As the call disconnected with static, leaving stagnant hurting silence behind.

They stood rooted to their spots.

Numb.

Their minds somewhere struck between too much and too less information.

What was happening?

Mayank was speechless.

He had felt his heart go static hearing Dev's words. His soul had gone all numb. Dev's words crashing violently against the walls of his mind-hurting.

Everything was hurting to be truthful.

"You weren't there when I fell on an overdosed Virat!"

"You weren't there as we frantically searched for his heartbeat and pulse!"

"You weren't there when the doctors flushed out everything from his system!"

"You weren't there when we anxiously waited for the doctor's verdict" it wasn't said but it was certainly implied.

"You weren't there!!!!"

Those words. Those words swirled in Mayank's mind like glass dust. The fine particles making his nerves bleed. Mayank wouldn't be much surprised if tears of blood suddenly seeped out of his eyes.

It was hurting!

It was haunting!

And everything felt daunting.

He was with Virat all day long. How didn't he notice these fine details? How he failed to read his brother? Didn't they always claim-Virat's an open book the easiest to read!!

Then how did they fail to read an open book?

It wasn't written in a language they didn't know or understand. It was a simple book they had looked over a thousand times. How did they fail to find the missing chunks of a book so well-read?

Mayank didn't know!

He just blamed himself a little more. After all, he spent the whole day with Virat. He was with him and still, he couldn't spot anything different. Looking back now, he could spot many odd things but again, late realizations seldom helped.

What's the use of befitting replies rotating in mind when you were just a shuttering blank mess during the actual heated debate? How sitting in home and thinking of sprouting this and that help when you fail to deliver at the actual moment?

Mayank didn't know!!

And he couldn't help but blame himself for not noticing. The obvious chink in the armours, the shineless eyes, the obvious craving for physical reassurances and declaration.

The way Yuzi or someone else's casual bump on the shoulder, a reassuring hand, a little tug at the fingers, sudden unexpected hugs seemed to ignite the barest of smiles from Virat dispelling his faraway lost looks.

It was all too obvious now and they were all too oblivious. So oblivious!! So bloody oblivious!!!

Mayank wanted to scream and screech. He wanted to break and bolt. He wanted to tear and crash but nothing would change anything. It won't change the glaring facts at the front of his face. It won't magically erase all their problems and communication gaps. It won't magically make everything all right.

They can't wave a magic wand and make everything the way it should be. They don't have anything but to face the situation and try. They don't have any other f**king option.

Well, they had one, they can act like this never happened. They can all go back to their rooms and sleep and wake up the next morning and act their usual selves, erasing all this from their memories.

The sudden clang derailed Mayank's thoughts, startled he noticed Rahul's phone lying on the floor beside his feet.

"It must have slipped," Mayank guessed, not at all surprised as he bent down to pick the object.

His gaze taking in the blank screen of his phone too. It seemed even Mahi bhai had disconnected the call.

Sighing!

Mayank got up and looked around him and felt someone had knocked out the air from his lungs again.

The manifestation of his best friend's emotions was alarming. It wasn't so much about the emotions his face was expressing for his face was a blank mask. It was his eyes. His orbs aflame with intense trauma.

Anguish!

Silent Anguish!

Mayank could feel it rippling and splashing all around him. The different form of anguish, even the breeze around them seemed to be crying.

Does the fear of losing someone dear feel like this?

Does everything suddenly appear dull?

Anguish!

Does anguish make you find faults like in everything in the world?
Does it make you question the norms and rules and hate people?
Does it make even all the beautiful sights feel dull?

Mayank didn't know!

But he suddenly knew very well, what it looked like. And he hadn't even glanced towards Rohit bhaiya or the other senior players even once. He doesn't think he can without the last thread holding him together breaking.

The situation around him. The dreary vibe of the atmosphere around him suddenly taking him back to a late-night conversation with his wife during KWK fiasco.

Her words churning in his mind.

"You're expecting kindness from a world, that's becoming less so with each passing second,"

"You're expecting empathy from people who frown at emotions,"

"Criticism!!!"

Her faux laughter breezing around in the late evening suddenly feeling unreally real.

"Love! There's a fine line between criticism and hatred turning into verbal diarrhoea,"

"But criticism is required to excel,"

Mayank had countered, certain, you can't excel until you fall and know what you're doing wrong.

"I never said, you don't, love. I said there's a fine line between criticism and hate-spewing,"

"Criticism is analyzing and judging the merits and demerits. It is the expression of disapproval based on perceived faults or mistakes. Criticism is telling what did you wrong?"

