Rabbitkit - @Bluestar_StarClan

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NOTE: This OC is owned by me but featured in Moonkitti's videos. I am the voice actor of this character btw//

Nice! I don't watch Moonkitti's videos often, but it's cool you voice Rabbitkit!

Name: Rabbitkit.

It's a cute name - surprisingly, Rabbit isn't really used too often, I find. A more traditional WindClan prefix. What's their warrior name going to be?

Age: 5 moons.

Very close to apprenticeship! I've just realised Rabbitkit is the first OC in this book who's still a kit.

Gender: Trans MTF she-cat.

I feel like Rabbitkit would be a little too young to decide that she would rather be a she-cat, but it's really up to you.

Sexuality: Pansexual Panromantic.

Again, I think she's too young to figure out this stuff so early on, but that's just my personal opinion.

Pronouns: She/her.

Same thing as the above two, but it's up to you.

Clan: SkyClan.

It's interesting a SkyClan kit would take a more WindClan prefix, but on the other paw I do associate rabbits with SkyClan (I have no idea why, we don't question the mind at this point XD) so nothing really to criticize here.

Personality: Rabbitkit is a shy bouncy kit. She likes to cause chaos, earning the nickname 'Gremlin' by her foster mom, Sunpool. She also gets anxious very easily, but other than that, she's pretty much a normal kit.

I feel like her whole personality contradicts itself - shy and bouncy, chaotic but easily anxious? Maybe alter it slightly to make her a little more confident, to go with her bouncy and chaotic mannerisms. Also, I'm not entirely sure about that nickname - as cute as it sounds, it's a folklore creature (something I highly doubt the Clans would understand).

Appearance: Rabbitkit is an average-sized, white she-cat with two dark brown dots on her forehead along with three dark brown dots on her left flank and her whole tail being dark brown except for the base and the tip. She has azure blue eyes and pink nose and paw pads with black dots on her paw pads.

That's a very detailed but adorable design! I also searched her up - yes, I'm that bad at picturing appearances :D - and she's adorable. The white fur with blue eyes is a little overused, I'll admit, but cute, nonetheless.

Quote: "Mm, sure, it's something to do." - When told she needs to do something.

Not the most exciting quote, but you can't expect whole speeches from a kit, can you?

Mentor: None.

Makes sense.

Apprentice: None.

Logical.

Family: Brackenblaze (Father) - A tall white tom with azure blue eyes and a black nose with black paw pads. His left ear is dark brown, along with his left front leg and tail being dark brown except for the base and tip.

That's a cute name, but I'm not a big fan of mixing prefixes and suffixes that suggest somewhat opposite elements - like earth and fire. It's a weird pet peeve of mine, so don't take it too seriously lol. His appearance is almost identical to Rabbitkit's, which I feel is quite unlikely considering how specific it is, and no part of his appearance suggests anything 'blaze'.

Dawnkit (Sister) - An average-sized fluffy dilute calico she-cat with pastel green eyes. She has a pink nose and pink paw pads.

An okay name, Dawn isn't the most exciting to me (I've used Dawn too much in old fanfiction XD) and her appearance matches it will. I love dilute tortoiseshells and haven't thought of the idea of a dilute calico before. She clearly takes after her mother, whoever that is?

Sunpool (Foster mom) - An average-sized, fluffy tortoiseshell she-cat with one forest green eye and one sky blue eye.

Ooh onto a foster mother. Her appearance and name are quite pretty, and I love the use of heterocromia eyes. But her name doesn't really work with the appearance, and what about the real mother?

Backstory: Rabbitkit was born as a tom to an unknown mother and Brackenblaze, along with Dawnkit. Rabbitkit was a normal kit, but one day, she felt...like something was wrong. She didn't feel like a tom anymore. She told the medicine cat how she felt, and he told her that she might be transgender. Once explained, Rabbitkit soon came out as Trans MTF.

I'm not trying to be rude with this criticism here, but it needs to be said. Firstly, how can her mother be unknown? I'd understand it if they father wasn't known, but it's almost impossible to not know the mother unless she was found abandoned somewhere with Dawnkit. Secondly, being trans isn't as 'clear' or 'obvious' as just not feeling right all of a sudden, or not feeling like a tom anymore - especially so young. Being trans isn't something you can really feel without realising but is more of a decision or choice. Like, if you felt more comfortable being more 'feminine' or 'masculine', and decided you wanted to identify yourself that way. I apologise if I offend anyone with the way I've worded this - I tried best I could. <3

Strengths: Fighting, climbing trees, listening, staying quiet.
Weaknesses: Hunting, keeping balance, making friends, talking in general.

Mostly these seem to make sense, but some are a little out of place. Balance, I think, would be key to climbing trees and keeping safe up them. I also think that she'd strive in hunting if she can climb trees, where squirrels and birds lurk. Also, how is she so chaotic if she'd good at staying quiet but struggles with talking in general?

Likes: Her foster mom, hanging out with warriors, playing, eating squirrels, causing chaos.
Dislikes: Her father, apprentices, loud noises, thunder, thyme.

Why does she like her foster mother but not her father? And what does she have against thyme? XD

Hunting: 4/10
Fighting: 8/10
Swimming: 5/10
Climbing: 9/10
Running: 7/10
Stalking: 9/10
Memory: 6/10
Healing: 6/10
Leadership: 5/10

I feel like swimming, running and healing should be a little lower as she's neither River nor WindClan, and has shown no interest in herbs or healing whatsoever. Also, as a kit, she'd be unlikely to know about any herbs whether she was interested or not. However, the others seem to make sense with what you've given me.

---

Overall, Rabbitkit is a fairly interesting character. She was my first kit OC of this book and is even voice acted by you but featured in Moonkitti's videos! But there are some issues to address, as there always will be with things like this. One of the main things is her sudden knowledge of wanting to be a she-cat and being pansexual and panromantic - kits wouldn't feel any sexual attraction at all at that age! Also, if she was born in the Clan, I find it highly unlikely that her mother would remain a mystery. There are a few other very minor details, but they don't matter too much. It's up to you whether you edit it, but I'd recommend you so.

Thank you for sending me your OC @Bluestar_StarClan - I hope my advice helps! - and feel free to send in more!

- Grey

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