Sanskar POV

*NEXT MORNING*

Sunlight peeked though the curtains of her room disturbing her sleep.She was trying to cover her eyes but was unable to do so.I kept looking at her innocent face and the world around me just stopped.

(Background music)

[Tujhe dekh dekh sona - 2

Tujhe dekh kar hain jagna

Maine yeh zindagani

Sang tere bitaani

Tujhmein basi hain meri jaan haai

(jiya dhadak dhadak - 3

Jaayen) - 2

Tujhe dekh dekh sona

Tujhe dekh kar hain jagna

Maine yeh zindagani

Sang tere bitaani

Tujhmein basi hain meri jaan haai

Jiya dhadak dhadak - 3

Jaayen

Kabse hai dil mein mere armaan kai ankahe - 2

Inko tu sunle aaja chaahat ke rang chadha jaa - 2

Kehna kabhi to mera maan haai

(jiya dhadak dhadak - 3

Jaayen) - 2

Lagta hain yeh kyu mujhe sadiyon se chaahu tujhe - 2

Mere sapno mein aake apna mujhko banake - 2

Mujhpe tu kar ehsaan haai

(jiya dhadak dhadak - 3

Jaayen) - 2

Tujhe dekh dekh sona

Tujhe dekh kar hain jagna

Maine yeh zindagani

Sang tere bitani

tujh mei basi hain meri jaan haai

(jiya dhadak dhadak - 3

Jaayen) - 2

Dhadak jaaye jiya

Dhadak jaaye jaaye

Jiya dhadak dhadak

Jiya dhadak dhadak

Dhadak dhadak dhadak jaaye

(jiya dhadak dhadak - 3

Jaaye) - 4]

She slowly opened her blue eyes and looked at the window.A small smile played on her lips. I was standing at her door leaning against the door frame and watching her. The smile for which I can go to any extent. I smiled at her too. She tried to sit up but couldnt do so.I rushed towards her and helped her to sit up.

Swara(smiling):Good morning Sanky..

I(smiling):Good morning Shona. Why did you get up so early?Its just 7 now.You should take maximum rest you know since you are hurt.

Swara:I am fine Sanky and I need to practice for the concert too.

I:But......

Swara(determined):No means NO. (seeing into my eyes)more than me you need sleep

I(avoiding eye contact):No Im fine I dont need sleepI am just..

Swara(holding my hand):Another nightmare??

I just noded my head slowly because I know she would catch my lies easily.

Swara(sighing):You could have told me right.And how many times I have told you to sleep in my room so that I can help you out during your nightmare but no the mahan RD doesnt want to disturb anyone else due to his nightmare!! But he doesnt know that this is detoriating his health a lot and he needs to stay fit for himself.if not for you at least for me please Cant you do that for me please..

She looked at me with those blue eyes of her showing so much emossions-concern, care and love!! Am I seeing it right?Her eyes are reflecting love?

I(sighing):Okay I will take care of myself just for you

Swara:So now go to your room and sleep.

I:But I cant sleep there.As soon as I close my eyes it starts to pull me towards itself and I dont know

I started breathing heavily and sweating.She held my arms and tried to pacify me but no use.Suddenly she hugged me tightly and stared saying soothing words to me.Slowly I became normal and freed myself from her.She looked deep into my eyes.

Swara:Come here sleep with me.I will sing for you like you used to do during our childhood.

I(hesitating):No..no..I will just go and sleep in my room

Swara:No you would sleep here only

I:But how can IYou are injured and..no.no.I will go to my room and sleep.

I turned around to leave but she held my wrist and pulled it slightly.

Swara(sobbing):Wont you listen to your only friends request also? Please

I(turning towards her instantly):No no never say like that and these tears have no place in your eyes(wiping her tears).Okay if you want me then I will sleep here but dont cry please(in mind:because it stabs my heart to see you like this)

Swara:So now sleep here.

Saying so she shifted a bit and made place for me to lay down beside her.I did as she said and closed my eyes feeling relaxed.I was surely exhausted but those nightmares always make sleepless.Suddenly I felt soft hands carenessing my hairs trying to make me relax.I recognised her touch and slowly started relaxing in it.Soon sleep took over me.

Swara POV

Seeing Sankys face I could easily decipher that he had another nightmare today also.I know he would never say it aloud so I myself have to figure it out from his face.I forcefully made him lay down on my bed when I know he wouldnt do it.I need to look after his health too after all he is that person in my life for whom I am still alive in this world.He owes me a new life and I promise to myself that I would always stay by his side like he always stays for me.I very well know about his feeling for me but what to do, my insecuirity still didnt leave after so many years.. 4 years. For the past 4 years I am unable to forget that horrifying past of my life and move on.Though I know that Sanskar is always beside me and trying to help me come out of it but there is still a part of mine that looks back to that time.I want to be free from it completely and start afresh.I still remember that time..

