Three

I walked into class during rush hour, which was two minutes before the second bell would ring. In the chaos that was the task of getting to class, no one had bothered to spend much time looking at me. The whispers and glances were minimal as I turned up at my second period class but even so, my head was down and my walk was brisk.

I began to walk towards my seat and saw Drew, sitting in the seat in front of mine. Her big, blue eyes looked up and caught mine. Unlike the night before, I pulled away immediately. I didn't look back at her as I walked to my desk and sat down. I didn't look up when she glanced behind her to get my attention. I just stared at my desk, my eyes tracing the indents and the signatures made with a faded ball-point pen.

Drew finally turned away and I let out a long breath of relief, my body slowly letting go of some tension. If anyone was looking or talking about me, I didn't know. My hand moved on its own accord, jotting down the notes on the board as information was sucked through one ear and poured out the other.

Halfway through the class, I slowly looked up from my sheet of paper. No one was looking at me. In fact, everyone was so focused on the class that no one was bothering with me at all. Relief didn't course through me but a sad glimmer of hope spread across me.

Perhaps this was as bad as it would get.

Maybe the video was all it would ever be; a video. Something that is spun around school for a little while and then forgotten the next week. People would forget. I was sure of it. Something else would happen to replace my mistake. Someone else would do something worse and my mistakes would no longer be the only exhibition on display.

I relaxed a little, letting my pen drop to the table and I looked at the red indents on my fingers from my tight grip. I winced and rubbed at the sensitive skin gently. Glancing at the back of Drew's head, I sighed. I could do this. It was just a video and it would all blow over soon. Everyone would forget anything even happened within a few weeks. I just had to get through this phase of it right now.

I looked down as my phone vibrated lightly on top of the desk. I picked it up and unlocked my phone, staring at the message. Within a second, my heart dropped and my stomach felt like it was in my throat. Panic consumed me.

Why did you even bother coming to school today? You're so stupid and ugly. That video is disgusting...

The rest of the words in the message blurred on the screen. I looked at the contact number but I didn't know who it was. A line of numbers glared back at me, each one as mocking and cutting as the words they sent. I read over the message once, then twice before I came out of the app and placed my phone into my pocket. It sat there, a heavy presence in the room.

I looked around at everyone. All their phones were out, sitting on their desks, some on and some off. It could be any of them. Someone in the room could have sent that message. They could be staring at me right now, typing out another one and another one and another one...

I didn't realize I had stood up until nearly everyone's eyes were on me. I placed my hand over my phone in my pocket and caught my teacher's eye, pointing to the door.

"Bathroom," I said and he nodded.

I stumbled my way past people's chairs and opened the door as quickly as I could. Leaving the door wide open, I rushed down the hallway, my heart constricting painfully. My phone didn't vibrate again but I was waiting, my breath held in and my eyes stinging. The bathroom door stared back at me from the end of the hallway and I sped up, not slowing down or looking at anyone until I was through the door and stood in the middle of the bathroom, my reflection looking back at me through the mirror.

I gripped the hem of my sweater until I tensed too hard and my nails slipped, digging into the palm of my hand. The panic wasn't going away. It was just one message, and I tried to tell this to myself over and over again. But they were empty reassurances. It didn't matter if it was one message or fifty – it didn't stop the fact that someone was out there, sending them. It didn't stop the fact that someone was going to constantly remind me of the video, even when everyone else eventually moved on.

I sucked in a deep breath, slowly pulling my nails out of my stinging palm. My eyes watered and I cursed under my breath, blinking rapidly as I willed them to stop. It was just one message, I told myself again, only one. One message couldn't do any harm. I took my phone out of my pocket and stared down at the blank screen. That wasn't true. Even one message could do enough harm.

The door to the previously empty bathrooms opened and I patted away the wetness from my cheeks. I didn't look over to see who entered until they came behind me and I could see them through the mirror. Becca, an old friend from middle school, looked back at me in surprise.

"Hey," she said, a smile tugging at her lips. "It's been a while."

I nodded. "Yeah, it's been quite a long time. How are you?"

I turned to face her and Becca tilted her head from side to side. "Not too bad. How are you? I mean...all things considered."

"Right, of course you've seen the video," I muttered.

"Sorry," Becca said quickly, taking a step forward. "I didn't mean to – uh – sorry."

"It's okay," I grimaced. "Not my finest moment."

Becca shrugged. "It's not that bad, honestly."

I glanced up at her. "Really?"

"Well, yeah. To be fair, I'm not sure why people are going crazy over it. There are plenty of openly gay people at school."

"Only one girl," I deadpanned. "And I kissed her."

Becca sighed, but an amused glint was in her eye. "Ever the pessimist."

"Have to keep my reputation up," I said.

"Are you actually okay though?" Becca asked. "No one's giving you too much of a hard time, right?"

"No I...well, I mean, not face to face," I admitted.

Becca frowned. "What do you mean? Are people posting things or something?"

I shook my head and lifted my phone up. "Just a message."

"A message? From who?"

I slipped my phone into my pocket. "I don't know," I said weakly. "It wasn't a number I recognized."

"What did it say?" Becca asked.

"What do you think?" I snapped. "It was obviously about me kissing a girl, wasn't it?"

Becca looked down and wrung her hands together. "Sorry, I shouldn't have asked."

I sighed. "No, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have snapped I'm just..." I put a hand over my face when my head began to spike with pain and my eyes watered. "I just don't know what to do. Everyone is talking about me and now this message comes out of nowhere and I'm scared. I'm scared because I can't do anything but just watch it happen."

I heard Becca walk closer until her hand was resting on my back, rubbing hesitantly.

"I know we haven't exactly been friends for a while," Becca started. "But I'm sorry you're going through this."

I nodded as a tear slipped down my cheek. "I'm being weak, it's my fault."

"You're being human," Becca corrected softly. "This can't be easy."

I shook my head. "It isn't. God, it really isn't."

"Ignore the message, okay?" Becca said. "Delete it if you have to. Just forget about it."

I lifted my head up and wiped gently at my eyes. Becca moved her hand and pushed a heap of brown curls out of her face. I just had to ignore the message. Like the video, the message would eventually fade and soon I wouldn't even need to worry about it. People would stop bringing it up. People would stop looking. Everything would just stop. I dragged in a shaky breath.

"Everything will be okay, Winona," Becca said quietly.

I nodded silently and rubbed my arm, not looking back at the mirror behind me.

"It will be okay," I agreed. "It will be okay."

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Hope you enjoyed the third chapter of Winona! As always, leave your thoughts in the comments!

- Tahlie x