Preeta checked in the hotel and sat on her bed silent. Sometimes you realise that it's fine that you are broken but what's not fine is not knowing what you are feeling. She loved him, she still does but did she want him back? She didn't know. Was she right? Was he right? Will it ever be right?

Karan kept his bag and looked at his team members. They were all so excited to play in coming days while he just opened his phone and looked at her picture. He got to see her, it was enough for him to be sane for a long time. Just a glance of her and he was at peace.

Preeta turned the knob of shower and closed her eyes as the cold water sent shivers down her spine.

Hairan hai hum..
Hue kyu tum..Gairon se..

Karan wiped the tear that escaped the corner of his eye. Preeta looked at herself in mirror.

Flashback

Preeta looked at Karan. He didn't look up. She was leaving.

Preeta(stern):Good bye Karan..

Karan was trying to say something but as if words wouldn't come out. She turned and started leaving. They gave up on each other, after months of being together, after months of trying hard to make it work, this seemed the end. She started leaving.

Karan: Babydoll..

Preeta stopped at her place. Did he just stop her? Was there still any hope? She turned and looked at him.

Karan(pointing at table): Divorce papers..Maine sign krdiye hai..

Preeta looked at him in pain. This was getting worse. She picked up the papers. Karan went inside his room.

Preeta(in tears): Good bye Mrs. Preeta Karan Luthra..

She held the papers to her heart sinking in pain and left her home, their home.

Flashback ends..

Preeta opened her suitcase and took out a small bag which had their engagement ring. She smiled looking at it. She still wish they tried more to make their marriage work, she loved him and love hears no reasons.

Kaisa hai gam..
Bolo na tum hoonton se..

She looked at the diary he gave her. Karan was sitting by the window writing something on paper.

Flashback

Preeta was cleaning their room when the diary fell from shelf.

Preeta(confused): Yeh..

Karan: Meri hai..

Preeta: Pata hai mujhe..Jagah pr toh rkha karo..

Karan snatched the diary from her hands. Preeta looked at him.

Karan(stern): Meri cheejon ko haath mt lagaya karo..

Preeta: Maine apni marzi se nhi lagaya tha..Tum ne galat jagah rkhi thi..Agar itna hi hai..Toh sahi se rkhte..

Karan: Toh isme bhi meri galti..

Preeta: Meri galti hai..Mujhe nhi uthani chahiye thi..Bhale hi main tumhari biwi hu..Mera koi haq kaha hai tumhari cheejon pr..Ya tum pr..

Karan: Tum kaha ki baat kaha lekar jaa rhi ho..Stop it..I don't want to fight..

Preeta: Fine..Vaise bhi ab toh aadat hai mujhe..Not a big deal..

Preeta left the room. Karan looked at her concerned. He didn't want to but again he ended up hurting her. It was all turning worse.

Flashback ends..

Preeta smiled seeing the diary. He didn't even let her touch it and now he gave this to her.

Karan: Tumhari zindagi ka ek hissa mere paas rh gaya tha..Lauta dia..

Preeta: Meri toh zindagi hi tumhare paas rh gayi hai..Kyu Karan..Kyu mujhe tumse pyaar hua..

Na tum ho bewafa..
Na main bhi hoon..

Karan(smiling in tears): Thank You babydoll for loving me..

Na jaane waqt ki marzi hai kya..
Kyun mili hai yeh dooriyan..

Karan kept the paper aside. Preeta opened the diary and started reading.

Karan's POV

I wish I could tell her all this but I guess, I will never have that courage to break her heart looking straight into her eyes. I wish it never started, but it did. I still remember the first time I saw her, the beginning of everything.

Preeta and I were sitting in front of each other. Our parents were talking about our alliance outside while I was trying to figure out how to refuse, I didn't want to get married then. She was looking at me. There was no reason for me to say no to her, but I wasn't ready.

Preeta: Karan..Tum iss rishte ke liye mana krdo..

I looked at her confused. What did she just say? She gave me a solution to my problem without actually knowing it but the moment, I wanted to know why.

