Chapter 38: Final Goodbye
~

I slept easily through the night, at least, I didn't wake up repeatedly as I often did. However, my dreams were plagued by visions of Valdis, Sol's death and an array of other horrible things, but with my mate beside me, they eventually disappeared too.

Waking to the sound of Bjarke murmuring softly to Basjan, I kept the furs up to my nose and watched with a hidden smile. Little light streaked in from the window that was propped open, but the fire was burning bright and cast my males in a soft orange glow. Did Bjarke often speak to our son as if he understood? I had a feeling the answer was yes and that sent a rush of warmth through me.

"I'm not a very good cook but your mamma deserves some rest after yesterday doesn't she? No point dragging her through the snow to the hall when she can have burnt porridge here," my mate grumbled by the fire, shaking his head at Basjan who was listening intently. "She'll enjoy it anyway I think. I once watched her lick apple juice from her fingers all covered in mud."

I tried not to laugh, following the tattooed patterns on his back with my eyes while he spoke. This huge, bear of a Beta would never be seen the same way by the pack if they'd seen him the way I did. And secretly, I was pleased nobody else got to. This was my wolf, my male, a part of him just for me and our pup.

"A lazy wolf too though, she's been awake for a while and hasn't so much as greeted us good morning." I heard the smirk in his tone as my cheeks flushed red.

Sitting up, I smiled as he turned to see me. "I didn't want to interrupt your bonding with our son over all my faults."

He looked a little guilty, his gaze shifting over to our son who now had a cheeky smile on his face. Gurgling loudly, he began to wriggle on his back, hands fisting the air in the universal sign for 'pick me up'. I left the warmth of the bed to get him, grinning as he smiled again.

Pulling my son into my arms, I sat beside my mate, head resting against his leg. His fingers stroked through my hair as he dished out porridge. When I went to move to take it, he pulled me back against his leg. Another smile, I loved that he wanted to feed me from his own hand. Basjan was hungry too and I sat back a little so he could have breakfast as well.

Bjarke fed me slowly and I rumbled in appreciation. "It's not burnt."

"No." He chuckled, tasting it himself. "Still not as good as Hagan's though."

He was right there but I didn't say so. Anything he cooked with his own hands meant everything to me. Especially as he waited to eat himself only when I was full. Licking my lips, I savoured the taste and rubbed Basjan's back as he fed, shifting him a little. Nobody had warned me that breastfeeding could be painful but I could grit my teeth and bear it.

"You seem settled," my mate noted, watching me carefully.

Shrugging, I wasn't sure what to say in reply. I knew today would be hard, and yesterday had definitely left its scars, but I wasn't afraid anymore. The fear of Valdis ripping this new life from me had been extinguished the moment I'd seen him with has fangs torn out. He would die today. There was no second chance for him.

Hopefully Katrin would be alright taking Basjan while the pack dealt with our prisoners. My stomach rolled at the thought, but not in disgust, and that realisation made me feel a little cold inside. I was excited to finally see these wolves punished, what did that make me?

A gentle rumble from my mate drew me from my thoughts and I closed my eyes.

"I'm alright. Still waking up." I could worry about the rest of the day later. For now, I would feel content in sharing the morning with my mate and pup.

Once Basjan had finished eating, Bjarke took him so I could get dressed. I wore my best dress, the new one from Katrin and my mother that was thick and warm. Touching my hair, I decided to try to wear it how the females in the pack did. I pretended not to see my mate smile in approval as I fumbled with braids and leather cord.

It wasn't neat by any means but I'd done them, by myself.

Bjarke stood from his stool to gather the furs and I stood feeling only a little uncertain. "Do I look alright?"

He turned, casting his gaze over the length of me in a way that made a thrill of excitement shoot through me. Slow and greedy, his eyes took in everything.

"You always look beautiful, Freydis. Today you look like a Beta of our pack as well."

I beamed, his praise straightening my back. He always knew what to say.

Throwing furs over my shoulder, I helped tie Basjan to Bjarke's chest. He should have looked odd with a tiny pup in his arms, but he didn't. If anything, our pup made him look even bigger, fiercer.

