𝓣𝓮𝓮𝓷 𝓕𝓲𝓬𝓽𝓲𝓸𝓷 𝓡𝓮𝓼𝓾𝓵𝓽𝓼

Màu nền
Font chữ
Font size
Chiều cao dòng

Hey guys!
Here are the list of the romance winners. If your name is here, please, D.m me privately on how to get your stickers, theme pics and other gifts.

How Do I Get My Prices?

1♥️ Message this account.
2♥️ Mention your position and genre.
3♥️ Mention your email.

𖣔𖣔𖣔✵✵✵𖣔𖣔𖣔


WATTPAD EMMY AWARD TEEN FICTION RESULT;


BETTER DAYS AHEAD

Title: 10/10

Cover: 7/10

Blurb: 8/10

Opening Chapter: 2/10

Grammar: 5/15

Writing Style: 3/5

Originality: 10/15

Plot: 7/10

Enjoyment: 4/10

Genre relevance: 4/5

TOTAL: 60/100

Position: 6th

REVIEW: Title is good. Cover is okay, but the font is a little hard to read. Maybe it could have a bit more brightness to it too? The cover almost looks historical and on first glance nothing suggests it’s historical so maybe look again at it? The blurb is good, just the last couple of sentences feel a little awkward with a small error.

Within the first chapter I noticed a lot of issues surrounding the speech: some places had commas where you’ve already got punctuation marks. Some places you use commas when you shouldn’t because you’re using action tags and not dialogue tags (meaning dialogue needs to end in a full stop) A couple of places there’s no speech marks so it took me a few reads to understand it was speech.

I also noticed there’s no emotions. She’s being beaten by her step father. That would be PRETTY emotional – and it’s just void of anything. Especially within the first chapter, you want to really hook readers in. I feel nothing right now.

It’s very info-dumpy. I would suggest weaving some of this characterisation through the narrative. Especially as one moment she’s being abused, the next second she’s telling us about her Mum. It feels really choppy. The flashback you could also probably weave through – it feels a bit random so maybe link it better?

A few minor spelling errors. Some names aren’t capitalised as well, so just watch out for that.

So it’s all feeling a little dialogue heavy in chapter 2. I’d look at breaking this up with some descriptions and emotions etc. All as I suggested above really.

At the end of ch2 I’m confused as to why she made her stepfather lunch when he isn’t home? Just a minor plot hole there.

I felt chapter 3 was an improvement overall. There are some nice descriptions in there. I’d work using these as a base.

Overall: the plot has some promise. It just really needs some restructuring and some really focused editing. It’s a dramatic piece that is meant to really hit home to the readers, and unfortunately right now it’s not doing that because of the lack of descriptions and emotions. When working on an abuse plot, you REALLY REALLY need to work with emotions. There are unfortunately none right now, so not only does it not hit the reader where it’s meant to, it doesn’t seem REAL or realistic, which it needs to really. Other errors are outlined above to really elevate that writing. However, the plot has a really good promise. Good luck!

CURSIVE IN THE CLOUDS

Title: 10/10

Cover: 6/10

Blurb: 3/10

Opening Chapter: 2/10

Grammar: 13/15

Writing Style: 3/5

Originality: 15/15

Plot: 8/10

Enjoyment: 5/10

Genre relevance: 5/5

TOTAL: 70/100

Position: 4th

REVIEW: Title is good! The cover is okay, but I can’t read the writing in the middle and it’s a little bland. I’d maybe look at different covers? The blurb is generally okay, however there are lots of long sentences, unnecessary repetition and a few grammatical issues. This sentence: “until a stalker pops up and a whole bunch of other shit” < this really doesn’t tell me much. I’d relook at your blurb to be honest, while it does its job it really doesn’t feel “professional” or engaging.

The first chapter is very “this happened then Florence did this” and while I can see some great beginnings of descriptions, there aren’t a lot of them to make me HOOKED.

I’m noticing maybe you could paragraph breaks like: ~~~ or *** to really distinguish them because at some points they feel too close together.

