Dear Father,

Do you remember me? How's life? Do you remember us? The family you left behind. The sick mother. The depressed boy. The emotionally unstable kid. The crying baby. Do you remember us?

How is life with your new wife? I heard it's her birthday next week. Tell her I wish her a happy 25th birthday. Sometimes, people tell me that you look like her father. They say its gross. I find it repulsive. Not the age difference, but the way you just ditched us.

Mother loved you. I loved you. My brothers loved you. Why did you leave?

Were you cheating on mom this whole time? Were those business trips just excuses to see her? Those phone calls, were they from her? The times you and mom fought, was she the reason why?

I hate you.

I just felt that you needed to know that. After you left, mom became addicted to pain relievers. She would come home and abuse me. She never fed us. She said we were the reason you left her. She killed herself three weeks ago.

Zane started cutting again. He has to visit four psychologists and two therapists every week. Vylad is a different story. He always smiles. But I know that those smiles are fake. Sometimes at around midnight, I hear crying from his room. He's always wearing sweaters. I know why.

He has long cuts in his arms. On his legs. Everywhere. He doesn't stop. I can feel his suffering.

The only reason we are alive is because of our friends. I can't take it anymore. Two weeks ago, Vylad also started wearing a mask. I stole his mask when he was sleeping. He carved a smile onto his face. I cried that day. My heart broke. I can't take this anymore.

Vylad said he wasn't able to smile anymore, so he made his smile permanent. Zane hasn't gotten better. He has to take seven different medications everyday. He's become addicted to his medication. I'm scared.

Why did you leave? Was it for her? Did you not love us? Did you not love mom? Why?

I can't take this anymore. I can't stand hearing my brothers cry everyday. I can't stand seeing them suffer. I can't do this anymore.

I tried to stay strong for them. But I failed. When they fall asleep, I cut myself. It started with just one time, but I got addicted to the pain. I tried to kill Zane yesterday. I couldn't stand it anymore.

Zane was crying in his sleep so I tried to smother him with a pillow. However, Vylad saw me. He cried for me to stop. When I didn't stop, he threw a knife at me. I miss mom.

I can't do this anymore. I can't stand here and hurt my brothers. I can't live knowing that we drive you away. That we caused mom to kill herself. Zane went insane. Vylad went insane. I went insane a long time ago. I can't take it anymore.

This is why, this is my goodbye. Goodbye father. Goodbye world. Goodbye Zane. Farewell Vylad. I'll see you soon mom.

I tried to be strong but I couldn't. I was too weak. I failed to help my brothers. I tried to kill Zane. What's wrong with me?

Goodbye world.

Sincerly,
Garroth Ro'meave

P.S. Don't leave your new family. Don't let what happened to us, happen to them. Please.