CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

Beginning of the End

#

AUGUST 2015

My fingers dug into the soft sheets as I woke up, a stream of light spilling in from the window beside me. I shifted position, rubbing my bare legs against the smooth fabric when I was hit with a realization.

I shot up in a panic, looking around. The sweet scent of women's perfume instantly filled my nose.

What the hell happened?

I soaked in my surroundings, realizing I wasn't in my apartment. The bedsheets strewn across my naked body were white with floral prints, the pillows a matching set. Beside me was a dark brown, wooden dresser, and atop sat a large mirror decorated with pictures and stickers of my college's name.

I plopped my head back down onto the pillow; it was pounding like it had been hit by a damn train. Closing my eyes, I groaned quietly and accosted myself for getting shitfaced. My memories were foggy, only bits and pieces coming in from the night before.

I replayed my conversations with Malik, the booze he fed me, the joy I felt as we partied. I recalled the way Kyle treated Lydia, like she was his to control. My head pounded as I gripped my temples. I couldn't simmer the anger building inside of me. 

He put his hands on her, forcing her to do his bidding, and I couldn't erase the image of her pained expression. How could her friends just sit there? How did I care more than they did? Now I knew for certain, my fears confirmed–he was an abuser. Of alcohol. Of people. I ran my hand down my face, sighing with frustration.

The night wasn't a total disaster, but for most of it, my mind kept circling back to what happened to Lydia. By the time she finally returned, I was completely wasted. I remembered Lydia had her arm around my waist at one point, walking me away from the beach and towards the parking lot. I recalled getting into a car. Whose car was that?

I gave myself a few minutes to fully wake up before I decided I needed to get out of bed and figure out where the hell I was. Sitting up with a huff, I kicked my feet over the edge of the mattress. I sat there for a moment, breathing heavily when I noticed a bucket beside my feet. It was empty save for a plastic bag. Probably for when I needed to throw up.

The door, just a couple feet away, was cracked slightly, the faint sound of voices drifting in. I tried to listen but couldn't make out what they were saying. Whoever they were.

As soon as I came to my feet, the door swung open and Lydia rushed in, shutting it behind her. She rested her back against it, looking up to see me standing there, almost completely naked. She gasped, taken by surprise, her face turning red.

"Good morning!" she chirped, quickly turning away. She lowered her voice, humor on her tongue. "Well, afternoon. It's like two..."

I groaned, rubbing my hands down my face. I was very aware of the fact that I was naked, in front of Lydia, in what I assumed was her bed. The air conditioning blew strong in this room, biting my skin. My cheeks slowly started to burn as I folded my arms across my chest.

"Er, sorry..." I cleared my throat and looked away, "What, uh, what happened?"

Lydia lit up with a hearty laugh, a huge smile playing at her lips. "My God, you don't remember?"

I shook my head.

"Man, you were so drunk. The guys said you got naked and went swimming. They also told me you were the 'champion' wrestler or something."

I shut my eyes, feeling embarrassed, though a chuckle still escaped me. "Only by a razor. Malik is stronger than he looks."

"It sounds like you had fun," she said, sighing with relief.

I felt the urge to tell her that it would've been a lot more fun if she stayed, but I bit my tongue.

"Yeah," I said, still awkwardly holding myself.

"Oh, right. When I got back, you kinda threw up on my shoes..."

"Christ." I pressed my fingers against my temple, refusing to meet her gaze, to save myself from further embarrassment. It didn't work.

"I practically dragged you to your car and threw you in. Your stuff is on the chair there, by the way," she mentioned, pointing to a desk chair where my belongings were placed neatly on top of it.

"Then, you stumbled into the house and kind of just plopped onto the bed without a word..." Lydia laced her fingers together in front of her as she watched my expression change.

The air was tense with an awkward silence as I shifted uncomfortably. I chuckled.

"I am really sorry," I said, shaking my head. She huffed and pulled her fingers apart, placing her hands on her hips.

"Don't be. This is just me... paying you back. For what you did for me, you know?"

It made sense. I helped her, so she helped me.

I couldn't shake that undesirable feeling of embarrassment gnawing at me, the kind that sat heavy in my chest. What made it worse was how I'd let myself get so vulnerable, so lost in the moment, that I didn't even know what was happening. I gritted my teeth before sighing, relaxing my shoulders.

I let a small half-smile slip and nodded my thanks to her.

"Is this your place?" I yawned.

Lydia waved her hands in front of her face, exclaiming, "No way! This is Claire's room at the sorority house. She was one of the girls at the party last night. She was nice enough to let you crash here."

"Oh..." Heart suddenly racing, I snuck a glance back at the bed, praying that I didn't just sleep with some random girl. I scratched my brow. "Uh, where did she sleep?"

Blush crawled across Lydia's cheeks but she kept a straight face. She knew what I was thinking.

"She slept downstairs in the living room," she said.

After that moment of panic, I huffed, "Well, I guess I owe her one. I owe you one, too."

Lydia rested her back against the bedroom door, picking at the wood behind her while she held eye contact with me.

"You don't owe me anything, Markus," she murmured.

I scoffed, rolling my eyes dramatically before breaking into a smile. She brightened up, her grin contagious as our eyes met for a few lingering moments. I took in the small details–those creases at the corners of her eyes when she smiled, the icy blue irises that could look right through you. Her hair cascaded naturally in soft, messy waves like the ocean.

My smile faded. Stop that. I cleared my throat, turning away before my thoughts drifted further.

She straightened herself out, fixing the tank top she was wearing. "I'll be out in the living room if you need me. Try not to scare the other girls... there are, uh, rules about having guys overnight."

I grinned. "I see you like breaking the rules, Jarvis."

