"This is madness," Reverie muttered. She was pacing the training room, biting her nails to the nub. "I'm telling you, Jedediah. This is madness."

Jedediah was sitting on his chair, ever so serene. But his eyes were sharp and his lips were in a tight drawn line. She'd even say he was also panicking, even just a little.

"Do you have a better idea?" he asked calmly. He laced his fingers together, sighing heavily. "It is the only way, Reverie."

"The only way is by ensuing madness?"

"This whole situation of your coronation, of the rejection, and of the rebellion is the exact definition of madness," he hissed at her. "You will simply have to marry a girl from Lieru. Why is that so difficult?"

"Because she's from Lieru," Revy said, exasperated. "Isn't that reason enough?" Her fingers had begun bleeding. She didn't care.

"Really, Revy, if I said all the royals in this Kingdom were awful people, would you say yes?"

"Yes."

Jedediah sighed heavily. "Then that is where you are wrong."

"Isn't it the truth? Aren't they all awful people?"

"Is your brother an awful person?" he snapped.

She rolled her eyes. "Jed—"

"You cannot hate someone by the faults of their ancestors," he said. "If I judged you by the faults of your father, would you like that, Reverie? If I denied you the throne because your father and an unspeakable amount of your ancestors were tyrants... would you like that?"

"No," she grumbled. "It's different."

"How?" Jedediah pressed. "How?"

"Because I am different."

"That is exactly what your father said," Jedediah seethed. "And countless other Kings and Queens. They all believed they were different, every single one of them. They pledged and they promised and they failed."

She frowned. "What."

"They all wanted to change the world, Princess Reverie of Analide. And look what our Analide has become. I am not a fool."

Revy stopped pacing. Her fire stilled.

"But perhaps you are one," he spat out. "An even bigger one than I anticipated."

Her heart dropped. She couldn't believe what he just said. "Excuse me?" she managed to grind out. "What did you just say to me?"

"It surprises me how you are blinded—absolutely blinded by your entitlement, Reverie." Jedediah was sitting upright and staring at her with the deadliest, keenest eyes she had to face.

"I don't know what you mean."

"You talk about your father's prejudice... without realizing you have some of your own."

She stared at him for a long time. And Jedediah stared right back.

My... own?

"What do you mean?" she asked lowly.

"You refuse to marry a woman simply because she is from Lieru."

"And?"

"Dear Night, Reverie," he muttered. "Can't you see? Can't you see?"

When it was quiet again, Reverie couldn't stand it.

"I think it would be anyone's natural reaction to... be uncomfortable with the thought of marrying someone from a land of bloodshed and turmoil."

Jedediah let out a long, and frustrated sigh. He spread his hands. "You say that to cover for yourself. Admit it or not, Reverie, you have your own self-interests. You want the throne as yours. How does it feel like, knowing you have to share?"

Her hands began to tremble. "You don't know that," she whispered. But her fire had gone eerily still. Fuck.

He sighed again. "Do I, Reverie?" he asked. "Or don't you know that?"

Revy's blood went cold. "My own prejudice."

"I understand your ambition," Jedediah said. "I understand your thirst to change the world. But right now, you are being presented with that choice. You are being presented with the choice to put behind your silly dreams and expand them into something greater."

"My dream is not to become Queen," she snapped. She furrowed her eyebrows. "It has, and always will be, to serve."

"Again, Reverie," Jedediah's eyes gleamed. "Are you absolutely positive?"

Yes.

And then, a little voice. Gentler. Honest.

No.

"You want to be Queen to prove yourself to your father."

"That's not true." But her voice was flat and the ache in her chest had gone numb.

"Reverie," he said, his tone too gentle, "do not lie to me."

"I'm not lying."

"You are. You are lying to your heart."

Revy never felt so... small. So childish. So unknowing and dumb until today. It made her uncomfortable, and her pride trashed, but she tried to listen.

Jedediah seemed to notice that he was making her uncomfortable, because he continued. He rallied on, his words punching her in the gut. Scarring her. Awakening. "You want to be Queen to show your father your scars and your defiance and to tell him you've made it. This hatred for him... you've honed it into ambition. Am I correct?"

She nodded. The words stung. She hated them.

"Reverie, I have trained people. I have watched them grow and collapse under my care. If there is anyone in this Kingdom—anyone in the world who knows exactly what is going through your head—it would be me." Jedediah reached for her hand. She didn't resist him. She just looked down. Fuck.

"Reverie. If you continue to go down this path of hopeless, never-ending seeking... you will end up to be the people who have ruined you."

She forgot how to breathe.