There is A LOT happening in this first chapter. Like—three different massive events. Now, the chapter isn’t a large one, but there’s A LOT of plot points coming together. I personally don’t think everything should happen this quick. I’d maybe use the first chapter to really dig into this mystery of who her father is. No one, literally no one is going to suddenly go OMG IM A GREEK MYTHOLOGY PRINCESS after reading an article. It’s unrealistic, it’s unbelievable and you can use this mystery to hook your readers in instead. I know this is an unrealistic plot anyway but when unbelievable things happen you don’t just accept it like Florence did.

I can’t see many grammar/spelling errors so well done! I also like the dialogue as well, it reads realistic most of the time.

Overall: this plot is lovely. I really engaged with the plot. I just think you need to work on the points above: slow it down, make paragraph breaks, add some descriptions and emotions. It doesn’t need to ALL happen at ONCE. Leave some airs of mystery, really HOOK those readers in and THEN start the plot. To be honest, I really, really wanted to sit and read the whole thing however the way the pacing and lack of descriptions honestly makes me want to wait until these things are fixed to read on. So keep going because you really do have something with serious potential!

THE BRADFORD ACADEMY

Title: 10/10

Cover: 9/10

Blurb: 7/10

Opening Chapter: 3/10

Grammar: 7/15

Writing Style: 2.5/5

Originality: 7/15

Plot: 5/10

Enjoyment: 4/10

Genre relevance: 5/5

TOTAL: 59.5/100

Position: 7th

REVIEW: Title is good. Cover is nice, just a little dark (maybe turn up the brightness on the picture maybe?). Blurb is good I just kind of want more. It feels a bit… bare right now, theres also a tiny error: ‘intrigues’ should be without the s.

There’s a point in the prologue where you put ‘tho’ instead of ‘though’.

So the way you start your chapters is really cliché and overdone. I would look at changing it up from the ‘I woke up’ trope. There is nothing wrong with starting differently and in the middle of an action scene. I also noticed you have essentially explained to us again in chapter 1 that her mum is dead, dad can’t/won’t speak. We know this from the prologue, you don’t need to add it again. Either take it out of chapter 1 or get rid of the prologue.

Some grammatical errors throughout and some awkward wording choices. Some dialogue also doesn’t have punctuation.

The way the Grandma talks doesn’t sound realistic, I would look into this a bit more.

Why would they lie about money to a kid who is basically running a family? Why would the grandfather lie about being a bus driver and the uncle be giving them money? None of this is honestly making sense. And why would they ask her if she’s chosen her subjects two seconds after dropping all this info on her? I’d look at chapter 1 again because it feels like there are so many plot holes and it’s all happening at once.

There’s not a lot of description and emotions either, so I would look at that. Especially her emotions to being told all of this. Confusion, upset, that kind of thing.

In ch2 the breakfast is already on the table to eat but the grandma sends her upstairs to pack. – it’s these little bits that just need editing up that distracts the reader.

There’s lots of tense changing throughout from past to present.

Overall: I like the plot. It’s intriguing. But the various plot holes at the start along with the lack of characterisation/description just bring it down a little. With these fixed this would be so much better. My suggestion would be to read more—see how other author’s describe and characterise. Get a feeling for how others do it and you’ll naturally improve. Good luck!

YOU ARE THE ONE FOR ME

Title: 10/10

Cover: 8/10

Blurb: 8/10

Opening Chapter: 3/10

Grammar: 10/15

Writing Style: 2/5

Originality: 8/15

Plot: 6/10

Enjoyment: 4/10

Genre relevance: 5/5

TOTAL: 64/100

Position: 5th

REVIEW: I love the title. The cover is good. I think the ‘are the one for’ could be a little bigger though. Blurb is good. I kind of think “the one for me” sounds a little awkward though and maybe it could be “the one”.

I like the start, it’s simple and effective.

When you describe her emotions for the new school, you have the start here. I’d however delve DEEPER into it though. Right now I’m being TOLD how she feels excited, scared etc. I’d like to be shown to really make me feel for her.

