WARNING:
EMOTIONAL CONTENT
Includes bereavement, grief processes, death and emotional distress.
Nothing really seemed to make sense the next day. Everyone's minds were foggy, as if yesterday's tragedy happened years ago. To different people. And they were just witnesses. Sadly, only one of those was true. No one could've prepared them for having to watch a companion meet such a brutal end. Gigi awoke several times in the night, the terrifying image of the burning tree crashing down on Naomi haunting her. Some of the original Opulant rebel group exchanged greetings as they woke up, but the new group could barely bring themselves to look at each other. Noah spotted Audrey staring out into the distance, towards the area that used to be their camp. Rummaging in his backpack, he pulled out a small cherry pie, before walking over to her.
"Here", he simply said.
Audrey turned her head to look at him, her gaze falling to the pie almost instantly.
"Are they the ones you make back home?", she questioned, her eyes widening a little when he nodded. "You said Luna and I weren't allowed to touch them."
"Yeah, well, I'm revoking that rule just this once", he said, the upper corner of his lip raising into the smallest smile Audrey had ever seen.
Audrey noticed Maaria walking past, Naomi's blanket huddled close to her chest. Audrey tilted her head in Maaria's direction, making Noah turn. His face softened when he saw Maaria.
"I think she needs it more than I do", said Audrey.
Drea emerged from the medical hut, a confused expression on her face. Holly walked past her, but was stopped in her tracks when Drea put an arm in front of her.
"Hey, what's with all the dawdling? We've got an essence to find, remember?"
Holly raised an eyebrow, unsure whether blocking out Naomi's death was her way of dealing with it, or if she was just always this nonchalant. When Drea placed her hands on her hips, clearly waiting for an answer, Holly cleared her throat.
"Um, well... we did just lose Naomi. And we had to move camp because Deidre and her group betrayed us. I don't think the essence mission is really on any of our minds right now", replied Holly.
Drea scoffed, her mouth forming a scowl. "Are you serious? That's the perfect incentive for us to keep going! We can't lose any more, Holly."
Holly understood what Drea meant. They had to keep pushing forward so they could make a real difference. Even though the other group's motives weren't clear, Holly knew they couldn't let them achieve their goals.
But... she just couldn't bring herself to commit to the mission. Not right now. Not after yesterday.
Annoyed by Holly's silence, Drea stormed off. Lyndi approached Holly, having overheard their conversation. She placed an arm around Holly, pulling her into a hug.
"Hey, I know it's Mikhail and I's turn to get more firewood, but do you think you could come with me too? I just, well I could really use some Lyndi time today", admitted Holly.
Lyndi had been dreading parting from Holly today as well. She desperately needed to cling to some sense of familiarity. She smiled softly and nodded her head.
"I'd love to. Mikhail's just gone to wake SJ up so we'll ask him–"
"Aurelie! Aurelie!", called out Mikhail, as he ran through the camp.
The older man turned away from Giamora, his whole demeanour changing when a panicked Mikhail sprinted towards him. Mikhail leaned forward, placing his palms on his knees as he took some deep breaths. Shelley was by his side almost instantly, having only been in the tent next to where Aurelia was standing.
"Mikhail, what's wrong?", asked Shelley.
"It's SJ... she won't wake up!"
《 》
Luna was sat underneath the shade of one of the trees. Her hair was dishevelled from sleeping, so she wanted to be alone whilst she fixed it. She combed her hair back into a high ponytail, leaving no hair unbrushed. She got out her special clip. Her mind was too preoccupied with Naomi's death to even notice the miniscule device Echo had embedded into her clip before. She gently slid the clip through her hair, smiling softly when she heard and felt the SNAP of the clip as it closed.
Her mind suddenly went cloudy, and her vision blurred for a second. She furrowed her eyebrows, suddenly becoming confused as to why she had been so upset today. She chuckled to herself as she picked up her brush and stood up.
"Luna?", called out Audrey.
Luna gave Audrey a bright smile when the artist approached her, which took Audrey by surprise. She hadn't seen anyone smile today. Atleast, not properly.
