QUOTE OF THE CHAPTER:

"Nobody likes being alone that much. I don't go out of my way to make friends, that's all. It just leads to disappointment. "
― Haruki Murakami, Norwegian Wood

Dedication: @Corlaya (for being so sweet and her thoughtful comments. Go check her stories.)

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CHAPTER SEVEN

We sit on rocks, our clothes and hair wet and bodies trembling. Sometimes nervous glances at each other follow, but mostly we don't look, speak or even breathe. I can't stop thinking about what has happened just like ten minutes ago and why I struggled to back off. Furthermore, now I have to deal with this nervous tension between us and I don't think any jokes can resolve the problem.

I'm helpless. I've never been in an awkward situation before, I've created some for others but never been at there myself.

I squeeze my hair, trying to dry it, but my clothes are so wet that makes me shiver. It's a cold night, since we are not at summer, and I am angry at Calvin for making such a childish joke. Yet I know that I should say something - be playful and annoying because it is how I always am. What's just happened won't change it - Jack, you aren't even virgin. Don't act like a nun.

"It's fucking cold," I murmur, with a soft and complaining voice, my eyes fixed on the sand that drops from my hair fall on. Then, my eyes dart on Calvin, who has now stood up and seeking something with his eyes. I wait till he picks some wood pieces, walks over to me and digs a hole. Then, he fills the hole with some material that can be burnt. I watch him patiently, as he rubs the woods together and lights a fire out. My face lightens up with the flames rising from the hole. "Wow," I say happily, "Fire!"

He looks up at me, smiling.

"Shit, how did you learn to do that?"

He sits before me, rubbing his hands over the flames. He doesn't answer for a while and I don't push it, enjoying the sudden heat that fire provides. Now, it's only the fire that lights our faces, and environs since it's almost midnight. I'm startled by how quickly the time passed by but how I actually like being here.

I examine him with my eyes, trying to understand why he suddenly closes himself down and doesn't utter a word. He peers at me suspiciously, and catches me up staring at him. "What?" He asks as though we've been talking and my confused looks are meaningless.

"You haven't said anything."

"Haven't I?" He says airily. Then, he clears his throat, straightening up and our bodies facing each other. "We used to camp once a month," he starts off. "With dad. And well, naturally you need to set fire to heat up. He taught me," - he looks at me - "And it took sometime to figure out. It isn't as easy as it seems, it needs practise."

"Really?" I say. "It seems pretty easy here."

He rolls his eyes and leans down to grab two pieces of wood. "Take these," - he hands me - "and set a fire, then, Jack." He looks at me daringly and I narrow my eyes in turn.

I take the woods from his hands defensively. Then, I try to rub them as he did but for a while, nothing happens. He presses his lips together not to laugh at me and when I look at him nervously, he just lets it out. "I- I'm sorry," he says between his laughters.

I throw them down nervously, folding my arms together. "They are wet," I say. "Of course, they won't work out."

He picks them up again and hands me. "So," he says, holding my hands, therefore the woods, and doing the way he has lit them before. And it works. But there, I'm not really paying attention to his amazing camping skills but the actual distance between us. Why am I caring so much about it, dammit? This is one touch, Jack, don't be a dickhead. "Is this your fault or the woods now?" He snickers as he retreats, and looks at me with a safistied grin.

"Woods," I grumble. "It's always the woods."

"No thank you for heating us and saving us from freezing?"

"No," I deadpan. "You are the one who caused all the mess at the beginning. Of course, you are going to save us - it was all your fault."

He sighs. Instead, I ask something else. "Why did you bring me to Ric's party? I thought you aren't on good terms."

"He invited us."

"Us?" I ask to assure. "He invited me?"

"Yeah," he murmurs thoughtfully. "I don't know why but he invited you, too."

"And you didn't tell me." I snap.

"I brought you anyway, why is it important who invited you?" He snaps back.

Remembering the conversation with Ric, I get even madder. If I knew that he invited me, I'd have responded way more effectively when he said 'I didn't invite you.' "If you told me in the first place, I'd never come," I blurt out angrily, looking at him. "This way, it seems like I've been waiting forever for Ric to invite me to his party, and as if he is not my biggest enemy."

"I didn't take you there," he says, offended, "There are just two of us here."

"Why did you bring me anyway?" I inquire. "You have friends to hang out with," I add intently, remembering when he laughed along with people and looked cosy.

He stands up, and extends his hand out. "We are being late," he says and I realise he skipped the question. Sighing, I get up from the rock, ignoring his hand and start walking towards where the car is parked.

We don't talk during the walk, and the closer we get the louder it gets and I feel like in the environment of a party again. People laugh, shout and dance, and it seems like even the passing time doesn't wear them down. They look the same, energetic and lively and if they ever look at me, I know what they will see.

