This is not happening.

This can't be happening.

I had no idea how long I was standing rooted to one spot. Time was frozen, just like Astrid. Just like my dad. Just like Thornado. Just like Stormfly. I thought it was difficult to pry my eyes away from Fishlegs when he froze, but taking my attention away from Astrid was impossible.

She had stopped moving after I got her on her side. As if to add insult to injury, she was staring in my direction, like it was a reminder of what I caused. Her eyes were what burned into my mind the most. Even if time faded everything, I knew I'd still be able to picture her eyes, hollow, unfocused and unmoving.

I wondered what would happen next. I had to take care of Astrid and somehow get these dragons out of Berk. Whatever the outcome, I knew one thing for certain – I was responsible for what happened to Astrid. I dragged her along, hoping to find a trace of the Speed Stingers. Maybe through serendipity, I'd figure out how to get them away from Berk. But instead, I returned with a petrified Astrid and nothing else to show for it.

Gods, why did I have to be so stupid? Why didn't I just do something that might've actually helped Berk, like helping Gobber look after frozen Vikings in the great hall? Why did I have to choose something that would make me look like a hero?

Going to look for the Speed Stingers in the dark was suicide. Even Toothless knew that, and he tried to warn me about it. But I waited too long, and by then, Astrid was already in trouble.

A gentle nudge on my right side shoved me out of my reverie. My staring contest with Astrid was broken as I stumbled to my left with a sharp gasp. After a couple panicked steps, I regained my balance and glanced at what had pushed me.

Toothless was sitting on all fours with a hunched posture. He had his head down and was looking up at me. He gave a soft moan. It had a plaintive tone, like he was ashamed of what happened to Astrid and was apologizing to me for it.

Toothless didn't need to be this selfless. He tried to protect me and Astrid out there on the coast. He stayed with us even though he knew it was foolhardy to be out there. He brought us back home. If anything, I should have been the one apologizing to him. I could have avoided all of what happened in the last few minutes by heading back home from the great hall.

"Hiccup," a voice said. Whoever it was, it sounded like he was a mile away.

I didn't respond.

"Look at me, Hiccup," the voice said.

It sounded like Gobber. I didn't turn toward him, only keeping my focus on Toothless. Haltingly, I stepped toward him.

Toothless kept the same expression without moving. As I approached him, I didn't even offer my hand to him. I was about two feet away when I finally heard him breathing.

I wrapped my arms around his neck and rocked forward. Toothless whuffed as he held onto my weight. Tears escaped my eyes as I buried my face into the side of his neck.

Toothless, I'm sorry, I thought. I tried to say it but couldn't form the words.

"Hiccup," Gobber tried again. I ignored him and continued holding onto Toothless.

Gobber sighed and tried anyway. "I know you're trying your best."

Slowly, I pulled away from Toothless. "Best? Like I'm gonna get some award for letting everyone in Berk die? But it's okay because I tried my best." I slurred those last four words, mocking Gobber.

"Hiccup," he said with a deep breath. "Just listen."

I kept my mouth shut, unable to muster the energy to counter every little thing Gobber said to me.

"Forget about being Chief for a moment," he said. "People will take care of themselves. We've moved everyone who's paralyzed somewhere safe. But how do you think you can get rid of these Speed Stingers?"

I sighed and resigned myself to playing his little game. "After making sure everyone is safe?" I asked, forgetting what he had told me only seconds ago.

"I said to forget about being Chief," Gobber repeated. "It's just you and Toothless. That's all you have to worry about. Now, how are you gonna get these dragons out of here?"

This is getting old, I thought.

You could ask that question a thousand different ways, but in the end, it was always the same question: How do I get the Speed Stingers out of Berk?

A few seconds of silence found their way between us. After a while, I slumped on the floor. I could stand and act like I was paying some attention to Gobber, or I could sit and think. But I couldn't stand and think at the current moment.

As I sat down, I felt a support at my back. Toothless was there. But I didn't feel protected this time because of my stupidity.

I sighed and looked at the floor. "I... I guess... somehow... get rid of the lead dragon," I said quietly after a long silence.

"All right," Gobber mused. "How?"

"Why does everyone assume I have all the answers!?" I shouted at him. "I don't know!"

"Hiccup, you don't need to know everything."

"No, obviously not," I said curtly, rising to my feet. "But if I knew how to get the lead dragon out of here, don't you think I would've already done it?"

