Requested by WheezingCreature

Mortal Kombat vs JoJo's Bizarre Adventure, which two combatants with charms and strength will become the true star of the show?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=92H3Mscg7QQ

<Cue: Invader Theme>

Toomi: In real life and social wide media-alike there are people who are brash, bold, and dashingly handsome and beautiful yet full of themselves.

Megumi: And those two are the epitome of this!

Toomi: Such as Johnny Cage, the stuntman turned legendary hero of Mortal Kombat.

Megumi: And Joseph Joestar, the grandson of Jonathan Joestar, she's Sachi, Toomi and I'm Megumi.

Sachi: And it's our job to analyse their weapons, armor and skills to find out who would win a Death Battle

Johnny Cage Shadow Kicks into What if Battles

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FrG4TEcSuRg

<Cue: Daddy by PSY feat CL>

Toomi: Throughout all of Earthrealm... and Hollywood... one actor's name was synonymous with action movies: Johnny Cage. The guy starred in everything from Dragon Fist I and II and Sudden Silence to Citizen Cage and Ninja Mime.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uuTeJ6tbyB4

Johnny: Where'd you get these guys?!

Megumi: But unfortunately for him, movie critics were skeptical of his actual combat proficiency and wrote him off as relying too much on special effects

Sachi: To prove himself to them and the movie-going crowd, Cage decided to enter the Mortal Kombat tournament... which just happened to hold the fate of the entire realm.

Megumi: There, he caught the eye of Lord Raiden, you know, the Japanese God of Thunder himself, who enlisted him in the Defenders of Earthrealm and from there, he's aided the forces of good in their battle against evil. Tell me how many actors do that at least as a part time job.

Toomi: Not just that, eventually, Johnny and Sonya Blade got married and the two had a daughter named Cassie Cage though the two ended up getting a divorce due to how obsessed Sonya is with her Special Forces career.

Sachi: But Johnny then got back together with her, only to lose Sonya during a mission into the Neatherrealm, meeting his past self before aiding Fire God Liu Kang in taking down Kronika.

Toomi: Johnny Cage was trained with multiple masters of martial arts and is adept in multiple fighting styles including karate and jeet kune do, and his so-called "special effects" are actually performed by him.

Megumi: Yeah well, there is difference between a stuntman and an actor who performs his own stunts.

Johnny Cage

Super Strength

Peak level Durability

Jeet Kune Do

Karate

Shinto Ryu

Shorin Ryu

Plasmic Bolt

Shadow Kick

Shadow Uppercut

Eclipse Kick

Nut Breaker

Fatalities

Head Pop, Torso Rip, Super Split Punch

Red Shadow Mode

When near-death, his power increases

Toomi: But his notable powers is that green energy that surrounds his body. A mystical power passed down through generations, originally stemming from a Mediterranean War cult, which bred and trained combatants to fight among the gods.

Sachi: This power manifests not just as a shield against divine forces, but also as a mythical energy Cage can weaponize. He can fire Shadow Bolt energy balls, punch you to pieces with a Shadow Uppercut, do a Guile impression with the Eclipse Kick, and knock the shit outta you with his patented Shadow Kick.

Megumi: But that's not his most powerful technique. Let me tell you something guys, this man Johnny Cage possess the most dirty and yet brutal technique fatal to all.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yfmrueFxI4A

<Shows footages of Johnny Cage punching Kano right in the balls>

Megumi: It's the Nutcracker, the Berry Buster, the Infertilizer, the Beanbag Barrage, the low blow, the ballbuster or cuntbuster, if his opponent is a girl. Cause those things sure hurt girls the same way it hurt Kano over there.

Toomi: He's also strong enough to rip apart humans in half, take down enemies like Baraka, Reptile and Sonya in combat.

Sachi: And with his powers, he has bested the likes of an elder God like Shinnok, the same Shinnok who once almost wiped out all life on Earth fighting Raiden eons before the events of the game.