There’s too many POV changes within the chapter, and they’re really short snapshots as well. As a reader this can get extremely distracting. I’d stick to one per chapter. The POV’s unfortunately feel the same as well. I’d try and find some distinction between them. Descriptions would help with this—the way they describe things, the emotions they feel etc

Some of the dialogue doesn’t have commas or punctuation marks to complete it when it needs it.

Overall: The story has so much promise and the characters are what is leading this to be a good plot! I think it needs some work to really shine and bring that plot out though. Some descriptions and deeper characterisation (and some tighter work on the POV changes) as I’ve suggested above would really help here! Good luck!

 THE BAD BOY PROTECTS ME

Title: 3/10

Cover: 4/10

Blurb: 4/10

Opening Chapter: 5/10

Grammar: 6/15

Writing Style: 3/5

Originality: 3/15

Plot: 4/10

Enjoyment: 4/10

Genre relevance: 4/5

TOTAL: 40/100

Position: 9th

REVIEW: The title is a bit bland, overused. But does its job. The cover photo is fine but the font could be better. The blurb has some issues in terms of grammar and tensing issues.

I like how you start with her reflection on what’s happening to her.

There are some tense issues where it changes here and there.

So far I like you handle the descriptions of what happened, and you start with some good emotive descriptons, but it could be better – maybe some imagery/similies/metaphors etc would work well as well?

Your dialogue doesn’t have punctuation at the ends where it needs it. Some of it isn’t capitalised either at the beginnings.

Unfortunately as the story progresses there’s a distinct lack of descriptions or imagery etc. Its all dialogue and action heavy which is a shame.

There’s no characterisation either, apart from there’s rumours about Avery and that Hailey is a virgin. This unfortunately makes the characters flat and plot flatter. I’d consider adding in some of their characteristics. Any tics, behaviours, ways of talking etc.

Overall: the plot is very cliché and while cliches aren’t a bad thing, the fact that there are relatively no descriptions or distinction between characters makes it fall into that bad cliché sort of vibe. There’s a lot of errors and things that need working on in order for this to stand out unfortunately. However once all of that is sorted you could be good! Everything feels a little one dimensional right now and with all the suggestions above I think could be fixed. I’m really sorry to say all of this, but hopefully you use it to work with and make your story shine!

LOVE AGAIN

Title: 10/10

Cover: 10/10

Blurb: 9/10

Opening Chapter: 8/10

Grammar: 9/15

Writing Style: 3.5/5

Originality: 12/15

Plot: 9/10

Enjoyment: 8/10

Genre relevance: 4/5

TOTAL: 82.5/100

Position: 2nd

REVIEW: Title/cover are just gorgeous. The blurb is really good, just a slight error with grammar in the first sentence after the first dialogue.

Your descriptions are just lovely. Really lovely.

I did find ‘breath-taking attractive clouds clouding over’ in ch1 to be slightly awkward. I get what you’re trying to say though!

I noticed in some of the dialogue you don’t use a comma/full stop etc.

Some of the paragraphs feel a little awkward, like when you’re talking about the lip balm. You can cut that down by just saying once how her lips are chapped and her colleague hands her the balm. The reader will know why, so you can keep that kind of thing to a minimum :D

There are some tense changes throughout.

The POV change was nicely done. I did notice a lot of the wordiness (like with the lip balm) with the Christmas decorations here.

The third chapter feels very dialogue heavy, so maybe you could add some more description in here along with some dialogue tags that incorporate more action?

Overall: I engaged with this plot really well. I think with some minor editing it could be even better. I also think with the prologue’s AMAZING descriptions and scene, there could be some more of this hinted at through the first chapters? I’m assuming the prologue has already happened before this point here. But if it’s not (and it’s in the future) you could probably make that obvious by placing a time stamp on the prologue. With what happened in the prologue, it’ll have an extreme effect which is why I’m wondering it might be in the future relative to the first chapter? Anyway, you know what I mean hopefully XD

Either way, a good and promising plot with some good characterisations. You’re off to a good start!

