Chapter 8

~Hunter~

       As I walked inside my home after my doctor's appointment, Dad looked over at me as he was getting some food ready to feed Ivy. "So how was the appointment?" he asked. "Is everything going okay?"

       "Yeah," I said, taking off my shoes. "As it turns out, it is the stress and the fatigue so I called Kevin to tell him. He's going to push back the due date for all my songs to be recorded so I can actually relax for once. He may really want me to record that song, but he actually does care about everyone's health."

       "Well, it's a good thing you found out what it was," Dad said. "Just take things easy, okay?"

       "I will," I said. "Now that I know exactly what's causing this increased heartbeat, I can try to handle it. Now I am going to head to the music room and work on my song."

       "Are you sure that's a good idea?" Dad asked. "You've been stressing over that song."

       "Dad, like I said, I can handle it," I said, heading to the music room.

       Especially because I knew it wasn't really the stress and fatigue causing my rapid heartbeats.

       I sat down at the piano in the music room, releasing a deep breath. I didn't even want to work on my new song. I didn't think I could right now. I had to work on a whole new song to try and shake the feelings I had inside of me.

       Shake the feelings I didn't even understand.

       Shake those words stuck in my mind since yesterday.

       I can't control who I fall in love with and it kills me every single damn day knowing that Hunter will only be my best friend.

       Hearing those words confused me so much but it also gave me a tiny sense of joy for reasons I didn't comprehend.

       Until Cannon came walking down those stairs and my heart began beating so much along with me feeling like I couldn't breathe. I couldn't believe I was actually admitting to this but...

       I really think I was in love with my best friend.

       It sounded crazy to me at first but then... It wasn't so crazy. Cannon was one of the few people to understand me and there were even times where I felt like he understood me more than my parents did. He also helped me through so much; with school when I was struggling because of my dyslexia, with my addiction, with my disease. He even tried going on a diet with me so I wouldn't feel left out because of the food I couldn't it.

       Granted, his diet only lasted thirty minutes but he still tried to be there for me. Everything that went wrong in my life, he was there.

       And as it turned out, it wasn't just because I was his best friend.

       I was more than that to him.

       And he was definitely more than that too me but I didn't think I could tell him. I could barely admit it to myself. Even when I was able to fully admit it, I didn't know if I would want to. Cannon was still my best friend and even if I felt something for him, I didn't know if I could risk it all.

       I really hoped I understood my feelings soon so I could figure out what to do.

       As much as I wanted to work on a new song to help sort out the mess in my head, I just started playing a random tune on the piano to help me relax a bit. Music was always something I could turn to.

       Someone walked into the music room so I stopped playing and looked up from the piano. Cue the rapid heart beating.

       "Hey," Cannon said. "Your dad told me about your doctor appointment. It's a good thing you were able to convince Kevin to push the due date back a bit."

       "Now if only I can convince him not to make me record that horrible song," I said. "I'm starting to think maybe I should just do it and get it over with."

       "What?" Cannon asked. "No, you can't do that. It won't be fair to you to sing a song you feel nothing about, especially when you've been working on that other one so hard. It's really good so far, and I think Kevin will be open to it."

       "Yeah, well, he isn't that easy to convince when it comes to the actual music part of our careers," I said. "Anyway, I'll deal with all of that later when I'm back at the recording studio. How are you feeling about yesterday?"

       "A bit better," Cannon said. "My mom called me not to long ago. She apologized on behalf of my dad for some of the things he said to me."

       "What did he say?" I stupidly asked, knowing Cannon wasn't going to tell me especially if he was talking about what I heard Cameron say to him.

       When will you understand that he just won't feel the same way?

       I really wanted to tell Cannon that his dad was wrong but I still couldn't bring myself to fully acknowledging the fact that I was very much in love with Cannon.

       Okay, I did fully acknowledge it but I still didn't fully understand it.

       "Just something stupid," Cannon said. "Anyway, my mom found an apartment to move into so I'm going to help her move in tomorrow. She asked if I would help and told me that she does want to spend more time with me. I might stay there for a night or two."

       "I think that would be good," I said. 

       "Yeah, it would," Cannon said. "I still hate what's going on but at least my mom is making the effort now to include me in all of this, even if helping her move isn't my ideal way of spending a Saturday."

       "Your ideal way is to pig out on ice cream, claiming that everyone should let you live your life the way you want to live it," I said.

      "Well, you're not wrong," Cannon said. "I'll just pig out on ice cream after I help my mom. Apart from all of that, I just wanted to let you know I won't be here for the next night or two so you're not freaking out because we all know you would cry if you weren't in my presence."

       "Oh, totally," I said. "I'm crying on the inside just thinking about it. How will I ever survive without you here?"

       Spoiler: I couldn't.

_______________

oof he admitted it.

and oof he really did overhear cannon arguing with his dad.

OOF.

it's almost 2 am lol. i ended up taking too long working on justin and lark but i really wanted a chapter of this to be posted so i started it after 1 am ahahahaha

i'm tired.