Evening :

STILL ASHLEY'S POV :

     Right now , I'm back at my house , along with Andy , Juliet , CC , and  Tiff , who are staying with me for the weekend . Juliet's phone rings , and after talking for a few minutes , she  tells Tiff that  Shannon would like for all the girls to get together at her place , to sort of get acquainted with Tiana . They take off , and shortly after that , the guys start making their way over here . Jinxx and Blasko get here first , then Jake , and finally Rick comes trailing in , still looking pretty shook up . Jake informs us that Brian and Scott have elected to stay home and have some "alone time" , while they have the place to themselves .

     After everyone grabs a drink and a seat , Andy looks over at Rick and says ;

     "OK, maybe I shouldn't ask , but I'm going to anyway . What the hell happened awhile ago ? Brian freaks out and almost jumps out of a moving car , and then we find you basically getting your ass handed to you by someone that you and Ash haven't seen since high school ! Who the hell holds a grudge for that long ?"

     Rick looks over at me , letting me know that this is my call . I take a deep breath and say , "Tiana , or Chrissy , as we called her then , was my girlfriend through my senior year of high school ."

     "Let me guess , you dumped her to come out to LA , right ?" , CC asks .

     "Not exactly ." , I tell him . "It's more like I broke up with her BY moving to LA ."

     Everyone seems to be a bit confused by that , so Rick and I explain the situation .

     " Oh, no , can't begin to imagine why that might make someone feel just a bit hostile ." , Blasko says when we finish .

     "Yeah , I know, man ! That's not something I'm exactly proud of . I should've handled it a lot better than I did ." I respond .

     "It seems like she's more pissed at Rick than you right now ." , Jinxx observes .

     Rick says ; "No , she pretty much despises both of us . She's just focused on me right now because I'm the one dating her sister . Also , I got a pretty clear idea that she doesn't want Scott and Shan to know they went out , so she's basically ignoring him as much as possible ." 

    "She did kinda make a point of leaving that out , didn't she ?" , I mumble , mostly to myself .

     "What I want to hear about is  when she 'whaled on your ass' , as your brother put it before he tried to hurl himself into oncoming traffic ." Blasko tells him .

     "Yeah , that pretty much says it all ." , Rick admits . "When she found out what had actually happened , she went off ! She bitched me out royally , slapped me so hard she left a bruise , and told me that if I ever came anywhere near her again , she would , and I quote , ' Fuck me up so bad my own family wouldn't recognize me' . Hell , my own brother didn't speak to me  for almost a year , and I was persona - non - grata at my best friends house for a long time after that ."

     "You mean Mark Shaw ? Why ?" I ask him .

     "Because Kelli was there with Chrissy and Bri when everything blew up , and she told their parents the whole story . They decided I wasn't someone they wanted around being an example for Mark's little brother , so we had to hang out elsewhere , and Kelli still hates my guts , and apparently yours, too ."

     "So you had to deal with all of the shit because I made a lousy decision ." , I sigh . "I'm sorry about that , dude ."

     "We both made a bad decision , Ash . I didn't have to agree to help you . Unfortunately , neither of us considered how be things would get ."

     "What do you mean by that ?" 

     "Dude , you know half the girls at school had it out for her , cause you decided to go out with a sophomore instead of one of them . And after all the talk you guys did about you getting a job to save money and going to LA together when she graduated , when it didn't happen that way , they apparently got pretty brutal . She wound up dropping out three weeks into junior year . That wasn't long after she got out of the hospital , either , so I'm sure that didn't help ." 

     "Wait , what ? Hospital ? What the hell ?" , I ask .

     "She was the one Bri was talking about at the studio the other day . Apparently she was riding around with him and Kelli one day , and her appendix burst . He freaked out so bad that he called Kyle , instead of 911 . Good thing Kyle's mom was a doctor , she figure out what was happening and had them drive to her office . I heard her Aunt Mary talking to Mom about it , she had to operate right there in the office , because she probably would've died before they got to the hospital ."

     "Who's Kyle ?" Andy asks .

     "Kyle Tolliver was Brian's first boyfriend , he graduated with me and Ash . They kept everything on the down - low ' til Bri graduated , apparently Chrissy and Kelli were the only ones who knew ." , Rick says .

     I add , "Yeah , Kyle was a good guy , they were together for quite a while , but he died in a car crash about seven years ago."

     We hang out and talk for another couple of hours , until Shan calls Rick and says that the girls are  heading back to whoever's house they're bunking at , so the guys all take off , except CC and Andy , of course .

     I catch Rick at the door before he leaves , and ask , "Why did I never hear any of that , before , man ?" 

     He shrugs , and says , "I dunno, you never mentioned her anytime you called home , so I guess we we all figured that either you weren't interested , or you'd forgotten about her ."

    Then he walks out , leaving me with my mouth hanging open .

     Anybody with eyes can see that Rick is totally crazy about Shan , but now I have to wonder how invested he was in any of his other relationships if he could think that .

     You don't EVER forget the first person who stakes a claim on your heart . Even if they disappear from your life , and you never see them again , there are things that will always bring back the memories , and a little piece of yourself that you'll never get back , because they still have it .

     That was one of the hardest things I've ever done in my life . Yes, we used to talk about going to California together , but that would have meant waiting two years , and I just started feeling like if I waited that long, I'd lose my chance , and never go . But I couldn't face the idea of looking into those big trusting eyes and actually saying those words to her , so I just bailed .

     Unfortunately , judging by what I've seen and heard today , it seems like I fucked up even worse than I would have dreamed .