We headed out into the snow together and I linked my arm through his to steal a little of his warmth. It wasn't snowing and the air was still but that icy scent still burned my lungs with every breath. Soft snow had compacted and frozen into slabs of ice that crunched noisily with ever step.

"I can't wait for spring," I murmured, craving scents of fertile soil and blooming flowers, the chase of rabbits and deer that I could now take time to enjoy because my life wasn't dependant on catching them.

It was still beautiful in winter at least.

Bjarke suddenly shifted, pushing me to walk on his other side and at first I was confused till I caught a glimpse of movement at the other side of the village.

Wolves were crowded by the river but Bjarke wouldn't let me linger long enough to see why. His chest angled towards me, shielding my gaze as he guided me straight to the hall. But those wolves had been warriors, the strongest in the pack, I'd noticed that much. Bjarke probably should have been with them but I had the feeling it would be a while before he was comfortable letting me out of his sight again. And I felt the exact same way. 

The hall was crammed full this morning. Most of the pups were all gathered together at the far end by one of the fires. Toys and small games littered the floor around them. Distractions, I realised, from whatever was going on outside.

"You're here," my mother's voice rang out and she wound her way through the pack to greet me. Her warm cheek pressed against mine and she began ushering me to the table to sit.

Only Fenna sat there as well and she still looked a little worse for wear. The bruise on her cheek was an ugly black but she still smiled when she saw me.

"How are you?" I asked quietly.

She grinned, her eye squinting a little. "A little bruised up but I'm okay. Aljana wanted me to tell you that your twins are both doing better."

"They aren't my twins," I began to protest before shaking my head. "I'm glad they're okay."

I didn't want them seeing anything today either but imagined Aljana and Madden had already thought of that. Hopefully they'd be kept in the hut or brought to the hall with the pups. Maybe I should decide to stay with them too. Katrin was already taken Basjan from Bjarke and smiled over at me as I watched her take him towards the other pups.

I bristled a little, fingers twitching with the need to take him back.

"You did your hair."

I glanced up at my mother, touching a stray braid. "I did."

She smiled and sat beside me, leaving Bjarke to hover awkwardly behind us. I was right. He wasn't going anywhere today.

Taking my hand in hers, Signy squeezed gently. "It won't be too long now, then we can put all the bad stuff behind us."

I hoped she was right but the more I thought about watching executions, the more unsure I felt. A mother-wolf could sense that of course, and she cupped my chin in her hand to catch my gaze. She didn't need to ask, I could see the question in her eyes and struggled to put words to how I was feeling.

"I don't know if I want to watch them die," I admitted quietly, shifting as my mother frowned. "Not because I won't like it, but because I'm afraid I will. I'm afraid I'll enjoy it because I want to taste their blood in the air, I want to look them in the eye when they die. What does that make me? No better than them."

My mother was quiet for so long, I feared she was disgusted with me, disappointed even. I kept my gaze on the floor, feeling sick with my own confession. Bloodthirsty, feral, I was still those things and I didn't think I'd ever be otherwise, not truly. Neither would the twins. We'd all have that instinct in us because at one point, it had been what kept us alive.

"It makes you Wulver, Freydis. It makes you a female who was hurt and wants to see justice. This is our way of life. It's pack and family, tooth and claw, life and death and those that threaten our peace can't be allowed to live. If you want to take any of their throats for yourself, it's your right to and nobody would think bad of you."

Honesty shone in her eyes and I took her words and clutched them tight. She pulled me into a hug, stroking my hair as she breathed in my scent. I wrapped my arms around her, doing the same.

"My Freydis."

"Your Beta Female," Bjarke added from behind us.

My mother chuckled her agreement. "Indeed. And now it's time to see to the pack. Are you coming?"

"Yes, but I don't want to. . .take part." I looked over at my mate. "I don't want either of us to be tainted by them."