This is why I try to hurry up and get into car before getting into a conversation or fight - having a possible danger. I'm not in the mood for fight, surprisingly. But of course, life is never at my side and I hear Richard shouts after me - or us. I'm not sure who he's yelling at. "Leaving so early?" His teasing voice causes to eye-roll, and I turn back to face him as he walks over to us. His eyes are fixed on me and then, my wet façade - it makes him snicker. "Swimming at night, it looks good." His eyes are still on me and I bet I'm not the only one who has fathomed what he intented to say.

"Richard," Calvin mutters angrily.

I grip his arm and make him look at me. "Cal, get into car."

He narrows his eyes. "Aren't you coming?"

"After I," - I glance at Richard. "sort this out."

"Yeah Cal," Richard laughs, "Go wait at the car." His mocking tone doesn't help and I actually understand how offensive I've just sounded - Cal must feel terrible. But he should wait in the car. Why do I even care if he's hurt? I am not his babysitter.

"Fuck you, Ric," I snap at him. "What's wrong with you?"

"I just like to tease you, Jackie."

I step closer towards him. "Shut the fuck up or..."

"Or what?" He asks daringly.

"Did you invite me to tease?" I ask instead, wondering what his reaction will be.

He looks at me, surprised but instantaneously, it's changed by a smirk. "Maybe."

I roll my eyes. "I didn't know you've invited me, okay," I say defensively. "I wouldn't come if I ever did."

"I'm now hurt," he says mockingly and I groan at that. Then, I spin on my heels and start walking over to the car.

Right then, someone comes after me. Someone whose voice is as high-pitched as an explosion. Megan. She looks at me angrily, her hands on her hips and I can't help thinking why the hell she is in the party? I shouldn't be surprised since I'm even here though.

Richard speaks up my thoughts. "Why are you here?" He's behind us now, Megan's back facing him.

Her eyes are locked on me and I swear they are burning with fire. "You did this."

"Did what, bitch?" I ask.

"Richard dumped me because you venomed him."

"You can't really venom the venom itself, but if you think so, go ahead because I think this is the smartest decision he's ever made - to dump you, I mean. Who do you trust this time? Since you found the courage to go against me again."

"You'll pay for it," she hisses with gritted teeth.

"Oh," I laugh. "Wow."

She gets closer and closer. I fold my arms and stare at her flatly. Is she serious? When she reaches at me, I don't resist the fight - and well, soon enough, there appears a scene of hair-pulls, lots of cuss and high volumes. I don't realise when Calvin spares us, "Stop," he says angrily. Then, he sharply glances at Richard who enjoys the view apparently. "Why didn't you stop them?"

"Why would I?" He says, laughing and Calvin throws another sharp glance. I swear I didn't see him this angry before. But I don't get why he's so mad.

"Why did you stop me?" I ask, angrily. "I was so close to give her what she deserves..."

"Did you see your face?" He deadpans. "Because now, it's painted by nail scars." I can feel them burning when he points out and I don't regret it - I wanted to punch Megan and now, since it's guaranteed, there is no danger.

I get rid of his grip, when I realise that he has been holding my arm tightly, and head to the car. I open the door and, look at him getting inside with an angry expression and he slams the door. When he drives, a pregnant silence emerges in and no one speaks a word. I check my face in the mirror and a curse escapes from my mouth. "Shit," I breathe, realising my face is even worse than before.

He throws a sideway glance at my way, not uttering a word and driving the car. I keep checking myself and I know I'm done. I can't go home like this - with this face since my mum knows the previous one and I promised her not to happen again. In theory, of course, because I knew it was going to happen one way or another. "They look bad," I say, unconsciously and then, regret saying it aloud.

"I was in the car," he snaps, "it took me long to realise you were in a fight." I know he is offended because I ordered him to do something, but he didn't have to do it for fuck's sake.

"You didn't have to listen to me," I snap, looking at him. "You aren't my slave, you don't need to obey me."

He laughs lightly but the tone is humorless. "It's not obeying," he says seriously after a while, his eyes on me. "You clearly said it's your business to do thus I didn't want to interfere." Then, he continues, not waiting for my reply. "I didn't know you were going to flirt withd Ric and then, fight with Megan."

"I wasn't - I wasn't flirting." I say. Why do I even explain myself? I can flirt with whoever I wish. "I don't have to tell you anything." I snap.

"Right."

There is that tension again - followed by a dead silence. So silent that I can't hear anything because of its screams. It's how silent it is - all you can hear is it.

When we are almost at town, I remember there's no way that I can go home but I don't want to crush at park, either. There, a wild idea kicks in, yet I know it is so good to be true. But it's worth the try.

