This Oc belongs to DawnfireJayripple

Name: Smokewhisper
Ooh. I don't see Smoke and whisper too often, and it flows nice

Past names: Smokekit, Smokepaw
Oookay

Name reason: Smoke for her dark grey pelt, and whisper for her ability to blend in and stay quiet while stalking prey
The reason for "whisper" is unique in my opinion, because it's usually for a soft-spoken cat or something like that.

Appearance: Smokewhisper is a massive muscular dark grey Maine coon she-cat with dull forest green eyes, very sharp claws and a long sweeping tail. Her fur is smooth and silky like her voice and she has a lighter smokey grey gradient on her chest and muzzle. She has scars on her hind legs caused by a badger, but this doesn't disable her in any way. Smokewhisper also has a v-shaped cut in her left ear from the same badger that injured her legs. She is the largest cat in Shadowclan.
Oooh, a very nice description. Nothing seems awry with it, and I like the that her fur matches her voice XD The Maine Coon part also makes it easy to visualize her. Honestly this is one of the best descriptions I've seen so far!

Gender: Female
:>

Age: currently 43 moons
Alright, a little on the older side

Personality: very energetic, extroverted, controlling, leader-like, clumsy, sarcastic but only to close friends, kind, loyal, prepared, blunt and protective
A few traits are a little cliche, but come on. Who isn't a little kind and loyal? Overall, it's good, but maybe add on to it

And I like that she's a clumsy, but also like "don't mess with me" XD

Sexuality: Lesbian
Nice

Clan: Shadowclan (The lake territories)
Good, good

Rank: Deputy
I'd say she's a tad young for deputy, but I guess there's always exceptions. Or she might be a really new one.
Eh, who am I to judge? We have leaders at like 25 in my roleplays XD

Kin:
Mother: Shadowfire: A large tall long-furred black she-cat with bunches of fur near her claws and dark tufted ears.
Is she also a Main Coon? It sounds like it
Her round eyes are bright amber like the sunset.
I l o v e  her eyes
Shadowfire's muzzle has some grey fur from age. She was said to be a timid, introverted, optimistic cat that was always loyal to her clan. She was guided by her heart, making her ambitious and somewhat narrow-minded.
It's nice that you included some or her personality!
She passed away in her sleep due to an infection on her right hind leg that she had been hiding.
M o u s e f u r  v i b e s
She was originally a warrior but was an elder when she died. She was 89 moons when she died.
At least she lived to a good age
T-T

Father: Darkstorm: I'm starting to sense a theme in their names
A medium-sized dark grey tabby tom with glossy fur, broad shoulders and a long tail. His fur is medium length with forest green eyes like Smokewhisper. He was said to be brave, smart and adventurous. He doesn't talk about his opinions much, but when he does, you better be on his side because he isn't afraid to start a fight, whether just among his own clan or with the other clans.
Why does he remind me of an old white man yelling at his neighbors? 😂
He died at the age of 62 moons in a border battle with thunderclan that he started. In the battle he was horribly injured and fell into a river, he wasn't a strong swimmer and he was hurt so he drowned. His body was washed to shore the next day, covered in battle wounds and water in his lungs.
That's sad.....

Brother: Raincloud: A dark grey tabby with blue eyes like Shadowfire's mother, Ravenshine.
Ok, there's a serious them in their names and I LOVE Ravenshine it's so pretty!
Raincloud's face is covered in scars caused by the same badger that hurt Smokewhisper.
:0
He is currently the shadowclan medicine cat, he chose to be a medicine cat and he loves healing other cats. Rainstorm's fur is matted near the tail and leaves are stuck to his pelt all the time.
That's so frickin adorable, I can't

Crush: None
K

Mate: None
Single Pringle :p

Adopted son: Feathertuft. Feathertuft is the largest cat in all of the clans because he isn't a cat at all, he is a Eurasian lynx.
*long suffering sigh* Alright, here we go
Smokewhisper found him while she was on border patrol with Nightberry. When they found him is was in a bush. Feathertuft was only a moon old and the bush barely had the smell of a queen, so they took him back to camp.
Yeah, okay I guess lynx kittens could be mistaken for cats
Until he was 7 moons old, they thought he was a cat, then when he was 9 moons old another lynx got on Shadowclan territory, and they asked some barn cats for help when the other clans refused to chase off the lynx. The barn cats explained what a lynx was.
Yo, how do the fricking barn cats know what a lynx is? I guess they live closer to the mountains, but all of the clans are still pretty close to them....
After chasing off the lynx, Featherpaw became Feathertuft.
Damn, he chased off his own kind? Did the lynx not try to talk to him like "Bro, wut you doing??"
Featherfuft is a pale brown colour with darker spots. He as icy blue eyes and a short tail. His ears have long tufts, that is how he got his name.
His description makes perfect sense with being a lynx, so yay!