STREETLIGHTS

Title: 9/10

Cover: 1/10

Blurb: 2/10

Opening Chapter: 1/10

Grammar: 3/15

Originality: 2/15

Writing Style: 1/5

Plot: 1/10

Enjoyment: 1/10

Genre Relevance: 2/5

TOTAL: 23/100

Position: 11th

REVIEW:

Title is good. The cover makes this look like an erotica and it’s a teen fiction book, so it feels inappropriate.

With the blurb; the extract is far too long and with too many errors - the tiny bit at the end does tell me a little but not enough to make me want to click and read.

I would really get rid of the “*alarm ringing* as the first line. The wake up routine as a start doesnt pull me in and it’s an overused trope in writing. If you’re going to use it, I would describe the alam ringing instead of stage instructions.

In some speech you use no speech marks, yet in others you use them to start but not finish. You need to use speech marks: “Like this,” the judge said. “In EVERY episode of speech.”

There’s lots of grammatical errors/spelling errors with missing apostrophes.

Unfortunately there’s no descriptions in the piece at all so I get NO feeling of Gina, our main character, or her surroundings or feelings. Along with this i’m not getting any characterisation or imagery within the piece, making the writing feel flat and (im so sorry to say this) boring.

There are some places where the wording becomes quite awkward and confusing.

At the moment, though there ARE paragraph breaks, there isnt enough room between the page markers and the writing so it feels like one big chunk - I would just make some more room between them. Along with the lack of speech marks, right now the writing just feels so lengthy and detaching.

There are tense changes throughout.

I noticed there are some chapter mix ups with them being in the wrong place. You can fix those, and honestly you need to.

Overall: I’m going to be honest here and I am so sorry. I dont know what the plot is. I have a small idea from the tiny blurb but the way this is mainly formatted  right now just leaves me confused. With some proper formatting it would be much, much easier to read. The bits I did decipher shows me that you have the beginnings of something good here. You just need to practice and get some more experience. I would suggest reading tons - other Wattpad writers, more traditional books and see how it’s done. You’ll naturally pick up some more tips and your writing will naturally get better. You also need to work on descriptions and characterisation work as well as the grammar/spelling. Good luck!

HAZEL’S HITCHHIKER

Title: 10/10

Cover: 10/10

Blurb: 8/10

Opening Chapter: 4/10

Grammar: 13/15

Originality: 12/15

Writing Style: 2.5/5

Plot: 6/10

Enjoyment: 5/10

Genre Relevance: 5/5

TOTAL: 75.5/100

Position: 3rd

REVIEW: Lovely title and blurb.

The blurb is good. Though, my only suggestion with the blurb is to get rid of so many questions at the end. I kind of think it could be cut after the first question: leaving a little mystery in the air. It’s quite long with all these questions in so it would just be so much punchier if it was condensed I feel.

There is LOTS of preface stuff: I would suggest condensing it to one chapter for aesthetics/playlist. You dont need a long synopsis - thats what the blurb is for! Not really marking you on this, I just wanted to raise it!

In the first chapter, the POV changes too quickly. Especially for a hook, i wanted to get to know Joey so much more than i did.

I noticed a few tense changes in Hazel’s pov. Though i like the way you wove in her memory with her father into her speech.

There are a few instances of awkward grammar like “I and the boys” (example) should be “the boys and I/me”

I’m not sure why the story has a whole chapter in Joey’s pov and then goes to the next chapter and it’s cut in half again. It’s really quite disruptive as a reader. I’d stick to one whole chapter per POV and stop flitting, I’ve found because of this that sometimes the POV feels the same and I’m getting confused. I’ve also found that because of this I don’t know a lot about Hazel, which as a second MC we really do need to know about her.

I like Joey’s storyline, we get to know him quite well.

Overall: a really interesting story. Unfortunately, though i dont know much about Hazel as a main character and i feel a bit disconnected. This can be remedied by adding more of her POV and changing the structure of the way you do these changes. It would also help to give her more distinction. But a good beginning and a good premise! Good luck!

HIS GEM

Title: 7/10

Cover: 6/10

Blurb: 4/10

Opening Chapter: 4/10

Grammar: 3/15

Originality: 6/15

Writing Style: 1/5

Plot: 6/10

Enjoyment: 2/10

Genre Relevance: 5/5

TOTAL: 44/100

Position:8th

REVIEW:

The blurb though good, has a lot of grammatical/word issues so personally, it wouldnt pull me in.