"Erm, Calvin," - he peers at me - "can I come over?"

"Now?"

I nod my head, my eyes lingering on my lap.

"Okay," he says.

"Really?" I ask, arching my eyebrow and getting shocked that it was so easy. He didn't even question why or teased me about it. "You don't wonder why?"

"Will you tell me why?" He deadpans.

"Not probably," I admit, "but still I thought that you'd ask."

He presses his lips together, then a smile quirks up at the corner of his lips. "That's why I didn't ask, because I'm tired of being rejected."

"Huh," I scoff, "I haven't even properly rejected you yet."

"Well, Jackie, instead of rejection, you beg me for staying at my place."

I peer at him nervously, "If you say another word about..."

"You'll do what?" He mocks. "Decide not to stay at mine and spend the night at park?"

I look at him in disbelief. "H- how do you know that?"

"I wasn't sure," he admits, "But now, I do." That makes me groan, realising that I fell for his trick. "That explains why you are so sick the previous day. Is there a problem between you and your family?" He asks.

I choose to shut up. Because I don't know the answer either - if there is a problem or my whole life is. I keep gazing out, and he doesn't push it. The rest goes with silence, and lots of thoughts echoing in my head.

When he parks the car at the driveway, I immediately get out and walk to the porch. I fold my arms together, trying not to tremble but I am still a bit cold due to the dampness of my clothes and the chilly weather. It's 1:00 AM, and everyone is probably asleep. The stars look wonderful and quite visible in the sky, and as Calvin gets out and fits the key into the lock, I eye them in awe. As always, it takes him to fit the key but I don't offer help this once. Finally, he opens the door and we creep inside slowly. It's dark in the house, so I follow him through his room. Along the way, I hit the wall, and he probably bites the laughter back, but then, we enter his room and shut the door.

When he turns the light on, I feel relieved to see something at last. His room is so neat and plain, and it carries nothing from its owner. When I look at him, I catch him staring at me back and I shift my eyes around uncomfortably because I don't know what is coming next. I've never spent the night in someone else's room before. "Your room," I say awkwardly, "it's - nice." Nice is the only word I can remember at that moment.

He chuckles and says, "Thank you."

I just shrug and sit on his bed, letting out a breath.

"You're not going to sleep with those clothes, right?" He asks, "I'll give you some of my clothes."

I actually want to resist but he's right - these clothes are so wet. "I would," I say instead, "if you didn't push me into the water."

"You enjoyed though," he says as he picks something from his drawer, looking back at me with a smile, "admit it."

"I enjoyed getting you wet - wait, this sounds wrong," I hum, "you know what I mean."

"No, I don't," he says, laughing. Then, he hands me his t-shirt and shorts. "You can change in the bathroom, turn to right-"

"Turn back," I say instead.

"What?"

"I can change here," I explain, "just...turn back."

He sighs, and turns around. I immediately change my bottom and take off my t-shirt and I notice he's being uncomfortable, rubbing the back of his neck and tapping his foot. "Okay, I'm fine," I say even though I'm just wearing bra.

He spins around and the face when he sees me shirtless is priceless - I wish I could take a photo. "Shit," he says, closing his eyes with his hands.

I break into laughter, "What? Don't tell me you haven't seen a girl in bra - or maybe without it," I sputter.

"Are you wearing that t-shirt or?" He demands, shyly.

I put it on, and say, "If there were another boy in your place, it would be different."

He opens his eyes and sits next to me. "Would you want it to be different?"

When I fathom what he says, I curse myself for bringing it in the first place. "Huh," I huff, "of course not. It's just I wanted to see your shyness."

"It was just to save your virginity."

"Don't worry, boy, there's no virginity to be saved." Then, when he doesn't answer and we just stand there awkwardly, I realise asking where to sleep is the appropriate question. "Well, um, I'll sleep on the ground."

He looks at me, frowning, "Of course not, you're sleeping here."

"And you?"

"I'll go sleep on the couch," when I open my mouth, "No arguments."

"What if your parents come and find me in your bed instead of you?"

His lips quirk up with amusement. "You can tell them that you've eaten me. No wonder that they'll believe."

"Ha ha." I roll my eyes.

He stands and walks at the door. "Good night," he says with a warm smile.

I wave him goodbye with an annoyed look. When he leaves, I take a deep breath, getting under blanket. It's much better than sleeping on a bench. I turn the light off, shutting my eyes down and waiting to fall asleep.

Yet I can't.

I don't know for how long I stand like that, trying to sleep, but suddenly someone enters in and turns the light on again. I'm so ready to curse Calvin -

"Calvin, f-" But I startle with Sue in front of me.

"Jackie Cookie," she whispers. "What are you doing here?"

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