sixteen / my name

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"I want to go for a walk," Kith said.

"I really need to finish this," Cameron replied, rubbing his hand over his exposed head. The professor for his macroeconomics class had decided to break their backs with homework and reading. He wanted to be doing anything else, but with a sigh, he decided that doing his schoolwork was more important. Biting his lip, he ran his finger down a page and highlighted a few sentences.

"It won't take long," she answered. Rubbing her stomach, she sat up straighter in her chair. All she really wanted to do was lie down, but she figured getting a bit of exercise was more beneficial in the long run. Plus, she knew that if she laid down, there was no way she was getting back up. All of her books were upstairs and inside her backpack.

"Kith," he said shortly, turning a page.

"Just around Greek Row," she answered, almost pleading. She desperately wanted to walk, and she didn't want to go alone.

Swallowing, he glanced over in her direction. "Fine," he muttered. Scooting his chair back, he grabbed his keys. "Hold on. I have to grab our coats."

"It's not that cold out," she argued.

Holding up a hand, he stalked past her and dashed up the stairs.

Locking up behind the pair, he descended the stairs, and then waited for the few extra seconds it took her. Formerly brown leaves curled with glassy ice on either side of sidewalks and streets. All the trees, stripped of their leafy glory, shivered in the light wind and the chill. Hoping Cameron didn't notice, she hugged the coat tighter around her midsection.

"I came up with a name," Cameron volunteered as they reached the end of the street.

"What?" Kith inquired. Inhaling deeply, she held her breath, prepared to hate it. They'd practically given up after their one afternoon of trying. Neither could come to a consensus, so that was that. Kith's biggest fear was going into the delivery room with nothing and then picking something stupid. A day or so afterward, she decided that she would go back through all the books herself and pick one without Cameron's help.

"Tristan."

Mulling the name over in her head, Kith continued walking. A small smile slowly came to her face. She actually liked that one. She could see it. The name gave her baby reality, an identity. She could see herself pushing Tristan around in a stroller; she could teach Tristan how to walk. There was a lot she could do with that name, and he could be anything with it, too. It was versatile, just like she wanted. Tristan could play football or paint pictures or write songs or direct movies. His possibilities were endless.

"I like it," she nodded, agreeing.

"What?" shocked, Cameron looked over.

"I like it," she repeated, smiling in his direction. "You win. That's his name."

"YES!" shouting, Cameron pumped his fist in the air and danced awkwardly in a circle. "YES! See?! That name is so bad-ass; he's gonna be awesome." They fell into contented silence. "Hey, there's this other thing I've been meaning to talk to you about."

"What?"

"I know it's kind of a big deal, but..." hesitating, he inhaled deeply and scuffed the bottom of his shoe on the pavement.

"What?"

"Nothing," he shook his head. "Never mind."

"No, you brought it up," she pushed. "What?" It was obviously important, and he just said he'd been meaning to ask her. It'd clearly been on his mind for a while.

Biting his top lip, he released it and shoved his hands deep into his pockets. "You're giving him my last name, right?"

Taken aback, Kith stopped in her tracks in order to process his statement. His last name? He wanted her to give her baby his last name? Keeping calm, she considered it briefly, and then like a sudden flash of light, it disappeared. Kith couldn't get that mad at him; he had good reason to want it. Hell, she lived in his room. He spent money on her. But they weren't together in any sense of the word. She wasn't his girlfriend or fiancée or wife or anything. They were friends. And soon he'd get sick of the whole thing. Right now, she was just pregnant. He didn't have to wake up in the middle of the night to quiet a screaming baby. He didn't have to feed, change, bathe, watch. Cameron didn't have to do anything yet.

And a huge problem, the main problem, made her stomach twist in knots. It wouldn't have been that big of a deal, but he and Austin, obviously, had the same last name. Tristan didn't need that name. It wasn't his fault. It wasn't her fault. For a split second, she felt that hand over her mouth again. Blinking, she tore herself from the red-rimmed memory and stared at Cameron.

"No," she shook her head furiously. "No, Cameron."

"Why not?" he questioned.

"You don't have to do that. You've already told your friends and your family. You don't need to tie yourself down legally to me and...."