*FLASHBACK STARTS*

(Same day from where Flashback had ended before in chapter 3)

I was so so so so happy to meet my bestfriend again. After about 10 years I am meeting him and I am so happy. He hasnt changed at all,that shy and reserved person. But the thing that has changed is that his eyes seems tired and is storing volumes and volumes of secrets. Seeing those eyes which once used to captive me are lost somewhere in those volumes of secrets and I promise to myself that I would surely figure those out.

I got to know that he was staying in hostel. Now when I am staying in my house how can I allow him to stay there.

I:Sanky when I am staying in my house why dont you stay there too??

Sanskar:No NoShona I am fine in the hostel and I am used to it too.For so many years I am staying why not now(said it in low voice)

I:Staying in hostel for many years meaning??? I didnt get what are you trying to say.

Sanskar(sighing):Nothing Just that ki life wanted me to experience those things a bit too early than others you see

Holding his palms in mine I asked..

I(softly):What happened Sanky when I left from Kolkata?? Please tell mePlease

He looked at me. His eyes was devoid of any kind of emossions.Staring blankly at the sky though the window of the classroom he started telling me his past

*FLASHBACK FROM Sanskar POV*(It is his past when he was about 6 years old)

Home what does this word stand for? A house full of luxurious items and lots of maids or a house with people full of love and care? For me the first one was applicable.The only person who loved me was my mom.She was just the person who could understand everything about me even when I dont tell her.After Swara had left for Mumbai I was all alone as I had no other friends in school.Others started bullying me in school.Everyday I used to return back from school and cry. Mom used to pacify me and tell me that I should try and make new friends but I couldnt. Dad used to scold me everyday for that. I never understood why didnt he love me ever. I was never in the good books of my father. Like this one day-

I(crying):Mom when will Shona return back? I want to play with her mom.Please bring her back.

Mom:Dont cry my baccha. She went with her father to a new place.She will take time to return back my baccha Dont cry now.

I(crying):But.. but. noone is there with whom I can play mom.Papa also doesnt play with me.. Am I so bad that he doesnt even look at me.. Tell na mom

Mom(shaky voice):You are not the only one whom he doesnt love or like.He doesnt like.. me too

I(innocently):What do you mean mom??

Mom(wiping her eyes):Nothing You complete your homework and I will bring your food.

Saying so she went out.I was doing my homework when I heard the shouts of my father and breaking of utensils. I peepe though my room and looked downstrairs to witness the most dreatfull scence a child could see. My father was beating mom with his belt.I stood there shocked and transfixed.My mom begged for mercy but he was just deaf to all pleas. He looked up at me.His red eyes frightened me a lot.He was leading towards me but mom stopped him. This angered him and he started beating her more. At last he stopped and went towards his room.I slowly walked towards my mom and kept looking at her continuously.I couldnt understand what to do.She slowly got up with great difficulty and bought food for me.I kept on standing there.She started feeding me.

I:Mom are you fine? You leave it I will ahve it by myself

Mom:No no.. I will feed you.Dont know whether I will get another chance or not.

I was confused what was she trying to say. Before I could ask..

Dad:Tomorrow this boy shouldnt be there in this house. Am I clear?

Mom(scared):Yesyes. I promise he wont be here from tomorrow.But please spare him I beg you please.

Dad left the place.I turned towards my mom with curious eyes.

Mom:You are my very good boy naa.So tomorrow both you and me both will go to a place okay.There would be many children and you need to become friends with them okay.There I wont there with you.So dont cry okay.Mumma will always love you okay

I:But mumma where will I go tomorrow?I dont want to go leaving you. Please..mumma please mumma

Mom:Tomorrow we will go to a place called HOSTEL where you will study hard and become a very good business and make me proud I know you will do thatI know

So the next day Mom dropped me the CHRIST MEMORIAL HOSTEL.I kept on crying and kept on calling my mom telling her not to leave me alone but she just left me and went.

Few years later(when Sanskar was about 16 years old)

My life has changed a lot.I have become quite, independent and lost. My mother left my hand and I lost myself.I thought my mother would come and meet me in the boarding school but all my hops got crashed.Now after about 5 years of my stay there I thought of visiting my home once and to see my mom. Though I didnt want to see her,yes I didnt want to see her because she has broken my trust, dreams and most importantly me.But still I wanted to meet her.I was thinking of shifting to other city for my further studies.Now when I have to stay in hostel then why not go to some good school and continue.With this thought in mind I went home.My mom opened the door and saw me with tear stricken face. She had become pale and weak.I was shocked to see her state.Forgetting all my miseries I just hugged her tightly.She started crying and I just stood there trying to console her.

Mom:BetaHow are you?I am seeing you after a long time

I:Mom I am fine how are you and dad?

Mom:We are fine.

I:Dad is at home I want to meet him

Mom:Hes not here now but he will return then meet him

I(sigh):I thought he would be here to receive me but I think he still didnt accept me.Sometimes I think whether I am his son or not..

