"What We Left Behind" - @stxrkissed

Summary: 

Everything requires sacrifices. 

This is what Fei Hong grew up learning, and this is what she tells herself when she leaves Earth to set foot on a different planet in the far edges of the vast galaxy. With Earth's resources dwindling and her grandmother sick, Fei Hong makes the ultimate sacrifice that leads her to Erisua, a thriving planet full of opportunities. But everything comes with a price, and hers is the lingering feeling of not belonging in a world that seems to have grown without her. 

Fei Hong is thrown, yet again, into the tumultuous hands of fate when the first traces of a deadly virus infect Erisua. With the help of a mysterious, grey-eyed boy, Fei Hong finds herself racing against the clock to her new home and all she's ever known.

Initial Reaction: 

What even?! I'm freakin' out (in a good way). This is a teen sci-fi story with elements of romance and mystery. It's beautiful. I love the world-building, the small descriptions, the new technology like the augmentation lenses (being able to see social media, messages, news, using maps) is amazing, emotional motivation and the tension between the past and present (or in this case future). New versus old. Fei Hong, our main character, embodies this tension; for she feels like she doesn't belong in Erisua, where everything is new, efficient, and out of reach. The story's pacing is phenomenal as well! I feel like time is a big factor in this story along with history. I'm enjoying this story!

Strengths:

1. Symbolism: Throughout the entire story, there is imagery and elements depicting symbolism. The one I notice is the water/raindrops. Right from the beginning, the readers' first experience is Fei Hong leaving Earth while it rains. The droplets run over the space ship and the rain pours down him (which the audience is intrigued with the mystery of who he is, we have no name, we see the emotional draw to him in Fei's point of view). I absolutely love this! Especially in the prologue, when "Fei Hong rested her forehead against the window of the shuttle, her eyes tracing the raindrops as they raced down the side of the glass," so much emotion is being displayed with the water/raindrop association. There's sadness in her mannerism with the droplets, her eyes desire to touch them. The longing in her departure. Also, there is another layer, the water represents renewal and a new beginning. A small sliver of hope too. Gosh, when he smile sat her. The emotional connection draws the readers to the story; the symbolism is elegant and works amazingly! 

2. Details: The attention to details is superb. The small things within a story is crucial, especially in a sci-fi in the world-building. The readers rely on the narrative to show and tell about the new world; what are the technologies, advancements, what is similar and what's new? And boy! The first five chapters do just that. It's great! I thoroughly enjoy seeing Erisua. I like that Fei is a barista so then the occupation is significant for people do to. And also, the connection with Fei. The readers get to see what her appearance is in chapter one, "sharp cheekbones. Stark, upturned brown eyes on a plain, pale face." We learn what she looks like because in Erisua people change their appearances; they add in different colors to their eyes, bright, vibrant color hair, and other unique features to display how different they are from the old world, Earth. It's fantastic, it helps the reader engage more with the story. We are transfixed within the characters, new world, and plot. Really good! 

3. Memories: Gosh!This here. It drives Fei's motivation and the emotional response. The readers begin to understand and connect with Fei. For when she leaves Earth and as she lives on Erisua. Memories are apart of her. She clings onto the past to never forget. Even while her grandma fights dementia, she recalls what happened earlier on in her life and grandma. We even see the past between her and him. The whole mystery that surrounds him fascinates me! His reason for staying. Through the memories, we learn new information, reasons, and emotion; we dive into chapter three with the "golden hues of sunlight that kissed her skin as she sat underneath the willow tree." The happiness, Fei desires this. She wishes the memories to be reality again. She keeps them alive and the audience relates to her. It's great!

Recommendation: 

I have a challenge/recommendation to help grow and stretch more. I really enjoy reading this story! There are so many genres and they mix so well together. An excellent job! 

There is a few things to help out in. In chapter four, there is a back and forth between present and past tense. It happens two or three times. The earlier chapters, it's written in past tense. I want to let you know, it's all good!

Now here is the challenge.

In chapter four, the readers meet a new character, Elora. We learn briefly about other planets how other species are on Erisua along with humans. This dialogue shows the tension between the two. Especially when Elora looks down on Fei for being human. Asking why she stayed so late; we get a glimpse into the social aspect of this world.

Challenge is to possibly show more of this tension between species. We know about the emotional side (which I absolutely love), maybe show the reason why Fei is one of the last humans to leave Earth? Were there other species from other planets arrive on Erisua before humans? Digging a little bit deeper can strengthen the readers' understanding.

Overall, it's an amazing story!

Thank you so much. I hope this helps and encourages you. :D