"Audrey! Hey, girl", she beamed. "What are you doing by yourself? I thought you'd be with Holly or something."
"Oh, well, I just... we haven't really spoken much lately, so I wanted to check up on you. I'm uh... I'm really sorry about Rocco. I know you liked him."
Luna's bottom lip pushed out as she pouted. "I'm sorry, I don't get what you mean."
"Rocco. His group, they betrayed us, remember?"
"Oh! Right. Yeah, well I'm not upset about that."
"You're not?"
Luna shook her head. "These things happen."
Audrey would be lying if she said she didn't find Luna's behaviour odd, but she couldn't help but be pleased that she was taking it so well. Maybe that meant that her feelings for Rocco weren't that strong after all?
Before Audrey could open her mouth to speak, the sound of leaves crunching behind them caught their attention. Holly jogged towards the pair, her speed increasing by a lot when the pair turned to look at her.
"Guys, come quick! Something's up with SJ."
《 》
SJ's body was laid out on one of the beds, her sleeping bag hastily thrown to the ground. Mikhail and Shelley were stood at her feet, their hands clasped together as they watched Aurelie. The older man tilted SJ's chin up and moved his ear closer to her face. After a few seconds, he lifted his head up. He carefully took her hand in his, placing his index and middle finger against her wrist.
The others started filing in, anxiously waiting to hear what Aurelie had to say. Maaria's eyes were focused on SJ's face. She just kept staring as intensely as she could, hoping that SJ would somehow wake up if she continued doing that. The children were already starting to peek into the room, so Giamora and Drea guided them out.
Aurelie looked up at Mikhail and Shelley, frowning when he saw their hopeful expressions.
"What's the diagnosis?", asked Shelley.
"She's going to be ok, isn't she? Whatever it is, you can fix it, right?"
Aurelie exhaled softly, before shrugging. "Medically, she is well. There is absolutely nothing wrong with her."
Shelley furrowed her eyebrows in confusion. "Then why won't she wake up?"
"I'm not sure", admitted Aurelie. "She is quite literally just sleeping."
"So, like a coma?", asked Shelley.
"I suppose that could be one way to describe it, although there is no other evidence to support that."
"Wait, so what are we supposed to do? Nothing?", questioned Mikhail.
"For now, I think all we can do is monitor her. I know it's not the news you wanted to hear, but she isn't in a critical condition medically speaking, so hopefully that brings you some comfort", replied Aurelie.
"I'm sorry but how is that supposed to be comforting?", questioned Audrey.
"Um, I think I'll get started on SJ's chores for the day. When she wakes up, she'll hardly want to work, will she?", offered Holly.
Her eyes met with Mikhail, who gave her a grateful smile. She nodded her head, letting him know he had her support.
"I'll help too", said Lyndi. "We were going to help get the firewood, but Duke can go with you instead."
Duke wasn't particularly happy with being selected to do chores, but he wasn't going to refuse at a time like this. He made a point of not looking at Mikhail, but as he lifted his head up, Mikhail's eyes landed on his. The boy's usually calm demeanour was now riddled with worry and stress. Duke found himself giving Mikhail a reassuring smile, hoping that his pain would ease even just a little.
The group started to spill out of the room, leaving only Maaria and Gigi with Shelley and Mikhail. Gigi turned to leave, but stopped when she noticed that Maaria wasn't following her.
"Oh, it's ok, you don't have to stay", said Shelley. "Mikhail and I have got her."
"I uh, I know. It's just, um... she never left my side when I was poisoned. I don't want to leave her's now", said Maaria.
Gigi smiled softly. She reached out and placed a hand on Maaria's arm.
"I'll stay with you."
Maaria shook her head. "No, it's ok. They need all the help they can get out there, to help set up the new camp."
Gigi raised her eyebrows, a hesitant expression appearing on her face. Maaria gave her a knowing look, and although Gigi still hesitated, she exhaled sharply before nodding and leaving.
