It's still raining when we reach the front of my apartment. The lobby is lit up, a clear view inside from the sidewalk Sadie and I stand on.

"This is it," I tell her, presenting my apartment building. I watch her in both amusement and adoration as she tries to view the whole thing, top to bottom.

"I can't see it clearly because the rain keeps getting in my eyes." She blinks a few times before her gaze lowers and settles on mine. She looks like the most beautiful woman in the world right now. We had too many drinks. Or, she had too many drinks, but either way it was too many drinks.

I place my hands on her neck, feeling my heart rate skyrocket as she takes one step closer and our noses touch.

I'm attracted to you, I think. It sends laser beams through my stomach in the best way possible. It feels freeing to finally admit that yes – I like you – and the feeling is mutual.

"Can I kiss you?" I mutter without thinking, although it comes out naturally.

"Fucking do it," Sadie whispers, our lips already on the verge of touching.

I lean in and let it happen, her lips soft and warm against mine. It's so easy to get lost in what is happening – its like time has stopped. Somewhere between a few second and a few minutes in, we're backed against the building of my apartment.

"Take off your clothes," Sadie whispers breathlessly, her body pinned between the wall and myself. Her voice comes out frantic like this is a now or never situation, and it's definitely not.

"We're outside in plain view," I whisper back, finding her lips again immediately after.

"I want you to," she says firmly, twisting her fingers into the back of my hair, which makes me way more aroused than I should be on a public sidewalk.

"I told you I can't," I say once more, hearing the slight slur in my own words.

Sadie doesn't listen. She hikes one leg up and around my hips, pulling me closer by my shirt. "Please?"

I use my hand to support her thigh, closing any gap between us. I'm sure this would be exciting and thrilling to some people, but not me. "I think we should just go up to my apartment," I whisper against her lips. "Now."

Sadie haphazardly pulls her dress down and grabs my hand somewhere in the process. We're both breathing heavily and look like we rode a wet city bus all day when we enter the lobby.

On the elevator, her hands find their way to my shirt, trying to tug the fabric off once again. She does it out of nowhere, like a sneak attack.

"Sadie," I scold playfully, grabbing both of her hands in mine. She starts laughing, the same laugh that takes me back to our first day of work together.

"You're no fun," she whines, trying to break her hands free. I grip a bit harder.

"Do you really want to do this?" I hold our hands together inbetween us and tilt my head, trying to see if I can read what Sadie is really feeling. 

"Well, yes..." she looks at me blankly, blinking a few times, a bit of worry in her voice. I ignore it.

The elevator doors open and I drop one of her hands so I can lead us down the hallway. The walk to my apartment is quick, and somewhere inbetween the elevator and my door, Sadie starts hiccuping.

"This is it," I say quietly, fishing around in my pockets for my keys. I find them, and as I pull them out, the paper Astrid wrote her number on comes floating to the ground with a grace only present in scenes leading up to doom.

"What's that?" Sadie abruptly points out the paper that's now on the floor in front of my feet. Of course.

"Oh, nothing..." I reach down to pick it up, but Sadie's hand gets there first.

"It's a phone number," she says with disappointment, glancing up at me without moving another muscle in her body.

"It is," I say, rubbing the back of my neck.

"There are three hearts," she points out, glancing back at the paper again.

"What?" I say, furrowing my eyebrows.

Sadie turns her head in confusion, showing me the jagged piece of paper with Astrid's number. Below the digits are three small hearts.

"Oh yeah!" I quickly intercept, "that's someone I met at my new office building. They are taking pre-orders for hand made chocolate hearts for Valentine's day," I grab the paper from her, nodding surely. "When we get inside, we can toss it. They were overpriced but I didn't want to be rude."

"The number in jeans you didn't wear to your job interview?" Sadie asks, her eyebrow raised. Suddenly, she appears very sober, and my heart skips a beat.

"Yes," I reply, like everything about it makes sense. "I actually wanted to tell you about it."

To try to divert this situation even further, I slide the key into my doorknob and twist, pushing the door to the apartment open.

"Oh, wait," I tell Sadie as I catch a glimpse of the flowers on the kitchen counter. The perfect distraction.

I sneak inside and grab them, sticking them behind my back as I make my way back to the door. "I have something for you."

Sadie still has her eyebrow raised, and I don't blame her for being skeptical, but a faint smile traces her lips now.

I bring the flowers around from behind my back, watching Sadie's eyes go wide. The bouquet Carmen picked looks even more colorful and delicate the second time seeing it. A few pastel colored roses, zinnias, baby's breath, and green herbs are perfectly placed.

"Flowers? For me?" Sadie takes the arrangement from me and twirls it in her hands, studying it like a one hundred dollar bill.

I lean against the doorframe and nod, fighting the urge to kiss her again from the reaction alone. Just a small one, maybe on her cheek or her forehead. Instead, I just watch.

"I've never received flowers from a guy before," she says with her eyes still glued on the bouquet.

"What?" I blurt, "that can't be true."

Sadie gives me a small nod, like it's something that she doesn't want to actually admit. Still, her expression is thankful and soft as she gets on her tippy toes to kiss my cheek.

"I've only dated the kind of guys who don't usually give you flowers," she says with her lips still close to my skin.

"What are you trying to say?" I ask while looping my arms around her waist. Sadie closes the space between us again and rests her head in the crook of my neck.

"I'm just saying."

My mind starts to wander again. If there was an off button for thinking, I'd like to push it right about now. There's clearly a lot more to Sadie than I know. And a lot more to me she doesn't know.

"Shannon always called them bad boys," Sadie calmly adds.

I roll my eyes at the mention of Shannon, resting my cheek on top of Sadie's head. "What does Shannon call me?"

Sadie suddenly pulls away and places the flower stems between her legs, cupping my cheeks in the palms of her hands. She squishes them, kind of like my grandmother used to do. I laugh and push her arms away, giving her the best serious look I can.

"Shannon just calls you... Gabriel. And barely. She barely says your name or mentions you," Sadie tells me.

"Maybe I can give her a reason to start." I grab the flowers from between Sadie's legs, pushing my apartment door wide open. "Come inside. You need to sober up a lot before I send you off anywhere."

Sadie rolls her eyes, walking through the door like a puppy reluctant to go inside its kennel. But when she gets inside, she stops.

"This is it?" She asks, confused, turning a full circle to see everything there is to my apartment.

"Yes," I admit, moving away from the door so it latches shut on its own.

"So... cozy," she says after a moment, still looking around in amusement.

Cozy is a word my mother used often, and the undertone was always derogatory. It was code for small, poor, sad. The way she said it all the time replays in my head, bringing back foul memories.

I place the flowers back on the counter and turn my back to Sadie, reaching into my cabinet to grab a vase from the top shelf. While I'm filling it with water, Sadie takes her coat off and drapes it over her arm. She looks a bit uncomfortable, which is not the vibe I'm going for.

She plays with her fingers, glancing at the walls every few seconds. I get it – this is far from a palace, let alone an apartment, but what was she expecting? At least it's got four walls and a roof.

"Everything okay?" I ask as I arrange the flowers in the vase, glancing at her across from me. She swallows hard enough for me to see the lump travel down her throat.

She shakes her head "no," tears welling up in her eyes. I can sense something now, the feeling filling the air and space between us so quickly I might suffocate. Whatever momentum we had going minutes ago no longer exists.

Sadie's eyes meet mine but she doesn't speak.