ACT 1
SCENE 1
LOCATION: Street leading up to the Elinsore Hall

Scientist (to herself)
Ah,isn't it funny when I realised that parallel universes exist containing the characters we call fictional exist? I will prove my theory to the world. But one funny thing which I do realise is that then all of us must be characters written by someone. There are no genuine universes. Merely universes created by the power of words. Of speech. I wonder who wrote me.
[Exit]

SCENE 2
LOCATION: ELINSORE HALL

Hamlet
..... These but the trappings and suits of owe.

Scientist (enters abruptly as always and looks around but apparently forgets who she is dealing with)
You must be Hamlet

Hamlet
Alas,I have no other name

Scientist
You must be Clau... King Claudius,Queen Gertrude,Lord Polonius and umm... Laertes.

Claudius
Who are you? And to what purpose do you arrive here in this palace?

Hamlet(aside)
Indeed and having the strangest of behaviors

Scientist(bluntly)
My name's Dr. Deepshika and I am a scientist. I have come to take you all to a place by the banks of the river Yamuna.

Claudius(startled)
What?

Hamlet
I beg your pardon?

Scientist (to herself)
Why does he have to remind me of Cassius?
(to everyone else)
It is as I have said,to take you to some place by the banks of the river Yamuna.

Gertrude
And how do you plan to take us there?

Scientist (enthusiastically, waving a remote)
With my new invention of course.

Laertes
Wait wait wait,who decided that we are going?

Polonius
Well spoken son,are you up to some mischief?

Scientist
No no no,I am not trying to do anything, it will be just like a vacation.

Hamlet
Indeed

Claudius
Court dismissed
(Courtiers depart apart from Polonius, Claudius, Gertrude,Hamlet and Laertes)
Look its all fine and well and someone (glancing at Hamlet) clearly needs it but I am a bit preoccupied with my country so you will have to excuse me and Gertrude.

Gertrude
Indeed I am afraid I cannot come but Hamlet you should take a vacation dear.

Hamlet(to himself)
Vacation indeed,they could have just as well let me go to Wittenberg. But no,to prolong my suffering they have to send me to some unknown place with an unknown person. Oh just great.
(to everyone else)
Of course if will be lovely,I wholeheartedly agree with your decision, mother

Polonius
I will accompany you, my Prince. To see that no harm comes to you.

Laertes
I am going back to England, I am not going anywhere. I will ask Ophelia.

Gertrude
I am so happy that you have decided to listen to me. I am sure that this will brighten your spirits.

Polonius
I am coming with you,my son to get Ophelia
(Gertrude, Claudius,Polonius and Laertes exeunt)

(Horatio enters)
[As the dear reader has probably guessed that this alters Hamlet Act 1 Scene 2 quite a lot but I am the author and I do what I wish to.]

Horatio
My lord

Hamlet(wearily)
Horatio

Scientist
So you are Horatio

Horatio (puzzled)
I am but I am afraid I do not recognise you. My prince,who might this stranger be?

Hamlet(airily)
Ask her for yourself

Scientist
My name's Dr. Deepshikha and I have come to take you to a place by the river Yamuna.

Horatio
I beg your pardon?

Scientist
Why do the both of you have to sound the same?

(This confuses Horatio further)

Horatio
I really don't understand you,Lady Deepshikha....

Scientist(with exaggerated patience)
I am a scientist and I am going to take you to a place by the banks of the river Yamuna. Its Agra and I am taking you to a tomb called the Taj Mahal.

Hamlet
I could do with a bit more information you know
This entire venture is creating confusion
I have not heard of a tomb called the Taj Mahal
Though methinks that I know of the river Yamuna
And the city of Agra
Isn't Yamuna a river that flows through the Emperor Akbar's territory?
Then it is quite strange for I have never heard of a tomb called the Taj Mahal
Funny it is that it has to be a tomb for speaking of recent events

Horatio
With all due respect, my lord,I believe that our visitor is getting quite confused

Scientist(sarcastically)
I believe that it is quite an honour to hear your thoughts out loud,my prince

(Thankfully Polonius decided that moment to enter with Ophelia, otherwise they would have had a civil war)

Ophelia
Hamlet

Polonius
Ophelia this is the lady I told you about, she is going to take Hamlet and I for a vacation

Hamlet
With all due respect,I would rather have Horatio and Lady Ophelia accompany us. Then perhaps it would be more pleasant.