Megumi: And yes, he even defeated his younger self. Talk about beating yourself up.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6bhTzroM0mc

Johnny: An old man just kicked your ass.

Feats

Can punch people so hard in the groin their legs fall off

Defeated Goro with a single nut punch

Reacts against Scorpion's spear

Can deliver an uppercut strong enough to decapitate someone

And sometimes do this three times on the same opponent (somehow)

Defeated Reptile, Baraka, Sonya, and Kano

Held his own against Goro alongside Sonya and Kano

Survived against Shang Tsung, Kitana, Mileena, Jade, Baraka, and Kintaro before help arrived

Survived against Sindel, who brutally killed a majority of his fellow Earthrealm defenders

Tanked both Scorpion's Hellfire and Sub-Zero's Ice Powers at the same time

Tackled Scorpion off of a flying helicopter and lived

One shotted a Kamidogu amped Jacqui Briggs

Defeated Scorpion, Sub-Zero, Smoke and Jax Briggs (as revenants)

Single-handedly beat Shinnok once he tapped into his Green Energy

Survived a lightning attack from a Kamidogu amped Raiden

A surprisingly good father

Caught Reptile's tongue with fast reflexes

Dodged a bullet before punching Past Kano hard in the balls

Defeated his Past Self, Past Erron Black, Past Sektor, and Past Kano

Toomi: In fact, Johnny is also tough enough to take punishment, once getting frozen by Sub-Zero's ice, burnt by Scorpion's hellfire, fell off a helicopter and even got up from it.

Megumi: So don't be surprise if Johnny here can punch people with low blows so powerful he sends their legs flying.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tq5EqMaIWqw

<Shows footages of Johnny Cage punching Kitana in the groin repeatly before facing the viewers and throwing a single punch, instantly killing her>

Toomi: However, despite his powers, Johnny is not invincible, for his ego and arrogance has more than often gotten him in trouble, even putting him in danger multiple times.

Sachi: And he's really full of himself.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_zwbjOU6Izg

Sonya: You are the most egotistical, self-deluded person I have ever met!

Johnny: Yeah, well you forget good looking.

Megumi: Did I mentioned that Johnny is not as great as an actor as he claims himself to be?

Weakness

Has a massive ego that's gotten him in trouble on multiple occasions

Arrogant, cocky and full of himself

Not as good of an actor as he claims to be

Lost to Cyrax, Jackson Briggs, *Kitana (Alongwith Smoke), Ermac and Sindel

Beaten by Scorpion (MKX)

Killed by Motaro, Tarkatan hordes, Shao Kahn and in the Battle of Armageddon

Ball Buster leaves him vulnerable to projectiles

Loved ones have to be in danger for him to go into an empowered state

Past Johnny Cage lost against himself

Past Johnny Cage was beaten by Present Kano, Sonya, Sindel and Shao Kahn

Toomi: And despite the Godly power that allows him to best an Elder God, Johnny is has lost against opponents weaker that he is, getting beaten by Shao Kahn and Scorpion. It's also worth to note that his powers can only happen if his loved ones are in danger

Sachi: And plus in the Battle of Armageddon, Motaro killed him.

Megumi: But despite his attitude, Johnny has indeed matured to the point that if you mess with his wife or daughter, heh, you're gonna lose your balls

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JfbJG0nvWsE

Johnny: Every fight I fought, I fought for myself! But this one. This one's for my family!

Joseph Joestar crusades into What if Battles

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xy2tGqgnoYY

<Cue: Dance by DNCE>

Toomi: Joseph Joestar is the grandson of the Brittish vampire hunter Jonathan Joestar.

Sachi: Now, the Joestar family is known for their fighting prowess, but they once were just a small aristocratic family who lived in peace...

Megumi: Until a sexy, yet not shiny, vampire ruined them and Jonathan was forced to learn the art of fighting using Hamon, or Ripple.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l-NidcMz_xk

Dio: It was me, Dio!

Toomi: Hamon is a powerful energy that anyone can harness if they learn how to breath correctly. Luckily, Joseph inherited this ability. He was trained to perfect it by the mysterious Lisa Lisa.