Immediately i can see that you end every dialogue with a full stop. When using things like “I mumbled” you need to end the dialogue with a comma and use the mumbled as the dialogue tag.

A lot of awkward wording choices like “making you wait for long” that need editing. For example “he didnt listened to me” < it would be listen.

You’ve got the beginnings of great description here -- it just needs to be in more depth. I’m also not getting much characterisation within the first chapter which is so important. Right now it’s very “i did this and then this happened” with some beginnings of description dotted in. I kind of wanted more OOMPH.

The later half of the first chapter fell a little flat. There are some great instances where you can add emotions but the whole thing was dialogue heavy and telling not showing. I’d re-look at these scenes.

You dont need to censor out the word ‘whore’.

Overall: your premise is interesting. Though it’s a little cliche (this is not a bad thing) you make it original by adding a Korean plot/setting which you dont see a lot of, so it was interesting. Unfortunately, I couldnt really *personally* enjoy it as a judge because of the amount of errors and the constant “i did this and then this” style of writing. We need much more descriptions and emotions because right now I don’t feel connected to the characters, which is really crucial. I’d suggest reading up on English language rules a little more and getting your wording practice in and come back to edit. You have a good, promising premise though, good luck!

BENEATH HER FACADE

Title: 9/10

Cover:9 /10

Blurb: 7/10

Opening Chapter: 5 /10

Grammar: 5 /15

Originality: 8/15

Writing style: 2/5

Plot:7 /10

Enjoyment: 3/10

Genre relevance: 5/5

TOTAL: 60/100

Position: 6th

REVIEW: Title and cover are nice. The blurb is okay, but doesn’t give me a lot about the plot - maybe try and hook us in some more?

Immediately, I can see that you need spaces after every comma you use.

The prologue is intriguing, but the ‘life sucks’ statement takes us out of 3rd person pov and i think it may be more striking to start with the coffin being lowered.

The opening is okay, but the errors are distracting, and it’s quite cliche with the staring into the mirror thing. However, i like the way you contrast it with emotions to give us a little characterisation.

The writing style is okay, I just want some more depth in there. I can see the potential for really emotive writing here, but it just falls a little flat because of the way it’s “this happened and I did this” rather than focusing on the finer details.

When i opened ch4, I noticed “sitted” - this isnt a word. Also, unfortunately both the POVs feel the same. I get no distinction between Gift and Jameela. I’d advise looking into ways to make them feel separate.

Overall: a good premise with lots of promise. I think it just needs a really, really good edit and it’ll shine. Good luck!

JUST A FRIEND

Title: 7/10

Cover: 8/10

Blurb: 7/10

Opening Chapter: 4/10

Grammar: 10/15

Originality: 10/15

Writing style: 2/5

Plot: 6/10

Enjoyment: 3/10

Genre relevance: 3/5

TOTAL:60 /100

Position: 6th

REVIEW: The blurb is good, however there are some awkward wordings in there, and it could be fleshed out a little bit more? There are a lot of questions in there when you could tell us more about the plot itself if that makes sense.

The very first dialogue should be a question mark. I’ve noticed this a few times throughout the chapter. There’s some typos throughout the story.

I’m a little confused to be honest, I had to read a few parts again. The opening chapter is how they meet? Yet she just almost jumps at him to do random things (as if she knows him) The blurb suggests that they’re friends already and they don’t really act like they get on. So far I just don’t see their chemistry - I’m hoping it gets better.

How old are these characters as well? I dont get teen fiction from this but their ages arent mentioned?

You’ve put in ch2 that it’s the 22nd century? Is this set in the future or a typo? I’m assuming a typo because it feels like it should be done in recent (non covid lol) times.