My mate's jaw clenched and he stared a hole into the space over my shoulder. I didn't think he'd react like this, I thought he'd understand that I didn't want that blood on my hands, or his. His silence dragged on and I slumped when I realised he had no intention of answering me. I didn't want to push him, so I rose from the bench and went to kiss my son before I followed my mother and the other wolves making their way outside. 

I took my place near the front and wolves parted to let me pass. Their fingers and touches urged me on, helping me to keep my head up. The bond twitching and tingles running up my spine told me that Bjarke had followed. Turning my head a little, I could see him standing behind me with his arms folded, fangs in clear view of the rogue wolves about to meet their fates.

The Pack's prisoners looked beaten, bloody and broken, bowing before the wolves that snarled at them. Valdis however, knelt with his back straight, eyes locked on mine. He could have been smirking but his mouth was so swollen it was hard to tell. His skin had been covered in black bindrunes, symbols that made me step back despite not understanding their meaning. But I could guess. They were my brother's promise to me. The runes that would keep him from entering the halls of his ancestors. Or any hall. So where would his spirit go?

My father stepped up before us with a deadly knife in his hand. Orin stood on his left and his eyes gleamed with violence. I swallowed, preparing myself for what I was about to see as our Alpha called out the crimes these wolves were guilty off. Closing my eyes, I blocked out the sound of his voice so I wouldn't have to hear and picture exactly what had been done to me and others. Valdis was being left for last, forced to watch the wolves he'd once led die.

"Take a slow breath, my love," Bjarke murmured, his breath fanning over my shoulder. I leaned back against him and did as he said, peeling my eyes open again.

Alpha Jakkon stalked behind the first wolf and my fingers twitched, eyes glued to the knife. The darker creature in me pushed at the boundaries, demanding I step forward. In the end, I had to look away as my father doled out his punishment on each wolf. Breathing through my mouth so I couldn't smell the blood, I tried and resist the growing instincts of my fur.

My father handed the blade to Orin and my skin prickled with the awareness of eyes on me. My brother looked terrifying as he came to stand before me, splattered in blood with mismatched eyes glowing. It was time for Valdis to taste the pack's revenge.

"The last life is yours to take if you want it, sister." Orin offered the knife to me but I shook my head, making my final decision.

The moment I refused, Bjarke pushed his way forward but I grabbed his hand, pleading silently for him to say no too, despite knowing how much he wanted to be the one. Maybe it was selfish of me to force my mate to refuse what was his right as much as mine now.

Bjarke stared at me long and hard but still I didn't let him go.

"If I don't do it, Orin will. Are you going to ask him to refuse too?" There was an edge to his voice that sliced through me and it hurt. Bjarke resented my need to keep us out of this. To be only spectators. "They killed Sol too. Wounded our wolves. Your father. If they'd hurt Basjan-"

"Don't," I snapped, eyes stinging with tears. How could he even suggest it?

Valdis was enjoying this too. He loved watching the relationship with my mate strain, and I was the cause. When I still didn't let go, something in Bjarke melted to my will, eyes closing. Just as I was sure he would step back to my side and allow Orin to take over, Valdis started to laugh. A quiet chuckle at first, but soon his shoulders were shaking.

Blood dribbled past his lips and Jakkon grabbed a fistful of hair when he tried to shuffle closer to us. He coughed to clear his throat, his voice hoarse and words slurred. "She may be your mate, and you may have accepted her pup. But remember Beta, they were mine first. I had her first. You'll never be able to get rid of the marks I left."

I froze, but fire filled my veins. Bjarke was already fighting back his wolf and instead of trying to calm him down, I let him go. Brown eyes met mine in shock and then relief but my Beta didn't need any blade to take a life. He sprung forward, landing on four legs with hackles raised as he growled his intentions. Valdis didn't waver for a second, he kept his head held high as the huge grey and brown wolf stalked towards him. Eye to eye, they both watched each other with a shared understanding. Then Bjarke pounced.

Bones crunched, blood sprayed out in a gruesome arc, and I watched every second. I breathed in deeply and caught the tang of copper on my tongue. My skin shifted as my wolf was tempted by the smell until I stood trembling as I tried to keep control.

