I woke up to the wind crossing against the curtains of my window, which created a flapping sound.
I must have forgotten to close the window before I accidentally fell into a deep sleep.

It was nighttime by now. The light in my room was very dim so I could see the objects around me, but not much clearly.

My eye fell on a familiar brown covered book which was placed on my bedside table.

It stood out to me since it was that book of mine where I would spill my secrets and pour my heart out whenever I would feel a strong emotion rippling inside me.

Anger, sadness, happiness, disappointment, numbness.

I sat up and rubbed my eyes before gently grabbing the book from where it was sitting, and turned on the bedside lamp.

I started flipping through the pages of the book.
Some were light and some were heavy as I had pasted a few pictures on them.
My good as well bad days, they were all captured in these pages.

My gaze stopped on a peculiar picture. It was a picture of the famous street art in Venice beach, California. I had always wanted to go there someday. There was just... something so attractive about the art there. It seemed so amazingly expressive of the artist.

I closed my eyes and tried to imagine myself there.

I could see myself, standing near one of the walls and admiring the art. I moved my hand against the wall where the artist's signature was signed.

The curtains flapped against the wind again, catching my attention. Sighing, I closed the book shut and put it aside. I then walked to the window. The view tonight was mesmerising. It was so quiet and peaceful. I liked seeing it like this.

My gaze involuntarily went down the window. It wasn't that high. I could even easily climb down with the help of a rope.

I chuckled lightly at my own thoughts.

If only. If only I could climb down and run away from here. Far away. California would be nice. It would all be so easy in my life then. But at the same time, it would be so difficult. My father would definitely send his men looking for me. And Anton would send his men too. To keep me.. captive again?

Waait.. where are my thoughts wandering today? Am I actually planning to run away?

No no noo.. it would be disastrous if I did that. It is, after all, just a thought.

I discarded all these intricate thoughts from my mind and focused on the mesmerising view of the night which, to my surprise, always seemed more beautiful and captivating to me than the night before. Maybe it was all in my head. But maybe, it wasn't. Confusing, isn't it?

~•~

"Death is not the end."

I've heard many wise, elder people say this phrase. But I don't quite understand it. If death is not the end, then what is? Of course, according to the Bible and other holy books, it's Heaven and Hell. But how do we know if they even are real?
People would say that you have to believe in God. But, I have never been much of a religious person.

That's why I am always in doubt. Is death the end?

I put down the pen and lean back in my chair, sighing.

Ever since I found out about my illness, it seems that my thoughts have become deeper. I am unknowingly pensive all the time, sitting, standing or even when working.

I am abruptly pulled out of my thoughts when there is a sudden knock on my door to which I respond, "Yes?"

"Your father is calling you down for dinner, Princess."

I knit my eyebrows in confusion.

It's not everyday we have dinner together. The last time we did wad last week and it wasn't very.. communicative.

After sending her off, I brace myself for an awkward dinner and then walk down to the dining room.

Father was already seated on his chair, waiting for me. He gave me a small smile which I returned then took my seat on the table.

It started with silence. Complete silence except the clanking of the spoons, which was getting annoying for me now.

Even though Chicken was one of my favourite dishes, I wasn't hungry today and that's why I had been playing with the food for 5 minutes now, occasionally taking a bite or two.

I took the glass of water on my right and brought it up to my lips.
That's when he finally spoke up.

"So.. Hope. We have fixed the date of the wedding."

As soon as he finished the sentence, I started choking on my water and also spilled some on the table.

"Hey hey! Are you okay?"

I slowly asked, "What did you say before?"

"Well, we have fixed the wedding date." The expression of his face said that he knew how I was about to react.

"What wedding? Whose wedding?"

He gave me a look. "You know whose."

I started shaking my head.
"No. No! Why do I still have to marry him when I'm gonna die soon?"

He shut his eyes at my words as if they had physically hurt him.

"Because you are my only daughter. And he has to take my place after me. He has to look after the kingdom. That's why." He replied.

"And he agreed?" I questioned with an are-you-serious look.
But it was of no surprise to me. After all, he only cared about ruling the kingdom.

"Well, I talked to his father and he said yes."

"But I say no." I declined him. "Please. This is the one thing I ask of you before I go."

I don't want to leave this world married to Anton Brown.

"And this is the one thing I ask of you before you go. Please. " He pleaded.

"I don't want to deal with this right now." I say and storm out of the dining room, heading for my bedroom.

Saying I was mad at him would be an understatement. I was furious and it was obvious since I had slammed my door shut after me with a loud thud.

I can't think clearly when I am angry. And the only place where I would find serenity is my balcony.

Biting my knuckles, I try to distract myself. But at last, my gaze dropped low to the ground and once again, another just a thought crossed my mind.

Should I? Or Shouldn't I?

~•~

Yes. Finally after ages, I have updated WAHAC!
Forgive me please, my beloved readers.