CHAPTER FIVE
losing doug

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CHLOE'S EYES WERE entirely filled with bewilderment as she wordlessly stared at the unfamiliar crying baby in the closet.

"Who's fuckin' baby is that?" Phil disbelievingly voiced the collective group's flurrying thoughts.

"Alan, are you sure you didn't see anyone else in the suite?" Stu firmly inquired, Phil and Chloe briefly glancing between Alan and the random baby as they awaited his response.

"Yeah, I checked all the rooms." Alan confusedly confirmed with a nod. "No one's here."

"Well..." Chloe's eyebrows gradually raised as she slowly nodded, the woman still bewilderingly staring at the baby. "This is fucked up."

"Check its collar or something." Alan lightheartedly suggested, causing Chloe to scrutinisingly turn to face the man and rephrase his words more harshly.

"'Check its collar'?"

"Shh. Shhhh." Stu hushed as he leaned over to look for any identifying information on the child. "It's okay, baby..."

"Stu, we don't have time for this." Phil cut in, tone filled with slight contempt as he impatiently glanced around the room, hands now on his hips. "Let's go hook up with Doug, we'll deal with the baby later."

Chloe now turned to face Phil, wearing the same expression as the one she shot Alan seconds earlier. "'We'll deal with the baby later'?"

"Would you stop with that?" Phil firmly deadpanned as he shot her an incisive look.

Chloe scoffed at him, shaking her head in cynicism as she ignored his comment and redirected the conversation to assist in finding a solution to their current predicament. "We can't just go."

"Sure we can." Phil just shrugged, his usually uncaring attitude as pristine as ever at this current moment.

Stu furrowed his eyebrows in stupefaction at the man as he concurred with Chloe. "Phil, we're not gonna leave a baby in the room, there's a fucking tiger in the bathroom!"

"It's not our baby." Phil disagreed with a deep frown.

"Yeah, I gotta side with Stu on this one." Alan ethically chimed in—for once.

"Me too." Chloe crossed her arms in agreement as she frowned at the man who was leading, and the only member of, the latter opinion. "That's fucked up, Phil."

"Alright, fine. Okay, we'll take it with us." Phil blew out an irritated breath and reluctantly agreed as a result of their firm stance, then gesturing to Alan as he began to walk away from the three. "Could you, at least, just find some pants?"

•

The four were currently standing in one of the hotel's elevators, Stu pressing a cool towel to smooth the pain in his mouth, a sunglasses-clad Alan leaning against the side with the baby attached to his chest, and Chloe and Phil's backs to the wall, Phil's arms loosely crossed over his chest as he had one hand clasped over his mouth to prevent himself from throwing up, and Chloe's gaze blank as she just stared at the elevator's doors, her head pounding in immense pain as one of her hands gently rubbed it to try and alleviate some of her discomfort.

"Why can't we remember a goddamn thing from last night?" Stu broke the elongated silence between the group perplexedly, trying to rack his brain for any memory of the previous night, whatsoever, but none came.

"Because we obviously had a great fucking time." Phil sniffed, while Chloe just slightly shook her head cluelessly.

"Yeah, speaking of that, you two had a great fucking time." Alan chimed in, cheekily darting his eyes between Chloe and Phil. "Literally."

Chloe's head now snapped to look at Alan. "How did you-"

"I saw the condoms and heard your conversation." Alan shrugged, then redirecting his gaze to the ground as he quietly murmured. "Having sex a lot and getting married in one night. I'm so jealous..."

Phil huffed out an entertained breath that resembled a chuckle. "Yeah."

Chloe let out a long sigh as she didn't even bother to counteract Phil or Alan's comments, and she just closed her eyes for a moment as she let her head rest against the wall.

Sensing Chloe's minor chagrin, Phil turned to face Stu once more. "Why don't you just stop worrying for one minute? Be proud of yourself."

As soon as he finished speaking, the elevator doors slid open with a ding, inviting a woman to join the group.

She stood beside Alan, a wide smile appearing on her face at the sight of the baby as she curiously, and politely, questioned, "Oh, how cute. What's his name?"

The elevator fell silent as Chloe, Phil and Stu shared uninspired looks, Phil speaking up after a moment as he let the first name that came to his mind fall out of his mouth. "Ben."

"Carlos." Alan immediately corrected, one hand on his hip as he slowly glared at Phil before facing the front again.

As the elevator doors slid closed, Phil furrowed his eyebrows at the man, rephrasing the statement in the form of a question. "'Carlos'?"

•

Chloe's head was currently lying on her forearms, which were resting on the table in front of her, the woman too exhausted and hungover to consume anything that wasn't coffee.

"Chlo." Phil voiced, eliciting an indistinct 'hm?' groan from her. "You've gotta eat something, come on."

Finally, Chloe slowly lifted her head, sending the man an unenthused look as she murmured in response. "The only thing I can stomach right now is coffee."