"Tristan," he said confidently. "I'm not tying myself down. You're not forcing me to do anything, Kith. I want to."

"No," she repeated.

"Why?" he echoed. "I'm not going anywhere, if that's what you're thinking right now. I swear on my life I'm never leaving you or the kid."

"It's not a good idea," glaring at the sidewalk, she resumed a slow pace, gazing at the numerous trees lining them.

"You're my girl," he argued. "Of course it's a good idea."

"What does that even mean?" stopping again, she stared into his face. He said it so often without ever really explaining himself.

"I don't know," shrugging, he backed up, slightly put off by her suddenly confrontational attitude. "You're my girl, Kith. Does it have to mean anything?"

She didn't say anything.

"I don't understand why you're so angry right now," he commented.

"I'm not angry," she fired back.

"You sound angry," he muttered.

"I'm not," she answered through clenched teeth. She silently wondered why he wouldn't just let the issue drop.

"I'm helping you," he carried on. "I thought we were doing this together."

"We are, Cameron," she agreed with his reason. "But he doesn't... what's wrong with my last name?"

"Nothing," he shrugged. "But kids are supposed to have the guy's last name. That's how it works."

Licking her bottom lip, she stared at him wordlessly. Yeah, Tristan could have his last name, if he was actually Cameron's. But he wasn't. Cameron was in no way responsible for his appearance.

"Can we just keep walking?" Ignoring his remark, Kith gazed down the street, examining the various cars parked up and down the sidewalks. Sometimes she just wanted to drive, far, far away. But she couldn't do that, because she no longer had her car. And running wouldn't erase anything that had happened.

"Trouble in paradise?" Smirking, Heather appeared followed by two of her friends, two girls different than the original two Kith had seen. She assumed they were just as childish and bitchy.

"Heather, not now," Cameron said with exasperation.

"Aww, what's the matter?" Heather answered patronizingly. "Parenthood getting to you?"

"No, shut up," he said harshly, rolling his eyes. Clamping her mouth shut, Kith ground her teeth and thought about just getting back to the frat house. She should've just listened when Cameron told her the first time. They wouldn't be arguing, or crossing Heather's path, had she listened. Removing her hands from the fur-lined pockets of her leather jacket, Heather flexed her fingers, like she wanted to fight. Her smile widened as her eyes landed on Kith.

"You look nice and fat," she said slowly. "The boys must love you."

"Heather," Cameron snapped. "She's in fucking high school. Calm down."

"I'm calm," Heather replied easily, smiling evenly in his direction. "I'm fine. I was just making an observation, one I'm sure you've noticed too. She's fat. What else do you want me to say?"

"Leave her alone."

"Since when has she been your girlfriend?" Heather inquired.

"She's not," Cameron said quickly, biting his nail. "She's my friend."

I thought I was 'your girl', she thought to herself. How quickly that had gone out the window.

"I have guy friends," Heather answered slowly. "None of them have gotten me pregnant though."

"It's not her fault," Cameron answered coolly, shrugging like it was nothing. "I'm very persuasive."

"No you're not," Heather fired back, flipping hair over her shoulder. "She's just stupid, which is why you should've never left our campus. You're a good looking guy, Cameron, but I would never have let you get me pregnant." She tapped a finger to her head. "Smarter than that."

"You done?" he arched an eyebrow.

"You're life is going nowhere," Heather said directly to her. "It's done. I hope you're proud of yourself, slut." Kith was so used to hearing that from her that she didn't even flinch. Exhaling, Heather walked slowly over to Cameron. Pausing, she leaned right into his chest and whispered something in his ear. Whipping her head around, she grinned snarkily once more in Kith's direction and then continued her trek down the sidewalk, followed by her minions. Cameron stood there momentarily, staring right through her. Kith wanted to ask him what she'd said, but a huge part of her knew it was far from positive, especially if her name had been involved.

"It's cold," she said instead.

Snapping out of his trance, Cameron nodded stiffly in agreement. Falling into step beside one another, they headed back to the house.

"It's February," Cameron commented one morning while driving her to school.

"It is."

"Three more months," Cameron tapped his fingers on the steering wheel. "So close."