Karan(confused): Kyu..

Preeta: Jaise kii uncle aunty bahar keh rhe hai..I am perfect for you..Well, I am not..Main bahut gussail, jhalli aur clumpsy hu..Main khud ko tak nhi smbhal paati hu..Iss rishte ko..Pata nhi..I feel I am not ready for this..

I tried hard not to but I ended up smiling. What was that? She was so innocent, so honest and adorable. How come I never met these kinda girls?

Karan: I actually feel the same...

I saw her eyes widen in shock. She smiled and looked at me. I smiled back.

Preeta: Tum bhi meri tarah hi ho..

Karan: Nhi..Pata nhi..Hum ek dusre ko jaante nhi hai..Puri life saath mein..seems impossible..

Preeta: Aisa toh nhi hai..You know what..I feel like life is choices..Agar hum ek dusre ke saath zindagi bitane ka faisla le toh sab possible hai..

Karan: Aur agar kabhi hume laga kii yeh faisla galat tha toh..

Preeta: Woh toh depend krta hai..Agar hum rishta tutne nhi dege..Toh problems toh har jagah hai..

Karan: So, kya faisla hai..

Preeta: Tum batao..Honestly, mere paas koi reason nhi hai mana krne ke liye..Par..Kya tum..Mujh par kabhi give up na krne ka waada kr skte ho..

Karan: Tum mujh par kabhi give up na krne ka waada kr skti ho?

Preeta: Koshish kr skti hu..

Karan: Main bhi..

She smiled. We both said yes to each other with a promise of not giving up on each other and this marriage.

We got married, destination wedding. Our families were happy, she was happy, I was happy? I didn't know. I had my doubts. Her smile gave me happiness but this wasn't love. I didn't love her and moreover, I didn't know if I could ever fall in love.

I had a girlfriend who cheated on me for no valid reason and plus, I wouldn't have taken any reasons, cheating is a choice but when she did, I left her but she left me with a feeling that nobody will ever try for me all her life, that maybe I am not enough for anyone, that maybe, I wouldn't be able to keep my would be wife happy.

I was going to tell Preeta everything about my past, my insecurities, the night before our marriage but as I entered in the room. She smiled.

Preeta(excited): See kitna dark colour aaya hai..

Karan: Preeta..Woh mujhe kuch..

Preeta: Bolo..

Karan saw her smiling seeing his name on her hand.

Karan(smiling): Bahut khush ho tum..

Preeta: Ha..Tum kuch kehne wale the bolo..

Karan: Kuch nhi..Tum khush ho na iss shaadi se?

Preeta: ha..

Karan: Bas..Yahi jaan na tha..

I was about to leave when she held my hand and asked with a smile on her face.

Preeta: We want to make it work..Right?

I nodded but I wasn't sure. Yes, I wanted to marry her, because she was the only girl who was able to make me smile, make me happy but I wasn't sure if I would be able to make her smile and I guess this was the problem, this doubt, this regret of not telling her about my insecurities, my past.

She stepped into my house as my wife. I can't explain the feeling. I just had an apartment before her, she made it home, she gave me reasons to come back home everyday, she gave me reasons to smile and I have lost her.

She just signed the divorce papers and left. I wanted to stop her, I wanted to hold her hand and tell her that please don't go, I'll be all alone without you but I was never brave enough. This marriage was breaking because of me, because I wanted it to end, I wasn't right for her.

Preeta: Karan...Problem kya hai...Why are we fighting always..

Karan: I don't know..Let's not talk about this..

She held my hand and made me face her. I could see her breaking.

Preeta: We need to talk..Kyu Karan..Humne waada kiya tha na that we will never give up..Kya hogya hai..Har choti choti baat pr hum ek dusre se ladte hai..It hurts Karan..I am your wife..Tum..tumhe koi aur pasand hai kya?

Karan: Are you mad? You are my wife..Aur hum ladte hai..Kyunki tum smjhna hi nhi chahti..

Preeta: Kya nhi smjhna chahti main..