Mom(atmost shouting):Never say like that understood.Remember that you are my son UNDERSTOOD!

I(scared):Understood mom But why are you sweating so much mom

Mom(shocking expression):Nothing.nothing..

Saying so she went inside the house.I was shocked seeing her reaction.Why did she react like that?God knows.I shrugged my shoulders and entered.It was still the same I had seen 5 years ago nothing changed but some kind of glooming and tension atmosphere is hovering over the whole house.I tried to figure it out but failed.I walked to my room , put my things nad went to freshen up.

Few minutes later

I went towards the dining table and saw that mom had made all my favourite food.It was so mouth watering.My mom served me and I was about to have it when I heard the front door of our house opened with a bang. My father entered the house fully drunk.I got scared seeing his state.He has never returned home like this.

Dad:What is this boy doing here?Wasnt he supposed to be out of this house?

Mom:He came today only..He will go back after somedays please

Dad:No why is he here?I will not leave him today I will kill him today

Saying so he aimed the bottle towards me and threw it.I got hit by it and blood started flowing from my forehead.I was looking towards him with horrer.I didnt care about my wound. Momcame towards to me and started panicing.I pushed her away and made my way towards him.ilooked into his eyes and asked him,Am I your son?.Listening to my question he started laughing like a mad person.But without replying he went upstrairs.I kept stranding there till dizziness started engulfing me and I feel into darkness.

I woke up in my room.I tried to recollect the thing happened and a shiver ran down my spine.I got up from my bed and walked out the room.The house was unexpectedly too silent. As if indicating the Silence before the storm.I walked out of my room to go and check on mom.I dont know why but I was having a feeling that something very bad is going to happen.I tried to shake those feeling off my mind and moved on.On reaching her room I saw it was closed.On knocking it I realised it was open I slowly opened it to see the most horrifing scene in front of me.Mom was hagging from the celing fan.I got terified and couldnt react to it.I went towards her and tried to do all possible thing to save her.But no she was gone far away from me.I saw a paper on the bed-side table.It was a lettle I understood but I had no time to read it.I tried calling dad but he seemed to have vanished all of a sudden.I cried but she didnt respond.Suddenly everything blacked out and before closing my eyes I saw my mothers face.

*FLASHBACK OVER*(Of Sanskars past)

Hearing to his past made the tear run down my eyes.He was also crying silently.I just turned his face towards me and kept staring at him.

I(weeping):So much happened in my absence and noone was there with you

Sanskar(chocking voice):Everyone leaves me in the middle Shona. First you went then mom left me and now I have no idea where my father is.I am always left alone. Why am I so unlucky? Why??(and started crying)

I:Sshh.. sshh.. SankySanky look at me. See you are not unlucky.You got me back after so many years right. See you are not unlucky.

He slowly nodded his head. I couldnt see him like that.He looked so vulnerable.I cant see him like this.I slowly pulled his face toards me and kissed his forehead lovingly. I dont know why I did that but I just wanted him to be normal.I know how it feels when your mother leaves you alone in this world.Yes you all heard it right My mom also died when I was just a 3 year kid. But my father was there with me all the time supported me and treated me like a princess

*FLASHBACK OVER*

Princess. oh what a great sarcastic word in my life.My father, whom I considered as my hero, would turn up to be the devil of my life, I never knew. Thinking about my past a lone tear escaped from my eyes.

Suddenly I felt Sanskar moving beside me.

Sanskar(sweating):No. No mom.. mom where are you mom? No you cant leave me.. I would be alone again. MOM..(shouted and got up) Mom. Mom.

I: Sanky Sanky.. look at me look at me Sanky(shouting and turned his face towards me) You are not alone. I am there with you Understand I am there with you Right??

He slowly nodded his head like an innocent child.I kissed his forehead and hugged him to calm him down.

After about 10 mins he was calm.He broke the hug and smiled at me. But I could easily understand his tiredness.

Sanskar(smiling):Thanks Shona

I(smirking):I guess someone is forgetting the rules this time.

Sanskar:Okay sorry..

I(dramatically):Hey Bhagwan yeh kya ho raha hai yaha.Har koi apna baat bhul jaraha hai.(Hey God whats happening here.Everyone is forgetting their words it seems.)

Sanskar:Drama queen.

I grinned at him and he laughed whole heartedly. Thats what I wanted

Sanskar:Now stop all these thing.I am going out and I am sure by now Jenny and Jenifer aunty would have come. I am sending them here to help you out with your works. Okay?

I(smiling):Jenny and Jenifer aunty are coming?? Wow its great..Thank you so much

Saying so I hugged him out of excitement.I felt his body stiffening.I understood my mistake and as backing out when his arms wound around me.I felt solace in it.I felt him kissing on my hair.I smiled.We broke the hug and he smiled at me and went out. I mentally prepared myself for my upcoming concert for tonight.