"It's not that close," she answered.

"Definitely close," he said back, turning the radio up slightly. "Are you scared?"

Turning to stare through the glass at the cars flying by, she shrugged. She wasn't anything. Labor had always sounded painful. Plus, she hated needles. She didn't want to be lying there in the worst pain of her life while simultaneously hooked up to machines. That was her worst nightmare. And who was going to be in there with her? She didn't want to be alone with a doctor, but at the moment, she couldn't tell who she wanted in the delivery room with her. Maybe it'd be better to do it alone, she considered. Her parents definitely weren't going to be there. Cameron's mom hated her. The only other option was Cameron.

"You have to be, even if it's only a little bit," he concluded after she didn't express herself verbally. Speeding up, he got in front of another car. "We need to get a car seat." Absently, he checked the vacant backseat in his rearview mirror. "How have the kids at school been?"

"Fine," she said lamely.

"What's the matter?" Glancing over briefly, he returned his eyes to the road.

"Nothing," she answered.

"You sound depressed," he noted.

"Not depressed," she said confidently.

"So no one's talking shit anymore?"

"I guess not," she shrugged. People still stared, but not as much. She was old news. There were far more interesting and scandalous stories appearing every single day. Her pregnancy had been a hot topic for months; now her fifteen minutes were over.

"You can tell me."

"No one's saying anything," she repeated strongly. "At least not to my face."

"Can you still fit into those desks?"

"I sit sideways, or at a table."

"I can't imagine being pregnant," Cameron bobbed his head back and forth to the song playing. "Getting all big and stuff. And then the whole delivery thing. That'd freak me out. I'd do a lot of things instead of having a kid. A lot. You're a tough one, Kith."

"Yeah," she agreed in a low voice.

"Hey, uh... has Austin tried to... anything? Like talk to you or anything?" he asked in seemingly casual manner.

"No."

"Good," he sounded pleased. "One more thing."

"What?"

Merging, he exited the interstate and turned onto one of the main streets leading to her school.

"Valentine's Day is coming up," he popped the p-sound. "Next week."

"It is," she dug beneath one of her nails.

"So, I guess..." clearing his throat, he turned into the school's parking lot and pulled into his usual space. "Did you want to do anything?"

"Did you want to do anything?" she countered. She repeated the question simply because she couldn't come up with an answer. Valentine's Day had never been on her list of holidays because she'd never been with anyone. She hadn't even received a card since elementary school, when it was a classroom affair. Annually, she spent the day ignoring the stuffed animals, the chocolates, and the general togetherness. She'd always done a great job of pretending like it didn't bother her. Secretly though, she'd always wanted someone amazing to surprise her with something, anything.

"Uh, I don't know," he rubbed the back of his neck. "Only if you wanted to do something."

"We don't have to," she said quickly.

"Yeah, but... I mean," unable to continue, he cut off the rest of his sentence, whatever it was. "We could hang out or whatever. I don't know. You're a girl; I'm sure your ideas are better."

"You really don't have to do anything," she unbuckled her seatbelt.

"There's no way you don't want something," he pressed the matter. "All girls do, even if they say they don't."

Kith looked at him.

"What?" he shrugged. "You know my history."

"We're not...," she didn't want to offend him by pointing out the obvious.

"You're... you know the deal," Cameron commented. "And this is your last Valentine's Day as a single girl, if you catch my meaning."

"Got it."

Both of them just sat there.

"I guess if you don't want anything...."

"No one's ever given me anything," she replied.

"What?" he sounded confused. "Oh yeah. You've never had a boyfriend." Tightening his grip on the steering wheel, he exhaled and looked around as the buses pulled up in front of the building. "Well...."

"You don't have to do anything," she said finally.

"You sure?"

"Yeah," she opened the door. A chill entered their warm haven.

"Okay," he didn't sound like he believed her. Studying her face, he waited for some sort of reaction, or a change in answer. Swallowing anything else that she wanted to say, she slid from the car and grimaced slightly as her feet met the cold tar. "Have a good day, Kith."

"Bye, Cameron."

Whose side are you on? Kith for not wanting the name or Cam for it?

TEASER: "We can't be together."

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