Raynare was woken up by the sounds of metal being struck nearby. She opened her eyes and fear set in when she saw the hulking form of the titan standing not too far from the hospital.

???: "Looks like you're up."

She turned to her right and saw Red standing nearby.

Red: "Don't worry about the giant robot. Rage's been working on it. It's already WAYYYYY past being a war crime at this point."

Raynare slowly sat up and held her head with one hand.

Raynare: "What happened?"

Red: "You passed out from bullshit overload."

Before he could speak further, there was a small explosion followed by a very loud yell. I shall attempt to translate.

Rage: "FUCKING CUNT SUCKING COCK GOBBLING FUCKING ASS CANNON FAGATRON BITCH MOTHER FUCKER VEGETABLE IN A WHEELCHAIR PIECE OF SHIT ASS FUCKING COCKADOODLE MOTHER FUCKING... CUUUUUUUUUUUUNT!!!"

Red: "...Well then."

Red then brought out his phone and called Rage.

Red: "What happened up there?"

Rage: "FUCKING REACTOR FUCKED OFF ON ME!!"

Red: "Is that going to be a concern?"

Rage: "ONLY IF IT GOES THERMO! THANKFULLY I'VE GOT ENOUGH LUCK TO FUEL ANY GACHA ADDICTS ENTIRE LIFE!"

Red: "EX luck does have its perks I suppose. Anyway, Raynare. We should probably talk somewhere that's not under threat of nuclear annihilation."

Raynare nodded before trying to get up, however she stumbled. Thankfully Calli was nearby. Why was she there? Because Rage being angy was funny to her. She supported the fallen angel on her shoulder while they headed out of the pocket dimension and to Red's office. Just as they left there was a very VERY loud "CUUUUUUUNT!!" Being yelled from behind them as another explosion went off.

Calli helped set Raynare down on a seat in Red's office.

Red: "Alright. First thing's first. We already know what and who you are. That also goes for who you work for."

Raynare: "..! H-How do you-"

Red: "It'd take a long time to explain. For now I'd like to put forward a proposal. We can offer  protection for you and your fellow fallen in exchange for information on Grigori's movements. Specifically on Dohnaseek and Ko-... Koko-... Uhh..."

Raynare: "Kokabiel?"

Red: "Him, yes. Cocoballs."

Raynare was quiet for a second as Red took a sip of the tea that was on his desk. While the silence hung above them, they could hear Cheese running from someone.

Cheese: "PINE! GET THAT FUCKING THING AWAY- NO FUCK OFF!!"

Red: "*sip* ah, I see Pine's chasing Cheese with one of her spiders. Again."

Raynare: "... What happens if I refuse your offer?"

Red: "If you refuse then I'm not sure what'll happen. You lot'll be on your own. It also means that the target that the devils in this town have on you is going to be even larger."

Raynare: "So it's an accept or die situation..."

Red: "I wouldn't word it like that. It's less accept or die. It's accept and we can keep you safe. Though I think you may survive either way. I know Mittelt and Kalawarner will."

Raynare's eyes widened. He knew the names of her other comrades. Meaning the others likely knew them as well.

Raynare: "Why would we survive? Don't tell me you'd let us be enslaved?"

Red: "Nothing like that, no. I personally intend to keep Mittelt around because nobody seems to pay her any attention and it's really dumb. You and Kala will survive basically because Rage called dibs."

Raynare was once again silent as she thought of her answer. Meanwhile, outside, Cheese was sitting on the stairs at the door having just escaped Pines arachnophobia inducing shenanigans.

He was then joined by Smol who was still struggling to breathe from watching Pine chase Cheese around.

Smol: [C'mon. You have to admit it was funny.]

Cheese: "Fuck off, cunt."

The two chuckled before Cheese looked up at the sky.

Cheese: "...We can't have been the only ones, Smol."

Smol: [You mean from back then?]

Cheese nodded. Both of them instinctively shuddered at the thought of their old home. They had spoken to the others about their past lives and in-turn they had heard about the past lives of the others.

Pine had no family, only the demon that inhabited her body, Sizzle, as she called it. Despite that, she kept her head high and moved on with life with a smile.

Red's life was full of military experience and conflict despite his (relatively) young age. His mind was such that, although he enjoyed some of the shenanigans that the group got up to, he kept things very professional.

Rage never really talked about his past. The only thing the others ever really learned about him was that he kept a locket hidden in his room somewhere. Crafty bastard was good at hiding stuff though and even the stuff that wasn't hidden had at least a hundred layers of security around it.

While Cheese and Smol thought about their past lives, they were joined by Reaper.

Reaper was in a similar boat to Pine. No real record of any family except the weebs. However he had connections to an organisation within the supernatural world. Only Red was privy to that information at present however.

The three sat out and watched the stars in the sky above them...

