Author: aizrin_

Blurb: 

"The curse will never end until you end it." 

Cursed to die at an early age before twenty, the Winifred princesses stood no chance against the vile curse. However, as time goes on, the curse grew weaker until in the end, vanished. 

Or so they thought. 

Ara Gwyneth Winifred must be the one to end the curse once and for all in order to bring peace to her kingdom. The weakened monarchy is threatened by the rising power of the Hollow World and also the power-hungry Magic Circle. 

"None of you are longer needed. The Grand Council's decision is absolute." 

With the power of the next generation of Erkerd Kingdom's leaders began to fade, they must find ways to regain back their strength. They will never rest until they find a way to fight against the growing power if their enemies within and beyond the kingdom's boundary. 

Life will never be easy until the Demon King is satisfied or defeated. For that, the humans must join forces together to fight against the beings from the Hollow World. However, an attempt of alliance might just be the way to stop the never ending battle between humans and demons. If only the members of both sides agree to it. If not, it would only lead to a fight against their own kinds.

Title:

The title doesn't exactly intrigue me. My brain keeps telling me that a the is needed at the beginning, but it's fine as it is. Not exactly what I would think of as a fantasy title, more of a fantasy romance than anything. But it's short and catchy, so it's good as it is.

Cover:

The cover should probably be redone. It's a dark grey and black and not eye-catching at all. Especially since this is fantasy, it should be a better one to catch the potential reader's eye.

Blurb:

Second paragraph, last line. It makes it seem pointless to add that in there because it doesn't make sense in comparison with the previous line, like you're giving something away. You can keep it or cut it; it just stood out to me as not fitting, but it might just be my opinion.

Saying that Ara Winifred must be the one to end the curse puts a high emphasis on the Chosen One trope, which some people might think as cliché. Maybe say that she's the only one or the only one left to make it seem more desperate in a sense. And you don't need the also before "the power-hungry Magic Circle." The and does a good enough job of distinguishing the two.

The line right after that is awkward, like something is missing. maybe say "None of you are needed any longer," or something like that because it flows awkwardly. And I love the word absolute in the next sentence, but maybe final would be a better word?

Paragraph after, it should be something like "As the power of the next generation of the Erkerd Kingdom's leaders begins to fade," so it fits in with the verb tense of your other sentences.

My last critique is that I'm not sure how the last paragraph ties into the whole Winifred Princess curse; I'm sure it fits in with the book's narrative, but as for the blurb, it's a bit confusing, like you have two different stories going on.

I was really nit-picky with this because I really liked the blurb, but I saw a few grammar errors and little things that seemed to not work in it. You can take my suggestions or leave them, it's up to you. :)

Another note: 

I love your aesthetics! They are so beautiful!

Prologue:

Interesting read over-all, I'd say. There were a few grammar errors, mostly is's instead of was's, but I commented on most of them. Make sure that you don't change verb tense half-way through. I am intrigued at the Winifred Princess' eyes being pure gold though; it gives room for a host of options to choose from where to take the story and I'm curious to see where this will lead up to. The whole traitorism aspect, while fascinating to read, should have more emotional impact. Show more than tell this change in the story so that it comes as a shock. Instead of merely saying that the king trusted him like his own brother, give an example why, whether it's a flashback or something that would have caused the king to love him like his own brother. That way, the betrayal will have more impact on the reader as well as the character.

Chapter I: Birth of a Winifred

I really enjoyed this chapter. You did a good job setting up the characters, especially Ara and her betrothed. It was really sweet, the exchange between them. I also like it how everyone is distinguished by having pink hair and how you managed to remind the reader of it without coming across like shoving it in the reader's face. That said, I would recommend not pushing "the pink haired" whatever when describing them because it doesn't sound very natural. Maybe lines like "she brushed aside a strand of pink hair" etc. Also, I commented on this and am going to say it again for anyone else reading this: blond describes the hair of a male while blonde (with an e) is for female. Just continue to watching your verb tenses and make sure that you stay in that tense instead of switching every few lines. Also, there were a lot of characters introduced all at once in your first chapter. This can be confusing for the reader—it was for me—so I would suggest either introducing some of them later or just adding more character descriptions so they stand out and we don't lose track of who's who. Last point. The birth scene. I know this is a bit cliché in some fantasy stories, but the only reason I'm bringing it up is because of the whole screaming. Not sure how many births you've witnessed (I'm not talking about television, but real life), but women don't usually scream. It actually can be very dangerous to scream during labor because of the added strain it puts on your body on top of the birthing pain. Most women moan, so I would suggest changing that as well. Moving on!

Chapter II: A Ball to Celebrate

I liked this chapter even better than the last one! The characterization is very well-done and the dialogue feels very natural; it's easier to read and follow along with what is happening in the story. Again, watch your verb tenses, especially when explaining things so the reader doesn't get confused. I would like to see more descriptions of places, what places look like, sound like, smell like, etc. so the scene settings stand out more to the reader. I also would encourage you to go more indepth about the curse and describe it more so it doesn't feel so stiff when reading. But kudos for that chapter ending! I was not expecting it at all and it completely took me by surprise. Excellent work!

Final thoughts:

I actually was surprised at how well this book was written. Aside from grammar mistakes and lack of scene descriptions, it was really good and has a lot of potential. Add those descriptions and your story will really come to life. I went indepth with this review because I really liked your story and hoped to help give suggestions that will make it better. You are very gifted as a writer and I wish you all the best with this story!