Valdis tried to fight, raking his claws down Bjarke's side but he didn't stand a chance; especially without fangs. The pair rolled, growls and yelps filling the air, then a whimper as Bjarke struck for Valdis' throat. My mate raged at the wolf that struggled wildly beneath him until a loud snap rang through the air. My heart skipped a beat. Valdis went limp, open eyes staring blankly right at me and a shiver went up my spine.

Bjarke tossed the body away with little dignity and turned with blood dripping from his mouth, eyes an even darker shade of red that locked onto me. I was rooted to the spot as he stalked his way back to my side and nudged his head against my hip, guiding me away from the scene. I didn't resist, squeezing Orin's hand when it came out to help me slowly turn back to the hall. 

"It's over now," I whispered, sinking my fingers into my mate's fur as I stumbled. It had to be wrong to feel such relief at the death of another but a great weight had lifted from my shoulders and it was if I was breathing easily for the first time.

A hysterical laugh slipped from my lips, and another before I clamped my hand over my mouth. Yet my eyes were filling with tears and the next sound was broken. Bjarke shifted to skin and had me in his arms before I could blink. I clung onto him, my nails digging into his skin to keep me anchored. One arm around my waist, a hand in my hair trying to sooth. I swore to myself that this would be the last time I cried because of Valdis, or anything he'd done to me.

"It is over, my love."

***

Bright orange embers flickered into the glittering sky, rising higher and higher until they looked like red stars amongst silver and white. The heat of the fire kept the cold at bay but the breeze was so gentle, I'd almost forgotten we were in the middle of winter. Bjarke's hand rested on my waist, providing me with a little more strength than I felt I had.

I couldn't see Sol through the flames anymore and had to swallow past the lump that stuck in my throat. Letting out a sharp breath, I wiped my face dry with my sleeve as I whispered one last thank you to him.

He'd been carried down by the high ranked, four wolves that each held a corner of the wooden board his body rested on. I'd had nothing of value to offer him except the drawing I'd done of the tattoo he'd given me. I'd watched it catch fire when Jakkon raised a flaming torch to light the pyre.

The pack was quiet now, all except for one young female voice singing. I couldn't see who it was but her voice was haunting, ending on a note that was more of an eerie howl. A sound that was then taken up by the wolves closest to her, slowly moving round until the whole pack was calling out. The harmony made me shiver, goosebumps rising on my skin as I howled too. But I stopped short, freezing.

Shadows came away from the river and moved towards the fire, figures that were shrouded in something that fluttered in the wind. I blinked, trying to convince myself that what I was seeing was simply ash or shadows caused by stray flames. Bjarke squeezed my arm but my gaze never left the figures that I swore looked right at me before disappearing as the fire sparked, a loud bang that made me jump.

"Freydis, what's wrong?"

It was only then I realised my mate had turned me to face him. Glancing up at his face, my mouth moved but no sound came out. He'd think me mad if I told him what I'd seen but his frown was deepening the longer I remained stuttering.

"I've never heard wolves howl together like that. It was overwhelming." A half truth, enough that Bjarke relaxed and smiled, tugging me into his side.

"Our final goodbye," he told me, glancing up at the dark night sky. "They say when we all howl as one, even the great wolf joins us."

"Another one of your ancestors," I mused.

He smirked, squeezing my hip. "And yours on your father's side. A lot of the pack have stories that can trace their lineage to the first of our kind."

I shook my head. Now wasn't the time to joke but he didn't look like he was teasing. Was that what I'd seen? Valkyries or ancestors guiding Sol's soul to the afterlife? Grief kept my heart in its grip, a fear of losing more now that I had people to lose.

Fretting with my sleeve again, my gaze found Aljana and Madden, and the twins that huddled together behind them. Then to my family that stood on the other side of my Beta. My mother, father, brother and his mate. Katrin was in the hall with the pups, including Basjan. I'd make sure to treasure them all. My friends and family.

My pack.

Resting my head against Bjarke's chest, I closed my eyes. Tomorrow would be the beginning of something new, something better.