It's the dead of the night when she makes a promise. A promise to herself. To never let go and always be by her side. No matter what, no questions asked.

It's raining and the water droplets are spilling in through the open window. She doesn't care, she could always clean up the mess the following morning. What she does care about, however, is her friend. The one who is thrashing around in her sleep, mumbling something she can't quite make out.

She can see the vulnerability and The anguish. Her best friend, the one she now regards as her older sister is broken.

She would never ask for help. She was the big sister, the one who always has it together when shit hits the fan. The one who was-is always there for her. Through her Harshad crisis, through her pregnancy, taking care of Abeer, hell she moved in with her. When cabir left, she stepped up to take over for him, she didn't have to but she did.

And it wasn't like she doesn't have her own baggage to deal with. She may not have shown it but cabir and manik's accident and alleged death broke her. The lost fab 5 sent her further into the abyss. They were her family, the people she lived for. And now, they didn't exist.

Getting revenge on Maddy was not just because he broke the guitar strings. It was a desperate attempt to salvage what was left of fab 5's legacy. Manik came back but cabir did not. it tugs at her heartstrings, the knowledge that he is never coming back. And now Dhruv. His departure hurts her as much as it hurts Manik.

She wants to protect her, shield her from this cruel world because today she was crying out for help. Literally and figuratively.

"No...please Navya...don't go." her small voice spoke over the rain as she somehow curls in on herself even more.

"Mukti." navya called out gently not wanting to scare her further. When she didn't get a response, she carefully turned her over on her back.

The sight of the rockstar breaks her heart. Her hairline is covered in sweat, cheeks stained with tears and fresh ones tracking their way down her face. Her face is twisted in pain.

"Dhruv, nav-navya... dont leave...i-m so sorry." she whimpered and thrashed around, curling her fist around the sheets.

This was bad. She needs to wake her up before she hurts herself. "Hey, it's okay. Mukti, listen to me," she whispered, her voice falling on deaf ears. shaking her shoulder she tried again. "Mukti! Hey. I'm here. C'mon wake up."

"Dont leave...no!" she jerked her head to the side so hard that Navya was worried she would get whiplash.

"Mukti. Hey, listen. I'm right here. Wake up!" she gave another shake, harder this time.

"No, wait!" She snapped her eyes open and sat up abruptly scaring navya for a second. She looked around trying to grasp her surroundings.

"Hey hey hey. Mukti relax, I m right here." navya's voice pierced through her nightmare woven head. She softly held her hands and looked into her scared eyes. "Are you okay?"

Mukti averted her gaze mumbling a yes.

Navya sighed in defeat. She hoped maybe today she would not have denied her feelings. "In that case, let's go back to sleep." she tried removing her hand but mukti pulled it right back giving it a light squeeze.

"It felt so real," she said it so softly that navya would have missed it if she wasn't listening closely.

"What felt so real?"

"Everything. Dhruv, Manik, cabir- fab 5 and...y-you." she took a deep breath before continuing. "I saw you guys leaving. One by one. First, it was Abhimanyu then cabir, Manik, Dhruv then Alia. And..." she trailed off unable to take the last name.

"And?" she pushed. Today she was not going to let her bottle it up.

"You. I saw you leaving with abeer. I was just standing there. I watched and screamed but none of you could hear me... I felt you guys slipping away an-and I couldn't do anything. I felt so-so helpless." She confessed. She was tired. Tired of hiding. Every day she wakes up, puts on a smile and pretends everything is okay when really, it isn't.

Navya pulled her in for a hug and rubbed her back. "I'm here now and I'm not going anywhere. It's oka..."

"No!" She shouted pushing away. "It's not okay. It's supposed to be but it's not. I'm done. Done with all the betrayals, all the fake promises." She could feel the tears burning behind her closed eyelids. " how could dhruv...i mean what has happened to everyone?! People are coming and leaving from our lives according to their comfort level. Don't they care about how it makes us feel?! They want to stay comfortable and do what makes them feel happy. that's it." she grabbed her hair in frustration. " but you know what, I'm used to all this. I really don't care! If you want to stay then stay or get lost. I bloody dont care, I dont give a damn!" by now her tears were openly flowing.

Navya wrapped her arms around her shaking frame and waited for her to continue. "Abhi taught me how to smile again. He taught me what true love is. He promised he would never leave but he did. He never came back. He left me hanging. I don't even know if he is alive!"

"Mukti he.."

"And fab 5. The fab 5! My family. The ones who I loved more than myself. I would have given up everything for them without a second thought. I meant every word we sang for the talent hunt. I never imagined things would turn out like this. cab..." She let out a sob. "That blast. That blast took away everything. It didn't just kill cabir, it killed fab 5. I'm happy that Manik is back but...it's never going to be the same without cabir and Dhruv. It never was and never can be."

"I'm sorry. But I promise...we will get dhruv back. No matter where he is, we will find him. Manik will never let him go." she meant it. She will not break Mukti's trust. After all that she has done for her that was least she could do.

