Hawkfire bent over sharply as if she were hit in the stomach, torrents of coughs erupting from her. She hacked and wheezed for what felt like ages until Duckfeather rushed over and pushed a wad of herbs under her nose.

"Hurry, swallow the catmint. It'll help with the coughing." She nodded appreciatively and lapped the delicious-smelling leaves up. Soon, her coughing died down to a vague throb in her throat. Duckfeather gave her some sodden moss as well, and she began licking up the water that was soaked inside it. She relaxed as the refreshing water soothed her throat, but shuddered at the thought of three sunrises ago. She recalled her lashing frenzy in the lake as she tried to escape the cold, dark depths, only to find a wall of ice blocking her way out. That feeling of helplessness still hadn't left her after all these days.

"Are you okay now?" Duckfeather's mew brought Hawkfire back to reality.

"Er, yes, thank you. I feel much better now." He grunted in response and left her. She shifted her position in the nest and laid her head down on her paws. Suddenly, a thought struck her. Thistleclaw didn't visit me in my sleep. Does that mean anything? Nah, he must have known what happened and realizes how exhausted I am, so he is just letting me rest. She stretched happily, relieved that she didn't have to wake up with any sore muscles or scratches. Though she wasn't sure that a coughing fit was that much better in comparison. After several minutes, Hawkfire became aware of the aching in her stomach and throat. Ugh, I need to get better as soon as possible. Stupid whitecough. She rolled onto her other side and steadied her breathing, but her dull pain wouldn't let her sleep. She continued to toss and turn but finally gave up, too uncomfortable to fall back asleep. Besides, Cedarbelly's wheezing snores next to her were flooding her ears.

Hawkfire turned over onto her back and stared at the gray ceiling. The waning moon's beams illuminated her fur and she instantly thought about her meetings with Russetclaw by the lake at night. Is he wondering where I am right now? I hope he doesn't think I'm betraying him. She frowned. Wait, so what if he does? He's just a mouse-brained ShadowClan warrior anyways, it doesn't matter what he believes. Yet, when she said that to herself, it stung her deeply for some reason, like a thorn piercing her heart.

She directed her thoughts away from the ShadowClan warrior, but another popped into her mind - Berrypelt. Hawkfire shivered at the thought of him. Why am I thinking about him? I only killed him. So what that I killed a cat? He had it coming anyways. I suppose the worst part is, I kind of enjoyed it. Augh! Why can't I think of something normal, or at least no one from ShadowClan!

She slowed her breathing back down and searched for something in the cave to occupy her with. After a frew heartbeats, she made out a small body silhouetted against the moonlight, and discerned it as Fuzzypaw. An abrupt surge of anger swept through her upon seeing her. That she-cat doesn't know her place, she has no right to meddle in the affairs of a warrior! Hawkfire sulked as she glared at Fuzzypaw from her nest. She certainly isn't helping with my destiny either. What if she were to die mysteriously in her sleep one night... Hawkfire stiffened at that thought. What am I thinking? She's still my Clanmate and medicine cat, I can't kill her! Though can I really say she's an ally? Ahh, that's it, I have to stop thinking!

By sunup, Hawkfire was exhausted. She hadn't been able to fall back asleep all night. Being stuck in camp since the accident had made her feel more tired, not rested. Just as her eyelids were drooping and mind at ease, Lightningmask barged in.

"Hawkfire! How are you? Are you feeling better?"

She gasped at his unexpected entrance and broke down into coughs. When she caught her breath, she growled, "I was into you came storming in here like a badger."

He hung his head. "Sorry," he apologized sincerely and she sighed.

"It's fine. Thanks for visiting me anyways, it's been quite lonesome around here."

His throat vibrated as a purr welled up, "of course. It's my pleasure to make my poor, sick friend happy."

"I'm not sick," she pouted.

"Certainly," he chuckled heartily.

"Have I missed anything lately?" she meowed.

"Nah, nothing's up much. Although, your playmates are wondering what happened to you."

"My playmates?" she echoed dumbfounded. "Do you mean Rabbitclaw and Snakefang?"

"I mean Pyrekit, Onekit and Mosskit. They've been causing all sorts of trouble searching for you since they don't believe the 'Great Hawkfire' could ever be sick."

She snorted. "Is that what they're calling me?" They aren't far from the truth actually.

Lightningmask smiled, "those kits really care for you. You have a way with them."

"Not really, they're a bother anyway."

"Careful that they don't hear you," he mewed quietly.

She rolled her eyes at him. "I'm more worried that they'd here you gossiping about them, you're too loud."

"I was almost whispering," he meowed.

"Oh yeah," she drawled. "I would totally call that whispering too. You know what, sometimes I wonder where you brain goes, it never seems to be in your head."

"Hey!" he sniffed and tossed his head back. "I am your senior, you should show more respect."

"You are getting pretty old, I suppose I should act a little nicer to an elder," Hawkfire sneered.

"You're so mean, even more so than usual. I think your sickness is getting to you," he huffed, then perked his ears. "But seriously, how are you feeling?"

"I'm good, just bored lying around all day. I can't wait to leave."

"I miss you on patrols, you're company is always fun," he grinned.

"Aww, so sweet," Hawkfire purred and put her head down.

"Are you sure you're okay?"

"Yes."

"Positive?" he inquired further.

She groaned, "oh for StarClan's sake! Honestly, you're such a mouse-brain sometimes, I'll be okay. You should stop fussing over me, you're beginning to act like a queen."