Horatio
Your wish is my command sir

Scientist (aside)
There goes another Antony

Ophelia
It would be a pleasure to accompany you,my Lord

Polonius (clapping his hands)
'Tis decided then. We are going on this venture,when?

Scientist
Tomorrow would be good enough I believe

Polonius
Fine then,Ophelia and I will show you the way,Lady Deepshikha

(Scientist, Polonius and Ophelia exeunt)

Horatio
My lord

Hamlet
I hope you will excuse my lack of a proper greeting, Horatio
The day grows stranger and stranger
Anyways it is good to see you,Horatio as always
What brings you here from Wittenberg?

Horatio
To attend your father's funeral,my lord.

Hamlet
And not to attend my uncle's wedding?

Horatio
It was not possible to do either without the other
For they occurred simultaneously

Hamlet
'Tis true

Horatio
However before I could forget myself
I should tell you of a strange occurrence

Hamlet
A strange occurrence, you say?
What stranger occurrence can there be other than visiting a place that does not exist?

Horatio
A stranger occurrence indeed my lord
For methinks that I saw your father's ghost

Hamlet (understandably shocked)
My father's ghost you say?

Horatio
Indeed I do

Hamlet
Exactly as you remember?

Horatio
Ditto

Hamlet
Did it speak?

Horatio
It tried to but the sun rose and it fled

Hamlet
Come come,my good friend I would stand guard with you tonight
As I believe that I should see this strange occurrence for myself

Horatio
Indeed Sir

(Hamlet tries to say something but isn't able to and Horatio exits)

Hamlet
Life's strange in many ways
First this strange lady who wants to take me to some unknown place
Perhaps it is a trap,perhaps it is not
I do not care much about myself as I do about others
Horatio, Lady Ophelia and even Polonius
To go or not to go
That is the question
But I am afraid that my answer has been made
To all yet I do fear
And do not
For this woman seems harmless enough
And honest too
A quality lacking in so many people
However for all I know,she could be an amazing actress
But aren't we all?
For all the world's a stage
And men and women are simply the players in it
(Exits)
[A/N This is a shorter version of the soliloquy I had prepared]

Scene 2
Location:Taj Mahal
[A/N The entire Act 1 Scene 3 of Hamlet has lapsed within these two scenes but Hamlet has decided to act insane in Denmark]

Polonius
This place is so magnificent

Hamlet
Indeed I could not agree more with you

Ophelia
Why don't we build something like this in Denmark?

Tour guide(softly)
There they go again
[This earns him a sharp nudge from the scientist]

Hamlet
The idea while lovely,my lady is quite impossible
For Denmark's already under a state of unrest and cannot afford all this
I—

Horatio (clearing his throat pointedly)
So are we going to go inside or stand here all day?

Scientist (aside)
Some might wonder who is the future king and who is his friend.

Tour guide
Come along then

(they enter the Taj Mahal)

A passerby to Hamlet
Hey,what's your name? You bear a certain resemblance to Sherlock and Dr. Strange.

Hamlet
Who?

Scientist (hurriedly)
Errr... No one
(to passerby)
Hey,keep your voice down
He is Prince Hamlet
Pray do not reveal anything
And tell all others you meet
To not talk to him
In anyway

(Passerby nods and walks away)

Tour Guide
Pay attention

Hamlet
I am paying attention

Horatio
I am quite afraid,my lord but you are zoning out now and then—

Hamlet
Of all the people on this planet, I would have thought you Horatio—

Horatio
—Which is quite understandable in light of recent events

Scientist
Pray go on Mr. Roy
(to herself)
What possessed me to bring these drama-kings here?
Oh wait,to prove my theory to the world

Tour Guide
As I was saying that,Emperor Shah Jahan wanting to fulfill his beloved late queen Mumtaz Mahal's last wish, built this tomb.

Hamlet
So sad

Horatio(even though he already knows)
What makes you say so,my lord?

