My mind was peaceful. Now I know the answer. The answer which had been haunting my memories. He was safe. Though my dream could not make me sure if he is still alive but I had a feeling that he is. A feeling in my gut said that he is still out there somewhere. But where? I needed to know. I needed to search for answers.

I was stuck here. My doctor was not allowing me to leave my bed, let alone go home. They had confined me to a single room with continuous music playing near my ears to distract me and well truly it was working. My mind just couldn't go back to the dreams I so desperately wanted to. I had a strong feeling that one more dream will clear everything and decide my fate. It will provide a lot of revelations. And it will change the course of my life forever.

I also wanted to know what my mother knew. Why was she so against him? What could have happened that had made her hate him to this extent? I wanted to know the answer of  every 'why' in my life...

Just one more dream...

A nurse came to my bedside with a syringe and an ampoule with some clear fluid in it. She without uttering a word, came and attempted to pierce the needle into my skin.

I drew back my hand in a jiffy. Snap! The IV needle got a sharp tug and I winced in pain. I bit  my lips, tears threatening to spill. Why did I have to suffer so much? But in spite of all the suffering, I will not let others just meddle with me without my consent.

"I demand to know what medication I am being administered," I said. She looked shocked and at a loss for explanations.

"They are sedatives," the voice of my doctor broke the silence in my room, "I figured there is only one way to prevent all these triggers. The more you see the more you will remember. So it's better to keep you sedated for a few days till your nerves get time to heal and get over the shock."

"But...," I tried to reason.

"You know," there was sincerity and concern in his voice," You fell down today. You could have had concussions and internal haemorrhage. You can lose your memory even. It is very dangerous."

I kept quiet. I actually had nothing else to do. I felt so irritated and angered. It was as if everyone was pushing me around. It was as if my opinion ceased to matter anymore. Sedatives! It was so depressing a thought that I didn't feel like protesting anymore. I surrendered myself to fate. Let them do whatever they like. I had lost the will to live.

But suddenly something struck me. Maybe the sedation could bring back the dreams. Maybe finally I will get to know what truly happened at the end. That was something. I could see a hope of light in a sea of depression.

I stopped resisting as the nurse broke the ampoule of Lorazepam and all I could remember was a sharp prick followed by a sensation of calmness and numbness. And my world dissolved again....

I am standing outside the frosted glass windows of the ICU. Pressing my nose to the glass I try to look inside. There he is lying on the bed moving weakly. The nurse caring for him is desperately trying to attract his attention but he doesn't look anywhere else. His gaze is fixed to the ceiling. Time and again he is looking at the door, waiting for someone. And that some one is me. It has been over a week he is in hospital but I never wen to meet him.

I just can't move a leg to go into the room. My heart is pounding and I feel dizzy. But I have steeled my resolve. I have to do it. I have to leave him to keep him safe.

My heart knows that if he gets to know the truth, he will never allow me to leave. He will put his own logic to prevent me from feeling guilty. He will definitely blame himself, try to counsel me and say it is no fault of mine. He will bind me to himself more by his words and then...

I just can't think what will happen then. Jason may do anything and I can't bear to let him suffer for one more time. I would give him away. That is love. Love pains. Love breaks. Love destroys.

I have to make him believe that I don't love him anymore. Only then will he let me go. I have to break his heart as well as mine. Can I do it? For him? I have to make him feel that I am betraying him.

He is recovering and stable as doctors have reported. God has answered my prayers. He is finally out of danger but still in pain. I was going to cause him more pain. I am a monster. But I pray that his physical pain makes him forget the mental pain. He deserves better and someday he will find someone who will love him as much as I do.

I took his heart and am leaving  it torn. The feeling of emptiness is back in me. I remember all the happy and sad memories related to him...in between the memories a song floats in the air, a song we used to sing together, a song which meant the world to us.

It's so rare to find,
A friend like you,
Somehow when you're around,
The sky's always blue.

The way we talk,
The things you say,
The way you make
It all okay.
And how you know,
All of my jokes,
But you laugh,
Anyway...

If I could wish for one thing,
I take the smile that you bring,
Wherever you go in this world,
I come along.

My mind is peaceful again. I am going to break my promise to him. I don't know how. But I know I have to. I feel like I will collapse and never rise again.

I silently come and stand at the door of the ICU. Immediately his attention is drawn to me and his eyes rest on mine. I feel the familiar desire and longing raging through me, tearing my heart into thousand pieces.

He gives a pained smile to me. I move towards him like a machine. To break his heart. To leave him for good. But to love him for ever after...

A/N This is again an update friends. I may not be able to update so fast in the coming days. But I promise I will be back for you all whenever you need me.

So if you like this story please vote and give me feedback or try to guess where this story goes. I am well past 8K I guess.

Thanks MaryFahey for helping me through this.

Thanks Pipigrin teamhathaway nana_gn for all the love and care. Thanks to mystery for this awesome opportunity to write...😍❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