"You do not have to make your father proud anymore," he said. Barrelled on even when her fire started trashing, started appearing on her hands and trying to tell him to stop. "You are not a child. You do not need saving anymore. You are not your father's daughter, Reverie. You are Queen Reverie of Analide, and that is why you must not kill her."

It sounded like he was begging.

"Her name is Mahalia Kallis. She has no one but her father. Reverie, if you trade her life for your throne, then what does that make you?"

She really forgot how to breathe now.

Jedediah gripped her hand tighter. "Look at me." And she did. "Listen to me, Reverie. The ends will never justify the means. Remember that." He gripped her hand tighter. She nodded.

"The ends will never justify the means," she echoed.

Jedediah nodded back, his eyes steel. "Carry that knowledge with you. Because even if at the end of this all, if your people eat well and the tyranny of Analide has come to an end—you will have blood of an innocent woman on your hands. And it will haunt you forever, Reverie of Analide. What difference does it make at the end of the day, if you have killed to get where you are? If you have repeated the mistakes of your ancestors and slaughtered your way to the crown?"

Revy felt like she wanted to cry.

"Do not let it."

She nodded.

"Reverie, you will be a different Queen," Jedediah whispered. "You will be a different Queen, and that begins with the steps you take to achieve that. You will not be Queen by murder."

Silence. Absolute silence. Her chest hurt. It felt like the world was closing in on her.

She couldn't do this. She had to go away. To think. She couldn't look at him anymore. She just wanted him to stop talking so she could digest everything he just suggested. Everything.

But Revy found the strength to nod, somehow. "I'll think about what to do," she said weakly.

Revy tugged back her hand. Jedediah let go.

"I pray to the Night that you make the right decision."

She didn't answer him, and left without being dismissed.

Her own prejudice. The ends do not justify the means. Seeking her father's approval.

Revy was never one to be proven wrong. And she had to admit that her pride recoiled from the thought of it. But... Was Jedediah right? Was she carrying with her a certain prejudice against Lieru? Certainly it would be justifiable? They were the land of colonizers and conquerors. They had laid waste to her Kingdom, tried to massacre her people—

Centuries ago, her fire whispered.

But that didn't change the fact they were still war-mongers. Awful people.

Analide is awful, too.

She bit down on her lip, her hands trembling from the times she's wrung them out and bit the dry skin off. Fuck. Her own prejudice. Fuck.

If she killed this woman from Lieru, she risked a war that the world hasn't seen until the rise of the Star Son. If she killed her, it would be a direct declaration of hostilities. Lieru would fight back with their two allies, and she'd subject her people to more bloodshed than this century would have seen. It also did nothing to stop the rebellion in the south. If Revy killed her, she would be a murderer. She would be killing an innocent woman, as Jedediah said, from Lieru or not.

But if Revy married her...

She felt the weight of the decision on her shoulders as her footsteps slowed. Her shoulders slumped and she saw it clearly now. The walls felt like they were closing in. The floor felt uneven.

But she walked.

If Revy looked past her... ambition... Jedediah was right. Her marriage with this woman would be a chance to solidify and end the feud between Kingdoms, further preventing the possibility of war—forever. If the people would riot against that, she could soothe them. She was Reverie. She could go out across the archipelago to reassure them, carry her banners and show them that this new, foreign Queen from Lieru wouldn't be so terrible.

If she wasn't so terrible.

Revy sighed heavily.

She didn't want to marry her. Her thoughts were a mess. Her boots on the marble were deafening.

But who would Revy be if she was selfish? She said it herself. She would serve the people, and there would be no better way to do that than on the throne—even if it meant she had to share.

"You're awfully quiet," she muttered to her fire.

Right decision!

"How do you know that?"

Just do!

"I thought you were on my side."

I am.

Grudgingly, Revy changed course. As she was walking back to her apartment she took a left instead of right.

Micah.

She had to talk to Micah. She swallowed her pride and buried it deep for the time being, because Micah would be her best companion with this. He was a mediator and a better person than she was. If there was anyone who would have Analide's best interest at heart as well—it would be him.

And then she would talk to Amber. And then she would talk to Zacchaeus. And then to the Council with her father to inform them of her decision. And then to whomever the hell can rearrange for her a journey to Lieru through the quickest route possible.

All for Analide.

Even when it hurt.

--

HELLOOOOO, LOVES!!!! i really really really enjoyed writing this chapter. revy arguing w jed and jed proving her wrong was very satisfying. based on personal experience, very uncomfortable but weLLL JED MEANS WELL 

i hope u guys liked this!! i'd appreciate some feedback, loves :>

also,, hello to @colourtastic14 who has been incredibly supportive. i can't wait to read more of your poems. i admire the way u write owo

that's all!! leave a vote and some feedback

- yannah :>