"If we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English," I told Lysander while hitting him repeatedly.

If you didn't know, we were in the principal's office. And I was wondering why I was dragged here by him. I kinda wanted to see him get in trouble with the principal. That would be an interesting thing to see during your lunchtime.

"Dude, relax! We're not gonna get caught! Oh, and, can I be the one to not be able to speak English? That would be hilarious to see the teachers look confused for once!" He replied loudly.

"Just announce it to the world! Shush it!"

He stood up from his crouch.

"What are you-"

"DUDE, RELAX-" he started.

I kicked him in the shins. He sat back down.

"I didn't literally tell you to announce it to the world, dummy!" I whisper-yelled at him.

"What? Yes, you did! Are there cameras in here? I need evidence to support my reasoning as I learned in fifth grade." He looked around.

I sighed. Do you know how you can smack something to get it to work? I wish we could do that to people.

"Look, dude, God has kindly blessed you with a wonderful invention that has been with you since the second your stupid life existed! Want me to tell you? It's a brain." I told him.

"What's a brain?" He asked stupidly.

"You know what? I'm leaving. I am spending my precious hour of lunchtime with some random stupid guy to find his confiscated bag of potato chips." I sighed. "Potato chips! You could always get another bag! Or, where did you get your bag that the principal took?"

"My pantry..."

"So, get another one from your pantry. Maybe it could save some of my time and some of yours too." I huffed.

"Home is too far away..." he whined.

"Where is it?"

"Across the street from the school."

I sighed again.

"It's only far if you crawl there! And I'm sure you're in shape! To run." I told him. He was seriously getting on my nerves.

"I am in shape! Round is a shape!" He said.

"Look, Roundy, you're on the football team. Round is no such word on the football team. Unless you're describing a football. Actually, footballs aren't round. Never mind."

"I got round while eating potato chips... yeah, I'm just kidding." I hope you were.

"No wonder you're acting as if it was the end of the world..." I muttered to myself.

"So. Let's get this straight. I'm going to lunch. You're going to go to your house and grab your precious bag of potato chips that apparently is a treasure." I summarized.

"No." He said, and right then, I wanted to smack him, not caring if he was going to cooperate or not.

"Just kidding. See you?"

"I wish I could say no."

We started to make our way out of the office when I tripped over something.

"Did you just fall on the floor?" He asked.

I sighed. They made smartwatches. Smartphones. Even smart TVs! They just haven't decided to make smart humans. I need to know when they'll make the decision. It better be soon.

"No, I attacked the floor. Of course, I fell, you dimwit!" I said sarcastically.

"Again with the name-calling compliments! You're pretty good at them." He complimented me.

"Thank- ugh, just crawl to your house now, okay?"

"Okay, King of the world."

I was too annoyed to correct him.
____________

Lunchroom.

The word that meant heaven. Other than 'food.' Or 'Friday.'

Seriously.

I could just sit down and be without the potato chip-loving maniac. And eat my food. Without someone constantly bugging me, but at least he was company.

I decided to have another conversation with oh, ho imaginary Arianna.

"Remember what I told you to do yesterday?" I asked her.

"No, but I'm sure I'll remember it if I'm in bed, the magical place where I suddenly remember what I was supposed to do.

I sighed. "Same for me too, sadly."

Then I remembered something. Haha, I was not in bed, thank you very much. I wish.

"Never sing in the shower!" I told Arianna. "This is very relevant to life, so you better listen."

"Huh?" She asked, confused.

"Because singing leads to dancing, dancing leads to slipping on the floor, and slipping on the floor leads the paramedics to see you NAKED. So remember, don't sing in the shower." It's not like I sing in the shower or anything.

"Well, I think singing in the shower is pretty nice-" That little-

"It's not!" I argued.

"-until soap gets in your mouth. Then it's called a soap opera." Okay, that one I have to agree with.

"Very funny, yes," I said sarcastically.  "I'm not going to test your theory but feel free to test mine."

Then she started laughing. Not normal-person-I-am-having-fun-laughing, but the maniacal-I-am-crazy-laughing.

"Oh, sorry," she said after she noticed the way I was looking at her. (She didn't look sorry to the least.)

"I'm the type to laugh at something the happened days ago."

Then I started laughing along with her.

Then I gasped in horror, "Oh, me too." What I have some type of disease?

That day, I actually left the lunchroom early. So I could just wander in the halls longer before lunch.

Some guy (from the football team, as expected) came up to me.

Uh-oh, this cannot be good. I'm taking it that he's not here to be a nice guy and give Lysander an extra bag of potato chips.

"What are you doing here?" He asked, annoyed.

"What are you doing here?" I asked, mimicking the same expression as him.

"I'm just here to tell you I have 10x more relationships than you." He said with a smirk. That was a stupid reason to come up to me. He probably just came up with an excuse to talk to the one and only awesome Julia Robins. Not like I'm surprised or anything.

"Oh, well then you have just wasted some time! Guess what? 10 times 0 equals zero." I told him, one-hundred percent forgetting that I told him I had no relationships. Oh, well. At least I roasted him with his own roast.

Then I stomped away, leaving him with his mouth hung open. I had an urge to punch him.

But I turned back. Not to punch him, sadly. "I hope you fall down the stairs and trip over nothing. Best wishes." Then I stomped away without giving him his well-deserved punch.

He really, whatever his name is, deserves a hug. Around the neck. With a rope.

Here, I'm done being nice here, Annoying Dude (that's what I named him). Next time I see you, the bricks are being thrown.

___________

Study hall was not any better than lunch. By that I mean Lysander didn't get his bag of potato chips. Ridiculous, right? He was moping like his grandma died or something.

And I asked him, "Bruh. What are you moping about? Did you lose your bag of potato chips?"

"No... It was even worse than that!" In his point of view, I could imagine nothing worse than losing potato chips.

"Ex-cu-use me?" I said in a weird way.

"My brother took the last bag! And I got in trouble with my parents because I went home. During school time."

I sighed (this guy is really giving me breathing problems). He will literally kill me.

"Well then go to the vending machine! I'm pretty sure every potato chip existent is there."

"The one I want isn't there." He argued.

"Look, loser, if you actually were desperate for some chips, potato chips, you would have already finished eating a bag of potato chips you bought." I finished all in one breath.

"Good idea!" He agreed. "Do you have one dollar?" He asked stupidly.

"Even if I did, I wouldn't give it to you," I told him.

"Why, thank you." He said sarcastically.

"You're welcome." I replied.

"Please? I promise I'll give it back!" I learned not to trust his promises.

"And if you don't?" I questioned.

"I'll... I don't know what I'll do." Exactly why he shouldn't promise things he couldn't keep AND not borrow my dollar. Why were we arguing about dollars? Eh, whatever.

"I can punch you for a good few thousand times." I offered.

"No thanks." He coughed.

"Well, in that case, I shall not serve no more purpose to thee. Good day." I said dramatically.

My bank account was lacking a lot of money. Every dollar matters. Then I walked away, triumphant about keeping my one dollar in my bank account.

____________

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