A little something I wrote for a request on Tumblr about two months ago lmao, I thought I could share it here! It was requested in the form of a song, so if you're curious, it's My girl by 4MEN

Also, just a side note but I will begin working on the requests here very soon, I don't know how fast I'll be able to finish them but I'm not forgetting about them! They're all in my drafts~~ I'm so sorry that it took so long for me to show a sign of life in here jdjfjfefjek

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Namjoon:
Baby, did you rest well today?
Yoongi, Jungkook and I are on the way back home now
I miss you so much, can't wait to hug you tight babe
We'll be there soon

I stare at the messages sent by one of my three boyfriends, then shift my glance to the mirror in front of me.

Despite knowing that they would be here by seven tonight, I could only manage the strength to start getting ready at six, and now, here I stand, still not showered, a pathetic version of myself that makes me want to cry, I can't possibly let them see me like this.

A month ago, I was pulled into my boss' office at work because he was concerned for my mental state as I had not performed quite as well as I usually do. He had heard feedback from a few coworkers saying that I didn't laugh, didn't smile anymore, that I looked more tired too, and so he decided to give me a "mental health break".

In other words, I got sent home because I was under-performing and it was bothering everyone.

Since then, I feel like my mood has fallen down an endless pit and my boyfriends have been there to pick up the pieces only to witness as more fall apart, I don't even know why they still try anymore, I don't know how to get better anymore.

I look down at my phone again, then lock the screen before dropping it on the bed. Why do they still bother? There's no point trying to fix something that's broken, they should just get a new one instead.

I don't know what spurs me on when I reach the kitchen before climbing the stool to reach Yoongi's 'secret' stash, I just know that the different bottles of alcohol look terribly appealing right now. Maybe they could help me feel better.

Maybe if I'm drunk, I'll be a little bit closer to the girl they fell in love with all those years ago.

I grab a random bottle then clumsily step off the stool before making my way to the counter where I grab a tall glass from the cupboard, and once the bottle opened, I pour a big amount of the clear liquid until I feel like it's enough.

Without bothering to put the bottle away, I start gulping down the liquid like water, and while the burn to my throat feels like fire, it's nice. At least I feel something with this.

I slam the glass down once done, then wipe my mouth with the back of my hand before making my way to the bathroom, a look at the time showing me that I have probably less than ten minutes before they get here.

I don't even have time to take a shower, but as the alcohol sways heavily in my stomach, I decide to say fuck it and turn on the shower head with the temperature set to the hottest my skin can endure.

I should be able to smile soon, right? I'll be able to laugh with them, even if it makes me feel stupid?

I take another glance at my reflection from the shower's glass as I undress myself and I feel tears rise up, fingers gripping onto the fat that hangs around my waist, when did this happen? When did I start not fitting into my clothes anymore? Could I even still wear the outfit I was wearing when I met the three men who now own my heart?

The humid heat starts causing condensation to form on the glass until I can't see my reflection anymore, as if to free myself from the shackles that this detestable image has put on me and I step into the shower where I stand under the water to submerge my head, and as my hair starts sticking to my skin, as the water starts burning less and less from getting used to its temperature, I begin feeling pitiful.

Why are they still with me? I don't feel like the girl they fell in love with anymore, this person that I used to be feels so far away now, completely out of reach and I just don't understand what they see in me anymore.

What I see is someone fat, someone who's lost sight of herself entirely, from not being able to feed herself to now being unable to take a simple shower. I've become a dead weight, someone boring and lifeless, does that sound like someone anyone could love?

I sit down on the cold tile in the corner, my feet the only thing staying warm as the water keeps falling over them and I hug my legs, forehead falling over my knees as tears begin flowing without permission, mind turning dizzy, that's not how I wanted to feel when I drank that stupid liquid.

"Babe? Y/N?".

I shake my head lightly at the sound of my name, did someone just call me? I feel so fucking dizzy... I don't think I could even keep my head up for more than a minute now, what the hell did I drink earlier?

"I found her hyung, she's here. Hey muffin... I'm coming in, okay?".

