Eli didn't let me go the whole ride up and into the secluded mountainside. Casting looks of love at me every second he got, peppering me with questions. 'When did you know?' And 'how many weeks?' And 'how did you know?' I let him know as much as I could manage.

"Five weeks along?" He gasped.

"I think," I corrected, "I guess we'll have to find out soon,"

There was a few times where Eli almost drove off the road. His mind in the clouds.

A certain layer of seriousness overcame the atmosphere the closer we got to the community. Eli informed me that we'd both need to attend a debriefing with the elders. The seriousness of his tone sent a stab of worry running through me. He concluded that we'd be alright and gave me a grin, returning to his cheery excitement.

The elders. A stab of worry and foreboding ran through my chest. What would that mean?

"We're incredibly disappointed at your conduct,"

We stood in the centre of a room. The Elders was not the stereotypical, horror show that I was expecting. Instead, it was a healthy mix of men and women of all ages. The setting was relaxed, furs and a stunning wooden structure lit by a skylight and warmed by a central hearth. It was the kind of thing I expected out of a viking village not an apocalypse cult of somewhat religious people with highly advanced technology.

"I understand," Eli spoke gravely.

"I think it would be in everyone's best interest for Marian not to leave unless absolutely necessary. Especially in the following months. She'll draw international attention, which would be harder to contain," A woman with dark, blonde hair spoke. Her eyes were a subtle green but her face was stern.

Eli bowed, "Of course, we must always take steps to ensure the safety of the community. Marian and I understand that,"

I gave a serious nod. The following months? What?

"Luckily, all events and reports have been shut down but video footage of the two of you has emerged, complicating the issue even further. Soon enough, we might have a federal taskforce on us,"

I bit my lip from speaking sarcastically. 'Well just let me go then and you wont have an issue'. Instead, I opted for a complacent nod and a look of regret.

"I apologise for my conduct and haste," Eli spoke very seriously. There was an overall sense of satisfaction that passed throughout the elders and we were dismissed.

"Oh my goodness," I sighed, "I thought I was going to get blasted from my spot,"

Eli chuckled, "Yeah, it sometimes feels like that,"

The two of us walked quietly, brushing shoulders. It'd been an eventful day to say the least and the sun was setting over the crest of the mountainside. Eli enveloped me in a hug. The warmth in the snowfall around us. For a second we paused, my face buried into his jacket and his arms wrapped around me in a shield.

Especially in the following months. And then it dawned on me. My plan was absolutely and utterly screwed.

Tears began to leak out of my eyes and I began to sniffle. I thought of the car door, the supermarket, even in the cafe. So many opportunities to escape... 

Yet I didn't. I second guessed myself and overthought every action. I'm such an idiot. And now I am stuck here, unable to leave for the next few months.

It could be a year before I was allowed to leave the community limits. By then I'd have a kid, I'd be vulnerable to bribery and blackmail.

I'd have a kid.

Why did a child have to be brought into this? If I'd been able to escape, that'd be fine but a kid?

I continued to cry, my tears releasing into heavy sobs.

"Hey," Eli spoke gently, petting my hair, and then drawing my chin upwards, "are you okay?"

"I'm pregnant," I whispered, crestfallen. Eli seemed a little hurt by my tone, "I-I'm not ready for this. I-I didn't expect that this would happen, you did this you asshole," I shoved him away angrily, crossing my arms over my chest. It was still cold and my legs were almost numb.

Eli laughed, finding the whole situation hilarious. I shot him a glare and he raised his hands in a shrug, "Sorry about that,"

"You suck," I spat, kicking at the snow drift on the sidewalk. My resolve crumbled and I sunk to the icy ground, "I-I'm just not ready, I can't. I can't do this, I don't know how,"

"Hey," Eli rushed forwards, kneeling in front of me, my face in his hands, "hey, it's okay, you've got me. You're not alone in this. Whatever you're struggling with, I'm by your side, okay?"

"Okay," I breathed, the tears freezing on my cheeks.

"Now," Eli spoke with a slight edge of seriousness to his tone, "I didn't expect to do it like this, but, Marian, would you let me be by your side?"

Oh no.

From his back pocket, down on one knee he produced a ring. Me, sitting as a mess in the snow, gaped and looked up to him.

"Are you serious?"

Eli laughed, "Yes, I am a hundred percent serious. I promise,"

I looked at the ring and then back up at him. A lump forming in my throat, I managed a nod. Well, what else could I do? "Yeah," I whispered. "Yes,"

Eli grinned, slipping on the ring. Once he'd helped me up to stand, he picked my up and spun me around, planting a firm kiss on my lips.

Life began to move quickly after that. 

It was mostly fulfilled with taking up new work. My training had recommended that I go into nursing and motherhood. Eli believed that was because of the recent 'event'. He'd kissed my head, "Don't worry, you'll be able to join me soon,"

I worked hard to prepare for the months ahead. If there was no opportunity for me to escape til then, I needed to work on my situation at the current time. While Eli spent as much time at home as possible, he also needed to provide for our future together. I spent my days looking after other people's kids in exchange for food, materials, paper and other weird oddities. Usually six hours of my time was exchanged for a cup of honey, some string, materials and fish jerky. It was an odd system and a pain to work out but it was eventful nonetheless.

Jane had her wedding on the following Saturday after we returned home. It was a large and extravagant event, held in the town square. Almost everyone in the town was invited. The ceremony took place just before sunset and the party went well into the night. Lots of drinking and dancing and fun. I let myself have a sip of wine, it was my first time and I instantly spluttered at the dry taste. Wait, i'm not supposed to do that anyway.

