The day Steph broke up with August was complete panic.  They were yelling at eachother for the longest time, and when it was over they both came to fine ME.  "JAMES" yelled August as he came running up.  "Tell this girl that I treat her well, she's saying i'm a horrible boyfriend!"  "James" she whispered.  "Why don't you tell him who i'm leaving him for..."  she seemed like she was so desperate her eyes pleaded with me to end her mysery.  "me" I stated.  "She's leaving you because she likes...me"  if you had ever seen someone with rage going from 0-100 you would know what I mean.  When I saw Augusts face though, the anger changed to confusion, and pain then to recognition  .  "I don't know how to treat girls amazing" he whispered.  "I'm sorry I wasn't the perfect boyfriend, but next time I promise...my next girl i'll treat her better. I'll give her all the attention in the world" he whispered quieter.  "It's ok August" Steph said "I'm the first girl you've ever liked.  It's ok that you didn't get it right the first time, it's just everybody in my life was toxic until James came into it." He nodded in understanding, and looked at me..smiled, and then walked away.  (The first GIRL he ever liked) I thought.  I wonder if he ever thought of ME as more than a friend.  For now though Steph was my girlfriend, and i'm going to admit it.  I didn't mind when she took Astra's place next to me in the lunchroom.  She seemed to make everyone their happier.  Except Astra that is, but she was slowly starting to warm up to this new, beautiful girl sitting with us every day.

         After a few weeks Astra, and I were walking the halls when some kids yelled "FIGHT THERE'S  A FIGHT IN THE GYM".  We ran there as fast as we could, and when we finally got inside we could all see the two fighters.  It was Aiden and Laiton.  They seemed to be beating the pulp out of eachother.  Until some guys had to DRAG them apart.  When they were finally at least 10 feet apart Aiden started to yell!  "YOU KNOW WHY  ME, AND THIS DICKWAD WERE FIGHTING!  THIS KID RIGHT HERE, YOU'LL NEVER GUESS....THE GUY I HAVE HUNG OUT WITH FOREVER.  HE'S GAY!!!"  he yelled.  Everyone just stood there in silent.  Laiton just backed up, and ran out of the room.  Only I saw when he ran past a tear that fell down his face.  One tear that would turn into a waterfall.  I chased after him because I know he didn't deserve that public embarrassment.  I couldn't reach him in time though.  He ran all the way outside, and spotted a huge bus.  "LAITON DON'T"  I yelled. In that moment he jumped time seemed to freeze for me.  I didn't believe anyone would take their own life for something so silly as being called gay.  But somehow I knew why he did too.  He was ashamed of who he was, and he just needed a reason to get away from it.  Alan ran out of the doors then, and stopped when I held him back.  "The police will be here any minute" I whispered.  The worst part of the day was Alan's silence.  His words just cheered people up, but not today.

            Life was never the same after that.  One death I could handle, but watching someon kill themselves is way different than finding someone murdered like that.  I guess it's true what they say:  You never know it till you see it.  I hadn't watched my father get murdered, I had just found his remains which trust me that was more than enough, and definetely not something I had wanted to see again.  Alan, Mic, and Jack all decided we needed to do something so they dragged me along to this weird college party.  Right when I walked in I knew it was a mistake, but at this moment I didn't care anymore so I joined them in the ritual of smoking some weed.  they introduced me to the guy who sold the goods.  He went by one of the weirdest names...it was TJweed.  Which trust me I liked that name a lot more than I liked that guys face.  Ugh! It was a kind that could give a teen nightmares.  But after I had gotten to know that TJweed was actually a pretty cool guy.  And no i'm not saying that because he sells weed, and it just happens to go well with his name. 

          Alan hadn't really ever recovered from Laiton's death, and Aiden was so guilty that he couldn't even look us in the eye.  Eventually I became so overwhelmed I told Steph I couldn't do it anymore.  You know the stupidest thing about that though?  She started dating August AGAIN even after she found out she was too good for him.  And I was so mad that August just excepted her back like that even after she broke his heart.  It's been 2 years since Freshman year.  I've had a few girlfriends, even a few boyfriends.  Some friends went while other's stayed, but now i'm single, and I don't really like the idea of changing that.  August dumped Steph when she tried to become closer than he appreciatted.  I never really understood girl's need for physical touch, and stupid things like that, and I don't think August felt like dealing with it at the moment either.  I can't stand when people want more in a relationship then what they've been given.  Constantly begging for more from people who just can't provide that sort of thing.  Highschool is rough, and people change which makes it harder.  the main people who have stayed in my life though is Astra, Jack, and Alan.  Even though some of us weren't fully whole anymore.  Alan has a new boyfriend now though since he's a big shot college student.  His boyfriends name is Colby, and they aren't like what Alan and Laiton were like at all.  PDA was never an option for them.  They would just sit and talk, and connect.  Whatever they did outside of public was none of my concern though.  Aiden, August, and I  started to hang out to.  Which i'm pretty sure doesn't  make any of my other friends that happy, but it's not like they have a reason to hate me or anything, and plus I joined the football team with them, and you know what...i'm actually not that bad at it.  I was even invited to sit at the cool table (which I had no problem joining).  Lucky for me though my friends would still let me hangout in Astra's garage with them.  After all I don't think they could afford losing anyone else.

                 One day I was walking in the hallway minding my own buisness when Aiden came running up, "Yo, man dig this.  Huge party next week friday my place.  Babes in bikini's and stuff like that."  "Oh cool man, I think I can show"  "YOU THINK?  No man you got to be there. HIP party man, be there or be square".  "Alright man, i'll be there, i'll be there just cool your horses, and stuff like that."  I walked away with a smile on my face because someone in my life made it a point that I can still have fun.  It's really hard these days to make it to those kind of events though because I started working a job, and stuff.  I need to start saving for college because my coach told me there's a high chance I could get a scholarship.  Me and August both could end up with the same scholarship AT THE SAME SCHOOL!!! I couldn't believe my ears I was so excited!  Poor Aiden when he found out he had to pay for college, and get no scholarship he just started working at a gas station, and said "I'M NOT GOING TO COLLEGE.  I'LL JUST MARRY RICH, AND STUFF LIKE THAT".  Of course right when he found out he started drinking, and doing whatever he could to get away from the thought of how bad his life would be on the road ahead.  I don't think people realize how bad everyone's life can get.  We all think someone is better than us because they're rich, but really rich people have a lot of trouble's too.  I would know, August always used to come to my house to get away from his nasty, rich, cruel parents (who I would know, i've seen them in action).