《 》
Drea watched as everyone walked around aimlessly. She couldn't quite believe what she was seeing.
"Hey! What's wrong with you lot?", asked Drea. "Stop moping around, feeling sorry for yourselves."
"Are you stupid or something?", questioned Duke. "Were you not in the medical hut with us?"
Drea rolled her eyes. "Look, I get it. Some really scary and sad things have happened, but you heard Aurelie. Nothing more can be done for SJ right now, so there's no point in wasting our time. We've got an essence to find."
"Wow. And people say I'm emotionally unavailable", said Audrey.
"Is there not a bridge you can crawl under or something?", questioned Duke.
Drea scoffed before turning to Noah. "You get what I mean, don't you?"
"Yeah", replied Noah. "But I think you're not being very considerate about how everyone's feeling."
Drea's eyes widened. "Not being considerate? No one is being more considerate than I am! I'm trying to get this mission back on track. We need to keep going before we lose anyone else."
"What, so we just never mourn for those we've lost?", asked Lyndi.
"We mourned for Grace", said Duke, regretting what he said when he saw the pained expression on Drea's face.
"You know what? Forget you lot", said Drea. "Just stay here and mope around like babies."
Drea stormed away. Noah started to follow after her, but stopped himself when he decided space was probably the best thing for her right now.
Mikhail stared down at the ground. He wanted to continue with the mission, he really did. But all he could think about was SJ. All he could see was her still body as he tried to wake her. All he could think about was how he might never see her again.
Duke walked over to Mikhail. He gently nudged him, a warm yet concerned expression on his face.
"Hey, ignore Grumpy Guts", said Duke. "It's ok to be sad, you know?"
"I don't want to be a burden though."
"You're not a burden for being upset", said Duke. "Come on, let's go get some more firewood."
Lyndi was surprised to be seeing a gentler side to Duke. He rarely showed it. She smiled to herself as she watched the two boys leave.
Their old campsite was still a mess. They tried their best to clear up the destruction caused by the fire, but it wasn't an easy feat. There was something too morbid about using the tree that kìlled Naomi for firewood, so they opted for the fallen Oak tree nearby.
Mikhail grimaced when he saw the tree that fell on Naomi. The wreckage surrounding it was too much for the group to look through before, but a charred hand stuck out from under it. Mikhail saw the white sheet that Aurelie had placed over it.
Every instinct Duke had was telling him not to look, but he couldn't bring himself to pull his eyes away.
"It's dead quiet here. Hard to believe how chaotic this place was only yesterday", said Duke.
"I know. It feels so surreal. I keep thinking I'm going to wake up and realise this was all a nightmare", said Mikhail.
"How much of it would you want to be a nightmare? Just yesterday, or joining the Opulants in general?", questioned Duke.
Those questions had never really plagued Mikhail's mind before, but upon reflection, he realised he had been thinking about home a lot.
Just the little things like thinking about the boardgames he, Shelley and SJ used to play together kept him sane throughout his days here.
"I don't really know", admitted Mikhail.
"Well I think this whole thing's a nightmare. We're chasing the history of a man that's clearly unhinged", said Duke.
"What's your reason for joining the Opulants then?", asked Mikhail.
For once, Duke didn't reply before thinking. He wasn't actually sure why he joined. It sure as hèll wasn't to try and do some good in the world.
"Can I guess?", asked Mikhail. "You can tell me if I'm right."
"Go ahead", he said, putting his hands in his pockets.
"To protect Lyndi and Holly."
Duke raised his eyebrows at Mikhail's assumption.
"Protect them? Trust me, Lyndi doesn't need protecting", said Duke.
"Uh... and Holly?"
"Oh! Right, yeah, Holly can definitely handle her own too", replied Duke, although he sounded a little unsure.
"You don't sound that confident."
Duke sighed. "Holly's just a very... positive person. She sees the good in everyone. I just don't think that's the best outlook to have, you know?"
"I would've disagreed with you, but recent events have proved your point, in a way", said Mikhail.
