A sigh escaped my lips as I plopped down on one of the millions of cushions in Dragnasand Guild. My muscles ached and throbbed so much that I didn't even know which ones were hurting. Even my bones felt like they're going to shatter if someone just bumped into me. I groaned and rested my head against the cushion. My eyes closed as a drawn-out breath flitted off my nose. If I could just drift away for a moment...

"Since when are you back, Kora?" a voice made me open my eyes. My gaze landed on Ahrian and Mirani who were both looking at me like they've just seen a ghost.

I raised a hand to shoo them away but found no strength to. Damn. That teleportation spire wiped me out. I needed to remind myself to never use those again. "Just this afternoon," I drawled, my eyes closing once more. A boot nudged my shin, snapping me back. "Oh, hi. Didn't see you there," I waved at the two blurry blobs hovering over me.

"You need to take it easy," came Mirani's stern and distant voice. She might as well be talking from the bottom of a teapot. "When was the last time you slept?"

A strangled laugh ripped from my throat. "What is sleep?"

"I'm not joking, Kora."

Mirani's tone carried a hint of threat and annoyance. It was enough to throw me out of my stupor. I sat up and rubbed my eyes. The tension in my shoulders and neck made the whole movement look so stiff. "Look, it doesn't matter," I pushed my hair off my forehead and sighed when the strands plopped back down. "I need to go on these missions. Otherwise, I'll be a sitting duck here."

And it's true. After knowing how Cavya gave me a Grand Noble rank when Seline was still an Initiate, I needed to prove to everyone I have earned that on my own right and not just because I defeated Cavya in a half-thought match. The only way to do that was to take on as many missions requiring Dragnasand adventurers and even going on joint assignments with other parties on behalf of the other Knights.

It yielded something, I was sure of it. When I checked my attribute tiers earlier this week, I was leagues farther than the ones I started with. If I continued on this path for a little while, I would finally be worthy of a Grand Noble rank and maybe even more. Then, I'd finally be of help with Cavya and the others whenever we get bigger missions. They wouldn't ever need to worry about me and whether I would live or die, because by then, I would have been able to carry my own weight.

And if there was anything I hated more than anything, it's to be a burden to other people.

"Kid," Ahrian was the one who spoke after some time. Had Mirani given up. "I appreciate the sentiment and you taking the brunt of the work that would otherwise trouble Yaora or me, but make sure you have enough to bring with you to your next assignment."

I glanced at the falcon-headed langkoor. Now that I thought about it—maybe the reason why she was the Knights' aerial support and elite sniper was because of her falcon-like senses. She's a natural-born huntress, emphasis on the natural. It might not be nice to say (or even think, but look at where we were), so instead, I said, "I have my weapons and my skills. That counts for something, right?"

There weren't a lot of valdyrsi in Dragnasand with the only thing going around in the guild were rumors that our kind was too soft for the life of an adventurer. Some said we were cowards, always thinking of the quickest escape and were heavily-reliant on our magic. Tricksters, clowns, even cheaters—these words were the ones I hear being muttered under breaths whenever people saw us.

It shouldn't have hurt; I wasn't truly a valdyrsi, with it occupying the back of my brain and me still thinking of myself as human, but there were people who were born into that role and have been forced to endure those remarks and connotations all their lives. For them, and perhaps for me as well, in order to prove those voices and silence those whispers once and for all, I needed to do better.

I needed to be better. And I wouldn't reach the top if I didn't have the work and record to prove it. What's more, there was reportedly classified information about the guardian dragons and everything else in this world stored in the archives of Dragnasand. Sadly, the only ranks allowed inside were those of Veterans and Masters. If there was any chance of my finding a way out of this world and back to where I should be, that archive was my best bet.

Mirani and Valren could, no doubt, enter and I could ask them to look up information for me, but that would raise too many questions and give either of them a vague idea of what's wrong with me in the first place. If they knew there was another, bigger, and realer world and I came from there, would they drag me to Cavya and demand him to execute me for duping them all this time?