Megumi: Who turns out to his mom.

Sachi: But he didn't take intensive lessons just for fun. He needed to master the usage of Hamon to defeat the Pillar Men. These half-naked aztec-looking guys were some sort of superior humans with super powers, but they couldn't come into contact with sunlight.

Toomi: But once he defeated the Pillar Men, Joseph settled down for a while. Until he found out his daughter Holly had been cursed by the evil vampire, Dio.

Sachi: He travelled from America, to Japan, to Egypt. With a couple of transhipments along the way, but he made it thanks to his Stand, Hermit Purple

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i4vv3aR73z0

<Shows footages of Joseph summoning Hermit Purple>

Toomi: Joseph's Stand is one that manifests itself as a tangle of thorny vines, which Joseph can wield as both a weapon and a defense, as well as channel Hamon through the vines. He can use the vines to ensnare enemies or grab objects from a distance and can be used as a rope to pull his body out of danger.

Joseph Joestar

Hamon Hair Attack

Overdrive

Rebuff Overdrive

Zoom Punch

Hamon Overdrive

Near-Death Survival Technique

Hamon Beat

Clacker Volley

Clacker Boomerang

Hermit Purple

Peak Level Durability

Great Intelligience

Tommy Gun

Toomi: Hermit Purple's main ability is to divine information. By using any object or material in conjunction with Hermit Purple, Joseph Joestar can display any information he wishes to see. To date, he has used Hermit Purple to Produce psychic photographs by destroying a camera. The broken camera then produces a photograph which will reveal the information as it is in that moment of time, such as a person in their current situation.

Megumi: It can also conjure a map out of dust on an unpaved road, with precision on the location of the desired item.

Toomi: And with his Hamon abilities, Joseph is one strong man, capable of beating Straizo, a being who is just as powerful as Dio Brando without any training.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2-5gUh5MkRQ

<Shows footages of Joseph using his Hamon to deflect the projectile back into Straizo>

Megumi: How ironic, he says he won't be as dumb as Dio, only to die two episodes later. So who's the dumb one now?

Sachi: His Hamon ability has also allowed him to block bullets from Santana after ripping Stroheim's hair off. And just to note, the fastest bullet can fly more than 2,600 feet per second. That's equivalent to over 1,800 miles per hour.

Megumi: If you think that's impressive enough, that is nothing compared to the time Joseph dodged a beam of light shot from the Red Stone of Aja.

Toomi: We've Recorded that Joseph's Size of his Body and Head from the Length of the Beam we've Calculated that Joseph have Had Dodged at Least 2.324c That's around FTL Reactions to Put that into Perspective.

Feats

Defeated Straizo, who is comparable to Dio, without any training or fighting experience against Vampires.

Defeated all 4 Pillar Men.

Defeated Santana without any training, Santana is a lot stronger than both Straizo and Dio.

Outsmarted the likes of Esidisi, who was smart enough to trick Joseph several times and has been to China during the lifetime of the famous strategist Sun Tzu.

The first human to wound Wamuu in over two millennia, using the warrior's pride to get a reprieve to fully master Hamon, and then eventually beat the Pillar Man at his best sport and mind game.

Managed to send Kars drifting into deep space.

Dodged a beam of light shot from the Red Stone of Aja.

Broke Kars' Brilliant Bone Blades with a Hamon charge chop (Kars' Brilliant Bone Blades can cut through 30 mm armour piercing ammo).

Has extreme luck and strategy on his side, uses anything around him as an advantage planned or not

Grew to be the oldest JoJo alive, living up to 1999 - Part 4: Diamond is Unbreakable (Possibly until 2011 - Part 6: Stone Ocean).

Survived 4 plane crashes in his lifetime (Two in his youth: 14-18 and two in his elder years: 67).

Survived being drained of blood by DIO, and immediately pretended to be possessed by DIO once Jotaro managed to revive him.