"I still can't believe Deidre's lot were lying to us", said Duke. "I thought Rocco was kinda cool."
"Me too", sais Mikhail. "Deidre seemed so sweet."
"Holly didn't say anything but I could tell she felt so betrayed by Deidre", said Duke.
"And now she's done something to SJ", said Mikhail.
"What, you think Deidre did this to SJ?"
"She must have! Look what she did to Maaria's dad", responded Mikhail. "She must have magic."
"Magic? I thought magic was a myth?"
"SJ's really into history, and she showed us this book her family used to have about the history of Coppersburg. The very first inhabitants of Coppersburg were magical beings. A great war happened and they were forced to flee. Not much else is known about them though."
"Wow. So maybe Deidre wants revenge on Coppersburg or something?", questioned Duke.
Mikhail shrugged. "I don't know. Maaria's dad was so close to telling us before Deidre intervened. But whatever it is, it just got personal."
Duke placed a hand on Mikhail's shoulder. "I don't know SJ that well, but she's really lucky to have a friend like you. I'm pretty sure she won't stop fighting whatever this thing is, just so she can make it back to you."
Mikhail smiled gratefully. "Thank you, Duke."
《 》
Drea wandered away from the new campsite. She didn't go too far, just enough so she couldn't hear the others. Everything looked the same as their old camp—trees, bushes, small rocks and pebbles everywhere. But it wasn't the same. It wasn't home.
"Drea?", called out Aurelie.
She wasn't sure if hearing Aurelie's voice was comforting right now, or if she just wanted him to go away.
"What are you doing here?", asked Drea.
"Noah told me what happened", replied Aurelie. "I just started walking, hoping I'd find you."
"I'm ok."
Aurelie raised an eyebrow. "I don't think you are, Drea."
Drea scowled, turning her body away from him so that her back was facing him.
Aurelie's face softened. "You know, when you first joined us, you went off by yourself a lot. I just chalked it up to you losing your sister, but... well, it's your way of coping, isn't it?"
Drea gently shook her head, memories of her big sister resurfacing in her head.
"You think you can handle it on your own. And Drea, you've done an incredible job, but even the most strong-minded people need to rely on others sometimes. And not everyone deals with loss the same way."
"I know."
Drea didn't look like she was entirely there. It was like her mind was somewhere else.
"Come on now, what's really going on in that head of yours?", questioned Aurelie.
Drea turned around, so that she was facing the new campsite.
"It's not home, is it?", she remarked.
Aurelie's face softened. He shook his head gently. "No."
Drea sighed, folding her arms close to her body.
"Neither was our other camp."
"What? How can you say that? Of course it was home!"
Aurelie shook his head. "Home isn't a place for us, Drea. It never has been. A home makes you feel protected and wanted and loved. Home is in the arms of our family, Drea. And right now... our companions have lost a part of their home."
"You're... you're not talking about the camp, are you?", questioned Drea.
Aurelie shook her head. "I think you know I'm not. We've lost people too, Drea. We should be opening our arms up, not shutting them out."
"You're right", said Drea.
"Well, perhaps in your case, opening your arms up wouldn't work. Maybe a jovial and light punch on the shoulder would suffice?", he teased, making Drea laugh.
"Thanks, Aurelie. And.. I'm sorry for letting you down."
Aurelie's smile fell, and his expression hardened into a much more serious one.
"Drea, you could never let me down. Not when you were a little girl we took in, and certainly not now. I am immensely proud of you. Of all of you. And I believe that you have the makings of a great leader, Drea."
Aurelie reached out and gently cupped Drea's face with his hands. He swiped his thumb under her left eye to catch a tear that had fallen from her eyes.
《 》
In the medical hut, Maaria was sat next to an essentially comatose SJ. Maaria shifted uncomfortably in her seat, unsure if she should try to hold her hand or talk to her.
Maaria hated silence. It left her alone with her thoughts. She acted like nothing fazed her, and for the most part, that was true. She cruised through life not really caring about things out of her control. But when her family, people she cared about were hurt, her emotions and thoughts went into overdrive.