I force myself to stare at the opened door where I find... Jungkook?

"Oh baby, look at you... what are you doing sitting here? Are you not feeling well?" he asks softly as he comes closer with pity all over his face, and to see him here, looking at me like this... it makes me feel so fucking small.

I hide my face behind my knees before hugging myself tighter, I don't want him to see me like this, I feel like shit. "Go away, Jungkook".

"Y/N, please tell me you didn't drink the- shit, you drank it, didn't you? Oh honey, of all the bottles to pick, you really had to take the strongest one... are you sitting there because you feel sick? Let's get you out of here, okay?" Yoongi's voice speaks up soon after as he too enters the bathroom and I feel the additional presence like a threat to my sanity.

"Just leave me alone, the two of you. Just go, please" I plead weakly while curling deeper into my corner, why are they even trying? I know I look pitiful, a hopeless mess.

"... why don't you go start making dinner, Yoongi? Keep him company, Jungkook, I'll take care of this".

I sniffle loudly at the sound of Namjoon's voice, my chin wobbling from how crushed I feel, why do I always have to feel like this nowadays? I can't even get a break anymore and it makes living so fucking hard.

"Today's a bad day, hm? You had a hard time today, baby?" he coos softly while stepping closer once the door shut behind him and I start crying while nodding my head.

I hate days like this, I hate when spending time alone makes me feel miserable, but spending time with them makes me feel worthless, I can't find peace anywhere anymore and it's so stupidly hard to endure.

A soft sigh. "Did you let your inner voice tell you bad things again?".

I hesitate, but then nod my head again and he hums before stepping into the shower where he sits down besides me, and when he pulls me into a strong hug, his body still fully clothed, I burrow my face into his chest while crying louder, I'm tired of being like this, so tired.

"My poor baby... I'm sorry that we left you alone all day like this, one of us should've stayed with you. Did you eat anything today? Did you eat the lunchbox Yoongi made for you?".

I shake my head sheepishly, eating didn't even cross my mind, I don't even remember what I did all day today, did I do something or did I stare at the wall for hours?

A hand to my soaked hair and Namjoon presses a kiss to it before hugging me tighter, just like he said he would. He always hugs me like this when he comes back from work and... it helps, just a little bit.

"Why did you drink Yoongi's vodka, Y/N? You know you can't tolerate alcohol well" Namjoon asks me gently, but in my shame, I try to push him back to avoid answering, which only results in him squeezing me tighter within his hold with a small shush. "I'm not angry, baby, I just want to understand".

I hide my face under his chin and start playing lightly with the soaked hem of his shirt, it must be so uncomfortable to wear like this, yet he doesn't seem to mind, his deep humming voice instead serving to comfort me, a guiding sound that leads me to open up to him in small baby steps.

"I just... I thought... maybe getting drunk would give you back the girl you fell in love with. But it's not working so well, I just feel dizzy now. I just wanted to give you a break of... who I've become" I mumble weakly and Namjoon tenses at my words, his eyes widen and his heart crumbles.

"Oh baby... that was a bad voice that told you that, babe, we don't need a break from you, never. The girl we've fallen for is you, every day, we see you and we fall in love all over again, you're the only one we want. We love you so much, Y/N, we don't need a different you" he states gently but firmly, with no hesitation in his voice and I can only resume crying again in his protective arms, how can he say that so easily?

"Now, do you want me to help you shower? I can wash your hair for you, hm? Does that sound nice to you?" he coos softly while petting my head, his other hand rubbing my back with soothing circles to help me calm down, everything to show me how loved I am, he never wants me to doubt their love ever again, it hurts him so much.

I answer with a light nod of the head and a sniffle and he hums deeply, a rub to my arm before he slowly brings an end to the hug. "Let me just grab the shower head with your shampoo okay?".

I don't reply, eyes instead following him as he stands up to do exactly as he said, the shower head settled down at my feet before he's grabbing my bottle, and then he's back on the shower's tiles, his legs parted in the middle of the large closed space to have me sit there instead of my cold corner.

