"Will you stay here tonight?" Yunlan asked, and felt him stiffen. "I won't do anything, I just want you close," he added, and Wei seemed to relax.

Seeing this Yunlan's heart skipped a beat, it was amazing how Wei believed his every word. It wasn't hard to imagine how a few calculated words could have had such an impact on a younger Wei. That Feng probably had it too easy with him.

Yunlan felt a fit of rage for whoever it was that had taken advantage of his trusting nature. There was a gentle, fragile aura about him that was just adorable, and he wished to protect it.

Good thing that his words had been the absolute truth, and he was happy to hear his reply.
"Ok," Wei said, lowering his head on his shoulder.

Yunlan's heart thumped, it was definitely too late now, just the idea of giving up on him was unthinkable, he would try everything to help Wei and have him close, to protect his heart and brighten his days.

He changed for the night quickly in the bedroom while Wei was in the bathroom wearing the pajamas he lent him, then he stared at the ceiling thinking back of his words: what Wei told him explained the fake engagement and also why Wei was so scared of having sex with him, he clearly had a bad experience before, but it didn't seem enough to explain his behavior.

Yunlan thought there had to be something more about him, something that would explain why he felt lonely, why he became so obsessed, why he thought so little about himself...

Also, what did Wei mean by 'it didn't go well'? Sure it might hurt a bit but that definitely wasn't all there was to it... What exactly did that guy do to him?

He heard a door closing and he turned around pretending to be asleep. He thought it would be easier for Wei, but for the first time in his life he found himself wide awake, slumber denying itself.

He sensed Wei standing by the bed in hesitation, felt the weight on the bed when he finally laid under the blanket after switching off the lights, listened to his breathing slowing down; it took Wei a long time to fall asleep but Yunlan didn't move, afraid to scare him.

He didn't know how much time had passed, he was watching Wei sleep at the faint light that entered from the window when he noticed that Wei's head was moving, that his mouth was opening as if he was trying to scream, but no sound came out.

Emotionally exhausted as he was Wei found it more difficult than usual to fall asleep. He finally did, but later on he wished he hadn't.

If it was one of those weird dreams people talked about it would have been easier, but it wasn't: everything looked so real, he was walking towards his apartment after work and Feng was right there, with that smile that used to make him believe he was special to him. Feng grabbed him and held him down, biting his neck. Wei was unable to move, but he knew now that he meant nothing to him. The feeling of Feng's forceful hands on him was disgusting, his weight too much for him to be able to free himself. Feng kissed his mouth and he moved his head frantically, left, right, left, right, but Feng's hold was unbreakable. He was hurting him now and he could not stop him, he tried to yell but his voice didn't come out, he tried again and again with growing desperation, how long would Feng keep doing that to him, it seemed like an eternity, the pain was too much to bear, he tried to yell with all the strength he had in him until he managed to shove him off himself and sit up... finding himself in a dark room, alone; his mouth still open trying to yell, his eyes adjusting to the dim light, a hand landed on his arm. "Wei..."

Wei bolted away from that touch, falling off the bed. "Don't touch me!"
His voice had returned, although it sounded broken and alien to his ears.
Yunlan raised his arms in surrender. "I won't touch you, I'm sorry; I was... it was just a bad dream, you're safe here, I won't do anything."

Wei's eyes focused on his figure, trembling he realised that he wasn't in that awful nightmare anymore.

"Yu...Yunlan?"

"It's me, babe, it's okay, you're safe here."

Wei got on the bed again, staying as far away from him as he could. He knew very well now that this was reality, and he wasn't scared of Yunlan, but the feelings he had felt were still so vivid it was hard to shake them off, the desperation, the disgust, the helplessness... why did he do such a dream? That wasn't a memory, if anything it could be his current perception of events he had tried never to think of again. A therapist would probably say that it represented what he wished had happened, but Wei knew the truth, he hadn't reacted that way, that was not what had happened.

"Yunlan?"
In the silence of the night even such a soft whisper could be heard.
"I'm here."
"Can I hold your hand?"
Yunlan offered his hand without hesitation, waiting for Wei to grab it.

Wei did, and held it so tightly it almost hurt. Wei closed his eyes, taking slow deep breaths, focusing on that warm hand. "Thank you".
"It's okay."
"Sorry for waking you."
"Don't be."
"Can I... hold your hand a little longer?"
"You're welcome to never let it go."

Wei blinked back tears, turned to lay on his side and slowly put his forehead against Yunlan's chest, not letting go of his hand.

Yunlan didn't sleep at all that night, watching over him.

~~~

Wei woke up, those feelings still inside his heart, but as he opened his eyes he was met with Yunlan's gaze on him, a quiet comforting smile that soothed his soul.

"Ehi," Yunlan said. "It's still early. Want some breakfast?"

With a weak smile Wei agreed. Yunlan went into the kitchen while he changed back into his clothes.
When it was done Yunlan said, "Give me five minutes," and came back after a quick shower. Since they had skipped dinner the night before they were quite hungry now.

They ate in silence, but it wasn't uncomfortable.

Wei insisted to go right back. He needed to change clothes, and he didn't want anyone to see them coming together from Yunlan's house. He felt bad about it and didn't wish to say the words, but Yunlan didn't ask questions and let him go with a smile.

"Tell Qiqi that I may have found her a job", he said, and was rewarded with a grateful smile.
"I will, thank you."

Wei turned the handle, paused then turned around. "Really Yunlan, thank you, for everything."
Having said that, he was out the door.