She wasn't sure what she felt for SJ. She barely knew her, yet the times they did spend together involved emotional conversations. When SJ helped nurse Maaria back to health, and when Maaria saved SJ's life in Akermill Forest.
Something connected them. Something made her care for SJ. Whether the connection was rooted in friendship, or something more... Maaria didn't mind not knowing. She just knew she cared about SJ, and that was enough for her.
"I uh... I'm not really sure what to do. I don't even know if talking will help, but Aurelie said it might. He says, seeing as you're basically just asleep, you'll most likely be able to hear us. So, I want to say nice things. Things that will make you feel happy."
Maaria looked down at her hands, the thought of yesterday's tragedy chipping away at the smile she plastered on her face.
"I don't know if I can though. Everything with Naomi, the other group betraying us... it's all too much. A lot more than I can handle, anyway. But I need to be strong for Gigi. So, I can't talk to anyone else."
Maaria looked up, half-expecting SJ to wake up. When she didn't, she exhaled sharply, before looking down at her hands again.
"Naomi is, was... a pain in the butt", she said bluntly, a weird feeling bubbling inside of her when she referred to her friend in the past tense. "She used us, belittled us, basically treated us like her little servants. But, that's all she ever knew. Everything in life was handed to her. She didn't even try to hide that, and maybe... well, I guess that's one thing I liked about her. She knew she was privileged. She never tried to hide who she was."
Maaria paused, sitting with her thoughts for a brief moment. She thought back to every moment the trio had shared. Before the tapestry mission. It's weird how time seemed to have been split like that. They hadn't even been with the Opulants for long, but Maaria's brain already separated her memories from the time before joining the group, to now.
She wondered if her brain would separate yesterday and what was to come. The time when Naomi was alive, to the time after she died.
"I... I think I loved her. Gigi and I. I think we loved her. We never showed it, and she sure as heck didn't show it to us... but we did love her. And, maybe she loved us too. In her own way."
Maaria looked up once more, her eyes trailing along SJ's body, looking for any sign of movement. Finally, she looked at SJ's face. She looked so peaceful. Like nothing could hurt her. Part of Maaria was glad that SJ wasn't experiencing the pain that everyone else was right now.
Wisps of hair rested along SJ's temples, the ends slightly curly. Maaria lifted her hand up to SJ's forehead, hesitating for a moment as her hand hovered above it. Holding her breath in anticipation, Maaria gently brushed the strands of hair away from SJ's face, using her thumb to smoothen them.
"Sorry, my hands are cold", she apologised, a frown appearing on her face when SJ did not reply.
Meanwhile, near Gigi's tent, Shelley was making an inventory of all of the items the group were able to save from the wreckage. One of the Opulant members, who was only thirteen, held up a series of thin and thick wooden sticks that were tied together by blue thread.
"What's this doing here? It's just mess from a tree", questioned the girl.
Shelley's eyes widened when she saw it, a sharp pain piercing through her chest, followed by an aching pain. Her face softened when she looked at the girl's clueless face.
"That... is actually a very special item, Clarisse. When SJ, Mikhail and I first got grouped together, SJ came up with the idea to get twigs from our homes and tie them all together, so that we could have a piece of our home with us", explained Shelley.
"Oh. But why did it have to be twigs?"
"SJ said it was important that we still had some connection to the literal foundations our houses were built on. The garden she remembered playing in, the tree I remember sitting under when I was reading my books. The garden where Mikhail would play games he invented in his head. They might just seem like twigs, but to us, they were a reminder of the times we were truly happy as kids."
Clarisse smiled. "Aww, that sounds nice. It was good that SJ came up with that idea."
Shelley smiled softly. "That's our SJ."
Clarisse handed the twigs to Shelley, before rooting through more of the belongings. A hot pink designer bag was amongst them. The handle had completely come off, and the fire had burned a hole along the bottom of it, rendering it useless.