"Just this one!" She winked at me before slipping out of the room and closing the door behind her.

A sigh rested on my lips as I fell back onto the bed, too comfortable to move. I rested my head to the side and threw my hands above me. I bit the inside of my cheek to keep from smiling.

Would Lydia object to spending the day with me?

Though I did drag my camera along with me last night, it wasn't exactly the best time to use it–nor was I in the right headspace. But today, despite the raging hangover, I couldn't shake the urge to ask her to take pictures with me. The thought persisted, and I found myself wondering what her answer would be. Would she agree, or would it be too awkward after everything?

I inhaled deeply, pushing myself up, my legs shaky as I stood. I walked over to my clothes, coated in a fine layer of dust and sand, the salty scent of the ocean still clinging to the fabric. It brought me back to yesterday's strange events. One image in particular was stuck in my mind: Kyle's smug face. The urge to break that grin flickered within me again.

Shaking off the dark thoughts, I got dressed quickly and grabbed my phone, plucking a pack of cigarettes from my pocket. I sent a text to Lydia, unsure if I should've left the room. As I made my way to the door, camera bag slung over my shoulder, the door flew open and smacked me directly in the face.

"Agh, fuck." I grabbed my mouth, my eyes watering in pain. Lydia yelped, quickly pressing the door shut behind her. She gently grasped my wrist, trying to tug my hand away from my lips.

"Oh my God, Markus, I am sorry!" she cried, inspecting my lip closely, her eyes wide with fear.

Our faces were inches apart, her grip on my wrist tightening. I stared at her, catching a glimpse of the faint freckles scattered across her nose and cheeks. Freckles? I never noticed them before. They were so easy to miss, I would've never spotted them if I wasn't so close to her. For a brief moment, I caught a hint of jasmine from her perfume. The way her breath hitched didn't go unnoticed, either. Her thick, brown lashes fluttered over her eyes, and Lydia blushed hard when our gazes met. As quickly as she leaned in, she pulled herself away.

"Sorry about that," she said, clearing her throat. She lowered her eyes, avoiding me. I pursed my lips and tilted my head to the side.

"No, it's okay," I reassured. Trying to change the subject, I asked, "By the way, are you busy today?"

She looked up at me, raising her eyebrows curiously, before huffing. "I, uh... Well, I think Kyle and I are–"

"Say no more." I stepped around her, disappointment sitting heavy in my chest. Even the sound of his name made me want to vomit again. I realized I'd never be okay with Lydia, or anyone, dating that guy.

Fucking monster.

"Markus," Lydia said as I pulled open the door, "I'm really sorry about what happened with him."

"Stop that," I muttered, not bothering to turn around. "Don't apologize."

Against my will, I looked back at her. "Don't ever apologize for something that isn't your fault."

She kept her mouth shut, shifting uncomfortably on her feet.

"Listen. We don't know each other too well, yet, Lydia. But I want you to know one thing: I'm terrible at hiding my emotions. I'm too easy to anger and your boyfriend knows it," I grumbled, leaning my shoulder against the door frame. "He clearly knows what to say to push my buttons. Don't for a second believe that I won't stand up for myself against him."

"He's not that bad, Markus. You have to get to know him–"

"How can you even expect that?" I narrowed my eyes at her, growing unreasonably upset. "Do you truly believe that, Lyd? After last night I..." I trailed off, looking away. I huffed before continuing.

"He's had it out for me before we even met. Does he know I am here, Lydia?"

She swallowed hard. "No."

"Of course not. Because you can't tell him. Because he'd fucking—" I bit my lip, cutting off the words I might regret. Lydia's eyes became glassy, but she took what I said in stride, holding her head high.

We fell into silence. Behind me, the steady ticking of a clock filled the room. It'd been there the entire time, but I'd only just now noticed it.

"Listen," I huffed, rubbing the back of my stiff neck, trying to shift the conversation once more, "There are these mountains about forty minutes from here. If you have time, I'd like to take your pictures there."

Lydia nodded slowly, arms crossed over her chest and her brows furrowing. I sighed, the silence waning on. Her expression was that of worry, the same one she'd get whenever she saw Kyle's name pop up on her phone. With a sigh, I turned and quickly left the room.

Her smaller footsteps followed behind me as Lydia guided me out of the sorority house without running into anybody or causing any trouble. We descended a set of stairs together, ending up in a living room adorned with pale pink and gold-trimmed antique furniture. The white walls were decorated with plants and modern paintings, and the room smelled clean, like fresh linen and lavender. I envied the pristine organization and cleanliness of the house.

Lydia opened the door for me, allowing me to pass before she cleared her throat.

"You're right, you know," she said shakily, forcing me to turn around and look down at her. I tilted my head, waiting.

"We don't know each other very well. We should change that."

I stood there at her front door in the warm August breeze, the California sun beating down on my neck, and stared at her. Slowly, I nodded. "Yeah. We should," I said, firm in my decision.

I wanted to. Despite knowing deep down it probably wasn't a good idea. I wanted it. I felt a strong desire for connection and here she was, offering the very thing that I needed—a friend. I wasn't going to just turn it down. Even if that meant I'd have to deal with Kyle. I'd make it work. If we had to "sneak around", I'd do it.

She bit back a smile. "Goodbye, Markus."

I placed my hand gently onto her arm, giving it a light squeeze before letting go.

"See you later."

I smiled, backed away, and spun on my heels, heading towards my car parked by the curb.

My phone buzzed in my pocket, and I pulled it out as I walked. The glare from the sun made it hard to read the screen. I shielded it with my other hand, squinting at the display. My heart skipped a beat when I saw the caller ID.

Mia?