Mentor: Bagderspot: A lithe dark grey tom with a white muzzle, chest, belly and legs. His white muzzle has a small spot of dark grey like the rest of his pelt. He has a pink nose, long whiskers and lime green eyes. Badgerspot is quite tall and he has a long scar that parts the fur on his right hind leg.
Why is his description so cute?? Badgerspot was formerly a kittypet named Austin, but when he was a kit, he wandered away from his mother and discovered the Shadowclan.
You know what? I actually love him (^O^)

Apprentice: Dawnfire: A bright tabby ginger she-cat with amber eyes and a white patch on her chest and a white tail tip. She is stubborn, ambitious and hostile. She loves battle training and the taste of mice.
The only critique I have, is maybe change her description to "bright ginger tabby she-cat". I think it rolls of the tongue a little easier. Other than that, I like her!

Friends:
Rosefoot: A medium-sized pure white she-cat with silky fur and yellow eyes. One of her front paws is burnt and missing fur from when she stepped on an unattended barbeque while trying to steal a sausage.
Was she always named Rose? At least she wasn't renamed "Burntfoot" because honestly I hate those.... Anyways! I think it's funny she tried to steal a sausage, but I have to ask. What in the world was a Warrior doing near Twoleg food?

Mudface: A small colourpoint brown tom with pale blue eyes and a black nose. He is leader-like and would be a good choice for the next deputy
Awww, he's cute. (I've recently had an obsession with Siamese and Bengal cats, so UwU)

Backstory: When she was an apprentice she was attacked by a fox leaving scars on her hind legs.
Uh- I thought it was a badger? Also, we kind of skipped past her kithood....
Almost as soon as she became a warrior, cats around her started hinting that she should get a mate, but she is embarrassed about her sexuality, so she hasn't so far.
Okay, makes sense, but why did we jump from her being an apprentice to a warrior?
When she was a warrior, she was on border patrol, when she heard meowing coming from a bush. Smokewhisper investigated and came out with a small brown kit. She adopted it as her own and named him Featherkit.
Okay, so here's Feather
When Featherkit became an apprentice and got his name Featherpaw she talked to her brother, the medicine cat, Rainstorm, about him because he was a lot bigger than the other cats hs age.
*gasp*
When Featherpaw was 9 moons old, a lynx came on to Shadow clan territory. Shadowclan realized it was like Featherpaw, and tried to make friends with it, but it attacked the warriors, killing the deputy, Shadowtail.
Shadowtail.. Of ShadowClan.. 😐Shadowclan tried to kill it but it was no use so they asked the other clans for help, but they refused.
Damn, okay.
So Shadowclan grudgingly asked some barn cats for help, they agreed. The barn cats explained that the creature was a lynx and that Featherpaw was too. All the Shadowclan cats and the barn cats chased if the lynx.
Yes! I got an explanation. And it makes a lot of sense in my opinion
The barn cats were offered a place in shadowclan, six of them refused, but two of them did not. Their names were Willow and Forest. They changed their names to Willowfrost and Forestleaf.
Alright, nice
After Shadowtail, the deputy died, Smokewhisper became the deputy.
Sad, but also good for her :b

Other: She knows a bit about herbs because she originally wanted to be a medicine cat
Oh, that's cool! Reminds me of Holly lmao

Review: Uh, honestly this is a pretty fleshed our Oc in my opinion. I thought it was going to be really cliche with the inclusion of Feathertuft, but honestly you handled it pretty well! (Sorry about my obviously sour attitude through some of it 😅😂)
The things about him seemed realistic and they way he reacted to one of his own kind was surprising but awesome because stayed loyal to his clan! Also, I like that since Smokewhisper is a Maine Coon she'd be much closer in size to him XD. The only thing I would like is more detail in the backstory with her kithood, apprenticeship, and how she met her friends and stuff. Overall, nice Oc!!