"When you're gone"

15 November

[Aamir's P.O.V.]

"Aamir!" Her voice rang into my ears as I continued to search my wardrobe for my wallet. I was frustrated and I refused to answer her calls.

She marched in, hands on her hips. Looking beautiful.
"Deaf idiot!" She mutters and pushed me put of her way reaching out to our wardrobe.
Effortlessly discovering all the things I was working hard to get a glimpse of.

My anger vanished into thin air and immediately regretting my behaviour, keeping my hand on my heart and the other on my forehead i dramatically enact getting killed due to her anger.

Soon her laughter fills the surroundings bringing a little smile on my face as well. Slowly moving forward, she pulls me in for a warm hug.

Her embrace comforted me in a moment, I responded with equal fervor lifting her slender yet voluptuous figure in my arms.

The inanimate objects of our room seemed to enjoy as we continue to sway lightly , our eyes trying to find more about each other after all these years of marriage.

I woke up from the slumber after my alarm seriously butchered my wish , my brain's prayer and my heart's yearning, breaking my beautiful dream.

Dream , a beautiful manifestation of reality , our deep buried desires forming a marvelous illusion.
Maybe, to make us live the moments we often yearn to. Only to break it and bring us back to the cruel reality.

I looked around to find the empty side of the bed. The sun has risen but the sunrise of my life has refused to bestow me with its healing rays. My hands move on the empty space beside me, praying for her to be there.

It's been almost three months now. And there are many people who've given up and advise me to give up as well. They tell me to let her go. But I know I can't repeat the same mistake of letting go, again.

I never craved for someone's presence like this before.
It hurts. It pains every time I look around to see those distant memories decorated in the room we once called 'ours'.

Sleep ? Not even a single minute of peace for my soul, burning in regret ,repent and
mourning.

I pity the times when I used to wake up and refuse to look at her or greet her. The days , I simply never cared for her. And I can't do anything else than repent . I hate myself for all what I have done.
That's the thing about us humans , we value something only when its lost.

There's a pain seeping through my body. It's not physical, it's just a lot. So much of anger , the urge to shout and scream and hit myself just to get rid of that pain.

It's a house now, it was a home once. We are without her. Without her, everything is gloomy , Zian is slowly coming to terms but nevertheless stands tall when it comes to his mother.

I don't even have the courage to talk about her.

I just miss her. Day or night. Her laughter echoes in my ears and they bleed . My hands what to hold her in my arms , for once. All I pray is that she comes back. Because now when she is gone , a part of our lives is missing, there is a strange hollowness in everything.

When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missin' you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missin', too
When you're gone
The words I need to hear
To always get me through the day
And make it okay..
I miss you.

_______________________________

They say we see what we want in our dreams. And what we hate in our nightmares. It's silly how our heart suddenly awakens one day and yearns for somebody . That's how you miss someone ? Maybe.

Sorry but I have become a lazy reader I guess.
I might put up another update soon. Till then
Lots of love!!