"Too hungover?" Alan obliviously chimed in from his seat beside Chloe.

This casted both Chloe and Phil's attention to the man, and Chloe narrowed her eyes at him as she slid her hands off the table, while Phil just perplexedly stared at him, not understanding how he just couldn't comprehend the obvious fact. "No, Alan, I'm not hungover at all. I'm not eating anything just for shits and giggles."

Alan just let out a loud chuckle as he glanced between Phil and Chloe. "That's kinda weird, Chloe. Right, Phil? That's super weird."

Phil blinked, not entertaining the man as he turned to Chloe again. "You good?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." Chloe blew out a breath as she took a sip of her coffee and glanced down at her ring finger. "Just processing this whole thing. Whatever I can remember. Which is, apparently, nothing."

As if on cue, Stu approached the table, sitting in the empty seat to the other side of Phil, and across from Chloe, as he pressed the towel to his mouth again. "I looked everywhere. Gym, casino, front desk. Nobody's seen Doug. He's not here."

"He's fine, he's a grown man." Phil calmly explained, and, out of nowhere, Chloe just burst out into laughter, consequently causing the other three to unexpectedly jump in minor fright.

"What the fuck, Chloe?" Phil incredulously furrowed his eyebrows at the woman, who just kept laughing.

"Why are you laughing?" Stu's eyebrows puzzlingly creased inwards at the woman.

Chloe shook her head, waving them off and laughter only intensifying as she ignored the boys' collective concern.

"Have you lost your fucking mind?" Phil badgered, watching her with, now widened, befuddled eyes.

"Maybe your semen made her crazy." Alan earnestly suggested with a small frown directed at Phil.

The absurdity of the comment caused Phil to glare at the man once more, briefly holding his arms out as he did so. "Alan, what the fuck is wrong with you, man?"

"I'm- I'm laughing because- because we're totally fucked!" Chloe inhaled a deep breath as she spoke up between, now fading, chuckles.

Stu's demeanour visibly deflated in relief as his eyebrows just quirked upwards. "A completely normal reaction to have under the circumstances..."

"We're not 'totally fucked', relax." Phil shot the two pointed expressions as he shrugged and handed Stu his glass of orange juice. "And Stu, seriously, you've gotta calm down. Here, have some juice."

Stu didn't seem to appreciate the gesture as he just doubled over and emptied the contents of his stomach to the side, Chloe cringing as she internally thanked whatever force made her decide to sit in the chair furthest from Stu, and between Alan and Phil's. "I can't have juice right now..."

"Okay. Alright, let's just track this thing." Phil coughed as he grabbed his napkin and a pen from the table and prepared himself to write their list. "What's the last thing we remember doing last night?"

"Well, the first thing was, we were on the roof," Alan tightly squeezed his eyes shut as he played with his sunglasses, "and we were having those shots of Jäger."

Stu retched and coughed into his hand, concealing the urge to throw up again as he swallowed in discomfort.

"And then we ate dinner at The Palm." Chloe added tiredly as she took a sip of her coffee. "Right?"

"That's right." Alan affirmed with an elongated nod as he put his sunglasses on again. "And then we played craps at the Hard Rock, and I think Doug was there."

"That sounds right." Phil nodded in confirmation as he wrote the timeline down. "No, no, no. He definitely was."

"You know what, guys? I don't even remember going to dinner." Stu threw his hands out to the sides to emphasise the fact.

"I know, me neither." Chloe just hopelessly agreed, moving her jaw to lie on the palm of her hand, her elbow now resting on the table.

Phil exasperatedly slumped back against his chair as he let his eyes wander around the villa's crowded pool and moved his hands to connect behind his head. "I don't think I've ever been this hungover."

"After the Hard Rock, I blacked out. It was like emptiness." Alan burst out a forced chortle, incredibly dissimilar to the one Chloe had let out a moment before, and it was as if he was trying to convince the group of the fact that he couldn't remember anything either.

Stu wordlessly shook his head at him to convey that the message was received, and the group's attention was then shifted back to Phil as he ignored Alan and spoke up once more. "Okay. We have up until 10 p.m., so that gives us a twelve-hour window where we could've lost him."

"What is this?" Alan caught the group's attention as he curiously held up a tooth that he retrieved from his pocket.

"Oh my god." Stu frowned in pure bewilderment. "That is my tooth! Why do you have that?! What else is in your pocket?!"

"No, this is a good thing." Phil quickly interjected, then hurriedly ruffling through his pockets as he coaxed the others to do the same. "No, no, no, check your pockets. Check your pockets. Do you have anything?"

"I found-" Chloe rifled through her pockets, stopping and widening her eyes as she glanced down at her hand and realised what she was holding. "Nothing, I found nothing."

Phil furrowed his eyebrows at her as he released an amused laugh. "No, what was in there, Chlo?"

