Ava hung up the phone and ran quickly to the door, opening it before Jacey broke through with her bare fist.

"Seriously woman. What took you so long to get the damn door?" Her voice teasing.

"I was on the phone. Sorry about that." She let her friend in and closed the door, locking it afterwards.

"Oh, with who?" Jacey didn't know about Harry and Ava's growing friendship. It wasn't because Ava was hiding it from her friend. In fact, it was because the conversation never came up. They were open about everything else in life except friendships. There was no story behind it or anything. It was just the way that they were.

"Harry, actually" Jacey furrowed her brows together trying to pinpoint who Harry was.

"Rose's cousin?" Her voice suddenly getting high pitched, as she recalled the curly hair hunk from their night at The Lounge.

"That's the one." Ava's cheeks were slowly heating up as her friend gave her a wide eyed expression.

"Av, you haven't gone out with a guy in years. Why didn't you tell me you were dating Harry? He is a complete and total stud." The heat that was making its way to Ava's cheeks burned brightly as her friend made assumptions of her non-existent love life.

"No! It's not like that. It's not like that at all. We are only friends." She rattled off quickly, hoping her friend would drop the subject.

"Then explain to me why your face looks like a ripen tomato. If you were only friends then you wouldn't be blushing like that." She had a point and Ava knew that. However she wouldn't admit it.

"We are only friends. We've hung out and talked since that night we went out. But he - we, have made it clear that we are only friends. No intentions of it turning into anything more. Besides, he doesn't do love."

"What the heck does that mean?"

"It means what it means!"

"Nobody doesn't just do love. Love is inevitable, whether you admit it or not." Ava knew that her friend had a point, but there was no use trying to explain Harry's twisted views on love and relationships.

"I know that and you know that, but Harry - he has his own opinions on love."

"Are you interested in him?"

That was a question that Ava found herself wondering every day since their outing to the book fair. Before she knew in her heart that she was not, nor did she think she ever would be, ready to open up herself to love another being. Since her last serious relationship and then her parents death, she was not ready to love again. But since Harry came around she couldn't help but feel her heart's longing for companionship. Wasn't it every heart's desire to love? Apparently every heart except Harrys.

"I don't know." She answered her friend honestly. She really didn't know how she felt about Harry. They were friends, he made that clear. He was also the only friend that she made freely since her friendship with Jacey.

"The fact that you are so open to even having a new friend is a big step in itself."

"Do you think?"

Jacey looked at her friend, eyes full of concern. Over the years, she had witnessed her best friend go through the motions. It was as if her walls had slowly become solidified with concrete. It was clear to her that Ava was heart broken from her past. All she wanted was for her friend to let love in. She wanted the bone crushing pain that her past inflicted to disembark. She knew that this was something that would now happen overnight. However, it was something that she wanted to desperately to occur for her friend - no matter how long of a wait it may be. 

"I do, Ava. I really do."

There was a moment of silence between the two girls, both deep in thought. Ava did not realize that her walls were clear for all to see. It had become a part of her. So much so that she didn't realize that those that were around her were beginning to notice. Not even notice but even worry. 

"He's a good guy." It was true. Harry seemed to be almost heaven sent. His heart was pure and genuine, not like many of the other guys that Ava has had the unfortunate displeasure of coming into contact with. It was clear that he too carried baggage, but didn't everyone? Ava has only seen a snippet of Harry's unpleasant side, but it was so small that she hasn't dwelled on it. She knew that she had caused his sudden outburst, but he was so quick with an apology that it didn't alter any remaining opinion that she had of him. 

"Should we start the movie?" 

"Yeah. I'll get some plates. Did you remember to get an extra batch of Mrs. Lee's steamed buns? She honestly has a way with baking." Jacey rolled her eyes at her best friend. 

"You only texted me about fifteen times to remember." She playfully nudged Ava, causing her to break out into a fit of giggles. 

"Hey! To my defense, they were voted the best in the city. You have to get there fast or you will miss out on the fresh ones." 

It was moments like these that Ava was truly thankful. When her mother passed away, she had been lost and unsure with what her life would look like. She struggled with the thought of spending the holidays alone. She knew that if she did not have a friend like Jacey in her life, these moments would be a lot lonelier. 

Meanwhile on the other side of the city, a heated debate was taking place. 

"Harry, don't be a dimwit. The Muppet Christmas Carol is not the best rendition."

"You're kidding me right? It's a complete childhood classic."

Rose looked at her cousin with disbelief. "Alastair Sim is what made me love Scrooge in the first place. Besides, it's more authentic! They actually have British accents in this one, not like your excuse of a movie."

"You're so stubborn, you know that? You are just like Ava." Harry quickly caught his slip. He knew his cousin and her inquisitive nature. If he didn't change the topic quick she would think up of a million and one questions, neither of which he wanted to answer. (Or felt the need to answer). 

"Did you order the food yet? If we don't soon, Mrs. Lee's steamed buns will run out. You need to get there quick or the fresh ones will be gone." That was something that Ava had told him during one of their restaurant hopping adventures. He wasn't one for steamed buns, but Ava - and Mrs. Lee, convinced him otherwise. 