Jane's newfound husband was one of Eli's close friends so he often spent a lot of time around the newlywed couple. I did the same with Jane. We both found one another early in the night and lost ourselves in the fun.

According to Eli, his parents were funding and organising our own wedding. It was to be held on the following Sunday and what I guessed to mark the beginning of six weeks of pregnancy. I met Eli's parents the Monday after Jane's wedding.

"This is Louise," Eli gestured me to the women who took the centre of the room.

"Hello, we've been waiting for you," Louise, Eli's mother moved forwards. With a start, I realised that she was the green-eyed woman from the elders meeting that we'd had last week.

"Hi," I managed a diplomatic smile, soon enough we were sitting and chatting. Eli left some, thirty minutes in. Aside from our initially, frosty meeting we clicked very quickly. She had a stern humour that reminded me of my mother so much that it'd made my chest hurt.

She introduced me to the traditions of the wedding; the late-afternoon ceremonies, the vows, the decorations and food. She wished for it to be an incredibly extravagant event in the centre of the town square. I managed to convince her to pulling it down to a guest list of a few hundred people.

"You've been working very hard," Louise spoke with a certain air of aloofness in her voice. I could instantly tell that she was fishing.

"Yes, we're probably going to be incredibly busy over the next few months," I sipped my tea.

"How so?" She inquired, searching through papers. Luckily, there was no hard decisions over the dress; it was supposed to be the Claiming ceremony one. Louise had offered her wedding cape; a stunning satin fabric in a pearly colour. It had accents of legitimate fur across the face and around the hands.

"I thought you knew," I stilled. 

Louise raised an eyebrow, "Know what?"

She already knew, in a way, I realised, she just wanted me to admit it. A part of me hissed.

Say it anyway, get them to love you.

I let it slowly slip out, "I'm pregnant. We found out last week,"

Louise's face twisted into one of joy. She could help but let out a clap. A flush of pride swelled within me. At least I could make other people happy. "That's amazing," She gushed.

"But you need to keep it a secret," I spoke very sternly, "none of that... before the wedding,"

Louise looked somewhat shattered but she gathered her resolve and nodded firmly. The rest of the day was spent hearing about baby stories, and tips that I was certain that I wouldn't use. We spent the rest of the week getting very close. Every morning, Eli and I would train. It was followed by me looking after the children of others. Then some of the girls and I would meet up at night or I'd go over to Louise's place to finalise details. Eli's parents probably had the best looking place around. As founding members, they had a stunning, two storey building with a twisting staircase and an unnecessary amount of spare rooms. A little part of me slowly realised why Eli had built on the other side of town. Why he spent most of his time running errands in the outside world rather than at home with his family.

Then it was the big day. Jane, Charlotte, Anjie, and the twins (Lou had not yet returned) were all my 'aides' for the day. We mostly hung out on the outskirts of town and talked about married life. Jane had made a return from her honeymoon for the day.

"Look at us, so serious," I laughed a flute of lemonade in my hand, acting as champagne, "guys I eighteen and I'm getting freaking married," I sighed, my head resting against the couch backing.

"Its not all that bad," Jane teased, giving me a nudge and a wink. There was an eruption of laughter throughout the group.

"In the outside world, you don't have to be married to get to that stage," I gave a wink back. The peals of laughter increased.

It wasn't until I was dressed and the cape on my shoulders did I realise what was happening. I stood alone in the room, contemplative before the ceremony.

I let a little part of me drift. 

I remembered at home, all the church girls trying to discern the guy that God had sent them. The pairings, the drama, the hushed whispers and sudden prayers. Deep down, I'd planned my wedding. It was to be set in the secluded forest of a friend's house. I didn't want to spend any money on it, except for maybe the videography and photography. It would be laden with fairy lights and a fantasy-esque feel; just like my parents. I'd wear a simple and stylish a-frame wedding dress and instead of a bouquet, I'd have a lantern. The colours would be of a blush pink, or maybe navy, or maybe forest green. It would depend on the season honestly.

My Dad would walk me down the aisle and I'd grin to my newfound husband. I know I'd definitely cry while saying our vows, and probably while I was walking down the aisle too. I'd look to my family and to my siblings as my bridesmaids and bridesmen. My vows would bare my soul before my husband. A proclamation before my witnesses in God. If appropriate, I would shout it from the rooftops. It would be a joyous, happy occasion. I would-.

I began to sob.

...

The walk was weightless down the aisle. I gave a small smile to Eli as the two of us joined hands in front of our witnesses. I spoke with a refrained truth. I didn't cry, I didn't crack, I got through it. 

To be true to Eli, to love him, to revere him as the leader of the household. Eli vowed as well; to protect me; the heart of the household, to love me, to revere me, to not let another defile me, to never turn his back on me or fall into infidelity. It was sweet and his words were honest. The world almost a million miles away. I smiled when we kissed for the first time.

The reception was a blur of well wishes, gifts and unnecessary conversation. I smiled where needed, laughed when called for, and did my best to maintain the facade of a joyous newlywed. 

I wished for the forests of where I dreamed of having my wedding. I wished for the godly man who'd guide me in a mission to grow together. I wished for this to be a wedding of two people who loved one another, not two people who were thrown in the same call. Every time my emotions rose, I had to throw them a little deeper into the well.

Inside, I was mourning for a different world.