Turtletail - @Rileyrogers_666

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Name: Turtletail.

This is a nice name, but it's in fact cannon! Turtle Tail is from the ancient Tribe/Clans in Dawn of the Clans.

Age: 20 moons.

She's probably been a warrior only for about 8 moons, so I'm guessing she's still alive.

Gender: She-cat.

Fair enough.

Sexuality: Pansexual.

Nice! I think she's one of the first pansexual OCs we've had in this book.

Clan: ShadowClan, formerly a member of ThunderClan.

Ooh, this is interesting. ShadowClan and ThunderClan tend to not get along much, so her moving to ShadowClan must have caused some tension.

Personality: Turtletail is a playful, caring and understanding she-cat who is known for her indecisive nature. She cares deeply for the cats whom she considers to be her new family and has a deep and visceral dislike of her true parents.

Her personify seems to flow consistently and makes sense. I wonder what her parents did to make her detest them so badly. 0-0

Appearance: Turtletail is a small, short-haired bright ginger she-cat who is covered with darker spots. She has a stumpy tail, and curled ears. Her nose is black, and her eyes are amber. She has a lighter muzzle and belly, but her paws are a dark colour similar to her spots.

This is a really detailed and cute appearance! I really enjoyed making your Picrew :) Most of the cats with the prefix Turtle have tortoiseshell pelts, so it's to see something unique.

Quote: "Boulderpounce, I'm sorry, I can't come back. I hope you can still trust me, even after I betrayed your trust in that way."

Oof, I'm guessing this is her saying goodbye to someone.

Mentor: Firelight, a bright ginger tom with green eyes.

I do love that name and appearance combo - reminds me of fireflies.

Father: Viperstrike - short-haired, greenish-grey mottled Tom with amber eyes, pointy teeth and large ears.
Mother: Strawberrystar - short-haired, pale ginger she-cat who is covered with darker spots. She has a flat snout, and bright green eyes.
Half-siblings: Oakflame - dark ginger-and-black colorpoint she-cat with amber eyes.
Loudsnout - plump, short-haired pale brown tabby tom with golden eyes.
Stumpyleg - short-haired greenish-grey tabby tom with amber eyes and three legs.

Omg it's Viperstrike!! I had no idea he had another kit. I'll only review Strawberrystar here as I've done the others previously. I wish people would use Strawberry more often lol, and her appearance fits with the name.

Former mates: Boulderpounce - solid grey tom with light blue eyes and a torn ear.
Peanut - golden tom with darker spots, a flat snout, curled ears and purplish-amber eyes. He also has a grey, silver collar with a heart-shaped tag.

Ooh, two former mates? That's unusual, and Peanut seems to be a kittypet. Boulderpounce's appearances fits his name well enough, and Peanut looks absolutely adorable.

Kits: Dash - golden spotted tom-kit with amber light blue eyes and a stumpy tail.
Bird - golden spotted she-kit with amber eyes and a stumpy tail.

I'm gonna guess she had kits with Peanut and gave them away? I like the names, and their appearance are quite cute - I like how they have Turtletail's stumpy tail, too.

Backstory: Turtlekit was born to Strawberrystar, who'd recently become ThunderClan's leader after Clearstar died at the Gathering which was previously mentioned in several submissions. She was in a one kit litter, and her only two friends were Boulderkit and Birdkit. Strawberrystar had disliked Turtlekit from the start, for reasons that she'd refused to unveil. Turtlekit always tried to please her neglectful mother to no avail.

Ooh, after that traumatic Gathering. Are Boulderkit and Birdkit littermates? Also, I'm curious about Strawberrystar's dislike towards Turtlekit.

Eventually, Turtlepaw was apprenticed to Firelight, who taught her everything he knew. He was a kind and honest tom, and a better father figure than whoever her true father was. One thing that Turtlepaw knew about her mother was that she had a bizarre hatred for ShadowClan, despite Beetlestar's peaceful nature. One day, Strawberrystar ordered her clan to attack ShadowClan's camp, and they did. The attack resulted in Boulderpaw gaining a torn ear, and Turtlepaw trying to escape the fight only to accidentally trip onto a Thunderpath.

Nahh poor Beetlestar having to deal with this dude. I love the father-daughter relationship Turtlepaw has with her mentor. I hope Turtlepaw is okay. 🤞

She awoke in a Twoleg den to a kittypet tom, around her age, staring at her. He said his name was Peanut, and that his housefolk had found Turtlepaw and were nursing her back to health. Turtlepaw was suspicious and upset at first, but she soon realized that despising kittypets would be what her mother wanted, and if her mother only wanted hate, should she really follow that? So, Turtlepaw decided to warm up to Peanut and the two bonded.

Aww, cute. I like how Turtlepaw thinks about what her mother would do/want and then does the opposite, lol. But in what way was she hurt - broken limbs? And how long did she stay there?

One day, when Turtlepaw was healthy again thankfully, ShadowClan cats suddenly appeared near the fence asking if they could bring her back to ThunderClan. Peanut allowed her to go, but Turtlepaw promised to come visit. She walked alongside Beetlestar, who seemed to treat her strangely. He acted as if she was a family member rather than a stranger he'd never met. However, she soon discovered why when he asked to speak with her before he brought her into ThunderClan. Beetlestar had known her father, and in-fact, her father was his brother, Viperstrike. Beetlestar explained that Viperstrike had gotten into a forbidden relationship with her mother whilst cheating on Primroseleap (who was still mates with her at the time). Turtlepaw was shocked, and didn't believe him at first, but it all made sense. Her mother's hate for ShadowClan, her dislike of Turtlepaw... She didn't want Turtlepaw. She was a reminder of the cat who betrayed her trust long ago.