"Harry - do you and Ava talk often?" 

This was what he had been trying to avoid. The start of twenty-one questions. 

"Yes." His answer was short, not wanting to go into any more detail. But Rose did not seem to quite catch on to that. 

"Harry, we are cousins. I'd even like to say that I am probably your best friend, maybe even your only best friend. I know when you are hiding something from me. What is going on with you and Ava?"

"We are friends. That's it. Nothing more, nothing less. God, can't two people be friends without it looking like anything more?" He knew that he had sounded harsher than he intended, but he wasn't going to apologize.

"I didn't imply that you two were anything other than friends. I've just haven't seen you hang out with anyone other than Tim and I in ages." Tim was Harry's only other friend. He lived back in England and they rarely saw one another. Thankfully with the help of technology they would text and video chat whenever the other was free.

"She's nice. We get along. End of story."

"Harry. I'm glad that you are making another friend. I've been worried about you ever since-"

"Don't."

"I'm just saying, Harry. Ever since Delaine's death you have fallen into this black hole. I haven't seen you smile a real, genuine smile since before that. I know that it's hard for you, but-"

"Stop it Rose. I mean it. Drop this conversation." His voice slowly growing with anger.

"Hear me out, okay? You need to let her go. She's gone. You need to stop holding yourself back from experiencing happiness again. You are living in one of the most gorgeous cities in the world while working at an amazing publishing house. It wouldn't hurt you to make a new friend or two. Maybe even go on a date. Ava is a nice girl. Maybe ask her out?"

Harry had enough of his cousin's long winded rant on the pitiful mess that he called his life.. He knew that he looked unhappy. Hell, he knew in his heart he wasn't truly happy. Not since Delaine's death. But he wasn't ready to move on and date anyone else. In fact, he wasn't sure if he would ever date anyone else. He said it before and he would say it again, love only brings pain and sorrow. He did not want to put himself into another situation where his heart could potentially break again. Actually no, not potentially. He knew that it would get hurt again. He had seen it many times before. Love only brought hurt. 

"That's enough Rose. I'm done with this conversation." 

"But Harry-"

"No! This is over. We are no longer going to discuss my life. Got it? Now order that damn Chinese food."  With that he left his cousin, mouth agape at the harshness of his tone, and made his way over to his bedroom. 

Taking in a deep breath he felt the saltiness of fresh tears hit the corners of chapped lips. Stinging ever so slightly he quickly wiped them away, his calluses scratching the tender skin just below his now bloodshot eyes. He pulled out a leather clasped journal from the creaking side table beside his bed. It had been a while since his fingers felt its crinkling papers. His worn out fingers slowly danced over the words that graced the stained pages of the worn out journal. 

Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same. 
Dearest Harry, 
Day 421. It has been 421 days since I have met you. I still cannot believe that we are together. Each day I thank my lucky stars that you and I found one another. 
Harry, I know that you know that I am not good. I never was and I never will be. Yet you still love me the same. That is why I have been writing you this journal, so that if something were to ever happen to me you would know how much I love and care for you. 
You are my best friend. My rock. I don't think I would be who I am right now if it wasn't for you. You are good and I am bad, yet we still work. It's cliche but I don't care. 
You have always known that what I did before I met you wasn't good. Selling drugs and prostituting myself to make ends meet isn't exactly the best way to live a life. You found me when I was at my wits end and you saved me from myself. However, my past has been haunting me. 
There are people that are after me. I don't want to tell you face to face because I know that it would worry you and that is the last thing that I want to do. You have done so much for me.  I do not want to repay you by causing you to worry. But in case something does ever happen to me, I want you to never sit back and feel guilty. As much as you tried to save me (and you did succeed in many cases), there will come a day when it will be too late. And if that day were to come, I don't want you to sit back and pine for me. I want you to move on. I want you to find someone who could equally love you as much as I have loved you. If anything, I want you to find someone who can love you more than I have. Please Harry. For me. 
And if nothing were to ever happen to me, I will thank my lucky stars for saving me from my past and especially for letting me spend the rest of my life with you. 
I love you, Harry Styles. 
Forever yours,
Delaine 

The tears that he tried so hard to fight back began to pour over the already tear stained pages below him. He knew that she would want him to move on, but he could not allow himself to do so. Not yet at least. 

Ava had come out of nowhere and was slowly making her way into the crevices of his heart. Yet he was not ready to let the butterfly feeling deep in his soul determine if he was ready to love again. If there was a day that he would indeed love, he knew deep down that Ava would be his first choice. But that would mean vulnerability and a risk that he, right now, was not ready to make. Yet for the time being, he would enjoy the little moments with his new found friend. 

Maybe Rose was right. Maybe he did need to move on. 

And maybe Jacey was right. Maybe Ava did need to let her walls come down. 

But for right now, Harry and Ava both knew that today was Christmas and that they would leave that for another time. Because right now they were to enjoy the modern classic that is A Christmas Story while taking in the sweet tastings of Mrs. Lee's famous steamed buns.