Each morning I woke up, I felt it a little bit more.

I couldn't quite place my finger on it, but it was like a sadness... a loss, even.

I just didn't know what was causing it and it was sending me spiralling into a pit of despair.

"I need to get my memories back," I announced at breakfast to Ron and Harry one June morning. "It's been over two months now and I've still got no idea why they have been erased, and I know something sad happened to me because I can feel it in my heart. It's... broken."

Harry fidgeted in his seat but said nothing.

"Well, the only way to break a memory charm is through torture," Ron muttered, "and if you think Harry or I will put you through that just so you can find out what's depressing you, then you can think again."

"Do not talk to me about retrieving lost memories," Harry sulked as he aggressively buttered a piece of burnt toast, "I'm getting nowhere with Slughorn who refuses to admit he'd ever had a conversation with Tom Riddle in the first place, let alone one about Horcruxes. Bastard."

"I still don't understand why Dumbledore is making you do this?" I frowned, nibbling on a bit of bacon despite my broken heart. "If it's such a vital piece of information so important to saving the world then why can't Dumbledore just explain this to Slughorn himself?"

"Yeah," Ron agreed thickly through a mouthful of egg. "And is Slughorn seriously the only wizard in the world who knows what a Horcrux is? I thought Dumbledore was supposed to be the greatest wizard of all time, yet has to resort to getting a sixteen year old school boy to do some basic research for him."

Harry pulled a face. He didn't like it when we dissed his favourite teacher, no matter how crackpot crazy Dumbledore came across as.

"No. Dumbledore is relying on me and I won't let him down. Liquid luck is the only way to go."

"Dude, don't waste it on a teacher!" Ron implored, spraying bits of egg everywhere. "Take it on a night out and use it to get some girl action. Imagine... you could be the filling in a babe sandwich."

I looked at Ron, horrified. "And that's your idea of a lucky night, is it? Needing to satisfy not one but two women?"

"Who said anything about satisfying them?" Ron shrugged, winking at Harry. "It's our lucky night, we just sit back and let the women do all the work."

Ugh, and to think I used to want to kiss this jerk.

"What's the matter, 'Mione?" He asked when I sighed in disgust and pushed my unfinished plate of breakfast aside. "I'm just having a joke. You're not jealous are you?"

"No, quite the opposite, actually," I bit. Merlin, I was beginning to think I had outgrown these two morons.

I couldn't understand it, I was feeling angry, depressed, frustrated and irritable. I needed to get out of there, and I needed to get away from Ron and Harry.

Without even a goodbye, I got to my feet and stormed across the Great Hall, pushing past people who got in my way.

It was only when I drew level with the Slytherin table did I feel a pair of eyes on me.

I glanced up and froze. Draco Malfoy was staring at me, his gaze burning intensely into mine. My heart hammered, and rather than look away, I found myself staring back, a shiver running down my spine as his eyes continued to penetrate mine.

And I knew in that moment that something had happened between us. Something that made me feel drawn to him... connected, even.

My feet were moving before I could register what was happening - without thought or reason, I was going to him. My body seemed driven by a force of its own and there was no stopping this strange desire to be near him, to draw comfort from his presence.

He got to his feet before I could reach him, striding purposefully down the table towards me. I should have felt alarmed by the scowl on his face but I didn't, instead my body seemed to tingle all over in anticipation of being near him.

Catching my elbow, he began to brusquely lead me from the hall, guiding me towards the Entrance Hall without a word.

"Malfoy- what are you-?"

But he silenced me with a hiss, looking back over his shoulder at the Gryffindor table where it seemed Ron and Harry were far too deep in conversation to notice what was happening. No doubt they were back to discussing the 'ins and outs' of threesomes.

Having led me into the Entrance Hall, Draco pulled me to the side, away from the traffic of students entering and exiting the Great Hall.

When he spoke, I was surprised and a little disconcerted by what he had to say.

"You need to get away from here."

I raised my eyebrows, bemused. "I know, you've been pretty much telling me that from the very first day I met you."

He drove a hand through his hair, as though frustrated. "No. You don't understand. It's not safe for you here. You need to leave, get as far away from Hogwarts as possible."

I stared up at him in silence. It was most strange, Draco Malfoy talking to me like he actually cared.

There was no denying that we had formed some sort of a bond during these tutorials, but I just couldn't imagine it... couldn't imagine Draco being nice to me. Yet here it was.

"Why are you suddenly so concerned about my wellbeing?" I asked quietly, holding his gaze and trying to see in his eyes the answers to my questions. "Did- did something happen between us?"

He swallowed, the Adam's apple bobbing in his throat. "Don't. Please."

And I felt it then, the feeling of deep contentment spreading over me, cocooning me like a warm blanket. It was familiar, but at the same time foreign to me. I knew I had felt it before but I just couldn't remember.

"It did... didn't it?" I breathed, daring to inch closer to him, the scent of his cologne tickling my nose and making me want to move even closer. "Was it something bad... or good?"

He closed his eyes, as though in pain. "It was good." His voice was hoarse; thick with emotion. "It was very good."

I could feel my heart suddenly pound against my ribcage as blood roared in my ears. My breathing quickly became disjointed and shallow and I had to physically stop myself from reaching out and touching him.