Okay the kiss on the lips I’m not really buying.I dont know I’m personally confused with these two. I just… they met the day before, their first encounters were he gave off weird vibes about her (he was overwhelmed by her) and the blurb is telling me that they are best friends. Unless of course there’s another character - but I’m only seeing Christian as Hanna’s love interest here. It’s all just a little not-fleshed out for me to buy them as friends or lovers. I can see them becoming lovers, but the blurb says friends into lovers. I think some more groundwork needs to happen for me to believe it all. They’ve known each other one day and it all seems quick for friends to lovers.

Overall: it’s a good premise, I think it just needs fleshing out.

THE GAME:

Title: 9/10

Cover: 2/10

Blurb: 1/10

Opening Chapter: 1/10

Grammar: 10/15

Originality: 9/15

Writing style: 1/5

Plot: 1/10

Enjoyment: 2/10

Genre relevance: 3/5

TOTAL:39 /100

Position: 10th

REVIEW: Title is good. The cover doesn’t quite go with the blurb and the font isn’t that great. The blurb tells me absolutely nothing about the plot of the characters. In a blurb we want to know the character, the plot.

A new speaker needs a new line.

The opening is okay - it gives us the characters but it’s very very telling and now showing. There’s a lack of description and it feels a little flat because of that.

You use “a girl of my age” but I dont know this persons name or age so i’m a little confused. The whole chapter all I know the name of is the sister Hilda which if I’m honest leaves me not wanting to turn to the next chapter because I don’t care about her. I dont know age, name, characteristics or anything.

It’s suggested that her name is Bakarre in chapter 2, however it’s also seen that the character’s father is called that - so I’d make it more obvious what her name is?

Overall: I’m really sorry to say but I don’t get this plot. It’s not given in the blurb and going in blind is quite confusing. It SEEMS to be a Nigerian teen slice of life story which could be interesting. But there’s not anything to give us a plot. The character is introduced to us fully too late and therefore I’m not feeling hooked. The writing hasnt got any descriptions or literary devices so it’s feeling quite bland.

I would suggest doing some more reading around description and literary devices like metaphors, similies and imagery and practicing more, because this could be an interesting read with some reworking. Good luck!

FILOFOBISK

Title:10 /10

Cover: 10/10

Blurb: 10/10

Opening Chapter: 10/10

Grammar: 15/15

Originality: 15/15

Writing style: 5/5

Plot: 10/10

Enjoyment: 10/10

Genre relevance: 5/5

TOTAL: 100/100

Position: 1st

REVIEW: The title and cover are just wow. I like how it’s unique and the blurb shows us that the title is a translation. The blurb is enough to tell us exactly what is going to come. Seems like a really unique story!

Love the opening chapter - it introduces us to the main characters perfectly, gives us some great characterisation and gives us the plot really well.

I like how Elka is strong-minded and despite her friends telling her to find someone, she stands up to them and knows her own mind. Great main character!

The descriptions are great as well, you give us enough but not too much either.

I didnt see any errors so well done!

The friends all bounce off each other so well and you can see instantly their places within the group/house as well. It’s so well crafted.

Overall: this is such a unique story: one that really needs to take off more than it has. It’s so unique in plot and characters that feel REAL - characters with strong personalities who know what they want and go to get it. I read all of it and honestly, the character growth and development is just wonderful. Elka is a genuine, strong girl and her story is really unique and poignant. Well done!

***

FIRST PLACE GOES TO....

FILOFOBISK BY _thasli_

SECOND PLACE GOES TO...

LOVE AGAIN BY Mzschivious_kookies

THIRD PLACE GOES TO...

HAZEL'S HITCHHIKER BY JustinW11

                ༄𖣔𖣔𖣔✵✵✵𖣔𖣔𖣔༄

Congratulations winners! 🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳We are proud of you!! Don't feel disheartened if you book didn't appear here. We feel you guys are so talented and this is just a stepping stone.

To all winners, you can have your stickers through the way mentioned above. If you don't know how to add them to your book cover, feel free to message this account.
Thank you.

Madinah_Writes

Notice: The following results are from the participants that followed me. The other results would be out gradually as your judge(s) are still working on it.
If you haven't seen your book here, This is just the badge one. The competition continues.
















Bạn đang đọc truyện trên: Truyen2U.Pro