Before either of us could say anything, Toothless grunted and snaked his way around to my front, putting himself between Gobber and me. He looked me in the eyes with an unwavering gaze, like he was telling me to stop before I lost my temper for the umpteenth time in the last two days.

It was everything I could do to keep from shoving Toothless away from myself. I was already mad enough at my inability to do anything right today, and Toothless' interruption just seemed like the perfect ending statement to my futility.

Toothless didn't give me a chance to do anything after he locked eyes with me. He closed his eyes and leaned forward slightly with a low rumble. He pressed his snout into my chest, placing his trust in me. Toothless trusted me not to hurt him, even though he knew I was a split-second away from snapping.

I wished I could forget about problems as easily as Toothless did. Or maybe he didn't forget about Astrid, my dad, Stormfly, or Thornado. Toothless was smart enough to be aware of them. Maybe he was telling me what was important to him. I was still able to move. He could still take care of me.

The alternating pat-clunk of Gobber's footsteps filled the house. After a few seconds, he sat down at our table and waited. As blunt and awkward as he typically was, he certainly showed a lot of grace tonight.

Most of the time, Gobber would have belittled me while I shouted at him. But now, I felt like a different Gobber was in the house with me. He was waiting for me to get my senses back. He was waiting like there was no hurry.

I shuffled backwards, toward the table where Gobber was sitting. Using the last tiny shred of self-control I had left, I placed my right hand on Toothless' snout. He opened his eyes and followed me as I sat down. My hand slid off his snout after a second because I felt like I had nothing left, except for Toothless.

I slumped in the chair from the weight of the world crashing onto my back and sighed. All I could think about was how embarrassingly bad of a job I had done as Chief in the last two days. That was all it took for Berk to spiral out of control.

Gobber broke his silence and announced, "All right, Hiccup. When I come back, I want two things from you." He paused. I kept my head down, but I was listening to him.

"Hiccup, are you going to look at me anytime soon?" he asked.

I slowly craned my neck, my eyes barely meeting his.

"I want you in a better mood, and I want a plan from you on how to get the lead Speed Stinger out of here." He paused with an expression like he was going to say something else. "And I don't care how crazy or dumb you think it is."

Without waiting for my consent, he turned, opened the door and walked out. The door closed behind him, and silence filled the house.

I sighed again as I turned my gaze back toward the floor between Toothless and me. He moaned quietly. To me, it seemed he was asking if I was all right.

Not anytime soon, I thought.

I had my elbows resting on my knees, and my hands were hanging freely in the air. I watched as Toothless pressed his head under my left hand. He pushed his way between my arms and stopped with his head inches away from my face. He gave that same moan again before rubbing his head into my chin.

"I know, bud," I said quietly to him. "I'm sorry too."

I held onto both sides of his head with my hands, centering his gaze on me.

"Can you help me?" I asked him. There were no more ideas I had on how to get the Speed Stingers out of Berk.

I wasn't sure what Toothless was suggesting because I couldn't speak Night Fury. He sat there for a moment, letting me hold onto him. Eventually, he sat back on his haunches and looked at me with a concerned expression on his face.

Maybe he was telling me not to worry so much. For a moment, I wondered if he thought everything would be okay. Or was he simply being hopelessly optimistic?

Either way, I couldn't take his stare anymore. I stood and shuffled over to my dad's bed, which wasn't too far away from the table and dragged a blanket back into the main living area of the house. I laid the blanket over Astrid to help her keep warm, avoiding looking at her eyes the entire time.

I glanced at the fire at the hearth. It was burning strongly, so Gobber had probably refreshed it within the last couple hours.

Looking around the house, I tried to find any other little tasks I could stay occupied with, but nothing caught my attention. For what it was worth, checking the fire and covering Astrid felt like they were the only ways I helped someone today.

I returned to Toothless and sat down on the floor near him, waiting for him to move. It didn't take long for Toothless to wrap his body loosely around my back with a low, quiet groan. I relaxed somewhat as I leaned against his side and closed my eyes.

I knew I didn't have anything that resembled a plan of action for the Speed Stingers, but I was too exhausted to think anymore. All I wanted to do was rest and watch over Astrid, Stormfly, my dad, and Thornado.

Toothless rumbled, his vibrations massaging my back. He was here, and he was saying he was going to take care of me. Most importantly, I felt protected.