth spirit. Firstly, the original tale of the pilgrimage says that a cloud of colour arose from each pilgrim's blood. Commonly it's assumed that because the purple pilgrim died, none rose from her, but if she died she'd have the most blood of all. Secondly, the spirits are known as creators. Goece, for example, can create and manipulate matter and Toutelé can summon and manipulate the elements. Yet in our every day life, we see so many things destroyed. Why shouldn't a spirit carry that responsibility?'

Emilee thought for a moment, then asked, 'Do you think she could have something to do with the death of the Eseterrians?'

He looked surprised. 'I suppose so... I didn't know you were trying to solve that mystery.'

'I wasn't but since a potential clue just landed in my hands... In... Lavia's hands...' The sadness returned when she remembered how they'd found it. Lavia must have picked the lock. Why hadn't Emilee questioned it more at the time?

The Chèr gave her a sympathetic look. 'I'm sorry about what happened. I should have been paying more attention to what was going on...'

'It's not your job to look out for stupid girls.'

'You're not stupid,' he reassured her. 'Scepticism was just something you hadn't had to learn yet. I'm glad if you had led such a happy life until now.'

'Ela isn't gullible and we had the same life.'

Emilee didn't let him give her anymore undeserved words of comfort. She had made huge mistakes and didn't deserve any sympathy.

She returned to her room, untying her dressing gown. She knew it was impossible, but she could still smell Lavia on her nightdress. Emilee controlled her breathing. It was hard in this dark foreign room. She could just make out Kaya's silhouette im fromt of the opposite wall.

The duvet was stiff and the mattress hard. The unpleasant resulting sensations helped ground her, but only for so long before the tears came. The next morning, Emilee couldn't say whether she'd stopped before falling asleep or not.

♤ ♤ ♤

Half their journey was done. They celebrated that evening, though they were too exhausted to do it with great enthusiasm. To everyone's surprise, they felt more attached to the spirits than ever, even if it was through annoyance.

'I keep thinking I see burning trees. What's up with that?' bemoaned Kaya.

'Half the trees here have been set on fire by locals in the past and have been credited to Toutelé. She saw it as encouragement and set fire to more trees, so it's not uncommon for her Eseterrians to recognise those trees,' explained the Chèr.

'Does she... Do that a lot?'

'Yes,' said Medea. 'It's kind of her thing. That and natural disasters. Well, those that are based around elements.'

'I've been getting flashes of the future and the past,' admitted Arcane. 'I think I might have seen the original pilgrims but... There were so many more people.'

'They had supporters,' said the Chèr.

Each of them had their complaints. Sabrina claimed feel more in touch with the ground and her surroundings, Merari ranted abouy Sorita singing karaoke in her head. Emilee had found each of the Eseterrians had a faint glow as well as the path ahead. Funnily enough, the Chèr had a bit of a shadow around him so that it matched his dark outfit.

In the course of the evening, Emilee couldn't help but notice how chirpy Arcane was. In all fairness, she hadn't had to walk all this way, instead being transported in a carriage, but considering how soul-destroying her predicament had originally been, it surprised Emilee that she was so happy.

When the first people went to bed, Emilee scooched to the edge of the cream sofa so that she was closer to Arcane. The brunette eyes widened slightly in surprise.

'I'm glad to see you so at ease... You deserve to be happy.'

Arcane flushed slightly. 'Well... I'm lucky to have good friends that know what I need.'

'I suppose you've got a skill for finding decent people...'

'More like they find me...' Arcane voice grew dazy. She soon snapped out of it. 'Look, I know we've never really talked much and when we have, I haven't exactly been a friend to you but... I'm sorry about what happened with Lavia. I know it sucks and I can't believe Medea didn't tell you and you definitely shouldn't beat yourself up about it. Blaming yourself is the easy thing to do and it's what toxic people thrive on. Lavia would love nothing more than to see you caught in a pit of self-losthing, so don't give her the satisfaction, as hard as it may be.'

Emilee shook her head. 'I'm not strong like you. I don't know how... After all that happened, you are so brave and content. I...'

'I know you're strong. You were one of the three people who got me to where I am now. I think it's my turn to give some of that back.' Arcane smiled shyly. 'Emilee Sato, you are a lovely person and don't ever change and you deserve to be happy. There's a reason Ellux chose you to be her Eseterrian; you're a light in this world.'

To her embarrassment, Emilee's eyes grew glassy with emotion. Arcane looked kind of uncomfortable too. It was sad to think one of the people who cared about her the least had been the kindest to her. While Lavia had gone on about her being too sweet, it had all been an act, but here, Emilee could tell it was genuine.

'Thank you.'

'Look, somebody needed to say it, as overly dranatic as it was. It may sound like a kind lie but every word was true.'

A tear rolled down Emilee's cheek, but for once it was out of happiness.

'I can't tell you how to get over an ex because I've never been in that situation and even if I had, you really hit the jackpot. But I can tell you to just know that you're better off without her and you're not responsible for the screwed up things people do.'

'Can I hug you?'

'I'd rather not but if it makes you feel better, I guess so?'

Emilee abstained from doing so and just smiled. It wasn't like Arcane's words could immediately mend all that had been broken. That would take time, a lot of it. But her encouragement gave her the nudge in the right direction. It was as if she'd been lost in a dark forest and a branch happened to point towards the right path.

It would be a while before Emilee could trust anyone new again and it would be a while before she could face her twin, but that didn't mean she would be alone. She would have her fellow Eseterrians at her side, along with the Chèr. That sounded like a good place to be in.

♤ ♤ ♤

A/N: Here it is, the last Emilee chapter in this book. I hope you guys can forgive me for what I put her through, but I think this is a decent ending for her.

Any feedback on how I handled her character and/or character arc?

Also, since we're getting close to the big reveal, any theories as to who killed the Eseterrians? I won't respond but I'd love to hear them.

Last but not least, thank you for 2k reads!