"I don't- I don't understand," I found myself saying, forcing my words because suddenly speaking had become difficult. "What's going on? Was it you? Did you erase my memories?"

He didn't say anything at first, instead twisting away from me as though looking at me was difficult to him. "I had to do it. I didn't have a choice-"

"There's always a choice!" I said, shaking. "What was it you wanted me to forget? Us? The fact that you could ever care for a Mudblood?"

He snapped back around, anger flashing in his eyes. "Don't. Don't call yourself that."

The situation was so surreal, it was almost comical. Draco Malfoy was defending me against the use of a word he had introduced me to.

I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. So it was much to my surprise when I found myself reaching out and touching his face instead, shocked when he didn't flinch away.

Instead, he sucked in a sharp breath, his body shuddering as a tremor went through him.

"Hermione," he whispered, closing his eyes as he reached up to clasp his hand over mine, his touch feeling frighteningly familiar.

"OI- MALFOY! GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM HER!"

Heart racing, I dropped my hand and immediately spun around. Ron was exiting the Great Hall, looking utterly thunderous as he stormed towards us like an angry red-haired rhinoceros, with Harry hurrying along behind him.

Saying nothing, Draco tore away from me, striding hastily away up the corridor before Ron could reach us.

I stared after the white-blond haired Slytherin, my mind flooded with confusion, not knowing whether to follow him for more answers or to stay and try and calm Ron down.

"Did he hurt you?" Ron asked, skidding to a halt in front of me. "Because if he did, I'll kill him."

"No," I said at once. "He didn't. But I think- I think he was the one who took my memories. In fact... I know he did. He basically just admitted it to me."

Ron looked aghast, his mouth gaping open. "But... why? We need to tell Dumbledore. Malfoy could get locked up for this, at least most definitely expelled."

"No!" I pleaded, grabbing his arm at once. "I don't think his intentions were malicious. He seemed frightened about something."

"Frightened? Malfoy?" Ron scoffed. "Pfft, I always knew he was a coward."

Harry remained uncharacteristically quiet during this exchange, which, I realised was most definitely odd because he used to always have so much to say on the subject of Draco.

I stared at him long and hard, not missing the way his cheeks coloured slightly.

"Harry," I said slowly as he showed a sudden interest in an invisible speck of lint on the front of his robes, "you know something, don't you?"

Ron blinked, looking between the two of us. "What? What's going on?"

"That's exactly what I want to know," I said fiercely, glowering at Harry who was still avoiding my eyes.

"Look," he said, nervously giving his glasses a little lift off his nose, "I was supportive about it right up until his antics almost killed Ron. He's dangerous Hermione, but you were too blinded by love to see-"

"LOVE?" Ron and I spluttered in unison, both of us sounding as disbelieving as the other.

A few students slowed down to give us startled looks.

"Harry," I breathed, lowering my voice, "are you trying to tell me that Malfoy and I were in some sort of relationship which you knew about?"

"No. No way. Not Malfoy." Ron said bluntly, shaking his head. "You wouldn't, Hermione. You just would never go there. Tell me you wouldn't... would you?"

I looked at him, and saw the way his face crumpled when I couldn't say no. Because the truth was, I could believe it. My heart was still feeling it even if my mind had forgotten.

"I'm sorry, Hermione," Harry said quietly, glancing guiltily at Ron. "But you were quite invested. I even walked in on you and him... um- well let's just say that you're no longer a virgin."

The mortification that followed this revelation was out of this world. I just wanted to crumple into a heap right there in the Entrance Hall and die.

Next to me, Ron's breathing had become heated and erratic, his face was slowly turning purple, his hands bunched into fists as his arms hung either side of him like a gorilla.

"I'm gonna kill him," he gritted fiercely. "I'm gonna fucking tear him from limb to limb for taking advantage of Hermione like that."

"Harry, how could you keep this from me?" I asked, wringing my hands through my hair. "I feel so... violated."

"You were only with him in the first place because you were upset about Ron and Lavender," Harry implored. "You would never have gone near him otherwise. And not only that you started protecting him! I know he's a Death Eater and yet you still wouldn't confirm it! You're a Muggle-born, Hermione, protecting a Death Eater's identity! Can't you see how twisted that is?!"

"The only thing twisted is the fact that you were going to let me go on through life still thinking I was a virgin!" I yelled, pushing my face right up in Harry's. "Some friend you are!"

"I WAS TRYING TO PROTECT YOU FROM HIM!" He roared, spittle flying from his mouth.

"I DON'T NEED PROTECTING! I NEED HONEST FRIENDS WHO I CAN TRUST!"

"Well, I suppose you think that would be Malfoy, but don't forget he was the one who Obliviated you! He was the one who took away your choices and knowledge of who you'd become - not me!"

I was so angry, so full of emotion, my mind full of questions and disbelief, that I hadn't noticed our trio had become a duo.

"Where's Ron?" I asked, wheeling on the spot as I looked furtively around.

But the Entrance Hall was empty.

"I don't know," Harry said wryly, quickly removing the Marauders Map from his pocket, "but I think I can hazard a guess at who he's gone after."

It took two minutes to locate them, two minutes to discover that Ron had followed Draco into the sixth-floor boys' bathroom.

Oh, fuck.

******