Did the Hells Pillar Climb in 61 hours without sleep, food or hydration

Megumi: And plus this guy has literally survived four plan crashes in his entire lifetime. Four! I would be lucky if I could even survive one.

Toomi: Would? How are you still alive?

Megumi: Maybe cause I'm already dead.

Toomi: Oh yeah. Anyway, despite his abilities, Joseph is known for being a complete hothead, being confrontational and even tends to fool around a lot.

Sachi: Not to mention his Hamon is less effective against living beings since due to Hamons being positive energy from the sun, there are mostly used for healing wounds or ailments, and combat creatures such as vampires or zombies.

Megumi: And he's really bad at becoming a woman.

Sachi: Becoming a woman?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=svqegGYB6ac

Joseph: Oh, I've got under my skirt more tequila big boy. Is that alright to bring that through too?

Weakness

Acts childish when plans and next lines don't go his way, expressing that he has trouble against opponents who are heavily tenacious.

Despite his clackers being his signature weapon, they rarely do anything.

Hamon is less effective against living beings.

Incredibly hotheaded, impetuous, and confrontational.

Not very serious or focused.

Tends to be a fool and mess around.

Very unconvincing disguise as a woman.

Made sly comments about Lisa Lisa, even once peeping on her while bathing, unaware that she was his mother until months after defeating the Pillar Men.

Considers losing his daughter to Kujo as an excuse to hate the Japanese, though he likes items made in Japan and had an affair with a Japanese woman.

Was nearly killed by DIO.

Became senile some time before Part 4.

Toomi: Oh if you think that's bad, how about the time he peeked at Lisa Lisa, only to find out she was his mother months after beating the Pillar Men.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A80WaKvf3-8

Joseph: Nice

Sachi: And plus he ended up becoming senile.

Megumi: But let's just say, Joseph has fought Gods, survived plane crashes, dodged light and even beaten Vampires, he's definitely lived up Grandfather Jonathan's legacy.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ujykAuTt81A

Joseph Joestar: OH MY GOD!!!

Toomi: Alright, the combatants are set, let's end this debate once and for all.

Sachi: Don't forget to vote, comment what you think of the fight.

Megumi: Yeah, but right now, it's time for a Death Battle!

Fight

Desert

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eVD9j36Ke94

<Cue: Kamikaze by MO>

Driving through a blazing hot desert, Joseph sat in his car, yawning as he said to himself.

Joseph: This is boring, I wonder when am I going to reach the next town soon.

Just then, Joseph heard a loud crash, causing him to halt right in his tracks.

CRASH!!!

Joseph: What the?!

Joseph got out of the car, stepping forward and what he saw causes his eyes to widen.

Joseph: OH NO!!!

Lying tattered beneath the wheels of his car is a large video camera, crushed under the car's weight.

Joseph: Oh no! What am I going to do?

Joseph contemplates his situation when he heard a loud voice calling out to him.

???: Hey you!

Joseph: Shit!

Joseph spun around, finding himself staring at a middle aged man with a pair of sunglasses staring at him.

His name is Johnny Cage, the most famous Hollywood Star.

Johnny steps towards Joseph, his eyes widens in shock as he exclaims out.

Johnny: Holy shit man, did you just crushed my 500 000 dollar camera?! My cameraman's gonna kill me!

Joseph: Uh...it wasn't me.

Joseph tries to deny, only for Johnny to throw a straight punch right in his face.

BAM!!!

Joseph: AAAHHHHH!!!

As Joseph staggers back, Johnny raises up his fists, declaring out to the Joestar.

Joseph: Prepare to be Caged!

Announcer: Fight!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GCVzmjWJdAU

<Cue: Sono Chi no Sadame instrumental>

Both Joseph and Johnny rushes forward, the two struck by exchanging blows amongst themselves.

WHAM!!! BAM!!! POW!!!

Joseph: Hamon Beat!

Hamon energy flows around Joseph's arm as he lunges forward, striking into Johnny.

WHAM!!!