A shiver ran down my spine, shaking whatever exhaustion lining my limbs. I've rested enough. It's time to head to the meeting Cavya called for us. I'd hate to make the cat wait. That's the only reason I used the teleportation spire. After the meeting, I'd meet the Krestan Warriors for a briefing for our joint mission tomorrow.

"Kora?"

A finger snapped in front of my face, jarring my line of thought. My unfocused gaze dragged back to Mirani and Ahrian. The martial spiria was just withdrawing her hand and straightening up. "D-did you say something?" I said. "I spaced out. Sorry."

"Ahrian said that weapons and skills aren't enough and I agree," Mirani said. "You need to have your mind sharp and your body rested and primed. With the way you are, the only thing you'll be to other parties is dead weight."

I opened my mouth but closed it again. Whatever was coming out of my mouth would merely be a lame excuse to someone who has their demands mapped out.

"If you'll excuse us, Ahrian," Mirani said. "I need to talk to him about something else."

Ahrian shrugged and stalked off. "Take care of yourself, nestling," she said, throwing a casual wave over her shoulder. "Don't make me hunt you down."

I waited for any sliver of her purple suit and brown feathers to disappear behind a corner before turning to Mirani with an eyebrow arched. "What's up?" I said. "What did you want to talk to me about?"

Mirani frowned. "Don't play dumb with me, Kora," she said. "I know why you're doing this."

Did she really? I jerked my chin at her without another word. She strode towards the adjacent cushion to mine and plopped down. The soft beans inside crunched as they took in her weight. "You only ever did become like this when you met the Crimson initiate," she said. Since when had Mirani started referring to Seline through her rank? "What are you running from? She's not here, yet you couldn't stay put for longer than five seconds."

"Technically, I'll be staying here until the meeting Cavya called," I said. It didn't help.

Mirani blew an exasperated sigh, her nostrils flaring. "You know what I mean," she said, tilting her head to one side, like she couldn't quite understand something. "Are you always this...infuriating?"

I shrugged. Well, one person spent some time with me and decided I wasn't worth the shot. Maybe it's because of that. "I don't know," I said. "Depends on the person."

"It's definitely not sitting well with me," Mirani said. Her expression curled into a worried slate. I hated seeing it. So much. "Stop being stubborn and call off your missions for the next week. You need rest. To clear your head and to relax. Just please, for the Divine's sake, don't throw away the only life you have."

I wasn't. It was through these excursions that I was able to live it. Because if I stopped, if I let my mind run out of immediate things to think about, then I would remind myself of that. Of all the pains, the regrets, and the suffering I've survived. I'd dream of it every night, only to be forced to wake up into a reality where it all happened. I would have to do it all over again, every day, every hour, for as long as I wasn't running from something else.

This was the only way I could survive, the only path I knew how to take without feeling like I'd be crushed underneath the weight of my memories. Because what's between me and Hye-jin, what we built and what we let crumble—it's only a thing of the past, one which I couldn't seem to forget.

That's all I wanted to do.

I wanted to forget.

But it's not like the universe would ever let me. Now that I knew Hye-jin and I were in this world, our paths would always cross. One way or another. And when that happens, I couldn't be the one who was always caught up in what was more than what's ahead. I needed to gain as much distance as I could before she and whatever pieces of her she left in me overtake me.

Mirani could accuse me all she wanted about throwing my life away, because she didn't know this wasn't really my life. I got a second chance in a way I didn't want, so what was I supposed to do except see it through in the best way I could?

There were lines we shouldn't cross, and telling people how to live their lives was one of them. I wasn't angry at Mirani though. Perhaps she really did mean well. Just that I couldn't stand being told the same thing over and over. Until I knew a better way to live, I'd stick to my old guns.

"I'm fine, Mirani," I threw my hands up in surrender. "I promise."

Probably one of those I'd eventually break. Hye-jin said it was my specialty.