Until Cheese found his arm in the jaws of Rage's pet Squig, Fluffy McTeeth III

FLUFFY "DON'T ASK ABOUT THE OTHER TWO" MCTEETH III

It took a solid ten minutes to detach the little bugger from Cheese's arm. Though they found it hilarious. Especially when they managed to get him off the first time. It took them a total of five attempts to get the little bastard off of Cheese for good.

Though when Rage found out he laughed for a full fifteen minutes before feeding Fluffy McTeeth III a whole fucking cow's leg that may or may not have been the result of a badly placed sneeze when he was practicing with highly volatile and highly explosive magecraft.

Raynare headed back to the church after making the decision to accept Red's offer of protection. She needed to inform Kalawarner and Mittelt before Dohnaseek caught on to them.

As she flew, her thoughts raced about what she had seen in that mansion. Entire pocket dimensions within the rooms. A giant fucking robot that could be best described as the very bane of the Geneva convention's existence. Not to mention the absolute batshit insanity of basically everyone in that house.

Raynare: "...How do they even function as humans?"

We don't.

Anyways, as she landed at the church she was met by a smaller angel with blonde hair and a gothic lolita outfit.

Raynare: "Mittelt."

Mittelt: "The hell've you been?"

MITTELT "BITCHY GOTH LOLI"

Raynare: "That doesn't matter, but let's just say I've seen some shit."

Mittelt: "O...kay?"

The two headed inside where they met the third fallen angel, Kalawarner.

Kalawarner: "Where've you been all night?"

KALAWARNER "MEGA BOING BOING FALLEN"

Raynare: "Places. We need to talk."

The two other fallen were intrigued and followed Raynare to one of the back rooms where she explained what had happened to her.

Kalawarner: "What's worrying me is that they clearly know more about us than we do about them. Also the giant robot. That might be an issue."

Raynare: "The funding for that must be insane."

Kalawarner: "They are military funded, so I suppose that makes sense."

Raynare: "The military paying for something that puts any and all previous war crimes to shame? Yeah, that makes sense."

Mittelt: "Bottom line... We're under their protection now?"

Raynare: "Yeah. We're supposed to provide intel to them in exchange for their protection. Apparently they've already got the devils figured out."

Kalawarner: "One more thing, Raynare."

Raynare: "Hm?"

Mittelt: "What's that thing on your leg?"

Raynare looked down and noticed that the squig had latched onto her leg and was gnawing away rather happily.

Raynare: "Do you mind?"

Fluffy McTeeth III: *Incoherent squig noises*

Mittelt: "How did you not notice that thing!?"

Raynare: "Y'know... I got nothing, not even I know. Go home! My leg isn't your chew toy!"

The squig refused to let go and after fifteen minutes of trying to get the little bastard to let go, they finally pried him off and punted him into the distance.

On the way to school the next day, the weebs found themselves in a rather... Interesting situation. In front of them was a blonde girl that had just fallen over. The main debate amongst the group was who was going to help her out. Rage, Cheese and Smol all tapped out and headed towards the school. Reaper then volunteered to help her out while Pine headed after the others.

Reaper helped the girl to pick her things up before helping her carry her case to the church, where she was going to be staying.

Reaper quickly sent Red a text to inform him of the development and he was instructed not to go into the church and get to the school ASAP when he dropped her off.

Thankfully, it didn't take very long to get to the church and Reaper was able to leave the girl, Asia, with the fallen angels.

At school however... to say shit was getting retarded would be the ultimate understatement. Once again Cheese had decided that Taco Bell was a good idea for breakfast and once again the lower floors turned into Auschwitz part two: electric boogaloo.

On the second year floor, Reaper just happily did some reading until he was challenged to answer all of the questions on the board without looking at them. Which he did without missing a beat and while his attention was still on his book.

As for third year... We don't talk about what happened in chemistry.

They were lucky that the bomb disposal squads weren't called in. Let's just leave it at that.

Red's response?

"Ah, it's Thursday already?"

Sona was completely shocked by the nonchalance of Red's response.

Sona: "How can you be so casual about this!?"

Red:

The rest of the day was thankfully slightly calmer... Until one of the chemistry teachers accidentally fired an ethanol rocket out of a window with enough force to smash the glass.

At lunch was when things took a turn for the dumb though. Red was looking over some paperwork that Calli had casually dropped off at his desk when he heard Sona basically screaming in the student council room, followed by Rage walking out of said student council room chuckling to himself like some sort of deranged hobgoblin on several gallons of LSD.

Red: "Lemme guess, you just beat her in a game of chess?"

Rage: "Yup... And poker, and Mortal Kombat, and smash."

Red: "Strip poker or normal poker?"

Rage: "Yes."

Red: "Did you cheat?"

Rage: "I'm offended you even need to ask... Of course I did."

