Chapter Forty-Eight

Cat

Travis lived in the new build part of town; the kind that looked like the white beach houses, but without the beach. It had huge pillars at the front of the house supporting the balcony above the front door and was upside down, the bedrooms being on the ground floor and a wide open-spaced lounge and kitchen across the first floor, with a balcony mirrored on either side of the house. The balcony at the front of the house was where Travis's mum grew herbs in lots of porcelain pots, but the one that sat over the garden had huge sofas and armchairs.

Travis left the front door unlocked for me and called me in when I rang the doorbell. I found him sprawled out on one of the sofas on the balcony, soaking in the sun.

"Nice dress," he said as I walked out to join him.

I crossed my arms over my chest, touching my bare shoulders with my hands self-consciously. "Thanks," I said weakly.

I was nervous. Why was I so nervous? This was just Travis. The guy who used to get bullied by the girls at school. The guy who spent most of his time with a game controller in his hands, sat in a ridiculous gaming chair which must have cost his parents a small fortune to buy.

I plonked myself down in one of the armchairs and threw my head back, letting the sun caress my face with its rays.

"How's your portrait coming along?" He asked, running a hand over his scruff of a beard.

"Almost done, it's actually looking better than I thought it would, if I may say so myself."

"Well duh, you're a good artist."

I smirked a little. "Thank you kindly, good sir."

He tipped lip of the cap he was wearing at me. "Of course, my good lady," he replied jovially.

"What about you?"

"All done." He brushed his hands together as though he was brushing away some dust. "Dad posted it for me this morning. You better get a move on or you'll miss the submission date."

I sighed. "Yeah, I know, I know."

There was a long silence, a weird one. Something felt a bit off between us and I wondered if he felt it too, or if it was just me.

"So," we chorused. We looked at each other and both laughed.

"Movie?" I said, still laughing.

"Movie," he agreed, standing up straight and going inside.

I followed behind him, launching myself at the u-shaped sofa that sat opposite Travis's families ridiculously sized television.

He went into the kitchen, opening the fridge door and disappearing inside, he called out, "Drink?"

I nodded my head and though he couldn't see it, he reappeared a moment later with two bottles of cola. I grinned at him as he opened one and passed me it. "The glass bottles taste the best."

"Totally."

Travis sat down next to me and turned on the television with the remote, lining up the movie and pressing play. The opening credits began to roll across the screen, and I slid down in the seat, getting comfortable.

He'd been right about the death and explosions, there was a lot of it, but there was also a romance arc between the good guy and one of the girls who was a part of a rival gang. That kind of thing didn't usually bother me, but when it started to get hot and heavy with a shower scene, after the girl saved the good guy from being shot, I found myself stealing sidelong glances at Travis.

I wasn't as sneaky as I thought I was being, and after another scene, where the guy and girl were caught making out in a club, Travis finally paused the movie.

"What?" He gave me a deadpan look. "Why do you keep staring at me?"

I'd been caught! "I'm not staring at you." I laughed sarcastically, trying to play it off.

"You totally were."

I gave him a playful shove. "Lies."

Travis rolled his eyes at me. "You've been weird since yesterday, weirder than usual, and you've been pretty weird lately as it is. You can't hide it from me, I know somethings up."

There was no hiding it, clearly, and if I really wanted his help, well then, I had to just suck it up and go for it. I twisted in my seat to face him, feeling myself blushing as I did. "If it's ok, I really need to kiss you," I said, blurting it out before I had the chance to chicken out.

Travis gave me a look like I was completely crazy.

"Jesus Travis, you don't have to look so horrified," I said, my cheeks burning as though they were on fire.

His jaw dropped, then clamped shut. "Is this some sort of prank," he asked, looking around the room as if he expected people pop up with their hidden cameras. "If it's a joke, I don't get it."

"It's not a joke, I'm being serious," I said struggling to look him in the eye. This was so embarrassing. "I-I need to kiss you because I've never kissed a guy before, and I need to know what it's like."

He shook his head in wonder. "Why me, you could easily get any guy in the school to kiss you."

"It's not what you think, I promise. I just, I think I might like girls." I breathed out the words, quick like ripping off a plaster. "Or just one girl in particular maybe. But I just need to know for certain because I've only ever been kissed by her."

"Oh," he replied, realisation seemingly kicking in as the look of horror slipped from his face. "You just need a stand in?"

My eyes widened earnestly as I nodded back at him. "Someone I trust."

He messed up his hair and scrunched up his face a little. "Then I guess that's ok, as long as you aren't going to go and fall in love with me afterwards."

I smirked at him. "I promise I won't fall in love with you."

He sniggered, then waved his hand at me. "Can you get it over with then so we can get back to the film?"

"Okay," I said, scooting closer to him.

I was now inches from his face, so close that I could see that his beard was not quite as full as I had thought it was. There were small patches where it hadn't quite grown in fully and his sideburns were completely uneven. I leaned in and could smell freshly cut wood and something else, something kind of smoky that I couldn't quite put my finger on.

Travis tapped his watch. "I don't have all day Cat."

I rolled my eyes and dove in headfirst, literally. As our lips crashed together, so did our foreheads. We stayed like that, for what must have been seconds, our lips moving against each other's in a soft natural motion, before we separated from each other awkwardly.

I placed my hand on my forehead, rubbing it gently. "Ow."

Travis leaned back into the sofa cushion, peering at me thoughtfully. "How was it? Other than the part where you headbutted me of course."

"It was..." I tried to find the words I was looking for. "It was gross," I said, the words coming out harsher than I had intended. I pulled a face and cleared my throat. "I mean, you're not gross, but it was gross. You're fine, especially if it was with anyone else. But not me."

He nodded, smiling. "I concur." He stuck his tongue out at me. "It was like kissing my sister, if I had a sister."

I smiled back at him and gave him another shove. "Thanks!"

"Did it at least help?" he asked, giving me a sincere look. "Do you feel like you know now?"

I thought about it for a moment. My head pounded with relief that I done it, that is was done, I had done the thing I had set out to do. It had felt like I was kissing my brother, which alone wouldn't have been enough for me to have felt sure.

It was that the image of Addie burned vividly into the forefront my brain whilst we were kissing that made me certain. A feeling of guilt so strong like I was betraying her, which of course I wasn't, yet it felt like I was. It was the fact that the warm, homely sensation I'd felt when I was with her, I didn't have at all with him.

If it was going to be anyone, it would have been him, I didn't like anybody else. But it wasn't him, it wasn't him even in the slightest. This was how I knew for sure.

"Yeah, I'm sure," I replied, feeling suddenly as though a huge weight had lifted. My cheek itched slightly where his beard had scratched against it duringthe kiss, I fought the urge the urge to run to the bathroom and wash my face.

"Good. Because I'm not doing that again, it was sickening."

Travis sniggered as I threw a sofa cushion at him, he ducked, and it bounced off the back of the sofa and across the floor before coming to a stop.

***Yay another Chapter completed! Today's my wedding anniversary so I just wanted to wish you all love and happiness <3

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