Moving to him means exposing all that I hate of my body to him and it's so very hard, but when I glance at his face to see him smiling, always that kind and loving smile of his, the one he makes where his eyes will also sparkle with adoration, I can't find it in me to deny his silent request and so, I slowly make my way to him before turning around so my back faces him, my arms curling around his raised knees to stay steady when my head starts spinning.

"My pretty girl, your hair has gotten so long now, why don't we have Yoongi cut it a little bit to give it some shape soon? Would you like that?" Namjoon muses while rinsing my head again, fingers combing through my hair to remove the knots before he starts with the shampoo.

I shrug a little, no real opinion on the matter, I just tie it up now because I can't bother with it. "If Yoongi wants to... I don't mind" I answer instead and the man hums with a nod of the head. "We'll talk about it with him later then".

With that said, we become silent as he proceeds with gently washing my hair, always careful to avoid getting any shampoo in my eyes, it makes me feel small, but cared for, loved, it almost makes me forget about how bad I felt earlier.

I don't feel 'good', but I don't feel so terrible anymore either and that's already a huge improvement.

"Yoongi hyung sent me over with a bottle of water, I told him it was weird to drink water while having a shower but he insisted anyway so here I come with a bottle of water" Jungkook's voice fills the silence as he opens the door and I turn my head to glance at him only to have Namjoon gasp at the same time.

There's a second where nothing happens, and then the burning begins and I quickly close my eyes with a whine, holy shit this hurts?!

"Oh crap, I'm sorry baby, you moved so suddenly and- we need to rinse your eyes, tilt your head back, let me do it" Namjoon panics in calm, though he can't help it when he manhandles me a bit with the intent of saving my life, he can't believe he got shampoo in my eyes even after being so careful, Yoongi will have his head if anything happens to me!

Jungkook hurries over to help, not a care in the world that his clothes get soaked too when he kneels down in front of me to brush the hair out of my face before creating a barrier with his hands over my nose, and as I try to blink a little under the hot water, I start considering the possibility that I will become blind.

"What's going on? I heard a commotion- what happened here? Don't tell me you got shampoo in her eyes, Namjoon?!" Yoongi exclaims as he too enters the bathroom and Namjoon startles with wide spooked eyes, can he lie?

No, of course not, everything points at him having done exactly that.

"It was my fault, hyung, I distracted them" Jungkook takes the blame and I bite on my bottom lip to avoid a grin, it's so easy to imagine the look on Yoongi and Namjoon's faces right now.

They always get so overprotective when something happens to me and then Jungkook will try to appease our eldest boyfriend while usually winking my way and...

I pause when I realize that they've never stopped bringing light and warmth into my world, even during this past month.

It was only me who started to give them reasons as to why they shouldn't love me anymore, but they've always shown me the opposite, that they're instead gaining reasons as to why they should keep loving me, why was I so blind to it?

That conclusion is enough to have me sobbing all of a sudden before I start to wail and panic breaks loose among the three men - the shampoo is indeed killing me.

"I'm sorry, babe please don't cry, I'm sorry okay? Your eyes are going to be fine, they'll survive I promise" Namjoon tries to reassure me while Jungkook moves closer to hug me against the giant man's chest, and Yoongi...

Yoongi's knuckles pop, the sound one that none of us want to hear when we cause a mess.

Namjoon starts begging Yoongi for a peaceful way to resolve this mistake and Jungkook's laughter echoes against the humid walls while cooing at me, his body rocking us back and forth to have me calm down, and the bickering that follows somehow manages to put a smile on my face.

Some days might suck, others might be straight terrible to exist in, but at the end of the day... as long as I get to have these three men with me... three men who love me dearly, I know I'll be able to face anything that comes my way.

"It's only right that you get a feeling of her pain too, give me that bottle, Namjoon. No one hurts my girl without having to bear the consequences next".

"No! That's abuse, hyung! I didn't do it on purpose!".

"Hyung, you can take my shampoo instead, I don't mind".

"No! Yoongi- stop- !!!".

I giggle at the chaos currently occurring and Jungkook joins me while screams fill the bathroom.

Yeah, I really love these men so fucking much.