Damn, poor Turtlepaw. But how did ShadowClan know where she was and bring her home, instead of ThunderClan?

Turtlepaw returned to ThunderClan, much to the joy of Boulderpaw and Birdpaw. Turtlepaw, vividly upset, argued with Strawberrystar about what Beetlestar had told her. Strawberrystar argued that Viperstrike was a cat who betrayed her for a path of evil, but Turtlepaw argued that she still shouldn't have neglected her. The two cats distanced themselves from one another, and Turtlepaw found comfort in her friends. And of course, Peanut, who she'd begun to visit as she'd promised.

Gosh, Strawberrystar is pretty horrible - why can't she just be nice? ;-; I'm glad she's visiting Peanut more... ;)

Turtlepaw eventually became Turtletail alongside Boulderpounce and Birdfeather. She happily went to tell the news to Peanut, who was proud of her. She asked Peanut if he wanted to join her in ThunderClan, but he refused, since he wanted to stay with his housefolk. Turtletail understood his decision perfectly. However, within a few moons, their friendship became a secret relationship. Turtletail and Peanut were soulmates, despite being from two different cultures, who hated and feared one-another.

Aww, this can't end well. :/ It's nice Turtletail is so understanding towards Peanut's wishes.

However, Turtletail needed a back-up plan just in case she somehow had kits. So, she decided to start another relationship with Boulderpounce, who was ecstatic despite not knowing the truth of why Turtletail "loved" him. Birdfeather soon discovered the truth, but Turtletail begged her to hide it. Birdfeather understood and did her best to help hide it. But of course, she couldn't do it anymore, after dying in a rockslide. Turtletail was distraught, and so was Boulderpounce. But the worst part? Turtletail was pregnant, and she didn't know who the father was.

Well sugar. Poor Boulderpounce and Birdfeather. I hope Turtletail figures out how the father is soon enough.

And of course, when she had her kits, they looked almost identical to Peanut. She thought things would be okay at first, until the Clan's deputy, Eelbite, noticed how similar they looked to a kittypet he'd chased off earlier. The Clan realized what Turtletail had done, and they were angry. Boulderpounce was distraught, and extremely sad, while Strawberrystar was filled with fury. She exiled Turtletail, and her kits. Turtletail understood and took her kits. Boulderpounce went after her and told her that he didn't believe Strawberrystar or Eelbite, but Turtletail revealed the truth and left.

Screw Eelbite, honestly. And Strawberrystar - exile is far too harsh for a cat who's caring for two kits. I feel so bad for Boulderpounce too.

She went to Peanut's den and gave her kits to him for their own safety. She named them Dash (after a former deputy named Dashnose) and Bird (after Birdfeather). Peanut and Turtletail decided that they shouldn't see each-other anymore, and tearfully said goodbye. Turtletail went to ShadowClan, and Beetlestar let her in almost instantly despite the suspicious gazes from a few warriors. And so, Turtletail began her new life, with the cats who cared about her more than ThunderClan ever did.

Did she have any friendship or relation to Dashnose? And why did she give them to Peanut - she could have taken them to ShadowClan, because Beetlestar is much kinder? I'm guessing she didn't join Peanut in his home either because she craved warrior life, or his owners would complicate things. I want to find an excuse that lets her stay meeting Peanut, but I can't. 😡 I'm glad Beetlestar and ShadowClan cared for her so much - but what else happened? Did ThunderClan expose her? Were they shocked she'd joined their enemy Clan?

Cause of death: Alive.
Legacy: Turtletail's legacy will live on through her kittypet kits, but her legacy hasn't truly begun yet considering how young she is.

Fair enough, makes sense. I wonder how Dash and Bird are doing in Peanut's care.

Strengths: Agility, kindness, stubbornness, ability to see past clan borders and accept cats for who they are, understanding.
Weaknesses: Size, lack of foresight, lack of strength, naivety.

They all make sense and flow consistently, but there's more strengths than weaknesses - maybe add another weakness? I might just be being petty, so I have something to say lol-

Likes: Peanut, ShadowClan, Beetlestar, remembering Birdfeather, fresh kill, running, hunting.
Dislikes: Strawberrystar, Eelbite, ThunderClan, her kithood, combat, dodgy scents.

Yup, they all make sense and work well together.

Hunting: 10/10
Fighting: 2/10
Swimming: 0/10
Climbing: 5/10
Running: 4/10
Stalking: 9/10
Memory: 10/10
Healing: 0/10
Leadership: 7/10

I've got nothing much to say here, all those ratings make sense lol.

---

Overall, Turtletail is a really interesting character with quite a unique story to tell. I enjoyed reading about her outside Clan relationship and how she handled exile and moving to ShadowClan. I also liked all the unique names and appearances you've created for your other characters, and how cleverly everycat was written. I hope the small bits of advice dotted around this ratings helps!

Also, I just want to say that - from these submissions - I can tell you're an amazing writer and deserve so much credit for it. I've really enjoyed learning about your characters and their intertwining stories, lives and drama. I love how everything connects and can't wait to see any more characters you want to submit. You're so creative, and you have no idea how many times I've checked I'm following you and looked to see if you've published any stories about these characters. 😅 You have such an amazing imagination and I beg you to publish a/some stories on these brilliant characters and their lives. ❤️✨ You slay 💪🥳

Thanks for sending me another brilliant OC, Rileyrogers_666, and feel free to send in even more! (Lol)

- Grey

Here's your Picrew!

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