Hamlet
What I understand Horatio is that Shah Jahan lost someone close to him
Who he loved dearly, his wife in this case
And as I have experienced, and he was ready to do anything for her
Wanting to fulfill his wife's last wish, he went to great lengths
Which cost him great amounts of wealth leading his kingdom to fall to discord
(off Horatio's look)
You are not the only person who reads Horatio
I have had an ample amount of time to read up on this place from a book which I found quite miraculously kept in front of me
This story is fascinating as it is tragic—

Tour Guide(loudly)
I really have no idea why I have been called to lead you all. Really I don't know

Polonius (obliviously)
To show us this place of course

Ophelia
And what a lovely place this is,the writings and calligraphy in Persian
But I do not understand is how the women dress
And the box like things in almost everyone's hands
And the strange contorted faces they are making
Keeping those things in front
And then eagerly looking at it
Also the strange looks we draw is getting a bit too much

Polonius
Ah,my ever observant daughter

Tour guide
Miss Ophelia, to answer your question
In this era we wear this kind of clothes,the women too
The box-like things are called smartphones and they are making those faces to take pictures
And checking out the pictures

Scientist
And also you all look quite a bit out of place here and so you draw strange looks

Hamlet
And strange comments
I do not know about the others,but I would very much like to know
Why most of the ladies giggle as they pass by me

Ophelia
And whisper when they see me

(Scientist and tour guide look at each other)

Scientist
Erm..... The both of you bear a certain resemblance to characters in a popular TV show so ummm...... that's why they whisper and stare so

Hamlet
Indeed,what a coincidence is that we happen to look similar to characters they know about
Is this merely a coincidence or a well planned act?
To—

Horatio
I believe that's quite enough my lord

Scientist (wearily)
Its alright Horatio
However let me assure you that none of us are out to kill you
Doubt thou the stars are fire
Doubt thou the sun doth move
But do not doubt my honest intentions

Hamlet
What........ Leave....
It seems that I have to work on said assurance
(he zones out again)

Scientist
I believe that we haven't had the time to explore the surroundings completely

Horatio
My lord
(Hamlet does not answer)
(Horatio taps his arm)

Hamlet
What sayest thou to me?

Horatio (visibly startled)
Its me,my lord,Horatio, we are going to go into the open air now and you were not responding to my calls.

Hamlet
Oh its only you Horatio
My thoughts have taken me
Far from my original purpose
I did not mean to sound rude
For —

Tour guide(exasperated)
Don't you get time to talk back at where you live?
By the way you talk, it seems that every conversation will be your last

Scientist
That was rude

Tour guide
I am merely speaking the Truth

Ophelia
To believe or not to believe
That is the question
Whether to suffer the doubts
Or to confront him directly

(They have exited the tomb as Ophelia falls into the water)

Ophelia
By the lord,what place is this

Tour guide
India Taj Mahal,not the —
(Scientist claps a hand over his mouth)

Hamlet
Ophelia, my love,hold my hand and I will bring you out

Polonius
Be careful, how you speak to my daughter, young man

Hamlet
I love said daughter and I am trying to get her out

Polonius
This is an outrage —

(In the meanwhile, Horatio has helped Ophelia out of the water)

Tour guide
First Caesar and now this

Hamlet
Caesar,you say? As in Julius Caesar? Whose wife saw ghosts before his assassination?

Polonius
Why are you so interested in ghosts all of a sudden?

Horatio
He wondered whether or not they exist

Hamlet
Indeed it is so

Scientist
I believe that it would be best if you all go back now. Otherwise the story may be altered.

Tour guide
You remember that now?

Scientist
ERM.... Yes,so it was nice to meet you all

Hamlet, Polonius, Ophelia and Horatio
The feeling's  mutual

Scientist
So buh-bye

[Scientist and Tour guide move away as the others stay in place]

Scene 3
Location: Road leading up to the Elinsore hall

Hamlet
So back to Denmark, yay

Polonius
Atleast, my daughter's safe

Ophelia
I am dripping wet and hurt and both of you can only think about theatrics?

Horatio
My Lord, Lady Ophelia's right. She is shivering.

Polonius
You get your hands off her,first young man

Ophelia
For the love of God,he was the one who rescued me when the both of you were busy arguing.

Hamlet
Forgive me, my lady. Let me escort you to your room.

Horatio
And let me escort myself to my books
(Exeunt)

So erm..... How was it people?
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