"You're a failure! Isn't a criticism. It's hate. Senseless cursing based on prejudice isn't criticism it's hate, love! And people these days do just that, they forget every flower blooms on their own time. Being harsh with a bud to make it bloom will only make it wilt."

"What do you want to say exactly?" Mayank had been confused back then, not knowing what Miss Lawyer was exactly going about.

"Well, what I mean is the world needs to understand, behaving too harshly with a sapling will end up killing it,"

"You're making no sense, you know" grumbled Mayank.

She had smiled.

"Well, dearest hubby what I want to convey now is that Rahul is like an exotic sapling suddenly shifted to a foreign environment, not at all suitable for his growth. It doesn't have an apt temp. Or the apt amount of sunlight for its growth, the water is too much, the soil lacks nutrition and day by day he is wilting. The condition isn't right for his survival. The pH is too acidic. Now, if he is left by himself in nature, he'll whither slowly but surely. Now add, a gardener to the scenario or someone who knows the requirements of that particular sapling. He will try to provide the sapling with an artificial environment similar to his original environment. The plant will grow and flowers will bloom then right now, Rahul is stuck in a similar environment. Everyone is harsh, the things don't feel right, people around have acidic thoughts all he needs is a little extra care, extra effort, extra work to make him bloom again," she finished with a huff.

"So, couldn't you simply say that I've to keep on working and caring for him even when he tries to shoo me away," Mayank muttered rolling his eyes. He hadn't opted for a philosophy class.

His wife had just rolled her eyes, exasperatedly.

He had forgotten all about it, to be truthful.

But he had gotten a glimpse of it all when Rishab had been targeted and Virat took up the role of the "gardener", helping the boy adjust, testing and retesting, adjusting the pH around.

Mayank thought only saplings needed protection. He had forgotten even hundred years old trees can die, slowly-painfully due to poisoning. The soil beneath the tree named " Virat" had suddenly turned too acidic and unsuitable for any form of life.

But that's okay, they've gotten to know about the problem in time. Now, they just need to neutralize the problem.

Extra-care, extra-effort, extra-work, extra-affection, yeah, done, check. Mayank was ready to do everything. Well, he didn't know who else was joining him in this extra innings but he sure, isn't letting Virat rot from inside due to some foolish people sprouting chemical all around him.

Mayank will save his Virat bhaiya from himself. Yeah, he'll. He just needs to know what is eating him from inside first. Which chemical had exactly entered his system and is going all haywire?

Yeah, he'll do it and then everything will be alright.

Yeah, everything will be alright!