I had no answers. The problem was me not her. When I realised how important she was to me, my regrets started hitting me more. Everytime I used to look at her, I was reminded of the fact that she always gave me everything and I lied. I lied that I was ready, I lied that I would never give up. I was a liar.

And that anger, would come out on her and we would fight. Everyday, every moment, we were getting distanced because I was never a brave man to look into her eyes and ask, "Will you really choose me your entire life?"

And one day, I decided to end this, to give up because seeing her going through all of this everyday, seeing her crying, arguing and fighting for me, for our marriage while I was just in my shell wasn't right.

She was crying sitting on bed. I looked at her and my heart broke knowing the reason was me.

Karan(stern): Rou mt..

Preeta(in tears):Main nhi ro rhi..

Karan: Babydoll..chod kyu nhi deti mujhe..

She looked at me shocked in tears. I knew she would be angry, hurt but seeing her cry one day is better than seeing her cry everyday. I wanted to end this, for her. She didn't deserve this.

Preeta(angry in tears):Kya kaha tumne..

Karan:Aise har baat pr ladne se..Rone se..Acha chod do mujhe..

Preeta(in tears): Kitna asaan hai na kehna..chod do..biwi hu main tumhari..Kya tum sun bhi paa rhe ho kya bole jaa rhe ho..We promised right..hum give up nhi karege..Aur ladaiyoon ki wajah se..Seriously Karan...

Karan: Bhul jaana..Kya farq pdta hai..

I felt a burning sensation on my cheek and I knew, it was over. She looked at me with anger and pain in her eyes.

Preeta(angry in tears): Thank You..Mujhe yeh realise krane ke liye kii tumse shaadi krna sach mein meri zindagi ka sabse galat faisla tha..

And she cried, she broke down. I left, I cried. Why? Why can't I be selfish for once and make her stay?

All our pillow fights, all my sunday cooking classes by her, all those cuddles and her warmth, her smile was taken away by me from me. And you know why? Because of me.

Galat insan ko chahne se badi galti duniya mein koi nhi..Kyunki woh insan toh chla jaata hai..par rh jaata hai darr..shak..ek toota hua dil jiske tukdo pr bhi aap ka haq nhi..Main bahut pyaar krta hu uss se..Aaj bhi..Kal bhi..Hmesha..Because I know she is the right person..She is my right person..meri babydoll..but I am not right for her..I know I am not..But babydoll..agar kabhi bhi mujhme himmat aayi toh main tumse sirf yahi kehna chahta hu..

I love you..I loved you..I will love you..and I didn't want to give up..sorry maine tumhara waada toda..sorry kii maine tumse kabhi sach nhi kaha..sorry kii main..main tumhe kabhi ek perfect zindagi nhi de paaya..sorry for everything..

POV ends..

Preeta was in shock as the diary slipped from her hands. He held so much inside him, not even telling, at least she could cry, she could argue but he couldn't. Because he was too broken to even realize that he was worth everything. He was too broken to believe that he can love her, that if he speaks the truth, she won't leave him.

Tujhe dil se tha chaha..
Tu hi toh na mil paaya..

Preeta laid down on bed hugging her pillow closing her eyes in tears.

Preeta's POV

I wanted to slap him, to shout out loud and let him know how much his lies had hurt me. It was his mistake. He lied. I hated him.

But at the end, I want to run into his arms, hug him tightly and tell him that I love you..I love you..I don't know why but I do and I will fix you, I can fix you..That yes I will choose you for lifetime..That don't give up on me..

That night, I realized that life isn't always about choices. Sometimes you aren't sane enough to make the right choices for yourself, that loving someone can leave you with a pain that can break you inside out. Karan was at fault, but he deserved another chance. Because it wasn't his mistake that he loved the wrong person, it wasn't his own choice to have a broken heart that believed that he wasn't enough for anyone, it wasn't his mistake that he was too scared to say everything because he had no one to express his fears to. The only mistake he made was hiding truth and leaving the right person, me because I want to tell him that he will be my right person forever.

Precap

Stars Aligned

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