"Sorry," he mumbled. Just then, Fuzzypaw came in and gave Hawkfire some herbs.

"Here, take these." Hawkfire obliged to her demand and swallowed them quickly. Her pelt grew warm when she realized Lightningmask was watching her the whole time.

She licked her lips and returned his stare. "Yes?"

He jumped in surprise. "Oh, er n-nothing. I, um, I'll be going now, so yeah. Have fun! Wait, that isn't right. Being sick can't be fun, so, get well soon!" He hurriedly exited and Hawkfire giggled. She could never tire of her silly friend.

Fuzzypaw blinked, "what was that all about?"

"Oh, he's just strange. Probably dropped on his head a few times as a kit which would explain a lot. Don't worry though, you get used to him." That made Fuzzypaw laugh as she walked away to the back of the den.

Hawkfire started resting her head down again, when her brothers padded in.

"Hey, Hawkfire," Rabbitclaw purred. "How are you."

"Tired," she muttered. Why can't I just get some sleep? Must the entire Clan disturb me first?

Snakefang yawned, "I can't believe you're stuck here. It must suck, especially being near Duckfeather all the time."

"It could be worse," her tail whipped the moss.

"I suppose." Snakefang flexed his claws. "No one's allowed on the lake still after your incident, Morningstar doesn't want to risk any cats getting hurt."

Hawkfire narrowed her eyes in suspicion, "are you blaming me?"

Sadness flashed through his eyes, "of course not. I was just letting you know. Besides, I think it's for the better, I don't want to see anything like that happen ever again."

"Oh, nevermind then." She felt bad for accusing her brother but couldn't help herself. Why am I acting so distrustful towards my Clanmates all of a sudden?

"How about we let you rest? It seems like you need it," Rabbitclaw intervened thankfully as the tension built, and her brothers took their leave with a curt goodbye. Finally. She gladly closed her tired eyes and felt the gentle tug of sleep.

"Hawkfire?" Duckfeather leaned over her. "Swallow these leaves." A pungent scent wafted beneath her nose. Numbly she lapped up the green specks beside her mouth.

"Bring more feverfew, Fuzzypaw," Duckfeather called. Paw steps pattered closer and a small bush with flowers like daisies hanging on it landed beside Duckfeather, who nipped off a few leaves. Hawkfire screwed her eyes shut, fatigued from her pounding headache. 

"Is she okay?" Hawkfire recognized Fuzzypaw's mew, but she was too nauseous to open her eyes.

"She'll be fine."

"The pus excreting from her eyes died down," Fuzzypaw remarked.

"Yes, that's a good sign that her greencough might be dying down. Go and soak moss in the spring," he told Fuzzypaw. The medicine cat's mew faded into buzzing, and darkness swallowed Hawkfire. Duckfeather poked her sharply. "Stay awake. You've been in pretty bad shape. You can sleep later."

She lapped up another tongueful of shredded leaves and began chewing. Her thoughts began to clear a little. By the time Fuzzypaw returned with soaked moss, she was able to turn and watch.

"Thanks," she rasped and drank some of the water.

"Your welcome," Fuzzypaw meowed. "Do you want some food? You haven't eaten all day and you need strength."

Hawkfire shook her head, "no thanks, maybe later." Fuzzypaw nodded and left, settling down beside Cherrypaw and Applepaw, but her gaze kept flashing anxiously toward Hawkfire as she shared tongues with her Clanmates.

Applepaw's voice carried on the breeze. "How's Hawkfire and Cedarbelly?"

"Well, Hawkfire's greencough is starting to go away, but Cedarbelly is still pretty bad. Unfortunately, Duckfeather says they aren't allowed any more visitors."

"I feel so terrible, we shouldn't have gone to play on the ice," Cherrypaw murmured.

"It wasn't your fault," Applepaw insisted.

"Maybe."

She's blaming herself for this? Am I so weak that other cats have to take the blame for me? I thought I was stronger than this. Hawkfire sighed heavily. I wish I could just go back and help my Clan again, it's so boring without any duties and I feel so useless.

Flareheart's yowl echoed off the walls of the cave outside as she organized patrols. For some reason, hearing her former mentor give out orders to the ThunderClan cats made her grow bitter, disappointed that she couldn't go on one. They don't really need me do they? Life in ThunderClan will continue to progress with or without me, it wouldn't matter if I died. They would mourn for a little and then I'd be all but a memory. Is that it? Hawkfire tried to shake the nagging thought away. No, that's not true. I am the destined cat to unite and lead the four Clans, of course I'll be needed! She reminded herself. They'll never forget me.

Hawkfire busied herself with watching Cedarbelly. She noticed that the elder had grown scrawny in the past few sunrises, and that his light brown pelt was ragged and unkempt. His sneezing and wheezing had also grown more intense. Do I look like that? she wondered to herself. Hawkfire, suddenly feeling self-conscious, began furiously grooming her fur. She didn't stop until her pelt was lying perfectly flat and not a speck of dust was on it, a hairball tickling her throat.

She gulped it down and meowed shrilly, "Dazedpaw! Get me some fresh-kill!" After several heartbeats, Fuzzypaw padded inside with a small squirrel.

"This was all that was left," she murmured when she saw the look of disgust on Hawkfire's face.

"Ugh, whatever. It'll suffice." She bit into it hungrily, trying to not make faces as she chewed on the stiff, cold meat. It felt like leather slipping down down her throat when she would swallow a piece. She finally finished it after a while and rested her muzzle on the soft feather lining of her nest, drifting off into an uncomfortable sleep.