Mirani knitted her eyebrows in protest, but before she could speak, I shot up. My world swirled for a moment but I righted myself in time before she could attempt to steady me. "Come on. Cavya's waiting," I said.

Without waiting for her, I lurched forward. Even if my legs felt like they're turning to butter and my head starting to pound like heavy gongs between my ears. My throbbing feet took me to the familiar meeting room just a few paces from the corridor leading down to my room. I pushed the door open, frowning when it didn't budge. I tried again but nothing happened.

A hand shot out from my periphery and pressed against it. The door swung inward with ease. Mirani passed by me on her way inside. "You can't even push the damned door. How are you able to defeat a netherbeast?" she said. She didn't need to add of the lowest rank but I got that from her tone anyway. "This is the last time I'll say this, Kora. I'm not asking you to stop adventuring entirely. I'm only saying you need to take care of yourself too, and this isn't the way to do it. Just trust me on that."

Doing the same thing I had been doing to her out of habit, she strode off without waiting for my answer. I closed my eyes and pinched the bridge of my nose. Whatever. It's fine. I was fine.

I took my seat, coming between Yaora and Nazran once again. At least these two didn't really care if I lived or died. Sometimes, I feel it's better that way.

The door opened once again and spat Cavya along with the rumble of cart wheels. I looked back to see the cat-headed langkoor pushing a food cart bearing a few golden goblets and...a tinted green bottle of something that could only be wine.

Cavya halted the cart by his seat and faced us. "Why are you looking at me like that?" he said, raising a bushy eyebrow. His whiskers twitched in amusement. "In Mirani's words: we just finished a divines-damned mission so we should drink to it."

Mirani squinted. "When did I say that?"

As an answer, Cavya wrapped a gloved hand around the wine bottle, bit the tip of his other glove, and slid his hand free. Then, with a hooked claw, he popped the cork open. Within a few seconds, all of us have a golden goblet filled halfway with sparkling crimson liquid and the pungent smell of fermented fruit wafting in the air. Someone's going to get jealous when we leave this room.

Cavya pinched the stem of his goblet and raised it in the air. Across me, Mirani's face fell when she realized her error. I didn't need to be a genius to guess she must have drank her whole share the moment the goblet slid towards her. "To Dragnasand's glory, for all time," Cavya said. "To the Knights of the Central Empire, cheers to another mission done well! To friends and family, congratulations on surviving another endeavor."

"Long live the Dragnasand Knights," Cavya raised his goblet higher. "Here's to more successful missions!"

"Long live!" We answered, following our leader's example with the drink.

Cavya lowered his hand. "Let's do our best and be the best, not just out of the Central Empire, but on the entire face of Solarlume," he said. "What do you say? Shall we give those Northern and Eastern territories a run for their money?"

A resounding YES erupted inside the room. Cavya's raised his eyebrows and narrowed his eyes. A pleased expression relaxed his features. "Now that we got that out of the way, let's move to the next topic at hand," he said. In a corporate sense, this was the point where there would be a collective groan nobody wanted to let out but was still audible enough from the people's faces anyway. Cavya didn't appear to notice. He plowed on, taking a sip from his cup.

"We have been presented with a unique opportunity," he said. "The guild masters have given us a choice—I know, whoo—on what to do for our next full-team mission. They asked me to present them to you and ask for your opinion about which one to pick."

Before anyone could process what was being said, Cavya slid two bronze plaques into the middle of the table. With a snap, both shone and sprouted magigraphs, detailing the extent of each mission. Over the months of spending enough time around them for all the planning I did, I learned how to read them even without the help of the Speech Transfer spell.

The first one looked like a scatter-pinch approach on a small gathering of danburki nests while the other was an extermination of the jjangkai's close relatives, the gegehema. With the danburki, it'd be fairly easy, since the reported numbers were fewer than those of the gegehema colony.

Of course, the choice was obvious.

"Danburki," I said at the same time everyone said, "Gegehema."

