Chapter 25 - Desire to Connect

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"Do you think I am annoying?"

That was the question I posed to Raincreek that night. My head buzzed with thoughts throughout the entire day and I wanted to find out something for myself.

The light grey StarClan warrior gave me a questioning look. "Why do you ask?"

"I... need to know," I meowed, returning her gaze with a serious look of my own.

Raincreek only blinked. "Very well."

There was a tense silence as my night time mentor thought of an answer. It felt like an eternity, but in reality it was a couple of heartbeats.

Her blue eyes met mine as she gave her response, void of emotion as usual.

"Yes," Raincreek spoke clearly.

I was momentarily startled by her blunt answer, but the feeling was quickly replaced by sadness. I kind of always know that she felt that way.

"There's nothing wrong about that," she added. "You ask many unnecessary questions that I'm obliged to answer, but that is your way of connecting with others."

"Connecting... with others?" I muttered.

"As you know, Deerstar and I are more rivals than friends," Raincreek mentioned. "She annoyed me to no end, boasting loudly about her achievements and making sure to hush about her own weaknesses. I made sure to point those out, causing her to challenge me in almost everything each day. It stopped when Deerstar became deputy though."

She sounded rather wistful at the end, as if she missed the former ThunderClan leader bothering her.

"Do you miss that?" I asked curiously.

"Yes."

"Can't you two meet in StarClan?"

Raincreek hesitated, as if she was unsure whether to tell me. "Not really. StarClan is not what you think. In short, we live in two different sides - interacting may end with hostility. That's the last thing StarClan needs now."

StarClan being divided? That sounds like... the state of StarClan in The Last Hope.

"Please, tell me what's going on in StarClan," I practically begged. "The Clan's morale is low and as far as I know, StarClan did not send any signs of reassurance. Did they abandon us at a time like this?"

The StarClan warrior let out a long sigh, waving her tail to signal for me to sit down. It must be a long story.

"StarClan's power is dependant on the faith of the Clans. As you probably guessed by that sentence, the Clan's faith in StarClan is rapidly decreasing, so StarClan is weakening. Simple fact is that they can't send any signs at this stage," Raincreek explained. "It is only a matter of time before StarClan fades and the Clans return to being rogues, loners and kittypets."

"Can I do anything to help?" I asked.

"That's not your role here," she meowed sharply. "You and your friends are meant to help ThunderClan to defeat Fangstar."

As I started to speak, Raincreek interrupted me.

"I can't do much, unfortunately, if that's what you are going to ask me. Flintstar and his followers are the ones in control. Honestly, I don't care less about what they think of us, but what they are doing is a problem. But that's enough talking about that." Her tone was firm, causing me to keep my mouth shut.

"Deerstar and I learned to respect each other in a fight. Perhaps that's the solution to your problem."

~~~~

Thoughts about our conversation kept me up all night. I would definitely take Raincreek's advice, though I am slightly apprehensive about it as it may have the reverse effect.

Challenging Rosepaw to a fight was not going to be easy for me and there was no guarantee of success. Even so, I had to try.

I could only sleep after I finalised the things I wanted to do - in my head - the next day.

I was awoken by sunlight shining on my face. Rising to my paws, I glanced outside where snow still covered the ground. It was definitely warmer than usual.

Leaf-bare is slowly coming to an end, I sighed.

I spotted Streamripple by the thorn barrier, expecting me to be there soon. As I padded up to her, I mustered my courage to ask the question.

"Streamripple, can you move our training session to noo- I mean, sunhigh? I need to settle something myself," I meowed.

The brown and white she-cat blinked slowly. I could tell that she was considering it carefully and I hoped that she would not ask any questions about it.

"Sure." Much to my surprise, my mentor agreed. "It seems important. Meet me at the Sandy Hollow at sunhigh then."

"Thank you!" I was very much relieved. It was awkward enough to ask that of my mentor.

Before she could change her mind, I hurried back to the apprentices' den, in hopes of finding Rosepaw. The only cat inside was Spottedpaw, who was sorting out her nest.

"Do you know where's Rosepaw?" I asked quickly.

"I-I think she's somewhere in the forest," the spotted she-cat mewed hesitantly.

"Okay, thanks!"

I could follow Rosepaw's scent trail to find out where she is.

Once I got out of camp, I concentrated on catching the white she-cat's scent. It did not take that long for me to find her scent, which led in the direction of Tallpines.

She seemed to be alone. Is she hunting alone again?

I wasn't sure why, but I suddenly felt a pang of sadness in my heart. Maybe it's the guilt of not trusting her, my own Clanmate and classmate from when we were Twolegs.

As I raced towards Tallpines like my life depended on it, another thought crossed my mind.

Is Rosepaw lonely?

It might have been the case. She was easily irritable and impatient, not exactly the best friend material. However, she definitely had more friends in school than me, so is she really lonely?

Thinking hard about it made me realise that I was going in the wrong direction. Rosepaw was pushed into the warriors' world unwillingly and all of a sudden, she became surrounded by strangers again. The four of us may have came from the same class, but we were far from friends.

Is that why you are lonely?

I was so absorbed in my thought that I nearly bumped into a white object, only skidding to a halt barely heartbeats before I could hit it.

Rosepaw stood in front of me, her green eyes filled with annoyance as usual. She seemed unfazed by the things going around her, yet I could almost feel the distress radiating from her.

I want to understand you, and to finally be friends with you!

"What do you want?" she asked warily.

I took a deep breath before I made my proclamation. "Rosepaw, I challenge you to a fight!"

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Did anyone get the reference to a certain anime in this chapter? Hint: it came out in 2016.

Anyway, who is your favourite character in this book so far? I personally like Raincreek. :3

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