❝Time is precious.❞

22 || how you spend it

time || morning

It's Monday.

I woke up this morning with my mother's arms wrapped around me as if she was never going to let me go.

Yesterday Mom, Dad, and I had talked in my bedroom. Them tickling me was enough to calm me down and to break the ice.

Because of me thinking about Brolin the whole thing about Dad potentially losing his job hadn't crossed my mind until he brought it to my attention. He told me good news, that the companies weren't going to be defunct that instead of them being shut down by the city, that he was going to move them closer to the east.

Maryland.

Though that had me thinking more about Brolin, I was able to be grateful that Dad was still going to be making money and putting food on the table.

He also explained to me that I might've done something to help with the companies. I didn't get what he was saying and I didn't care enough to ask him to elaborate on that. How did I help him?

Soon after that he left me and Mom alone in my bedroom.

Mom told me she was sorry, for the millionth time. And it wasn't as if she was annoying me with her constant apologies, but I heard enough. She seemed genuinely apologetic, her soft blue eyes being the main indicator. No matter what, I had missed Mom terribly. I was glad to have Mom back, I just wasn't going to show my happiness yet. Much less give her a kiss and a hug.

She explained her reasons for leaving. She had to better herself. She had to go and fix the underlying barriers that were suffocating her and we're going to potentially ruin her life.

She told me she didn't feel as if it was fair for Dad and I to be dealing with her when she hadn't figured herself out. So all this time she'd been on a journey of self-discovery.

I asked her if she'd found what she'd been looking for.

And with a smile she nodded.

I don't know if Mom's answer was satisfying enough for me. She left because she didn't know who she was? Many people's parents don't know who they are but that isn't an excuse to leave. Or is it? Mom's telling the truth as far as I'm concerned. Yet, I can't grapple with the fact that Mom had been away for 5 years leaving both a broken husband and daughter.

So basically she left to fix herself but practically ended up breaking the two people who loved her the most, in the process.

I told her how lost I felt without her. That I felt motherless and almost fatherless (whenever Dad would drink a couple of his beers he'd bring home from the liquor store). I felt as if I'd lost both parents one who disappeared and one to alcohol and depression.

I cried and she cried and after that, we all three (Mom, Dad, and I) changed into better clothes and went out to eat at a burger hop.

And here I am on a Monday, currently at school. The morning was good, Mom offered to do my hair and make up along with carpooling me to school. It was nice and different, but a good kind of different.

At first I had been adamant about it.

She was just going to leave again, right?

But I let her.

I don't straighten my hair that much as I wear my hair usually down in loose curls. It's only once every now and then I decided to straighten it and wear it down and long.

Though Mom straightening my hair was new, the gesture was nice and comforting. She asked me questions like if I was dating anyone, if I had any friends, what classes we're my favorite, and if I knew how to drive yet.

She was perplexed at my answers. I wasn't dating anyone, I had no friends, and I didn't know how to drive. I hope my answers explained to her that with her lack of presence in my life that I'm inexperienced and lame as they come.

She stopped doing my hair for a minute saying that she needed to take a small break.

I waited.

I couldn't help but think that before she'd left the room she looked as if she was about to cry; the sniffles were a good indicator.

A few minutes later she came back, the red and puffiness in her face didn't go unnoticed by me. But I said nothing, and let her continue doing my hair.

She then dropped me off at school and promised to pick me up for lunch.

Making my way to my locker I don't miss the looks that are thrown my way.

I self-consciously touch my hair.

It must be my hair. Like I said, I don't often wear it straight and maybe the way Mom did my make up is catching people's attention. But who'd notice? I'm not exactly Mrs Popular. Justice claimed that title out of the two of us, I was only known as Justice's friend.

Not anymore. There's no telling how long until it goes around that Justice Moore and Karen Rice are no longer friends.

I open my locker and take out the notebooks I need for History.

"Karen?"

I turn to see who said my name.

Simon Moore.

I almost sneer in disgust. What's he want?

I close my locker and give him an impatient look. "What do you want?" I ask him.

He smiles and puts his phone in my face.

Initially I have no idea what he's showing me; just some girl dancing in the street, but when I see that it's ME in the video dancing. I pale. That's from Saturday night during the protest.

My eyes widen.

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