It had to be!!!

~~~~~~~~~~

It had been a hour since, MSD booked the fastest available tickets to Australia. It has been a hour since he asked Sakshi to pack his things. He had tried to help but he wasn't of any help.

The words of that kid ringing in his mind.

"Overdosed!!!" Mahi couldn't get that word out of his mind.

How close was he really to losing his Cheeku forever and totally unaware?

Why hadn't anyone deemed it necessary to inform him about this?

Yuzi! At least, he should have told him, his Cheeku was hurting so bad and alone.

Why didn't they tell them?

Why didn't cheeku tell them?

Didn't he trust his Mahi bhai enough to tell him he was hurting so bad?

Did he break his cheeku?

Did he hurt his cheeku?

Had he really pushed his cheeku so far away from him that he didn't come to him even though he was in so much pain?

The eighteen-year-old child that he first met in 2008, the nineteen-year-old child that debuted under him and stayed in the team as a reserve. The child who whined to him on paper cuts is now, hiding the things seriously hurting and damaging him?

When did he become so big, huh? When did he become so big to not tell his problems to his big brother? Where did the guy who had once told him,

"You'll be my brother foreverr, bhaiyaaa"

"Sirf aapko haq diya hai, bhaiii agar unke baad meri life ka koi decision le skta hai voh aap ho"

"Of course, bhai sirf khne k liye nhi bolta mein, manta hu bhai, of course question nhi krunga aapk decision ko, aap le skte ho decision mere liye, meine haq diya hai aapko, nhi question krna mujhe, I trust you!!"

He remembers the over-frustrated angry guy all but declaring this. The little brother, who trusted him the most, didn't question any of his decision regarding him and he remembers his little brother turned a big brother too.

The first time his Cheeku disagreed with him and it was because of his little brothers. The pain of disagreeing with him clear in his eyes but the determination prominent in those chocolaty orbs too. He will go to any lengths for those kids.

Even then Mahi had read his Cheeku like an open book. He knew the reason of conflict. He knew Virat was hurting. He knew Virat won't back off too. His Cheeku was stubborn like that, once he had decided something, he tended to do just that, you couldn't change his mind.

Mahi knew his Cheeku.

He knew the shy little boy who invited him to his home.

The boy who couldn't hear a word against his brothers.

The boy who could fight the world when triggered.

Mahi knew, a boy who didn't think himself a star. He knew a boy who didn't feel like he was above anyone or greater than someone. He knew a boy who didn't think twice before picking up fights with commoners and crowds alike.

A boy who didn't understand that he was a celeb and he couldn't fight or retort to random people cursing him. A boy who didn't know how to ignore everything? A boy who didn't know how to act aloof and above everyone?

A boy who didn't consider himself a star, a boy who didn't consider himself above anyone. A boy with his heart on sleeve.

Mahi knew that boy then how could he not see through the boy's act? How could he overlook all this? How did he miss the brokenness in his kid? How did he not notice that slowly Virat was distancing himself?

Why didn't he comfort the kid?

Why he decided to give him some time to come back on his own?

Why did he assume Virat was behaving so because he was still sulking over his retirement decision?

Why hadn't he tried?

Why hadn't he?

The questions won't leave him. The self-blame, the anger won't just leave him alone.

Virat was his kid. The kid who confessed to him that after his father's demise he had been the first person who felt like home to Virat, the first person who felt like a safety blanket, a safety net. The first person who took the role of a friend, a brother and even a father when times called in Virat's life.

He meant a lot to Virat.

Beside his family, Mahi was the person Virat blindly trusted.

Mahi was Virat's home away from his home.

And Mahi knew all this.

And this time, the wounded bird didn't seek his home. Mahi couldn't look past this fact. His Cheeku didn't search him in pain. His Cheeku didn't scream for his brother when afraid.

When did this happen?

When did his Cheeku grow so big?

When did his bright mischievous twinkling star metamorph into the stoic moon? Beautiful, distant, lonely appearing in phases.

"Mahi!!! It'll be alright! Everything will be fine!" Sakshi said, putting a reassuring hand on MS's shoulder.

"Kaise hoga, Saks? I don't know, Cheeku, mera Cheeku aisi halat mein aur mujhe pata hi nhi!!Itna kb badal gaya voh? Itna kb bada ho gaya? Apne bhai ko batana zaruri nhi samjha? Itna paraya kr diya? Ek baar nhi socha bhai pr kya guzeregi?" asked Mahi, burying his face in Sakshi's embrace as she rubbed his back consolingly feeling equally worried for her dear brother-in-law.

"Koi stupid reason pakad kr baith gaya hoga! You know your Cheeku! Ab tum ja rhe ho na line mein aa jayega, sb theek ho jayega!" Sakshi reassured, trying her best to stop her voice from breaking and eyes from raining.

Cheeku! she couldn't imagine that kid in that condition yet the kid was in such condition. She didn't know what's the real scenario was like, she didn't know how damaged the kid really had become? she just knew she couldn't let her husband break now.

"He'll be okay, right" asked Mahi in a feeble tone, he needed someone to tell him, his Cheeku would be fine.

Everything will be fine.

Everything will be same.

"Yeah! He'll be,"

The words felt more like a lie,a white-lie on Sakshi's lips. For she knew, damaged things and people alike were never the same again.

The cracks.

The scars.

The dents.

The marks.

Remained forever.

___________________________

Like the last few days, Virat woke up gasping for breath, perspiring and feeling cold all at once. For a moment, he was thoroughly confused staring at his reflection in the mirror as far as he was aware his room's mirror wasn't exactly in front of his bed. His walking dead like appearance through didn't surprise him much but the bodies curled beside him in odd shapes and forms absolutely did.

Washy's legs were over Nav's chest.

Yuzi was sleeping in a sitting position.

His back was going to kill him.

Kul was sleeping on the sofa.

Rishu was sleeping on the floor.

So was Siri.

But why? Virat thought all confused and suddenly, last night's incidences clashed in his mind like a cannonball.

Hurting, embarrassing and shaming, the fire of these trinity burned bright in Virat's mind. He didn't want people to know he is down. He didn't want them to know. He didn't. It wasn't supposed to happen. They weren't supposed to know. They weren't supposed to know.

The weren't supposed to know he is broken.

The weren't supposed to know he is damaged.

They weren't supposed to know he is miserable.

They weren't supposed to know something is wrong with him.

They weren't supposed too.

They weren't supposed too.

~to be continued~