"Please don't make promises you can't keep. I'm sick and tired of people breaking them."

"I'm going to keep to it. I mean it. Dhruv is my friend too and I want that idiot back. Besides your not going to let him off that easy after what he did to Alia. Right?" she gave a slight nudge.

Mukti let a small smile graced her lips. "No. I'm going to tie him to my bike and drag him around. How could he do that to Alia?"

"Maybe he was just looking for an excuse to get away. Varun and Alia may have just been that excuse."

"But why? We are friends. We are supposed to deal with it together. Whatever was happening to him, we could have handled it... Shit, what if I ignored him? What if he felt that he couldn't share it with us?"

"Mukti.."

"I screwed up shit. This is my fault!"

"Mukti no. dont do this to yourself. Dhruv knows he can count on you guys. Maybe he just needed space. You are not responsible for the choices he makes."

"But..."

"Why dont you follow your own advice?"

"What?"

"You once told me that I m just a 20-year-old college student and single mom. I managing how much I possibly can. So why can't you see that you are in the same boat?" she waited for that to sink in before continuing. "You are his friend, not his babysitter. There is only so much you can do. A person can't be helped it they dont want it themselves."

"I m going to bury him alive when he comes back." she sighed. 

"And then bring him to the hospital?"

"Maybe. Or I could just leave him there."

"Except you can't because you care too much."

"I never said that."

"You didn't need to."

After a brief silence, Mukti added. "I miss him."

"I know you miss Dhruv. We all..."

"Cabir. I miss him."

"I miss him too. I sometimes wonder how things could be different. I fidget with his Spongebob whenever I miss him. Although we started off on the wrong foot, he was there for me. With my mom and Harshad, all of you were. Especially you. If it wasn't for you I wouldn't have seen the nicer side of him. I would be wandering around the streets." Navya said, giving her shoulder a comforting squeeze.

Mukti just smiled at her. "You know, we used to plan our pranks, drink and have fun together. We were partners in crime. He always knew how to cheer us up when we were upset. He was like the glue that held us together. That day he tried to stop me from going with rocky and i-i didn't listen. The next day he came rushing just by one call. I guess he really was one call away." a fresh wave of tears stained her face as she recalled the incident.

"Yeah well, I did not appreciate being thrown into the dustbin with a rat mind you. You guys were so mean. Throwing eggs at us." Navya said trying to keep the atmosphere light. She wants her to open up but the tears were hard to see.

Mukti laughed remembering the incident. It was fun for them back then. "Cabir was the one who suggested it miss black and white Madhubala." Her smile faded as more memories flooded her brain. When the news of the accident first arrived, she was torn. But she had to step in and take care of a then-pregnant Navya. She turned away from music because it was so damn painful. She loved music because of fab 5, in fact, she misses it but if they were not there then it doesn't mean anything.

She had been running for so long that for a while she felt numb. She never sat down and mourned the passing of her friends. They had tried to comfort her but she evaded the topic every time. She wasn't ready. Eventually, it just became a defence mechanism, a habit.

Mukti positioned her head on navya's lap and clutched her hand. Navya started running her free hand through her hair. "I love you and Abeer a lot. He cries and doesn't let me sleep at night but I still love him." she took a deep breath before continuing. "Navya, please don't walk out on me. I can not handle another one of my loved ones leaving. You guys are really important to me and I will always need you. I cannot imagine my life without you guys. You tied rakhi on my wrist, and I promise to fulfil my duties. But please, don't go." she tightened her grip on her hand, scared that if she let go, Navya would disappear.

Navya leaned down and kissed her temple. "Never. I will always be right here, whenever you need me. I'm not going anywhere." she picked up the fallen blanket and wrapped it around her sleepy friend. "Go to sleep. I will be right here when you wake up." she continued caressing her head and the sound of rain pouring filled the room again. When she felt Mukti loosening her grip, she carefully removed her hand and adjusted them so she was in a more comfortable position.

She closed her eyes and wiped the tears that were slowly making their way down her cheeks. Mukti had finally opened up. She never expected a nightmare to be the way it happened but at least she was finally able to confront her feelings and to certain extent grief. She didn't put up the facade of being fine and just let it out.

At the same time, it scared her. She had seen the pain, fear, hurt and sadness in her eyes when she woke up. She never thought that her strong, brave, 'tomboy' sister had so much buried inside. This was probably just a gist of it. Who knew how much more pain here was inside.

What hit the most was that she was used to it. Just because she was used to it doesn't make it right. Abandonment is not something you just get used to. It's painful. For someone to say such a thing is pretty devastating.

Navya couldn't even begin to imagine how much agony this person in front of her has been through. She needs to talk to her, help her, but that was for another time. Right now she just wished Mukti would get a good night's sleep.

She looked down at her sleeping rockstar whispering, "I love you too. sweet dreams."

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