Shelley might not have known everyone properly, but there was no doubting whose bag that was. Clarisse held it up, recognising it too. The pair looked up at each other, the silence saying it all.
"So this is going...", started Clarisse, letting her words trail off.
"Give it to me. Maybe Audrey, Lyndi and Holly could mend it in some way", suggested Shelley. "It would be nice for Gigi and Maaria to have something to remember Naomi by."
Muffled whimpers, followed by sniffling could be heard from a nearby tent. Shelley looked at Clarisse, who just shrugged. After gesturing for Clarisse to take Naomi's bag to her tent, Shelley turned back to the tent.
Unsure of what the tent etiquette was regarding knocks, Shelley just raised her voice a little more, before saying 'knock' three times. When no one objected, Shelley entered the tent.
"Dude, what the hèll? I could've been doing something private in here", said Gigi.
"Sorry. It's not like the past couple of days hasn't been traumatising already though", she joked, her eyes widening when she saw Gigi just blankly staring at her. "I'm... I'm so sorry, that was really crass–"
"Nah, well you're not wrong, are you?", interjected Gigi.
Tears coated her eyelashes, bringing attention to her eyes as well, which were a little red. When she looked long enough, Shelley saw that tears had stained Gigi's face.
Shelley knelt down beside her. "Oh, are you ok? What a stupid question, of course you're not. But... is there anything I can do to help?"
Gigi shrugged, before letting her eyes meet Shelley's. She saw the way Shelley's eyes softened, a frown beginning to form.
"Don't... don't look at me like that."
"Sorry?"
"You're looking at me like I'm a puppy whose owner abandoned it or something", said Gigi. "Why should I sit here like I'm broken or something? Naomi was horrible to us."
"I know, but you're still allowed to be sad–"
"You know? You know? How would you know?"
"I–"
"You don't know sh*t, Shelley!"
《 》
The sun had turned in for the night, leaving the moon to watch over the group. Giamora was going to set up the campfire, but it didn't feel appropriate to light one so soon after yesterday. Aurelie had to force Mikhail and Shelley to join the others for a meal. The only thing that convinced them to go was Aurelie's promise that he would watch over SJ.
As the group sat around what would've been an open fire, the smell of chickpea curry wafted in the air. Giamora told Holly that it was Aurelie's signature dish, and although she wasn't sure about it at first, she actually really loved it when she first tried it. Although, Aurelie was supposedly looking after SJ, so no one knew who was making the curry now.
Drea emerged from the medical hut, a large black pot in her hands. The group hadn't found the time to set up a separate cooking area yet, and they were still making all the necessary arrangements to the medical hut so that it could actually fulfil its purpose, but a small section of the hut was used for cooking.
Noah and Holly made space for the pot. Drea placed it down, before turning to the group.
"I... I haven't been very compassionate. You went through a really devastating loss and, while I won't pretend to have been her biggest fan... Naomi didn't deserve to die. Especially not in the way she did. I'm sorry. I've uh, I've made some chickpea curry. It probably won't be as great as Aurelie's but...", apologised Drea, letting her words fizzle out.
"It smells amazing", said Holly.
Drea gave her a small smile. "Thanks. And um... whenever we lost someone in the past, Aurelie always said we should talk about them. The good things, the bad things... just, well we shouldn't hold back."
Drea walked away from the others, before turning back to face them. "I'm uh, I'm going to get the plates but... you guys should talk. If you want to."
Just as Drea was about to turn around and leave, Noah called out to her.
"Wait. I'll help with the plates", he said.
The others just sat there in silence, staring at the pot of chickpea curry.
"I... I'll be honest, guys", said Holly. "I barely spoke to Naomi but I'm still struggling to deal with what happened."
"I don't think you had to be best friends with her to feel sad about what happened, Holly", said Duke.
"Duke's right", said Lyndi. "I wish I could've done something to help."
"It all happened so fast", said Shelley. "I don't think there was really anything you, or any of us could've done to help."
