Doodle

Friday morning. Exhausted as always. No motivation with the Friday morning class. There was time when I thought of giving up. I have never scolded students yet last week I had to.... more out of disappointment and despertation than out of anger or anything. And this morning, I had a happy time!!! (should scold them more often then!! ). They made me happy today with their attitude and at least I could see them trying. That's what matter. So this is an exhausted happy Friday morning.

Haven't written anything for quite some time. I have been ocupied, spending a lot of time for something unrealistic and uncertain. Yet if I didn't try, I would feel bad. So be it. Anyway, it was done yesterday, the best of my effort.... and if...., then the best of my effort would be just another bullshit in many other bullshit times I do this thing. Well, at least I have something to look forward to...not bad in that aspect.

Done with action plan 1. Now comes action plan 2: projects. April is a month of projects. OMG! I think I have becoming retarded after the Tet holiday and after writing all over again and again that stupid thing. No mood or mind for academics. But... what has to be done has to be done. I'm gonna be fine!

Suddenly want to be home. Maybe because I am too exhausted today. Miss Mom. And feel guilty because I can't help with anything. Sometimes I think I have been a waste of her efforts and expectations. My sister can do better I guess. Wish I knew how to be like that.... like her. Can't make mom feel I'm grown up and capable. My fault then. Or I am just not grown up and capable. Anyway, just want to be home now.

Anyway, I think I have been more balanced after that most important incident of my life. I have taken the routine of life with much more ease (well, the Saturday night routine is just a perfect routine for me ). Now I know what it really means, attachment. There're still many things to learn and I'll try my best. A thank for bringing me happiness!