I whirled to my teammates to find them avoiding my eyes. "Why do you think the gegehema one was easy?" I asked.

"Because they're in a lower class than the danburki," Ahrian planted a hand on the table, cementing her stance. "I've fought one and it almost took all of my magic reserves. If not for my enhanced senses, I wouldn't have survived."

"At least with gegehema, it'd just be an reiteration of the jjangkai mission," Nazran said, tapping his chin. His pink ponytail bobbed with his head. "What do you think, Yaora?"

The green-scaled dragonkin waved his hand in the air. "I don't really care, but if it's to spite Kora, I'll vote gegehema," he said.

What in the world—what did Yaora have against me? Was someone who hated you for no reason a common fixture in any workplace? "What happened to rising to the top of the ranks over Solarlume?" I turned to Cavya and waved a hand towards the magigraphs. "This is a test from the guild masters. If we take the easy way out, we would be saying to them that we're content with our place and our status quo."

I glanced at Valren and Nazran who were both on the promotion roster to a rank higher with the promotion still not happening anytime soon. "Think about it," I said. "We could have earned higher points and ethrans from the jjangkai mission along with our spoils, but we didn't. Then, comes this forced choice."

"It's obvious," I continued when no one voiced their opposition. "They know we'd be choosing the gegehema since it's relatively easier and of the same nature as our last excursion. If we prove them right, then we will be cementing whatever notion they have of us. And that could hurt our party more than we realize."

As someone who has been at the burnt end of the stick, I knew how the people at the top thought, how they acted, and how they formulated their moves to mess with their subordinates. I could be wildly wrong, but taking a harder mission and completing it with no problem would amaze any kind of boss.

"Besides, if we're going with the danburki," I said, as my last card to play. "We'll be getting a haul from it. We might be able to upgrade our gear and our attributes and fix the holes blowing through Ahrian's shutters."

A collective, sharp intake of breath. I have them. They're thinking.

"I hate how this kid makes all the valid points, but if that means I can finally reach past the next tier in my smith attribute, I'll go with him," Yaora grouched.

Nazran didn't appear to be convinced but leaned back against his seat with his arms crossed and a resigned sigh. "I vote for the danburki too."

Next, Ahrian—the person I knew would resist this decision no matter what because of a personal experience—clicked her beak and turned her head to one side to glare at the magigraphs with her eye. That's why I threw in that shutters issue—to get her thinking and hesitating. "If it means having a few extra ethrans, I'm in," she said. "I'll try to provide complete background details on them after this meeting."

Then, Valren followed. I turned to Mirani to find her shooting pointed glares at me. Right. According to her, I should be resting and not shoving myself—and them, coincidentally—on another difficult mission. "When are we leaving for this?" she asked. No doubt to force me into taking a break until that time. "I have some...things to handle beforehand."

Cavya peered at the magigraphs. "Could be anywhere between the last week of the month to the first week of the next."

She bobbed her head, making her fringe bounce against her forehead. "Fine by me," she said. "Count me in.

The cat-headed langkoor hummed. "It seems like we have reached a consensus," he said. "Kora was right with regards to the guild masters' motives in making us choose. It's what I think as well. For now, we would humor them and take the danburki. Once we have proven our might, that's when we start to get back at them for even trying this hand on us. Deal?"

I nodded just as everyone said, "Deal."

Cavya drained his drink, reminding me how I haven't even touched mine. "Well, I'll leave you to your own shenanigans," he said. "I want you all to be ready as soon as I call you for this mission. Attend to your schedules and avoid picking any missions by the third week. Got it?"

Ah, so that's what Mirani was aiming for. A forced sick leave. Still, if it was for the sake of this bigger mission, I would do it. I could handle a few days of laying low. I would probably just spend them hammering a dummy in training sessions. Resting, but not really.

Ha. If this job wouldn't kill me for some time, then, from the knowing look Mirani was throwing in my direction, she would.