"When she went on that journey to help Maaria, we spoke a bit on the walkie talkie", said Mikhail. "She was really scared. I couldn't help her then and I couldn't help her yesterday."
Mikhail sobbed, clasping a hand over his mouth to control himself. Shelley put an arm around him, gently resting her head against his shoulder.
"Oh get real guys!", snapped Gigi, standing up. "She was a vile person. She hated you all, don't act like she didn't."
"Gigi...", said Maaria.
"No, I'm sick of this", she said, looking at Maaria. "Everyone here saw her worst, but they're all acting like she was the best being to ever exist!"
Maaria stood up. "You're right. They did see her worst, but we didn't. We saw the times where she actually showed she cared for us. So why are you acting like she didn't?"
"When did she care about us, Maaria? Go on, tell me!"
Maaria fell silent.
"Exactly!"
"She... she beat up those guys from another group. The ones that tried to steal from us", said Maaria.
"Yeah, because they stole her favourite earrings!"
Maaria shook her head. "That's what she wanted you to believe. They started spouting cráp about it being weird that you liked girls as well, and they took the necklace your mother gave you."
Gigi furrowed her eyebrows, a look of disbelief and shock appearing on her face.
"No... no she told me she threw out my
necklace because she thought it was just old tat."
"She lied. She didn't want you to confront the boys and possibly get hurt."
Gigi shook her head, refusing to believe anything Maaria said.
"No, no... I-I don't believe you."
Maaria sighed. "It's the truth, Gigi."
"Well why didn't you tell me what Naomi really did?"
"She swore me to secrecy", said Maaria. "I mean, you know how pathetic she thought it was that we always looked out for each other and did nice things for each other. I guess she just didn't want to seem weak."
"W-Weak?"
Maaria shrugged. "You know how weird Naomi's brain is. Was. And it's not like she was nice all the time."
"But still... I always made her out to be a monster."
"So did I", said Maaria.
"And now she's gone."
Maaria frowned. "And now she's gone."
_____
Hi.
Ok so, first and foremost, I'd like to apologise. I read some of these chapters back and WOW—they're awful. You guys must be some of the sweetest people on this planet to find nice comments to write about those chapters. Even down to the humour. Don't get me wrong, 'weird' characters with whacky senses of humour aren't bad at all, it's just my writing of them that is. Even now I feel like my humour can be weird and cringy, especially when writing humour for books. I'd like to think that I've somewhat improved in my overall writing style since I wrote these chapters, so hopefully the reading experience will also improve for you this time around.
I've had to cut a few things out, so these next chapters might feel like you're reading an entirely different story. My goal is to finish this series, then go through and edit the whole book properly down the line. Editing it all properly right now would probably be the best thing to do, but my brain can't compute doing that until I've atleast written everything I had planned. That way, I can see what will make the most sense to change from the beginning.
If anything is confusing to you at all, be that a storyline or why a character is acting differently, do not hesitate to leave a comment or message me to ask why if you'd like.
I changed up a few things from the last update. I wasn't happy with the way I covered the aftermath of Naomi's death, so instead of rewriting it I wanted to a proper chapter dedicated to the aftermath, not just brief reactions to the initial death like I did in the last chapter.
I wanted to show some different grieving processes:
• Maaria thinks about everything that she should've said and done.
• Holly, Lyndi, Duke, Mikhail & Drea need to be actively doing something to take their minds off everything.
• Gigi holds on to all the negative memories, thinking that it will somehow help her grieve and 'get over' her loss. It's like she is tricking her brain into thinking she can't be sad at the death of someone who was so mean.
We didn't get to see enough of Naomi's kindness, which is one thing I wish I could've changed. But it's also a good mirroring of reality—you never know when it's your time to go.
I'm quite rusty with this story, so it might take me a minute to find the voices of these characters again, if that makes sense.
ADDED NOTE: At the time of writing this note, I have changed something. I was going to write all of book 1 and then publish it all, but I kind of really just want to publish this. I've already partially written the next chapter too, but the plan moving forward is to write it all and then publish it. So this might be the the only update for a while.
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