Red: "Even though you could've beaten her without cheating?"

Rage: "... Didn't think of that. Oh well, makes it funnier if she wants a rematch."

Red just sighed before looking at his paperwork again and seeing that there was suddenly more. He looked around and saw Calli casually walking away from them.

Red: "... I hate her sometimes."

He was swiftly cut off however as a scythe embedded itself into the wall next to him.

Calli: "Wanna repeat that?"

Red: "..."

Rage: "I'm not making a megaphone so you can make the reference."

Red: "Dammit."

Rage: "I however, will make your situation worse."

Red slowly turned as Rage produced a megaphone.

Rage: "*ahem* He said he hates you and you're a cunt!"

With that said, Rage was gone in a puff of smoke.

Red: "Well... Death approaches... Literally."

Three minutes later, Sona walked out of the student council room having just brushed her hair due to her almost pulling it out due to unrivalled bullshit enduced fury.

She then spotted Red knocked out on the floor.

Sona: "I-... I'm not even going to ask."

Cheese and Smol then showed up.

Cheese: "It's better if you don't. You might keep your braincells."

Sona: "*sigh* indeed. Why are you two not in class right now anyway?"

Smol: [Teacher had to go home. The taco bell was too much for him to handle.]

Cheese: "Heheh...yup."

Sona: "Sometimes I wonder how you all function as people. But then I start losing my grip on reality."

Cheese: "Yup. Sounds about right."

Sona: "Which reminds me. I was told by Red that he 'found' all of you. What exactly did that entail?"

Cheese fell completely silent before Smol wrote something.

Smol: [For ourselves it's something we'd rather not talk about. Probably the one that caused the most problems was your new fiancé.]

Sona immediately froze up and went bright red.

Sona: "H-How did you...?"

Smol: [It's pretty obvious when you notice Rage walking around laughing like a gremlin and passing a rook between his hands.]

Sona: "... I want to kill someone right now."

Cheese: "Didn't Rage say something about this?"

Smol: [Oh yeah, he told us to tell you to call him later because, and I quote: "My hands are cravin' some demon misbehavin'." End quote.]

Sona's already bright red face turned an even deeper shade while Smol chuckled to himself.

The two weebs then picked Red up and carried him to the teacher's lounge.

After the day had ended, the weebs did their usual. Meet up outside the school, roast a couple of side characters for the hell of it, commit arson behind Red's back. Normal shit that happens on a Thursday.

When they arrived back at the mansion, it was straight into training for everyone. Pine practiced her control of her magic by making some books levitate around her in the library as she studied.

Smol was in the training room in the basement practicing his hand-to-hand combat skills. Cheese was in the firing range trying to see how many rounds he could put down range.

Reaper stood in the gymnasium, practising with his training sword, mostly drilling basic swinging patterns and defensive stances.

Rage was training in magecraft as per usual, nothing fancy, just trying to test the limits of Denial of Nothingness.

Everyone's focus was broken however as the doorbell rang. Pine was closest to the door so she was the one to answer it.

She opened the door and found Raynare with the other two fallen angels outside of the house.

Pine: "Do you need something?"

Raynare: "Where's Red?"

Smol then appeared next to Pine.

Smol: [He's still at the school. Should be home soon enough though.]

Raynare nodded before coming inside with the other two.

Mittelt: "This place is , like, totally fucking huge!"

Kalawarner: "Yes, but the amount of magic energy concentrated here is... Unbelievable."

Pine: "Well, two of us use very powerful magic."

Raynare: "Where's the jackass that blasted me with a fucking mortar?"

Smol: [Rage's upstairs in his room.]

Soon enough the door was opened and Red walked in.

Red: "Oh, I wasn't expecting you lot to show up again so early."

Kalawarner: "Well, we feel that this is urgent."

Red: "Hm? Go on then."

Raynare: "Dohnaseek's going forward with a ritual to steal a sacred gear from a girl."

Red: "... Asia."

Kalawarner: "He'll likely start the ritual at midnight."

Red: "Well, I wasn't planning on sleeping anyway."

Smol: [So, we goin' loud or quiet?]

Red: "You idiots are going loud no matter what I say."

Cheese: "You know us so well."

Red (quietly): "Unfortunately."

???: "So we're gonna kick some ass, huh?"

Red leaned back and saw Rage dragging a large spear behind him.

Red: "Pretty much. Don't destroy the town."

Rage: "No promises. I'll try and keep it moderately clean."

Smol: [Meaning you're going to shout profanities and make incredibly racist, homophobic and sexist jokes the whole time.]

Rage: "...I physically despise the fact that you were able to guess that with so little content to guess from."

Red sighed as Smol laughed. Tonight was going to be a tricky one, but something told him that there would be a benefit.

End of Chapter.

Next Time: Church Raid.