ASHLEY'S POV :

      I get out of the car and walk toward the door , with my cousin still staring at me as if he's trying to bore holes through me with his eyes alone . As I step up onto the porch , he steps back and opens the door , allowing me to step inside .

      I've barely made it past the front door when I feel something hit my back , and I'm flying face - first toward the floor . I put my hands out to keep from slamming my head into something , and when we hit the floor , I grab him . We roll over a couple of times ,and I wind up flat on my back , with Brian straddling my chest . I look up at him , and for the first time in my life , I'm actually a little bit afraid of him . I've never seen him this angry , and I'm honestly not sure what he might do .

      "Brian , I ..." , I start to say .

      "Shut up !" , he practically snarls at me . "Just . Shut . Your . Fucking . Mouth ! I'll talk , you'll listen . And if you say one goddamn word before I'm finished , you may as well call the guys and tell them to start looking for your replacement ! Because I swear to you , you will never play an instrument again as long as you fucking live ! Are we clear ?" 

      I look at him again , and I can see by his expression that he's completely serious , so I just nod .

      "Good ! Now , I'm going to ask you a question , and all I want to hear from you is 'Yes' or 'No' , okay ? My question is , do you have any idea what an ectopic pregnancy is ?"

      I think about it , and I can't come up with anything , so I shake my head , and wait for him to go on .

      "Kinda what I figured ." , he said . "I won't even hold that against you , a lot of people don't know that one . Allow me to enlighten you , then . It's also more commonly known as a tubal pregnancy , and that's when an embryo ends up growing in one of the fallopian tubes , instead of traveling to the uterus . It's impossible to carry to full term , and it can be extremely dangerous if it's not found early enough . People have actually died from it , Ashley ."

     As this sinks into my brain , I feel my stomach starting to roll over , and I couldn't think of anything to say even if he wouldn't punch my lights out .

     "THAT'S what happened , you stupid prick ! She made me and Kelli promise that we wouldn't tell anybody until she'd gotten to the point that nobody could try to make her get rid of it , and she was trying to figure out some way to make sure that you didn't get in trouble when everybody did find out ! To this day , I can't begin to imagine why she gave a damn , after you were such a complete asshole ." 

      "So , a couple of weeks after her birthday , the three of us were riding around , talking about the best way to tell everybody , and all of a sudden she just let out this ungodly scream , it scared me so bad I almost went off the road ! Kelli was freaking out , too , and the only thing my brain would come up with was to call Kyle ."

      He pauses for a few seconds , taking several deep breaths , then says , "So I called him , and we got lucky , because his mom was at his place , so she said to meet her at her office ."

      When he says this , I remember that Kyle's mom was a doctor , so I guess maybe his brain had latched onto that without even realizing it . He pauses again , and I see that tears are running down his face .

      "We got to the office , and it didn't take long for her to figure out what was happening ." , he says  . "Lucky for us , she was more interested in making sure she was okay than in doing things by the book , so she operated on her right there in her office . She actually went ahead and took out her appendix , too , just to make sure that everything matched what she put down . We were sitting out there in the waiting room until she finished , and I heard her talking to Kyle while we were waiting for the ambulance to come and take her to the hospital ."

      "I don't know for sure if Kelli heard her or not , but I heard her tell him that if we'd been maybe five or ten minutes later , she probably would've died ." 

      He grabs the front of my shirt and leans down , so our noses are almost touching . "She almost fucking DIED , you worthless fuck , do you get that ? She almost died , because you couldn't keep it in your fucking pants when you couldn't get ahold of a rubber , and you were off livin' the dream , going to college , polishing your stupid image , and fucking anything that jiggled a boob at you ! And you have the unadulterated gall to try to play the victim here ? If I wasn't so pissed off , I'd laugh in your face !"

      He let's go of my shirt so fast that the back of my head hits the floor , and climbs off of me . He stands and stares at me , with his arms crossed , until I pick myself up off of the floor .

     "Brian , I'm sorry ..."

      "Wow , I guess we do agree on something today , after all !" , he says , cutting me off .

     I wish I could argue with that , but I can't . I feel like the lowest possible form of life right now , and I have no idea what to do about it .

      "Yeah , you're right , I can't argue the point . I seriously fucked things up , I know , but I can't do anything about fixing it unless I talk to Tiana . So please just tell me where she is , so I can talk to her ." 

      He looks at me like I've grown a second head , and says , "You can't be fucking serious ! For one thing , she didn't say where she was going , and for another , I wouldn't tell you if she had ! She deserves better than you , Ashley , you're toxic ! In the unlikely event that you ever actually cared anything about her , leave her alone and let her forget you ever existed . All you ever manage to do is fuck with her head and make her miserable , so just stop !"

      He walks over and opens the door again , making a sweeping motion with his hand , indicating that I should leave , and as I walk out , he says "Oh yeah , Ash , one more thing . Don't come back , you're not welcome here anymore . And I won't presume to speak for Scott , but I'll be looking for another job ." Then he slams the door , and I hear it lock .

     I get back in the car and drive home , and I barely manage to get to the bathroom before I heave my guts up . When I'm finally able to sort of function , I take out my phone and try to call Tiana , only to find out that she's blocked my number , and I just break down and bawl like a little kid , right here in the bathroom floor . How did I manage to screw things up so badly ? Why does it seem like I can never do anything right as far as she's concerned ? 

      How can I love someone this much , and hurt them so badly ?

                                  ___________________________________

      I've been trying to get in touch with Tiana for the last week , hoping she'll unblock me and give me a chance to apologize , but it hasn't happened . Everybody knows that we're not talking right now , and that Bri is mad at me over it , but they don't know the details , partly because T hasn't wanted to discuss it with anyone , and partly because nobody wants to stress Shan right now .

      I would absolutely LOVE to just sit here and get completely smashed right now , but I won't let myself drink , just in case she decides to talk to me . So I'm just sitting around the house being miserable , when my phone rings . I check the display , and it's CC . I answer the call , and instead of "Hello" , or anything like that , he says , "Dude , what the fuck happened ?" 

      "Could you be just a little more specific ?" , I ask . "That question covers a lot of ground right now ." 

      "I'm talking about you and Tiana , man ! She said you guys aren't together anymore , so what the hell ?"

      I nearly fall out of my chair when he says this . "You mean she's there ?" , I yell into the phone .

      "Not like right here in front of me , but we ran into her yesterday , so she's here in town . What's up ?" 

      I fill him in on how much of an ass I made of myself , and my fight with Brian , and when I finish , he's quiet for several seconds , then he sort of mumbles , "Yeah , that might do it !" 

      "Might do WHAT , C ?", I ask him .

      He pauses again , then says , " Dude , she's apparently thinking about moving to New York . At least that's what she said yesterday ." 

      No , that can't happen ! I need to talk to her , try to fix this . Even if she doesn't want to be with me anymore , I need to apologize , for everything .

      "Did she tell you where she's staying ?" , I question him .

      "No , she didn't , but ..."

      "But what ? Come on , C , help me here !" 

      "If anyone asks , I didn't tell you this , but Tiff invited her over here for lunch tomorrow . She's supposed to be here around noon . So if you just happened to drop in unexpectedly ...." , he says .

     "I've gotta go , man ! I have to book myself a flight . I'll see you tomorrow !"