Johnny swings his arm up, launching a green energy sphere only for Joseph to duck, dodging the attack before throwing a straight kick right into his chest.

WHAM!!!

Joseph: Rebuff Overdrive!

WHAM!!!

Johnny then retaliates by performing a Shadow Kick, striking right into Joseph.

BAM!!!

Joseph grits his teeth as the impact of the blow sends him crashing into a nearby boulder.

CRASH!!!

Johnny jumps up into the air, backflipping before landing feet first onto the ground, smugly bragging out.

Johnny: I make this look easy!

Joseph pushes himself up, shaking his head as he said.

Joseph: You sure are tough but wait tilll you see this.

Joseph pulls out a clacker and he throws it across, aiming it straight at Johnny.

However, right at that moment, Johnny ducks underneath the clackers, sliding below the floor before thrusting his fist out, striking Joseph square in the groin.

CRACK!!!

Joseph's entire body freeze, feeling the sheer impact rupturing through his groin area as he screams out in sheer agony.

Joseph: OH MY GOD!!!

Joseph staggers back, clutching his groin in agony as he winces.

Joseph: Shit...yeow...ow...

Johnny pushes himself up, smirking as he said to Joseph.

Johnny: Looks like your balls just got clacked!

Joseph looks up, narrowing his eyes as he growls.

Joseph: You're gonna pay for that.

However, right at that moment, Johnny lunges forward, striking Joseph with another Shadow Kick.

WHOOM!!!

As Joseph is up in the air, Johnny swings his legs back, performing a Shadow backflip.

WHAM!!!

Joseph pulls out his clacker before thrusting it forward, striking Johnny hard in the face.

WHAM!!!

Johnny: ARGHHHHH!!! Not the face!

Joseph then pulls out a tommygun, aiming it at Johnny as he declares out.

Joseph: Say hello to my little friend!

BANG!!! BANG!!! BANG!!!

At that exact moment, Johnny's entire body began glowing green as he sprints forward, the bullets bouncing off his skin just as he jumps up, striking Joseph with a single elbow.

WHAM!!!

Joseph lands by his feet, clenching his fists as Hamon energy engulfs around his hands.

WHOOM!!!

Both Johnny and Joseph sprints forward, the two began exchanging blows through a massive flurry of punches.

WHAM!!! BAM!!! POW!!!

Joseph then thrusts his hand out, screaming out.

Joseph: HERMIT PURPLE!!!

SHOOK!!!

At that moment, a long purple thorny tendril ejects out of Joseph's arm, wrapping itself around Johnny Cage.

Twip! Twip!

Johnny: What the? What is that? How come I can't move my arm.

Joseph: This is my Stand, Hermit Purple. Considering how you can't see it, bet you're not a Stand user aren't you?

Johnny: What's a stand?

Johnny asks, only for Joseph to tug his arm out, sending the Hollywood Star flying towards him.

Twip!

Joseph then swings his arm out, striking Johnny square in the face.

WHAM!!!

Joseph then pulls out his hat, engulfing it in Hamon energy before thrusting his arm out, sending the threads striking right into Johnny.

SHOK!!! SHOK!!! SHOK!!!

Johnny: AAAAAHHHHHH!!!

With the threads engulfed with Hamon energy, Johnny lets out a loud agonizing cry, feeling what felt like a thousand needles piercing through his skin.

Joseph's arm engulfs itself completely in Hamon energy as he swings his arm out, screaming.

Joseph: Hamon Overdrive!

BAM!!!

With a single chop, Johnny's entire body was instantly split in half, blood pouring all over the sand as the Hollywood Star collapses onto the ground.

Plop!

Joseph adjusts his hat, patting his hand clean of dust as he said to himself.

Joseph: Boy am I beat. Now let's go get that breakfast at the next town.

Joseph then heads back to the car, leaving Johnny's corpse lying in the sand.

KO!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H8NiTs974vY

<Cue: Forever In My Dreams by Little Slow Motion>

Megumi: OH MY GOD!!! Now that's a show for stars!