"Nothing at all, nothing was in there." Chloe reinforced quickly, shaking her head in refusal as she closed her palm and tightened her grip on the items in her hand.

Phil calculatingly stared at her, successfully lowering her guard as he then made a jump for it. "Show me what you found."

"No!" Chloe protested as she tried to move her hand away, though Phil was quicker, and he managed to grab her hand and pull her fingers back—making sure not to hurt her in the process—only to reveal three more torn condom packets.

"Oh my god." Phil laughed loudly as he dropped the condom packets.

Chloe hung her head in her hands as she groaned out an embarrassed statement. "We're fucking freaks."

Stu winced awkwardly. "At least you were safe."

"Hey, a silver lining." Phil grinned widely, seeming to find the whole situation purely entertaining. "Literally."

Chloe released a tortured groan into her hands as she just shook her head in pure humiliation, consequently murmuring into them once she did so. "I swear I'm not a slut..."

Alan suddenly inhaled a sharp gasp, his eyes round with concern as he coaxed the group's attention to him. "What if you're pregnant?"

Chloe lifted her head from her hands as she stared at Alan, no mirth, whatsoever, gracing her features. "I'm not pregnant, Alan."

"But what if you are?" Alan gravely inquired.

"I'm not." Chloe shut him down earnestly, as the question was the last thing she needed to think about at this current point in time.

"But what if you are?" Alan restated, eyes practically bulging out of his head in wonder.

Chloe, sick of Alan's pestering comments, just threw her hands up, tone hardening in frustration. "Then Phil and I will raise the baby together, I don't fucking know!"

As she concluded the sentence, the woman just turned to face Phil, deciding to implement a bit of humour to the situation to twist his amusement around—primarily so he could feel just a portion of the stress that she was currently feeling. "By the way, we'll know for sure after a few days. And I'm probably not pregnant, Blue Eyes."

"How would you know for sure after a few days, and 'Blue Eyes'?" Phil raised his eyebrows, slowly repeating the nickname out of the purely unexpected nature of its creation.

"I thought I'd try something new, honey." Chloe simply plastered on a teasing smile as she lightheartedly quipped.

Phil shot her an unamused look. "Stop with that."

Chloe, realising that the situation genuinely called for some sincerity, took a sip of her coffee and nonchalantly shrugged. "It takes, roughly, two weeks for pregnancy tests to detect hormones after unprotected sex. We were, clearly, very careful, so we should be fine. And I bought five tests when Stu was looking for Doug, so if I am pregnant, we'd know for sure and plan accordingly."

"You done this before? You seem like an expert." Alan raised an eyebrow, earning a frown from Phil, a disgusted look from Stu, and the coldest glare Chloe had ever worn.

"Not cool, dude." Stu furrowed his eyebrows disappointingly, then shifted his attention back to Chloe with raised eyebrows. "Five is a little excessive."

Chloe just raised her eyebrows as she quipped back a sarcastic response. "Yeah, well, we fucked seven times last night, Stu, I'm pretty sure that was a little excessive, too."

"Message received." Stu held his hands up in a surrender motion as he waited a moment before getting back to emptying his pockets. "I have an ATM receipt from the Bellagio. Eleven-o-five for eight hundred dollars! I am so fucked!"

"I have a valet ticket from Caesar's. Looks like we got in at 5:15 a.m." Alan chimed in, reading from the crumpled ticket he fished out from his pocket.

"Oh, shit." Phil deadpanned, rubbing his hands over his face in disbelief. "We drove last night?"

Alan just giggled amusedly. "Driving drunk. Classic."

Stu purposely replicated the laugh in a more sarcastic tone, trying to convey the fact that nothing about what they did the previous night could ever be classified as funny.

Alan calmed down, then gesturing to Phil's wrist as he noticed a yellow hospital band around it. "What's on your arm?"

Phil's eyebrows furrowed deeply as he checked it out. "What the fuck?"

"Oh my-" Chloe grabbed his wrist to survey the band.

"Jesus, Phil." Stu gaped as he leaned forward to mirror Chloe's action. "You were in the hospital last night."

"I guess so, yeah..." Phil just allowed the two to look at the band as his eyes flickered between his concerned friends.

"You okay?" Alan genuinely inquired as Phil eventually took his wrist back.

Phil just stared at him with slight conviction as he then pointed out the fact that he was obviously okay. "Yeah, Alan, I'm fine."

"What the hell is going on?" Stu sighed frustratedly.

"I have no fucking idea, and I'm this close..." Chloe impatiently held her hand up to make a gesture with her fingers, hovering her index finger just over her thumb to reinforce her point. "...to losing my fucking mind."

"No, Chlo, Stu, this is a good thing." Phil just gestured to his wrist. "We have a lead now."

"This better help us, or I swear I will drown myself in that fancy-ass pool." Chloe just stood up, signifying for the group to start their hunt, and gesturing to the spacious, glistening pool near their table as she did so.

•

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