Toomi: This certainly was a really interesting match to say. Johnny's strength and power is certainly strong enough to keep up with Joseph but the Joestar's experience, speed and even more absurb power is more than Johnny could handle.

Megumi: I mean Johnny being able to crush diamonds is impressive and all but that is literally nothing compared to Joseph Brilliant Bone Blade, which has been shown blocking 30mm armor piercing ammo.

Sachi: Just to note, the toughness of natural diamond has been measured as 2.0 MPa m1/2, which is good compared to other gemstones like aquamarine(blue colored), but poor compared to most engineering materials. While even the weakest bullet is capable of generating 275 ft-lbs of energy which is more than capable of shattering a diamond.

Megumi: So by comparing it to a 30mm armor piercing bullet, yup, we know where this goes.

Toomi: Not just that but Joseph's speed is also far beyond what Johnny Cage is capable of. Johnny was able to move fast to dodge a gunshot from Kano but that is nothing compared to the time Joseph literally dodged light itself.

Sachi: And in actual scientific fact, nothing moves faster than light. Not even a bullet.

Megumi: I bet you guys were even wondering, but what about Shinnok? Didn't Johnny defeat an Elder God?

Toomi: There are a few factors that counters this, first of, Johnny Cage's powers only activates when either his love ones are in danger, and second of all, Johnny's powers only work on Elder Gods, something which Joseph is not.

Sachi: And despite beating Shinnok, it still does not change the fact that weaker enemies like Tarkartans have killed Johnny in the original timeline.

Megumi: And plus, Joseph himself actually defeated the Pillar Men, who are literal Aztec Gods. The same Pillar Men who has shown speed and power that exceeds even Vampires like Dio and Straizo and Santana. 

Toomi: What's more, Joseph has outsmarted the likes of Esidisi, a Pillar Man who has been in China during the lifetime of the great Sun Tzu himself. Who possesses far greater knowledge than what Johnny himself has shown.

Sachi: And with his Hamon and Hermit Purple, Joseph has all he needs to kill Johnny Cage.

Toomi: Completely overwhelming Johnny in strength, speed, power and knowledge, we can conclude that Joseph Joestar has what if takes to win this match.

Megumi: Looks like Joseph took a Stand, and became the main Star of the show.

Sachi: The winner is Joseph Joestar.

Joseph: Your training it nothing compared to what I've been through!

Toomi: Hey guys, thank you so much for checking out our battle in What if Battles 2.

Sachi: If you want more content like this, don't forget to add this in your library and comment if you have any idea for a fight.

Megumi: Until then, next time on What if Battles....

Up Next

Ryu

VS

Green Ranger

Ryu vs Green Ranger

Trivia

* The connections between Johnny Cage and Joseph Joestar is that both combatants are cocky martial artist who are brash, good looking, clever and has a knack for cracking jokes. The two also inherited powers from an ancestral line which were used to fighting enemies of the supernatural, Elder Gods for Johnny Cage and Vampires for Joseph Joestar.

* The two are also known for being womanizers, having the love of flirting and having affairs with women

* Both their names also starts with a J.

* Shockingly, both Johnny and Joseph has accidentally made rather incestuous remarks towards their family members with young Johnny accidentally flirting with Cassie Cage in one of his intros in Mortal Kombat 11 and Joseph peeking at Lisa Lisa in the showers, only to find out that she was his mother.

* This is the first time a Mortal Kombat character fights a JoJo's Bizarre Adventure Character

* This is the first time a JoJo's Bizarre Adventure character wins a What if Battle

* This is the third time a Mortal Kombat character loses a What if Battle, the first being Scorpion vs Ghost Rider and RoboCop vs Stryker

* The part where Johnny Cage talked about a 500 000 dollar camera is a reference to Goro crushing his 500 dollar sunglasses in the classic Mortal Kombat movie

* The part where Joseph talked about eating breakfast after the fight was referenced from the aftermath of his battle against Mariah